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I'd love to tell you that my blog is always exciting and action packed with sex. But, the fact is that it's pretty much just a collection of my thoughts from time to time. There are spicy moments and jokes thrown in, but mostly I like to ramble on about my day. I like to ramble with open ended questions to anyone just cause I don't plain get "it." And probably most often I like to write about stuff and end up rambling about whatever's on my mind.
If you haven't figured it out by now.... I TEND TO RAMBLE. That's how I get stuff out. Your comments and opinions are always welcome and desired. This is an open forum for ...... anything. All are welcome. I try not to edit too much though so I apologize for not always being eloquent and for the occasional bad spelling and inevitable grammar errors that ensue. Do me a favor and look past them.... pretty please  , lol......O, yeah. And, if you comment and are a standard member stop by again later. I respond to pretty much everything everyone says on my blog.
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Guest book......
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Posted:Sep 28, 2007 8:31 am
Last Updated:May 4, 2012 7:34 am
51626 Views
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Hey all,
Thought I'd make a guest book... so when you drop by... say hey and let me know what you think. I mean I did go to all the trouble of writing out this here post and all. And just for you....
GO AHEAD AND SIGN IT!!!!...... YA KNOW YA WANNA...
Make sure to come back. I Hope to see you around more   ......and tell your friends too, lol.
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Sticky blog for chatting
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Posted:Sep 16, 2007 10:24 pm
Last Updated:Jun 1, 2012 6:02 pm
48948 Views
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I've seen a couple people do this; having a sticky blog at the top of their listing where people can leave messages that only they can see. That way anyone can leave a message and it can be a way to get in touch with me and reply with any info back and forth. (BTW, let me know if you want it posted or personal if you leave a message.)
So I look forward to hearing from anyone and everyone who wants to say hey. Check me out at hokietiger and drop me a line .
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My profile....
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Posted:Apr 5, 2011 6:06 pm
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2012 10:50 pm
47351 Views
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Check out my blog if you want to talk or see my profile.
I'm layed back and try to keep myself stress free. I let most things go because the drama and problems aren't worth hanging onto. Most people smile and have fun with me largely because I'm energetic, a little crazy, happy, and generally not what they expect. I'm often playfully sarcastic and joke whenever I don't have to be serious because life is too short. It works though because those who play along with me often become fast friends. I do genuinely care though. And even though I occasionally hide behind my nerdy joking facade I'm the kind of person that can always be counted on when things matter. Generally, the most important things in my life are the relationships I have with the people close to me. I'm an idealist and am very true to my own values and those who are close to me.
I spend a lot of my time challenging myself trying to be the best version of myself that I can be; not to make anyone else happier, but because it matters to me even when no one is looking. I am generally very open, understanding, and excited about living. I mean really! Who turns down a good opportunity to learn or have fun (oooo piece of candy)?
I think that says a lot about me, but at the same time I don't know if it tells anyone much about who I am. I love my job as a graduate student, I'm about as active as I can be playing sports and going to the gym. I have a passion for cooking and firmly believe it's what I'd be doing for a living if I wasn't in to science. I love sitting in the dark watching movies and losing myself in teh story. I am the kind of person who does really anything that sounds good as it comes up (think "yesman" with control). For instance, I'm going to sing Karaoke this weekend as a result of a random conversation I had this morning. I love the outdoors, though I'm sad to say I haven't found much time for it lately. When I'm really interested in things my eyes tend to light up and I talk a lot; like a with a new toy. I'm bit of a health nut, though I don't force it on others. I like exercising and being active because it makes me feel better than when I don't.
My Ideal Person:
I'd just like to meet new people and open up new facets of my life whether that means I make a new friend or something more. I'm kind of reorganizing my life and I'm trying to really be positive in the way I live. I think the best anyone can hope for is to meet people they like who share an interest or passion. Other than that, I find expectations get in the way of what is really there. I love new friends and I'm looking for real connections in life whatever the relationship because I've gotten to a point where I don't just need a hook-up and I don't want to meet people who are only fair-weather friends or acquaintances. Those things are ok, there's just so many things that are better.
I like people who aren't too uptight; who aren't afraid to make choices and live, though not completely recklessly or at the expense of others; who know themselves, have goals and desires, and are driven by something other than money or status. In short I would say I want to meet people who have their own ideals, and are true to themselves.
I'm layed back and try to keep myself stress free. I let most things go because the drama and problems aren't worth hanging onto. Most people smile and have fun with me largely because I'm energetic, a little crazy, happy, and generally not what they expect. I'm often playfully sarcastic and joke whenever I don't have to be serious because life is too short. It works though because those who play along with me often become fast friends. Generally, the most important things in my life are the relationships I have with the people close to me; friends, family, etc. I have been told I care too much about people because I often get hurt giving people too many chances, but in my opinion there is no other way to live.
