Billings Swingers Parties
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Posted:Oct 21, 2013 2:09 pm
Last Updated:Dec 3, 2014 9:53 pm
11053 Views
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Exciting news for those in the lifestyle in Montana and Wyoming...instead of always having a different day for parties at My Friends Place now it will be the same day every month...MFP will now be open the 1st Saturday of every month.
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Lesson 14--Judge Jury and Executioner
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Posted:Apr 16, 2013 9:10 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2013 9:28 pm
17889 Views
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This was originally written for the members of My Friends Place but thought I would share it here as well since I know in our area of this big world these are huge issues.There are not many seasoned swingers or those who totally understand how it works and many who dont know how to be an adult....
Does your family know you are in the lifestyle? Do your vanilla friends? What about your co-workers? I am guessing that many of you have answered no to these questions and why exactly is that?????? Because you know that you will be judged in more then likely a negative way and you do not want to be judged for what you do. Yet many of you are sitting in judgment of others….just something to think about……
If you can not be open with family friends co-workers etc become you don’t want to be judged then how you can be judgmental of others….how many of you are judging other members of this club based on sexual orientation, body size, standing in society, income or other factors.
My Friends Place has always been known as a place that everyone can come and have fun and hang out with other people with the same interests. No one should be standing in judgment of any other member in this club unless they are one of the few whose life is an open book in the vanilla world and you are open about the lifestyle and I think very few people fit into this category.
I am not known to sugar coat anything and am not going to sugar coat this either—sorry to all those I have discussed this with but I just cant do it and no one would expect me to  .
You don’t have to like everyone in the club and don’t expect that everyone will like everyone and of course no one ever has to play with anyone they don’t want to but to treat someone poorly or talk to other about someone is just not acceptable in this club.
The biggest problem with this is bi-sexuality---we are all here to explore and have sexual adventures and everyone should be able to feel free to put this in their profile without having to worry about being judged for it. It seems to be very acceptable for women to be bi-sexual but when you bring up bisexuality with men we may as well go back to the 60’s. The truth of the matter is that we have many bi-sexual males in this club or males who are bi-curious and would like to explore but are scared to death to put it in their profile---what a fucked up situation if I do say so myself---the one thing I have found with men is that they will not “put the moves” on another man unless they know they are interested which honesty in the profiles will let people know who is and who isn’t. We have different categories in the profiles for a reason---bi-sexual lets people know that you will play with all---bi-curious lets people know that you are interested in exploring that side of life and may need a bi-sexual person to help you with that---bi-comfortable means that you do not have a problem with playing with bi-sexual people but are not interested in the same sex play---basically for men it means we can all play together but keep your hands off my junk. I have heard from a couple different folks lately that they were hooking up with another couple or trying to hook up with another couple and all was well until the other couple found our their male half was bi-sexual---when you are in the lifestyle this is kinda bullshit---like I said we all have the right to play with whomever we want but to start excluding people because of this is NOT what this club is all about. I have found that men are very respectful of other mens sexual preferences actually more then women are---I can tell you there are several men on this site who are bi-sexual or bi-curious but do not have it on their profile because of the stigma that may result and men are even afraid to put bi-comfortable on their profiles for the same reasons. Come on folks the lifestyle is no place for being judgmental or for being homophobic --- in bigger cities you would not make it in a big club with this attitude—granted we are not trying to be a big city club or have a big city attitude but we do strive to have a place where everyone can be comfortable and be themselves because the large majority of us can not do this in the vanilla world.
One of the other issues is what I will call the “Barbie and Ken” syndrome…basically coming to check things out looking for Barbie and Ken and when you don’t find them you not only walk away but you walk away and talk shit to others. We had this situation arise with the last party in Lovell a couple that thinks they are all that came in and sat at their own table and checked things out, made a comment to our bartender about those that were there that was very insulting and Tits Magee was very offended and then left. My biggest pet peave with this is that many of those looking for Barbie and Ken are not all that themselves but think they are. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and friendships are more important then looks. If you are looking for Barbie and Ken I am really sorry but they are made of plastic and we only have real folks at My Friends Place---big small or otherwise it does not matter everyone here is real and we have some great members and if you really really have issues with this then you should probably look elsewhere. Once again everyone can choose to play with whom they want but if you come in with an attitude or are fatphobic then you may not want to be here because the first person you will meet when you walk in the has that little extra padding and you will have no alternative but to talk to her and she has the attitude that people are people and you base what you think of a person on who they not what they look like or how what their standing in society is. Everyone gets the positive first impression and it remains until you give a reason to make it negative.
