Fucktards and Imbeciles
|
Posted:Mar 26, 2020 5:12 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2020 6:43 am
15097 Views
|
They are a plenty these days....
As I was walking into work this morning my friend Suzy Q yelled hello to and waved from behind her counter.
Smiling and waving back, I returned her greeting and yelled "Good Morning Suzy Q!"
At that moment a rando woman who was walking ahead of me turned and gave me the hairy eyeball.
"Do I know you!"
"Um, nope."
"How do you know my name??"
"I said hello my friend Suzy Q behind the counter. Contrary popular belief, the world doesn't revolve around you."
She didn't like my response, or the fact that I said it with a smile on my face with a light, airy tone....
The population at large was kind of pissing off today.
Between the lady who came 'shopping' because she wanted to stretch her legs and we were the only place she could go legally and the new hire who completely ignored me during her onboarding, I'm feeling a little disgusted with the human race.
|
|
|
14
Comments
|
|
Is it just me....
|
Posted:Mar 26, 2020 2:23 am
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2020 7:23 am
12529 Views
|
Or does Senator Mitch McConnell appear to be a reanimated corpse??
I've seen him now on several press conferences and news briefings, and every time, I wonder to myself if he's an actual human.
Does the man have any other facial expression than Zombie??
Just another one of those things that make me go....
Hmmmmmm....
|
|
|
12
Comments
|
|
Lunch Time Lingerie
|
Posted:Mar 25, 2020 4:05 pm
Last Updated:Apr 19, 2020 2:01 pm
65857 Views
|
Note self: When shopping for lingerie online at lunch, do not sit with your back oncoming traffic.
Learned this lesson the hard way.
I had been toggling back and forth between 2 items when I suddenly heard, "I like the black one."
Startled, I spun around to find Pervy Coworker standing behind looking over my shoulder.
" my God, how long have you been there??"
"Long enough know I like the black one and you should get the matching panties you were just looking at."
Kill now.
Every time I see this guy, now, I'm going be wondering if he's picturing in that skimpy thing.
Ugh....
|
|
|
45
Comments
(Page:)
|
|
I read somewhere once...
|
Posted:Mar 24, 2020 4:18 pm
Last Updated:Mar 26, 2020 4:48 pm
12009 Views
|
That our ears continue to grow our entire lifetime.
At the time, I scoffed it off.... This couldn't possibly be true. If it were, we would all be tripping on our earlobes and resemble something similar to the cartoon image of Dopey, the dwarf.
After seeing my last applicant of the day today, I've rescinded that thought.
I could see his ear hair entering my office long before I ever saw him.
Giant, hairy, stretched out earlobes flapping in the breeze as he gimped toward my office.....
I felt myself staring at them much like an onlooker staring at a horrific traffic accident.
Am I staring?
OMG, I'm staring!!
Can he see me staring???
Arg!! Why can't I stop staring????
It took every ounce of self control that I had to look away from the small flake of dandruff that was precariously dangling from the cluster of wiry, gray ear hair jutting out of the side of his lobe.
I only hope it didn't manage to fall off and land somewhere in my office.
Egads....
Which leads me to this thought.
Nose Hairs has a live in girlfriend and Earlobes has a wife.
Why aren't the looking out for these men???
I was always looking out for my husband when we were married... I wanted him to look his best. If he had something in his mustache, I would tell him. If he had a weird eyebrow hair, I would take care of it. Sometimes he would miss a spot or two when he was shaving, and I would help him with it....
Isn't that what we're supposed to be doing for our significant others?
|
|
|
20
Comments
|
|
A Funniness Void
|
Posted:Mar 23, 2020 3:37 pm
Last Updated:Mar 27, 2020 3:57 am
11780 Views
|
Today, I feel as though I've lost my humor.
Where there once resided my sarcasm and wit now rests a vacancy sign.
I'm overwhelmed at work. I'm watching a press conference about hoarding. I experienced one of my new hires tell me he received an eviction notice yesterday. I watched people panic today after Governor Whitmar put our state on lock down.
I think I'm going to need more than a snickers to get through this....
|
|
|
12
Comments
|
|
Sunday, Sunday.....
|
Posted:Mar 22, 2020 8:51 am
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2020 11:04 pm
11434 Views
|
My only day off this week and the Human Resources Manager texted at home to inquire why I didn't have any hires for Saturday....
Nice.
My anxiety has been pretty high, this adds to the list of reasons why.
The Spawn and I are hunkered down for the day, watching movies and arguing with each other about whether or not I'm fake at work.
Middle - Everyone at work thinks you are so nice. They love you.
Me - Well, I just treat people the way I want to be treated in return.
Spawn - Uh, no you don't. You're just fake.
Me - What?!?
Spawn - Of the people in the world, I'm the one who knows you best. And, I know you're fake at work.