If you are still are curious about me feel free to check out my blog. And, if you are a standard member and want to chat or just check me out I have a private post where you can write things only I can see. I'm a very up front sort of person and if you want to get to know a little more about me all you have to do is ask.
What are your favorite musicians or bands?:
-I care more about the music than the artist
What location do you fantasize about for a sexual encounter?:
-No particular place, What should I be enjoying?
What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
-Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Massage, usually whatever turns you on turns me on
Ever fantasized about having sex with a celebrity? Who? What turns you on about them?:
-I can't think of anyone in particular now, but I think
the general appeal for me is that they are kind of iconic
and perfect in your mind. I suppose that is kind of the whole
point of fantasizing.
Have you ever had cybersex?:
-I've tried it, but it's just not the same.
Birthdate: September 12, 1980
(30 years old)
Hometown: suburbs D.C., Virginia
Relocate?: Prefer not to say
Marital Status: Single
Height: 6 ft 1 in / 185-187 cm
Body Type: Athletic
Smoking: I'm a non-smoker
Drinking: I don't drink at all
Drugs: I don't use Drugs
Education: Current grad school student
Occupation: Grad Student
Race: Caucasian
Religion: Other
Have : No
Want : Maybe
Male Endowment: Average/Average
Circumcised: Yes
Speaks: English
Hair Color: Hair? What Hair?
Hair Length: Shaved
Eye Color: Inconsistent/Variable
Glasses or Contacts: Contacts
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My attention to my blog... (Ask me anything and I'll answer)
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Posted:Dec 27, 2007 10:17 pm
Last Updated:Jun 9, 2012 11:38 pm
48241 Views
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I thought I'd add a new sticky post. This one will be dedicated to anyone ambitious enough to start a conversation of their own in my blog. If you want to talk about stuff or like comments I write and want to go deeper.... I'm your huckelberry.
I love nice long deep conversations and people who like having them with me. So......
Be warned though...., if I haven't left a response on your blog... I can be a bit long winded at times and there are no such things as simple answers from me; it's either nothing or everything. And it's a fair certainty that I will ask something back too. I'll make it so only I can see the posts and questionss unless you want me to post it for all.
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Can anyone else see.....?
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Posted:Jan 7, 2013 11:50 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 6:1 pm
42136 Views
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Every min of every hour, every second of every day, and every moment of life I am haunted; but, not by the events of the day or the foreboding uncertainty of moments to come. Every moment, in the moment, I am completely terrified of both myself and everyone else in the world. Myself, I am the center of all negativity and the personification of the truth that we accept the love we think we deserve while the rest of the world is the outward embodiment of this poor tortured false reality.
What would happen if the world saw me? Would it be so terrible I wonder. No, such things are far beyond the risk of exposure. What would I do to stay camouflaged and concealed behind the action in the world? Would I remain a quiet figure in the corner only half participating in life? Would I tell white lies to always keep details shrouded? Would I sabotage relationships? Would I let myself fail when trying to attain goals? Would I become borderline sick with nerves when actually reaching out to try and let someone in while pushing that self back?
How do I hold the fractured pieces of my life together to keep that barrier in tact; just enough so that the world can ‘t see, but just fractured enough that I secretly hope they can? It’s not a game one plays to actively deceive the world. It’s not chicken. It’s not even always conscious or intentional.
Moments of bare bravery do exist. It is so easy to set myself up for failure though and then to allow that let down to reinforce that house and forgo straw and wood in favor of brick. It’s enough to make me want to just sit down in the shower continually beaten with tiny drops of hot water hoping each will wake me from my coma while knowing all too well that it only serves to provide comfort and a means to ignore real problems. So much fits that description it seems.
Sleep can’t come soon enough and so it never does. It gives way eventually though. Soon tomorrow will start again. Will that dare to be great moment present itself tomorrow? Will I take it? I suppose I need to believe in hope and in myself. I don’t know the alternative, but I know enough to know I don’t want to know.
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End of year late night thoughts....
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Posted:Dec 29, 2012 12:02 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 6:1 pm
41568 Views
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It’s a common story and still so many get caught up in it. As a wonder struck youth I will admit that so much of my philosophical pursuit has been toward finding some personal peace, always striving for a perfectly imperfect chord with my personal treatise of the world and balancing life in the moment with planning the future and trying to apply some perspective to the events of my existence when making sense of the past. I often wonder if happiness does, as I’m one to understand, live in the here and now. I believe so. And, even armed with that knowledge it is too incredibly easy yet still to avoid it all together.