Quickly I also want to address the age factor because this should not be a factor in who you will or will not talk to—I will repeat that everyone is free to play with who they want to play with but do not pass judgment on someone because of their age and that includes younger and older folks equally. Basically this goes back to a lot of what I have already said in the other sections above.
There are a ton of other things that I have overheard people saying and people have talked to me about that all come down to being judgmental of others and after the situation in Lovell I just decided it was time to bring it into the spectrum. We have a really great club and some really awesome members and thought I just needed to remind everyone that you don’t like to be judged so please don’t be judging others.
I want to finish this by saying that before you think you can judge someone else take a look in the mirror and judge yourself as your family, friends or co-workers would do if you told them you were in the lifestyle. The basis of My Friends Place is to be open minded and non judgmental make some new friends and hopefully be able to explore a more sexual adventure. You can chose to play with whom you want but don’t be passing judgment on others and being disrespectful—EVERYONE at My Friends Place needs to be Respectful of EVERYONE else.
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Busy Busy
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Posted:Mar 12, 2013 11:43 am
Last Updated:May 11, 2024 10:36 am
17756 Views
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We are on a short hiatis here online with Swinging 101 as I have been very busy trying to get the workshop set up---worksbooks printed up, guest speakers scheduled etc---may end up doing this again in the future as I have a waiting list and want to give everyone an opportunity to participate. So will be back once this workshop is out of the way---have a nice break LOL
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Swinging 101 Workshop--March 16th 6pm
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Posted:Feb 14, 2013 1:55 pm
Last Updated:Nov 1, 2013 1:04 pm
18612 Views
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Please RSVP and pre-register for this workshop. You can email mskitty59101 or post here and I will contact you
March 16, 2013
My Friends Place Club in Billings, MT
6pm to 8pm
Swinging 101 Workshop
This is a must for those just starting out in the lifestyle to learn more about the lifestyle.
My Friends Place March Party featuring Speed Dating Swingers Style will follow the workshop.
Contact mskitty59101 for more information or post your questions here.
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Lesson 12 -- 10 Commandments of Swinging
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Posted:Jan 31, 2013 3:12 pm
Last Updated:Jan 31, 2013 3:13 pm
18345 Views
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[image]
10 Commandments of Swinging
1. Never attempt to break up a marriage.
2. Always keep dates unless you give ample notice of changing circumstances.
3. Always keep the first meeting on a "no strings attached" basis, but be prepared to swing if it is mutually agreeable or to give an honest answer if something doesn't click.
4. Never, under any circumstances exert pressure on a partner to swing.
5. Restrict discussions of swinging to known swingers and interested persons seeking information.
6. Protect the anonymity of other swingers by refraining from unauthorized "name dropping."
7. Always maintain the highest standards of personal cleanliness and appearance.
8. Do not engage in any unlawful activity that would discredit swingers as a group.
9. Be friendly and warm with your swing partners, but understand that there is a type of emotional involvement, which is properly reserved for a spouse or "primary significant other."
10. Always show respect for the personal attitudes, feelings and "hang-ups" of other swingers.
Printed With Permission of Original Circles
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Lesson 11--Reasons Why Couples Swing
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Posted:Jan 14, 2013 10:31 am
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2013 1:25 pm
19245 Views
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1.It’s Healthy
Swinging will show you how to have a good time without needing alcohol, although some couples enjoy being tipsy. Most swinger clubs don’t allow you to buy alcohol at the club, which means you’ll just bring your own booze and you will be having a healthy fun time without too much alcohol getting in your way, unless you load up on your own.
Not only that, but being naked in front of many different people, you’re likely going to spend a lot of time working on your figure. This means you’ll want to eat right and exercise so you can get into good shape. Recently swingers have been doing the diet and getting in shape so they look sexy for other couples. Sex takes a lot of work and depending on the person you’re having it with, you’re likely to burn some calories so make sure you can keep up.
2. You Will Both Meet Plenty of New & Interesting People
You meet a lot of people when your active in the lifestyle, whether its people that you’re going to be swinging with or friends of people you and your partner have swung with, you will form new friendships. It’s really a great to meet new people. If you go to a swingers clubs like My Friends Place, you’re going to cross path with a lot of people that have similar interests to yours and establish good friendships.
3. You Get to Dress Up
This doesn’t really sound like a reason to swing, but when you go out and you know that you are going to be having sex with a new person that evening, you’re going to spend extra time getting ready. It’s an excuse to wear your hottest dresses and your best suits. Swinging means that you’ll most likely be buying all different types of lingerie, not just for your partner but for all the potential sleeping partners you’ll have in the future.
