Ramblings of the depraved.....
 
Welcome to my blog!
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
Just between you and I
Posted:Sep 26, 2016 5:20 pm
Last Updated:Oct 30, 2020 3:13 pm
199721 Views
0 Comments , 44 Pending
Date Night Panties vs Every Day Panties
Posted:Oct 30, 2020 3:42 am
Last Updated:Oct 30, 2020 9:40 pm
562 Views

Today's challenge!!

Secret_lade chose NOT to do any laundry last weekend so she is now down to just the Date Night Panties.

We all know... The Date Night Panties were not meant to be worn for every day wear. Date Night Panties were procured for just that reason...

Date Night.

Date Night Panties are lacy, and small, and designed to be worn just long enough to be seen and removed by that special someone. They were not meant for 10 hours of dealing with new people on an orientation day, or 10 hours of working with employees and coworkers as they come to you for help with everything and anything, or 10 hours of dealing with customers who are never able to find what they are looking never able find an associate help them, and always 'happy except for....".

The last thing I want be doing in front of a room full of new peeps who are already overly observant is try stealthily remove the shoe string fabric of my Date Night Panties from the folds of my nether regions as they slowly saw through my sensitive parts.

This is why we have Every Day Panties.

Every Day Panties are my force field protecting the goods! No harsh fabrics irritating the kitty and causing discomfort.... The force field keeps them out! Irritating butt floss cutting you in half as you walk from your office the next?? Not with the force field! There's ten yards of fabric there, it's not going anywhere.

So, here I sit this morning, fresh out of the shower, drinking my coffee, watching the news....

Silently cursing myself for not doing at least one load of laundry.

And, because I'm nosey like that.... I've decided create a poll see where everyone else falls on the scale.

Happy Friday!
Underwear? Who wears underwear??
I'm a dude, please, I wear boxers....
I only wear the Date Night Panties, thank you! You never KNOW what's going to happen...
What are Date Night Panties?
I have a healthy selection of both Every Day Panties and Date Night Panties. Preparation is everything!
27 Comments , 53 votes
Cheetah Print in the Office
Posted:Oct 29, 2020 11:32 am
Last Updated:Oct 29, 2020 10:51 pm
434 Views
Feeling a lil Crazy Cat Lady today....



Most of my day was spent, today, onboarding new employees for tomorrow's orientation.

Days like this are mentally draining... I manage to get people from all walks of life that possess all level of tech skill and not one of them want to listen to the words that are leaving my mouth.

From the over thinker that questions everything and anything....

"Click on that green hyperlink that says 'User Phone Set Up'."

"This link?"

Yes, that lin It is the ONLY fucking GREEN link on the entire page. Do you really have ask??

"The one that says 'User Phone Set Up'?"

Shoot now.

the know-it-all....

"Ok, I need you click the...."

Click, click, clic... pages are opening, tabs are disappearing.

"What are you doing? You need listen what I'm telling you do, I am walking you through the process and you have now logged yourself out of the system. Looks like we have start over from scratch."

Don't be surprised if I shoot you the narrowed eyes of disapproval, you deserve it.

"Oh, oops"

Yah, oops alright.....

I have say, though, nothing irritates more than the mumbler.

I can't STAND the mumbler!

What's that? You're whispering into your fucking mask as we stand six feet apart and I'm insensitive because I make you speak up and clarify yourself??

This is retail people!!

Customers are already cranky and COVID crazed... Don't give them a reason to take it out on you.

So, here I sit now, finally home... Finally relaxing... Finally getting the opportunity to bitch about the stupid new people....

Thank God it's almost Friday!
17 Comments
On Today's Episode of 'What Could Go Wrong??'
Posted:Oct 28, 2020 3:52 pm
Last Updated:Oct 29, 2020 3:06 pm
688 Views

It's official!

First it was one, then it was two, and now there are three more COVID cases at the high school in the span of one week.

All schools are closed as of tonight for cleaning and sanitizing!

The email said classes will be resuming on Monday.... I'm betting they do not!

In other news....

I managed to wear an olive for a large portion of my day today.