How many songs are about being stuck in a moment? How many movies circumnavigate the idea that life will happen to those who live it? We hold such stories up as positive blueprints that, like hope, shine as a beacon for what can be. I can’t exclude myself from the ranks of the blind faithful. By my nature I am not given to be one who festers about long lost love or the “what ifs” and “whether fors” of professional life. Not a great worrier, and not quite the great warrior I would fancy myself, I will admit that my romanticized view of the world can’t shake my overly romanticized humanistic approach to it.
I get caught in the details; instants of clarity and beauty that make one long for the ability to stop time not in fear of mortality but to live its entirety out in that one solitary moment. Our senses betray us. Such things are not possible and great moments pass. They leave an imprint, a longing for better times and a small hole as well in the fabric of our lives. Nothing real or tangible can pass through it, but the sands of time seem to all the same.
Should not the knowledge that better moments likely await keep me in control of my own life and destiny instead of being behest by what must be fear and the unknown. I would never characterize myself as overly fearful or particularly clueless, but what else could sap the life out of life. Life itself should make life worth living; actively, alert, and ready to entertain all of the next moments, the now moments, and let those pass which have.
I want that alternate reality to be true though; the one where time has stopped, right choices were made, and time and favor have shifted my way. They don’t exist in fiction any more than in reality, and their reflections ripple like the face we long for and can no longer quite see in our mind’s eye.
Perhaps the rest of the world and I struggle with the necessity for contrast and relativity. We love our love, but we define it by our misery and through that definition life is cataloged instead of lived. Though the vales of night often avail me the knowledge and outside perspective they can’t very well do all the work, now can they? How many stop at awareness? It is true that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
Then …., the hand of the clock ticks, a moment comes along and one of life’s little ironies relives itself over again.
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state of the union
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Posted:Nov 24, 2012 12:54 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 6:1 pm
42228 Views
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I would kill to have something in my life that is so important it invalidates all choices because there is nothing to think about.
-employer: "Nick, I want to pay you $300,000/year"
-me: "Nope, sorry. Not worth it"
Hue Hefner: "Nick, I want you to come be my party planner at the mansion"
me: "I've got more awesome things in my life"
Batman: "Nick, I'm getting old and I need someone to take over for me"
me: "I wish I could say that was the best offer I've heard recently, Bruce."
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etc.... You get the idea
What is the most fabulous thing in your life?
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Feeling a bit of a different twinge today...
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Posted:Nov 7, 2012 10:07 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 6:1 pm
42079 Views
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Deep on the surface wherest once there was an assumed life there now exists a hole filled with two things: the space created by the apparent loss of the life which never really quite existed and also the possibility of the life and times recently recognized and elected straight forward to actually actively occupy said homestead. Einstein had it called right. Besides his other insightful thoughts on the rules which govern our world, he was magnificently and piercingly correct that time is in fact relative. And, while I can not accurately say for sure if he knew or considered it at the time, it was fairly insightful with regards to its higher meaning as well as the space taken up by said time.
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What a difference a day can make….
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Have you ever stopped to ask yourself where this shit comes from?
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Posted:Aug 23, 2012 10:46 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 6:1 pm
42604 Views
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Not limpid pools, there are no calm waters
Though clear windows they are anything but clear
Frozen in time confronted by the nothing in themselves
No amount of unfreezing can settle them
There will be no calm to refreeze
Realization leads to confrontation and confrontation leads to realization
But, what is left in the aftermath….
Perhaps a blank slate, but at what cost
Is it really blank….
Can you push the reset button with a bloody finger and still expect to see the title screen
Not a bartered act of contrition, nor a scared yearning can make things right
There will be no music tomorrow, just their emptiness reflected in the tired sleepless hours while the world sleeps blissfully unaware.
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from 2 weeks ago...
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Posted:Aug 23, 2012 6:16 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 6:1 pm
42556 Views
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I would like to dedicate this to my awesome week. It’s entitled:
An open ended poem to the universe, who is currently fucking me in the ass really, really, ...... really, really hard:
Thank you universe for the illness that the doctors can not name
And, thank you universe for bestowing me with apparently no game.
Thank you universe for the two fingers which probably could have gotten stitches
It only hurts a bit now to type, those stupid bitches…
Thank you universe for my ACL
You’re right, I’m sorry. I guess I only needed one.
And, thank you universe for this week at work.
It really was the opposite of fun.
That’s really just the beginning of the list
But, I don’t much feel like complaining.
I really could go on and on bellyaching
But, instead I’ll send out my hopes, even if they’re waning
Please universe make tomorrow better.
Or I swear I am going to go on a self-destructive binge of eating, swearing, loud
music, and a downward spiraling crime spree culminating in a police chase and a fiery car crash on the highway.
Yeah. That’s right. I know that last one didn’t rhyme and wasn’t in meter.