4. You and Your Partner Will Experience & Learn New Things
When you are having sex with new people, you will learn a lot of new things from these people. What you learn, you can then teach your partner and do them together all the time. Even if you and your partner have a great sex life together, it never hurts to learn and try new things. If your partner has sex with a woman and he really enjoyed the things she did to him, you’re going to want to learn those things so you can make him feel even better.
5. You’re Doing Something Together
As strange as this sounds, swinging is a great way to bond and try new things with your partner. Instead of going out separately and cheating on one another in secret, you’ll be going out together and openly expressing your sexual desires. When you each have sex with other people, you can then sit down and openly talk about the experiences you had and that could end up as a bonding moments for you. Many people believe that swingers are estranged couples who don’t really care about one another just because they like to have sex with other people, when in reality; swingers are very close in their relationship.
Please feel free to add the reason why you decided to swing. There are many many reasons.
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Lesson 10--STD Facts
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Posted:Jan 9, 2013 9:57 am
Last Updated:May 11, 2024 10:36 am
19645 Views
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BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS (BV)
BV is the most common vaginal infection in women of reproductive age and it occurs when there is an overgrowth of certain “bad” bacteria in the vagina.
SYMPTOM OVERVIEW
BV occurs when the balance between “good” and “harmful” bacteria is thrown off. Often there are no symptoms at all, but sometimes BV is accompanied by unusual discharge, strong odor, painful urination, itching, or burning.
TREATMENT
BV can be treated with antibiotic pills, vaginal creams or suppositories. Sometimes BV will clear up on its own, but getting treatment is important to avoid complications.
CONSIDERATIONS
BV is considered a sexually associated infection, not specifically an STI. This is because it can be spread through sexual contact, but women can also get this infection unrelated to sexual activity. It is simply an imbalance in the bacteria in the vagina.
PROTECTING YOURSELF
As with all STIs, the most effective protection is to abstain from sexual activity or be monogamous with one long-term partner who has tested negative for BV. Using latex condoms or dental dams can help reduce the risk of contracting or spreading the infection. Also avoid douching, as this can remove good bacteria and make BV worse.
Type of Test
A health care provider will examine the vagina for signs of BV and take a sample of vaginal fluid to be examined under a microscope or sent to a lab for testing. Schedule the test when you are not on your period. Do not have sex, douche or use a tampon within 24 hours of your exam.
Test Timing
It depends on the lab used by your health care provider, but usually a couple of days to a week.
CHLAMYDIA
Chlamydia is one of the most common STDs and is the leading cause of preventable infertility in the United States. If left untreated, Chlamydia may also lead to pelvic inflammatory disease and the risk of ectopic pregnancy in women. Chlamydia is both treatable and preventable.
SYMPTOM OVERVIEW
Most people with Chlamydia don’t have any symptoms, but those who do might have unusual genital discharge and/or pain and burning when urinating. Women may also have lower back or abdominal pain, nausea, pain during sex, or bleeding after sex and/or between periods.
TREATMENT
Chlamydia is treated with antibiotics. Some antibiotics can cure it in just one dose, while others may need to be used for seven days. If you’ve been treated, your partner(s) should get tested and/or treated, too. And you should wait seven days or until you and your partner(s) finish the antibiotics (whichever is longer) before having sex again. This is to make sure you don’t spread the infection.
CONSIDERATIONS
Chlamydia can be spread by oral, anal or vaginal sex and cause infection in the anus, mouth or throat in addition to the penis or vagina.
PROTECTING YOURSELF
As with all STIs, the most effective protection is to abstain from sexual activity or be monogamous with one long-term partner who has tested negative for Chlamydia. Using latex condoms or dental dams can help reduce the risk of contracting or spreading the infection.
Type of Test
A urine test is the easiest way to detect Chlamydia, but women have a couple of other options. You can also have your health care provider do a cervical swab test, or you can do a vaginal swab, which can be provided by your provider.
Test Timing
It depends on the lab used by your health care provider, but usually a couple of days to a week
GONORRHEA
Gonorrhea is one of the most common STDs in the United States and can lead to infertility in men and women. It is both treatable and preventable, though scientists have discovered a new strain of gonorrhea that is resistant to all currently utilized antibiotics.
SYMPTOM OVERVIEW
Many people with gonorrhea don’t have any symptoms. Those who do might notice unusual discharge from the penis or vagina and/or pain or difficultly peeing. Men may have swelling in their testicles and women may bleed in between periods. If left untreated, gonorrhea can cause infertility without ever showing symptoms. It can also spread to the blood and joints.
TREATMENT
Gonorrhea is treated with antibiotics, usually given in a single dose. If you’re being treated, your partner should be tested too. You should also wait until you and your partner(s) finish your treatment and until your symptoms disappear (if you have them) before you start having sex again. This is to make sure you don’t spread the infection.