It was fantastic!

Even better??

I wasn't the one who noticed I had an olive dried to the exposed chest skin from my v-neck blouse.

Damn those face masks!!

Between fogged glasses and not having the ability to see below my nose anymore....

I didn't realize I had an olive dried to my chest until a customer said to me, "Honey, you got something black on ya".

Hunched over, adjusting her glasses to get a closer look.. She scrutinized my olive while I blindly tried flick it off.

" the left hun... No, left. LEFT!"

"I am going left...."

Why is she getting mad at me?? It's my boob and my olive!

"Oh, I'm sorry hun, my left."

Giving up, I just blindly swooped my hand across my chest until I felt the olive rolling against my palm.

It's an odd, disgusting feeling.....

"You got it sweetie. Thank God, I hate olives."

Yah, must have been terrible for you be forced see that olive on my chest!

I contemplated popping it in my mouth and eating it while she watched, after that comment. The look on her face would have been priceless!!

Instead I laughed and threw it in the garbage

We'll just chalk it up a Wednesday.
21 Comments
Observations from the Spawn
Posted:Oct 27, 2020 5:07 pm
Last Updated:Oct 29, 2020 3:09 pm
841 Views


"Oh My God mom! Your hair literally looks like a bird nest!!"

"Thanks! That's the look I was going for!"

Teenagers.... Can't live with them.... Can't dump them off on the gypsies....

Believe , I tried. They gave her back!
17 Comments
"She had long wavy hair and pretty blue eyes...."
Posted:Oct 27, 2020 2:24 am
Last Updated:Oct 28, 2020 5:42 pm
1000 Views

I started my day, yesterday, with a very kind message from one of my readers.

Not going to lie, it made me smile and totally made my day!

I know that my writing styles aren't going to be for everyone, but for the people that do like what I have to say, it always touches me a little when they reach out to tell me their thoughts. I often find it is the posts that I debate over the most that end up being the posts that are most memorable to others.

And, like everyone else, it feels good to receive those unsolicited comments and compliments. It kind of gives me a glimpse into their life, as well....

I was part way through my day when our Regional VP's Administrative Assistant emailed me to get the identity of our of our employees.

This happens often....

A customer is so impressed by their level of service that they reach out to corporate to relay their experience. While a customer always remembers the level of service they received, they don't always remember the name of the employee that impressed them.

I was reading through the customers written comment and I was recognizing what was being stated.

This customer had gone to our company's Faceplace page and posted this very, very kind compliment about our store and our employee with the long wavy hair and pretty blue eyes.

I was that employee.

She and her granddaughters had been in search of a certain product and when I talked to them they had already given up hope finding it. After we had parted, I decided to take the next step and search out the clearance section to see if maybe we had it tucked away somewhere in that clearance wasteland....

And we did!

I ended up hunting her down in the store and making her granddaughter's day that day! Saving her money to boot as the item was now on clearance....

I was pretty smiley when I emailed her back to let her know it was me. It's not all that often an Office Girl gets the opportunity to receive a customer compliment.

It was a feel good day yesterday.... One of those days where you feel like you kind of do make a difference in the world around you. It's days like yesterday that make up for all those terrible days when you feel invisible, and overwhelmed, and wonder why, exactly, you keep on going.
22 Comments
Death by Pumpkin Seed
Posted:Oct 26, 2020 3:53 pm
Last Updated:Oct 27, 2020 7:08 pm
1192 Views

Yes, I'm that weird freak that likes eat pumpkin seeds.

The salt.... The crisp bark texture.... The razor sharp shards of seed embedded between your teeth....

Who wouldn't LOVE eat pumpkin seeds?!?

Deputy Don carved pumpkins with his munchkin last week, roasting the seeds bring work and give away.

I was munching away on them in my office this morning when my Work BFF stopped by my office to chat.

One thing led to another and I wound up laughing my ass off, pumpkin seed debris slowly filtering into my lungs, blocking off my airways.

"Holy crap..." cough, cough, cough, "I think I inhaled a pumpkin seed!"

"Are you going to be ok?" Hard slap to my back, pretty sure I saw stars.

