the sandwitch caper
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Posted:Aug 5, 2011 9:42 pm
Last Updated:Sep 16, 2012 6:59 pm
3324 Views
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Reciently three post docs in my mates went home to china and were detained leaving me with their work. Unfortunately the work could not wait so guess who the boss picked. Yep me and the indian guy becouse every one else was in china or on vacation. He initially suggested we could do it in 7 days but we figured out that it would actually take more like 1 month working 12-14 hour shifts. Now your probaally wondering wtf does this have to do with a sandwitch...relax I am getting to it.
Obviously I was working so much that I literally went from bed to work and work to bed leaving zero time for my big date plans while the boys were gone, no time to shop and little time to eat.
So I hired someome to cook and make sandwitches for me. Ok your going to tease me but I hired my mom, she needed the money and I needed the food. And no she does not live with us. So about three weeks ago my oldest moved back home and liked the deal I had so well that he decided to hire her too. (she is an excellent cook). One day I noticed that my sandwitch seemed a bit off to say the least. I thought I tasted soap but knew it couldnt be true. Dude if I cant trust my mom who can I trust and there is no way she would put soap in my sandwitch ( I hope). So I ate it any way. It started to happen on a daily basis but only one or two bites tasted like soap. Clearly I was having paranoia!
Lo and behold my said to me one day "dad I think grandma is tring to poision me by putting soap in my sandwitch". I gave him a lecture on how he should be thankful we were getting good lunches with holemade berad and brownies but I did visit my mom and mention it to her. She was not happy but thought dad (the perfectionist) might be getting some soap on the counter after a few glasses of wine. The next day was fine but the day after it was so bad that my toung was coated with an oily substance that had me running for the toilet. My concurred that he had thrown out his as well. When I mentioned it to mom she was pissed that we thought she would be putting soap in our food.. although the thought did occur to me that it would be great payback for all those gray hair moments. We finally convinced her that perhaps the meat from the store was bad and to please seperate each part of the sandwitch into seperate bags so we could test it. Mine had it in the corned beef and lettuce. His had it in the bread and lettuce. When we told her what we found she gave us a lecture on how her house was cleaner than our man cave. Being the scientest I noted that the meat had the greatest quantity so I sampled her soap. I have not had soap in my mouth for years and the liquid stuff burns! So that eliminated the soap. ..Hmm transfer to meat must be a lipid..hand cream? Yes she put on CVS brand face cream in the morning but washed her hands so we asked her to try some gloves. Oh she was pissed! but like the great mom she is she put them on. Yeah happy sandwitches! Turns out the face cream had seperated in the bottle and the oil didnt wash off but did transfer to the food. She promised to get a different face cream. Thank goodness becouse I dont think my digestive system could take any more. Also one more request and she might have spanked me and my . Ahh the adventures in life
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redneck bungee jumping
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Posted:Jul 2, 2011 10:09 am
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 8:3 am
2483 Views
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There were 10 to 20 foot sassafras trees that used to grow at the edge of a field near my house. For those of you not familiar with this tree, they have a pleasant smell when you crush the leaves and rather smooth bark and few lower branches. One of my friends and I would both shinny up the tree, until we were near the top. Now as you might imagine when the diameter of the tree starts to decrease to a mere inch, the tree starts to shake, an experience is not for the faint of heart. You need to squeeze that tree between your legs and pull yourself along with your hands. But the tree will eventually start to bend which turns the climbing up experience to a hold on for dear life or fall off experience. The trick is continuing to advance towards the top so it bends. Once the tree has bent at a 45 degree angle you let go with your feet, if you wait too long your now looking down at the ground head first which never ended well. An additional friend grabs your legs and pulls you down until at least three people are holding the tree. A fourth friend is required to fasten a length of thick rope (about half the height of the tree in length) to the top of the tree and to a thick leather belt. Then one brave soul puts on the belt and the rest of us let go. It took two of us to bend it and three of us to hold it down, thus the tree launches the one wearing the belt skyward in a blur of color and motion. Gravity does catch up and down again you plummet where the rope catches you before you touch the ground. Now if your friends don’t grab the end of the rope dangling down well you are going to be hanging around for a while. Its thrilling until after 20 times the tree gives out. Rather hard on the belt loops as well but definately worth the effort. Both your trip and the look on your friends face or the puddle down their leg as they try it for the first time.....ah the good old days
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back again
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Posted:Jul 2, 2011 9:51 am
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 8:3 am
2410 Views
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Alas it has been a long time since I endeavored to browse Affairlook. To all my friends I hope you are well. I hope to entertain you with a few tales.