- Maybe that's the real and I don't like having to be the mean mom who makes you use your manners and pick after yourself the time.
Spawn - I like you that way. It's more realistic.
I kind of wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.
She's a stinker, but she loves her Momma. Even as I sit here typing this, I commented that my feet were cold, so she put her feet my own and wrapped her blanket around them.
I like her just the way she is, too.
Most of the time....
|
|
|
12
Comments
|
|
Today I am thankful.
|
Posted:Mar 21, 2020 11:44 am
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2020 3:49 pm
13084 Views
|
There is a lot going on in the world today.
I think we all know why....
But, today I am thankful that I was forced to work a Saturday.
Why thankful?
I'm thankful because I have a JOB that I can still continue to go to every day. I'm thankful that I'm being asked to work OT, that's extra in my pocket!! I'm thankful because the company I work for cares enough about it's employees that we are receiving hazard incentives for putting ourselves out there in the midst of the illness and chaos.
I'm thankful be healthy!
I may not be able buy toilet paper, rice, and yeast... But I'm thankful that I got to finally pick up a bag of potatoes and a loaf of bread today.
The world doesn't seem quite as terrible when you sit down and think about all the stuff you have to be thankful for.
|
|
|
23
Comments
|
|
What will it take for you to let me eat your pussy?
|
Posted:Mar 20, 2020 4:54 pm
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2020 7:32 am
18574 Views
|
Um, for starters, if this is your opening line, it would take a miracle....
I'm fascinated by some of the correspondence I receive on here. I do meet men from here in person. I've been doing it for years, so it's not a matter of desperation for me. I select the one who piques my interest and fits the bill for what I'm currently looking for and go for it.
The sad thing is....
There are men out there that use these opening lines. Then they bitch because nobody will meet with them. They blame it on fake profiles, they blame it on the site, they blame it on women like me who won't just fall into bed with someone because they are "in Gaylord".
-I'm in Gaylord.
Uh, yah. So am I. Want a cookie??
-Like what you see?
90% of the messages I receive contain a dick pic. To be honest, you all look alike to me.
-I like your feet.
Great! So do I!
-Wanna fuck?
I do! Probably not you though....
-Looking for someone real who doesn't play games.
Damn... You take all the fun out of it.
I can only speak for myself, but, here's the thing.... I am worth the effort. I am smart, funny, and an experienced lover. I know what I'm doing....
I'm not going to just waste that on any old putz who just happens to be in town looking for a piece of ass.
So, to the gentleman who got pissy with me because I said no to his proposition to allow him to eat my pussy at his place of employment, quit acting like a fucktard and maybe someone might say yes.
-
|
|
|
32
Comments
(Page:)
|
|
Today
|
Posted:Mar 19, 2020 4:05 pm
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2020 3:59 am
13880 Views
|
Today is the anniversary of something I don't want to remember....
Funny how the good things that happen, the moments that make you smile and look upon fondly are so easily forgotten.
Why is it that the unpleasant sticks with us?
Always sitting there in the back of your mind waiting for it's opportunity to reappear.
Surprise! I'm back! Did you miss me??
I was fine until I got to work this morning....
And then it happened. The music was playing loudly and I could feel the memory creeping out from where I had suppressed it. I tried to push it back but it just wasn't going to leave....
My eyes filled with tears that I couldn't hold back and found myself crying.
It was a brief moment of sadness.... Then I managed to pull myself back together, tucking this bad memory back into the banks to be forgotten once again.
If only I could just take it away....
|
|
|
21
Comments
|
|
The Difference Between Sons and Daughters
|
Posted:Mar 18, 2020 4:59 pm
Last Updated:Mar 19, 2020 3:43 pm
14112 Views
|
My middle has worked a couple of days now and word has gotten out....
The coworkers are realizing that he is my and they're all filling me in on how much they like him and how good of a worker he is.
I'm so proud!
He's such a good and has such a sense of responsibility. I saw him working today as I was leaving to head home and I couldn't even contain my smile.
Then there's the spawn....
With no school to occupy her time all day, I spent the day receiving random texts from her.
I can't find my chapstick.
Did you steal my chapstick?
I think I have the Choronavirus.
Can you buy me a candy bar?
Dixie opened a fortune cookie that said her new life is right in front of her.
Dixie?? Who in the hell is Dixie??? When did she get chapstick???? Does she think I'm going to bring her home a candy bar because she said she has Choronavirus?????
If she thinks I'm bringing her home a candy bar after she accused me of stealing her chapstick she's sadly mistaken.
And there you have it.... The difference between sons and daughters.
|
|
|
15
Comments
|
|
Let's play a little game.
|
Posted:Mar 17, 2020 4:04 pm
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2020 3:41 am
15790 Views
|
We'll it...