"Jesus, you almost slapped my mask off...." Hack, cough, gasp.

"Holy shit, drink some of this water." A half empty bottle of water appeared out of nowhere, I took a sip.

"Ugh!! Where did that come from?? I think I'm good now, I swallowed the seed."

"It was on your desk, it's yours, isn't it?"

Um, yah.... It was NOT my water. I have no idea where it even came from.

"Oh, good God... I have no idea where that water came from."

More laughter from the of us....

"If I wind up calling in sick tomorrow, you'll know why."

Here's to death by pumpkin seed and mysterious water!

Happy Monday!
20 Comments
Guess what day it is folks?
Posted:Oct 25, 2020 1:26 pm
Last Updated:Oct 27, 2020 2:31 am
1739 Views

If you said... Hangover Sunday, you are a winner!

So, yah... Did a lot of drinking Day Drinking Saturday, not going lie. Made some brownies, ate some pizza, attempted clean out my bedroom closet....

THAT was a mistake!

I only managed make a giant mess that my now hungover ass doesn't want put away.

I'll save that calamity for another day....

For now, I'll remain cocooned on my couch, wrapped in my fuzzy blanket, watching cheesy Halloween movies with the kitty while she purrs in my ear.

Happy Sunday!
21 Comments
Is that the putrid stench of death?
Posted:Oct 24, 2020 6:03 am
Last Updated:Oct 27, 2020 7:06 pm
2324 Views

There are moments in life where you begin seriously doubt your sanity....

Am I hearing things? There is nobody around me....

Did I just see that move?? I could have sworn it was sitting over there a moment ago...

Where is that God awful smell coming from??? The garbage has been taken out, the dishes are done, and I scooped the kitty box....

I was in the kitchen this morning making myself a cup of coffee when....

Inhaling deeply, I closed my eyes become one with my fresh brewed delight.... Only....

It wasn't the smell of coffee I was taking in.

"Oh My God!! What the am I smelling??"

After scouring my postage stamp sized kitchen for 20 minutes and finding nothing, I decided follow my nose.

My nose took me to the cupboard when I keep the Instapot, the crock pot, the ice cream maker, and the cookie cutters.

"Jesus Christ, what died in here??"

I pulled all out, emptying the cupboard expecting find a dead mouse.

Nothing

was when I was putting all back in that I discovered, the Instapot wasn't exactly empty.

"Oh dear God, when is the last time I used this thing??"

So I scanned the ole memory banks trying remember when I cooked in last.

Last weekend.... I made pork country ribs in and then broiled them in the oven when I got back from the gym. The Spawn had done dishes while I was at the gym so I could just turn on the oven and finish them off.

I knew immediately she didn't wash the pot.

Me - Hey!! Explain me why I nearly passed out from the smell coming from the unwashed Instapot?

Spawn - was gross. I didn't want wash .

Me - Then WHY did you let me put away knowing was still dirty????

Spawn - I was weighing my options.

Me - Weighing your options??

Spawn - By the time I get home, you won't be mad anymore.

Which brings me here and now... I feel as though I've gone battle and come back scarred. The sight from the inside of that pot will forever be burned into my memory.

But, is now clean.

I've earned my Saturday day drinking.
25 Comments
The Ball Pincher is back....
Posted:Oct 23, 2020 3:53 pm
Last Updated:Oct 24, 2020 2:07 pm
2694 Views

Today's message said...

Think u could swat a guys balls around?

Depends on what he wants me to swat them with.....

Fly swatter?

Anyway...

Looks like it's going to be another crappy, rainy weekend in. This weather is just killing me. Nothing but rain and gloom...

Sigh...

It's been a while since I got a good drunk on, I'm thinking tomorrow night sounds perfect. The Spawn will be at her dad's so I don't have to argue about what movie to watch next AND I can talk back to the TV without seeing her disapproving scowl from the corner of my eye.