Recently I met a young lady who would smile and exchange a few word in passing me at work. One day as she was scratching her arm, as she was having a reaction to nicotine patches and thought she might be allergic to the DMSO (key ingredient in the patch). I volunteered to help her and applied a small patch of DMSO to her forearm in order to test for sensitivity to DMSO. To her surprise there was no reaction and as per my prediction it seems to be the adhesive on the patch. Since I had asked nothing in return she decided to chance a longer conversation with me about days long past. A conversation I might add that lasted for 2 hours before I walked her back to her building. From that conversation a memory of something I will label “redneck bungee jumping
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why is homosexuality unethical
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Posted:Aug 4, 2009 7:14 pm
Last Updated:Aug 4, 2009 7:16 pm
2572 Views
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I had an interesting debate with one of my conservative coworkers and of course I had to play devils advocate yet I find that I also cant answer the question. Based on the major religions it is clear that all contain statements about the non acceptance or morality of homosexuality. However such arguments do not apply to ethics where the question is the effect on society and the compliance with honesty and fairness.
Argument 1 homosexuals are a drain on society. I note without any bias that in my community live a number of gay couples who have long term partners. In particular I note that they keep their house yards neat, they are polite and they observe social rules of when not to make noise at night. In fact I rather wish I had more of them as neighbors. I therefore make the case that they do not influence society in a negative aspect and they are honest to the best of my knowledge.
of course there are exceptions to this observation but I note that heterosexual couples/ families are just as good and bad.
Argument two put forth: Homosexuality is not natural. I note that juvanile whales exibit behaviour similar to circle jerking and dolphins have been know to have long term homosexual mates and including sexual exchange. While these species are but a fraction they do represent animals in the wild not under the influence of human intervention and therefore for higher order mamals this appears to occur in nature.
Argument 3 homosexuals are promesqueous. Please! I site this site an others as proof that heterosexuals also exhibit such behaviour and cheating on ones spouse is common as a cause of divorce.
I would love to hear someone elses opinions on why homosexuality might be unethical. In fact would one of my paying friends please post such a survey such as George.
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fish in the penis
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Posted:Jun 18, 2009 8:44 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 8:3 am
2336 Views
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I thought like many people that the stories of the Candiru fish of the amazon river swimming up a penis were an urban legend. NOOOO it is not!!! I just saw a documentery (Monsters of the Amazon) in which they showed footage of the fish in a man's penis! And its not small either. It was about 4 to five inches long and about half a centameter in daimeter. Think of a cross between a leach and a minnow with teeth and a barbed head!
Immagine how bad it would be in the bladder! I wonder why there are nor reports of women having it swimming into their bladder as the fish homes in on urea.
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those darn
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Posted:Jun 12, 2009 7:17 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 8:3 am
2280 Views
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Well I've definately had some issues lately.
First I found out my was pregnant by choice according to her.
Second I kind of lost my temper during a round of paintball becouse I was already really upset and someone just had to keep shooting me even after my hands were in the air and I was yelling hit. They shot me in the wrist right where the snake bit me a few hours before that.
Third my and eldest are having a disgusting match of hiding either a clean tampon or a condem with a pin stuck in it arround the house with threats to dispense used items. Luck for me neither are home often but a cow I am having anyway.
Fourth I had to exchange my youngest with my exwife and her husband today for summer vacation and she looked pretty good. That is not good for me and they were both nice to me which means something is up.
Fifth the car and house are always falling apart
I think it is almost time to visit my friends
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Some days
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Posted:May 19, 2009 2:49 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 8:3 am
2318 Views
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Some days I wake up in a daze,
perform my ablutations, break my fast,
and notice that the sun smiles for me
or the rain dances for my pleasure.
Life swirls and I live in art novu
Hair flips in the wind
past eyes which are deep
with mystery and intrigue
Some days I only step with one foot
from dreamland into the morning,
I remember her touch,
I notice that a body pillow rests near my side,
and deep deep within I hear my soul cry.
Shhh I say those who seek too deeply never get to play
It cries back both day and night
Look around at those entwined
Do you not understand your plight?
I watch longingly at lovers passing by
to dance again in both sleep and wake
instead I feel passing time
Some days I wake from the dream
I feel like Suess’ sam I am
I could in a box, near a fox
Anywhere I can
But it not to be
And so the morning shower must suffice
Ice cold I am rendered sane for a time
perhaps some day, some day
I will share once again
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like father like
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Posted:May 12, 2009 8:29 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 8:3 am
2248 Views
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Reciently my 18 year old moved in with his new girlfriend. New being a relative term but she has been the least crazy of the gauntlet of his girlfriends. And she has always been polite. Sometimes there is just something about someone that speaks volumes.
A package arrived at my house so I opened it up and was surprised to find an anal plug with an attached blond 2 foot pony tail. When I flipped the pack over I noticed it had his name on the front so I quietly put it in my room and when I gave it to him I said " I like her better already. Not that I want her but that she has an open mind." Its funny the things that make you proud.
Run on my little one and enjoy the world for all that it is. I see genetics does run deep.