Fuck you universe.
Thank You
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Next...
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Posted:Aug 21, 2012 3:42 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 6:1 pm
42653 Views
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What do you do when you’re mind wakes from oblivion and you find that you have missed out on life; not on all of it, but some part of it that matters for sure?
What do you do when the time lost can not be equaled by time spent wisely, for there is no way to regain time, to get more, or to ever, in any way, make up for loss of any kind.
We search for answers to questions we don’t even know we have, driven by that internal clock whose gears turn for reasons even unbeknownst to us.
For those unable to give up or give in it can be torturous to sit listening to the speakers on full blast never able to control anything, even to the degree with which “control” once existed.
It can feel like a millennium waiting for the room to stop spinning and it’s never really the things we expect that stop the free fall and lead to tunnel vision-like clarity
It can be a kind word, that gorgeous smile that lights up a room, or maybe even just newly found perspective that drives us toward a desire and knowledge that there are greater things which can trump the noise.
Where does one turn then to fill the previously pointless future now with the force of desire but lacking the purpose of direction required to move forward.
What makes a difference? What is worth the effort? What is worth the time?
Already knowing how fleeting life, love, and happiness can be it’s hard to find what should or even does come next.
Although I would never presume to absolutely know the minds of others or the ends off all things, the answer, I think, lies in the simple truths because really all of the complexities are just illusions. For all those with whom this strikes a chord, you have already realized that the doors opened by disillusionment offer more than the perceived pain and loss presented at face value.
They provide opportunities. And, though I don’t know their end I am constantly and unavoidably presented with the options that always seem to boil down to one choice because I simply am who I am.
In the end we find we are in fact the key holders; a truth we thought we knew to begin with, but were wrong about all the same. The power to turn the key comes not from our ability to force it but by our wisdom to put one foot in front of the other instead willing to bow to whatever force comes our way.
It’s not defeat as some would see it, but the ability to transcend through acceptance, love, and understanding. The “newly” acquired knowledge that there is no control, no correct answer, no route to plan, no found, won, or discovered perfection directs us to the understanding that there is only our true self who already knows the answers to all things and is only awaiting the forks in the road to see them and realize the paths that are set before us all along.
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I woke up
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Posted:Aug 21, 2012 3:41 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 6:1 pm
42708 Views
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I woke up this morning excited about the fact that I was following through with a plan I had to change a part of my life.
I woke up this morning because I have decided it was important for me to plan, to practice, and to be ready to be good at what is important to me.
I woke up this morning and even after giving in to the temptation of eating cookies for breakfast I gave my body a work out and upped my metabolism.
I woke up today and decided I deserved a break and played a video game for an hour only to have the power go out before reaching a save point, so I took a shower and went to work.
I woke up today and went to work on “my day off” so I could get extra work done and I reconnected with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while in an honest and open way.
I woke up today and was there for my friends when they needed me
I woke up today determined to change part of myself that’s kept me from being successful
I woke up today for myself, but I can’t help wondering if anyone noticed
I woke up today……..
And, right now I’m wondering if it’s worth it to someone
I’m going to wake up tomorrow
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hard is easy..... so why is easy hard?
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Posted:May 27, 2012 12:07 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 6:1 pm
43720 Views
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Why is it that being close is so hard? I am not bragging or being particularly modest in saying so, but it is really easy to be there for people. And, frankly I can move the world as far as most people are concerned; solving problems, making people feel safe and cared about, quieting the chaos in life...... I am great at solving the problems for people that they can't solve themselves.
I am straight horrible at being with someone....
I often wonder whether I really just have no clue and am generally vapid when it comes to social situations or if I'm actually fucking up the best things in my life intentionally on some level.
To be honest I don't know if it really matters. Sad is sad and the degree to which you crash and burn seems rather unimportant.
I do love my friends though; the ones who seem immune to ....me. Whether it's because they don't invest in me to any real degree or because they just let me be me and expect nothing in return I am not sure. As before, I don't know if it matters why or how; not to anyone involved anyways.
The only thing that matters to most is what is. It's pretty much universal in all things to all people. Everything else is just an excuse isn't it. And, I think the only universal truth about excuses is that they build up till they just don't matter any more.
At what point do I not matter any more? At what point do the things I do and say not matter? And, why does it always feel so inevitable? Is it because it really is.....
I am not afraid of death, pain, or losing most any of the possessions or status that I hold. Is that weird? Fucking burn it all to the ground I say. Is it weird that I am afraid of me though, and that it keeps me up at night and freezes me sometimes.....
Do people really not see that about me? Do they pretend to be polite? Do they not imagine it possible having seen me do crazy things? Do they care? Do I?
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To link to this blog (HokieTiger) use [blog HokieTiger] in your messages.
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