Bonus!
25 Comments
5 Elements of a Successful Zoom Meeting
Posted:Oct 22, 2020 10:13 pm
Last Updated:Oct 25, 2020 1:26 am
2903 Views

1. There should always be, at minimum, four subject matter experts present the information. One expert that has literally no idea what he is presenting and three others who are completely incapable sharing their screen. This will add, at minimum, 15 minutes the length of the presentation as they chat back and forth asking whether or not we can 'see their screen'.

2. Every successful Zoom Meeting should be attended by at least 60 individuals all in various states of work. At minimum, ten of them should neglect put their computer on mute so the rest of the audience can hear them crunching on snack foods, yelling at pets and , and burping and groaning in the background.

3. At least two members of the audience should be brown nosing, attention , over achievers who want add or clarify every fucking statement made. Their web cams will be on and everyone attending the meeting will be forced watch them as they lean into their laptops 'clarifying' the subject matter expert with information the rest of us already know. They haven't made their point until the rest of us can see up their nostrils.

4. The Subject Matter Expert with the most knowledge and best understanding of the material being presented will have the most trouble with their computer. Audio will disappear, their screen will freeze, and they will lose their connection at least twice during their presentation. This presents an opening for the least knowledgeable expert to ask if anyone has any questions he can answer, then answer them all by saying "Let's put that in the parking lot and ask [missing expert] when they're back online."

5. The Zoom Call should end as haphazardly as it started. The 60 members of the audience should all simultaneously unmute their computers and ask questions at the same time. Who gives a shit about a chat function?!? The Presenters will have run out of time as the call went long and they have another one to attend for a different region of the company. The annoying woman who had been loudly crunching on chips through the whole call will have reached the end of the bag and will be pouring the crumbs into her mouth on webcam for all to see.

And, there you have it folks! The five elements of a successful Zoom Meeting.

Personally, I prefer to be the silent observer on these things.... Camera off, multi tasking, only using the chat function if and when I have questions.

Happy Zooming!
22 Comments
What's the point?
Posted:Oct 21, 2020 3:05 pm
Last Updated:Oct 22, 2020 10:28 pm
3475 Views

I don't normally complain about this stuff.

We're all on here experiencing the same stupid shit. Wanna chat with someone when you're not a Gold Star Super Fancy Premium Member, you have spend some .

It's the way it is, and I accept it. If I feel like responding a chat, I chat. It doesn't bother spend the .... If it's worth it.

Here's the part that pisses off though.

When a person initiates a chat, and you respond, SPENDING YOUR , only have them not speak another word.

Nothing.

There you sit, once comment in, 17 down the drain, and all you've managed accomplish is....

Hi

The worst part? Having it be someone you know...

I need pick better friends.
21 Comments
It's midnight, I'm awake, and it's too fucking hot in here.
Posted:Oct 20, 2020 9:44 pm
Last Updated:Oct 22, 2020 10:17 pm
3876 Views

What are three things that are currently pissing off at the moment, Alex?

I fell asleep too early tonight, I just couldn't keep my eyes open. Hell, I didn't even go to the gym tonight, I fell asleep THAT early....

You would think the rain could gently lull me back to sleep?

Maybe if I hadn't turned the heat up earlier because I was cold it wouldn't be surface of the sun hot in here right now....

So, here I sit, window cracked in my bedroom, waiting for the temp to cool off enough that I can crawl back into bed.

Middle of the night frustrations.
15 Comments

To link to this blog (secret_lade) use [blog secret_lade] in your messages.

  secret_lade 46F
46 F
October 2020
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
        1
1
2
1
3
1
4
1
5
 
6
2
7
 
8
1
9
2
10
1
11
1
12
1
13
1
14
1
15
1
16
1
17
1
18
1
19
2
20
1
21
1
22
1
23
1
24
1
25
1
26
1
27
2
28
1
29
1
30
1
31
 

Recent Visitors

Visitor Age Sex Date
ivanchy1984 36M10/31
ProfessorNaught  107M10/31
169John1150M10/31
REDHELLER2 56M10/31
jolielaide 49F10/30
easy_going2014  53M10/30
Uaniok 60M10/30
XHamburgDave 77M10/30
topherific  58M10/30
PAWAPh  44M10/30