Guess How This Rapper Died
The Spawn and I were sitting on the couch tonight after dinner. She was talking a mile a minute about Post Malone's new tattoo and asking if she should be Post Malone for Halloween.
"I think I want to be Post Malone for Halloween. Did you know you can his tattoos on Amazon? See, !"
She started to show pictures of people who were wearing the Post Malone tattoos... etc.
The next thing I know the conversation has morphed into a show and tell of rappers with tattoos who are now dead.
"Guess how this rapper died!"
"Um, I don't know. What the heck is wrong with his teeth?"
"It's called a grill, jeez Mom. He was shot in his car right after he bought a motorcycle."
"How do you know this??"
"Everyone knows this...."
The next thing I know the Spawn in rolling her eyes and moving on to the next dead rapper.
"Guess how this rapper died!"
"I don't think I like this game."
"Mom! Guess!"
"I don't know. Someone poisoned his soup."
"Seriously?? him, he died of a drug overdose."
I could see the disapproval written all over her ... Still makes chuckle. I ended up telling her I didn't need to know that kind of stuff because I had her to keep in the loop.
"You know, I won't be around forever."
" pretty sure I'll be ok with my limited rapper knowledge."
|
|
|
25
Comments
|
|
Hygiene in the Workplace
|
Posted:Mar 16, 2020 4:28 pm
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2020 4:33 pm
13602 Views
|
I was standing outside my office when I noticed the smell....
What is that smell?!?
I looked around thinking there may be an mop bucket sitting out with stagnant water.
I just couldn't pinpoint it.
Nose Hairs was across the hall talking his manager and I never thought twice about it....
Until he left and took the stink with him.
Nose Hairs was kicking a case of BO like I've never witnessed before. My eyes were tearing up and my sinuses were cleared....
When did this guy shower last?!?
I'm feeling ill just at the thought of the smell.... And, no, it's not Choronavirus.
The way a man smells plays a key part in my opinion of his attractiveness. The better he smells, the more attractive he becomes to me. I love a nice smelling man....
Nose Hairs is not that man.
I'll bet he has long toe nails, too....
Egads!
|
|
|
13
Comments
|
|
Tonight at the gym....
|
Posted:Mar 15, 2020 6:18 pm
Last Updated:Mar 19, 2020 4:06 pm
12282 Views
|
I cleared my throat and the lady on the treadmill next to me immediately shut off her treadmill, wiped it down, and left.
Should I be taking this personally??l
I didn't.... I was actually happy she left. She was a loud breather.
I took my shopping yesterday for new work pants and I bought myself some bona fide gym wear as a reward for my hard work the past month and a half at the gym.
Last week alone I spent 9.65 hours at the gym. I tracked 51,213 steps on my fitbit, equating to 17.69 miles, and I also managed to climb 46 floors on top of it all.
I deserve a moisture wicking athletic shirt and matching yoga pants!
My little old lady from last Sunday showed up at the gym again tonight. She had a ruffly grey shirt on, a grey ball cap, and black capri pants. I smiled when I saw her and she immediately began talking to me.
She said she left her husband at home tonight because she needed a break from him. She had apparently gotten her last 2 teeth pulled on the top of her mouth and she'd only been eating soup the last few days and she was getting sick of soup. She also said she couldn't wait to get her top denture because she planned on getting a job.
She is a woman with goals!
Makes me think of myself, in a way, as I've always got goals I'm working toward.
Right now my main goal is to become a better person.
|
|
|
12
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (secret_lade) use [blog secret_lade] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
11
|
21
|
31
|
41
|
5
|
|
61
|
71
|
81
|
91
|
101
|
111
|
121
|
|
131
|
141
|
15
|
161
|
17
|
181
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
|
|
|
|
|
Most Recent Comments by Others
| The Shot Heard Around the World (33) | md46guy
Mar 14, 2022 6:58 am |
| TGIF! (15) | justskin1
Feb 25, 2022 6:34 pm |
| In an unexpected Valentine's Day twist.... (37) | CL_Love
Feb 17, 2022 8:41 am |
| I'm betrayed. (23) | citizen4722
Feb 14, 2022 12:50 pm |
| We all have that one coworker.... (27) | boobwhisperer69
Feb 13, 2022 1:29 pm |
| Feel that icy chill? (28) | citizen4722
Feb 13, 2022 12:18 pm |
| Phone calls from Don Juan.... (23) | pagancountrygirl
Feb 11, 2022 4:34 pm |
| You know it's been a rough night when.... (27) | Unzipmeslowly51x
Feb 11, 2022 3:01 pm |
| Now you see it, now you don't. (24) | Unzipmeslowly51x
Feb 10, 2022 2:28 am |
| 5 Things NOT to do in an Interview (31) | Solmich45
Feb 9, 2022 8:29 pm |
| A Blank Screen (9) | pagancountrygirl
Feb 8, 2022 5:24 pm |
|
