Random thoughts and insights from me. Send a good joke; I love good jokes and will repost them here.
NOTIFICATION TO ALL STAFF REGARDING LANGUAGE
It has been brought to our attention that some individuals have been
using foul language during the execution of their duties. Due to
complaints from managers who are more easily offended, this type of
language will no longer be tolerated.
We do realise, however, the importance of staff being able to properly
express their feelings when communicating with other employees. With
this in mind, the Human Resources Department has compiled a list of
code phrases so proper exchange of ideas/information can continue in
an effective manner without risking offence to our more sensitive
brethren.
Old Phrase New Phrase
1. No fucking way
I'm fairly sure that this is not feasible 2. Your fucking joking
Really3. Tell someone who gives a fuck
Have you run that by................4. No cunt told me
I was not involved in that project5. I don't have the fucking time
Perhaps I can work late6. Who fucking cares
Are you sure that is the problem7. Eat shit and die
You don't say8. Eat shit and die motherfucker
You don't say, Sir9. Kiss my arse
So you would like me to help you10. He's a fucking prick
He is somewhat insensitive11. That's fucking bullshit
I find that hard to believe12. You haven't got a fucking clue
You could benefit from more training13. This place is fucked
We are a little disorganised today14. What sort of fucker are you
You're new here aren't you?15. Fuck off shit head
Well there you go 16. You're a fucking wanker
You're my manager and I respect you17. Ha! Fuck you
I wasn't there that day18. This is bollocks
We need to look into this some more19. I aint got no cunt
I am rather short of labor20. Fuck off
I'll look into that and get back to youYes this is me.