IL22
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the work place drama continues
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Posted:Apr 30, 2009 7:12 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 8:3 am
3471 Views
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Ok yesterday I ranted about this guy in my lab and some very sloppy work. Today the saga continues. Today he wanted to use my method that is working not his that didnt. Ok so I went over it with him step by step and suggested that he practice and check the integrety of his sample. I might as well have been singing junglebells out of my rear. He told me he didnt have time becouse he wanted to run samples in the next few days and therefore would skip my recomendations.
Ok so first he didnt run any controls, he didnt check the quality of his sample, and on top of all of that he insisted that he run it on the $150/hour machine that we dont own without checking it on the one that we do own for free becouse he could not afford to wait 5 minutes.
Surprise surprise, suprise it didnt work. He told the boss that he thought the reagents might be bad. But he did notice that there was a small increase over the baseline. So the boss asks me what I think.
First I mention that I had good results using 2 of the same antibodies which he borrowed from me. Then I also mentioned that the small increase over baseline was in the wrong place and therefore not relevant. Second I'm looking at the axis of the print out and I noticed that the laser was 488 wavelength not the 633nm that was required. Bingo it wont even glow at 488 so that little increase was noise just like I thought. Alright your probabally thinking laser, antibody, more greek words. Think of it as someone tells you they have jock itch and you suggest they go to the store to by some antifungal spray. Instead they go to a toy store and buy a can of silly string.
So what does the boss say? Next time you should use our machine to check it first. I love my boss!
IL22
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What is that ...oh crap
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Posted:Apr 29, 2009 6:57 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 8:3 am
2243 Views
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I just noticed that my previous post had a little sunshine face making what I thought was a wave just after asking for email adresses.
Is it just me or is he actually doing the "L" to the forehead?
I'm my own worst enemy!!!
LOL Il22
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one of those days
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Posted:Apr 29, 2009 6:53 pm
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2009 6:53 pm
3575 Views
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Did you ever have one of theose I told you so moments when you really wanted to bang a pipe over your coworkers head?
Several months ago I asked one of my coworkers to start working on a technique that he and I would use while I was working on another technique. He decided that he wouldnt use the technique afterall and therefore did not wish to invest any time working out the bugs. He did try it a couple of times and reported success although sample seemed very sparse after the technique.
About a month ago I tried the technique that he scratched down on a piece of paper. When I tried his technique it did not work. So I found another lab that did do the technique and found major discrepencies between their techniques and ours. I then used their technique with our reagents and surprise surprise it didnt work.
So I started from the beginning remaking our own reagents and checking on the results after each step. The first discovery that I made was that our samples were reduced to balls of aggrigated broken cells. Ok that explained why it looked like we had results but the percentages didnt make any sense. Second I discoved that the source of the problem was one of our reagents. Of course it was not a problem for my coworker, his worked fine.
Next we had a big discussion with the boss listening to both of us about which reagents would be best to distinguish different cells. My coworker found a reference to someone using a particular set and declared that it must be correct. I cited multiple papers that suggested that it was not well defined and that several sets should be used to infer the identity. In fact I showed a paper that suggested that his reagent labeled everything. So he bought his reagents and I kept researching the issue until I found a set to try. I also bought his set to comapre against mine.
Next I found that the timing involved was 6x too long and caused non specific labeling of an intact sample. When done correctly, I obtained the expected ratio with my reagents and his labeled everything as expected.
So once I got it working guess what? thats right he wanted me to write down the correct way to do it and borrow my reagents to do his work because he really did need to use the technique after all! Not only that but he also wanted the other technique that I worked out while he was supposed to be working on this one. GRRRRRRRR
Too bad I actually had to help him, it would have been nice to tell him to shove it.
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hmm where have I been
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Posted:Apr 27, 2009 11:38 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 8:3 am
2236 Views
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To my friends and the rest of you,
Months ago I chanced upon a poem
back when I was a silver or a gold
I know not the author but her immage remains
she spoke of mr needy and mr clingy
a love of the country....
she asked the reader
if they were all that they wanted to be
alas dear writer I am close but ever so distant
a shame we shall never meet
perhaps starcrossed lovers we might have been
a shame it is always no to be
I too hear the cries of the needy
and perchance I am not all that I can dream
for my dreams are vast
and my gift to seek for those who can not
this ardous task I shall endure
perhaps you will email me if I find the cure?
friends
Today the sun kissed my skin
angelic voices sang in my ears
I reflected on how long it has been
since I have set mine eyes upon you
or traded bad puns over beer.
But each day brings me closer to the end
although perverted to the core
I remain in search of that
elusive cure
So frolic and be merry
and kiss someone for me
and if they like it
(THEN FOR PETES SAKE SEND ME THEIR EMAI
LOL
yours IL22
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To link to this blog (rm_interlukin22) use [blog rm_interlukin22] in your messages.
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