CONSIDERATIONS
In addition to the urethra and vagina, gonorrhea can also cause infections in the mouth, throat, eyes and anus
PROTECTING YOURSELF
As with all STIs, the most effective protection is to abstain from sexual activity or be monogamous with one long-term partner who has tested negative for gonorrhea. Using latex condoms or dental dams can help reduce the risk of contracting or spreading the infection.
Type of Test
Usually you’ll do a urine test, but some health care providers will use a swab to collect a sample.
Test Timing
It depends on the lab used by your health care provider, but usually a couple of days to a week.
HERPES
Herpes is a common STD and a lot of people who have it don’t even know. There is no cure for herpes, but there is treatment that can lessen symptoms and decrease the likelihood of passing it on to someone else.
SYMPTOM OVERVIEW
Most of the time herpes doesn’t cause any symptoms. When there are signs, they can include blisters around the genitals or anus. The first outbreak of sores is usually the worst. A person with herpes may have additional outbreaks of sores weeks or months after the first outbreak. These additional outbreaks are less severe, heal faster and occur less often over time.
TREATMENT
There is no cure for herpes, but there are antiviral medications that can shorten and prevent outbreaks of sores as long as the person continues the medication. Taking this medicine every day can reduce the risk of passing the virus to a partner.
CONSIDERATIONS
Condoms can help reduce the risk of passing herpes from one person to another, but they are not 100% effective. If you or your partner is having an outbreak of sores, you should abstain until they are fully healed. It is much easier to pass or catch the virus when sores are present.
PROTECTING YOURSELF
As with all STIs, the most effective protection is to abstain from sexual activity or be monogamous with one long-term partner who has tested negative for herpes. Using latex condoms or dental dams can help reduce the risk of contracting or spreading the infection. But because herpes is spread through skin-to-skin contact, condoms do not fully protect against the spread of the virus.
Type of Test
If you have an outbreak of sores, a health care provider can usually diagnose herpes by looking at the sores. To be sure, the provider can also take a swab sample and test it in a lab. If you are between outbreaks or think you might have been exposed but don’t have symptoms, a health care provider can do a blood test.
Test Timing
If sores are present, diagnosis can happen at your appointment. If they have to take a sample from a sore or they do a blood test, it may take a couple of days to a week for the results.
HUMAN PAPILLOMAVIRUS (HPV) AND GENITAL WARTS
HPV is the most common STD and at least 50% of sexually active people will get it at some time in their lives. The body usually clears HPV on its own without causing any problems, but HPV can lead to certain kinds of cancer.
SYMPTOM OVERVIEW
There are more than 100 different types of HPV. Most of the time there are no symptoms and the virus clears on its own, but several types can cause genital warts or lead to vaginal, anal, throat and cervical cancer. The types of HPV that cause warts do not cause cancer, but they can indicate a higher risk for having the types of HPV that are linked to cancer. The types of HPV that can cause cancer do not show any signs.
TREATMENT
The body will usually clear HPV infections on its own within a couple of months. Warts can be treated in several different ways:
1. Patient can apply creams, gels, and solutions (prescribed by health care provider)
2. A health care provider can freeze them off with liquid nitrogen
3. A health care provider can burn them off with trichloroacetic acid or bichloroacetic acid
4. A health care provider can apply a tincture or ointment that will remove the warts
5. A health care provider can cut off the warts using a scalpel, scissors, curette or electro-surgery
All of these options may take multiple treatments to completely remove warts.
Cancer-causing HPV can be monitored in females through regular Pap tests, but there is no specific treatment to eliminate HPV from the body. If the HPV causes abnormal cells to form, a health care provider will likely remove the cells and biopsy them. Depending on the type of abnormalities, the provider may recommend a colposcopy (a special exam that magnifies the walls of the vagina and cervix) or LEEP (a procedure to remove the abnormal cells before they can cause cancer).
CONSIDERATIONS
HPV is extremely common and there is no general test for the virus’ many forms. Although there is no cure, the body will usually clear the HPV infection on its own.
PROTECTING YOURSELF
As with all STIs, the most effective protection is to abstain from sexual activity or be monogamous with one long-term partner who is not infected with HPV. There is a vaccine that can prevent most types of HPV that cause genital warts and lead to cancer in males and females.
For women, regular Pap tests can detect HPV and abnormal cells before cancer can form. Using latex condoms or dental dams can help reduce the risk of contracting or spreading the infection. But because HPV is spread through skin-to-skin contact, condoms do not fully protect against the spread of the virus.
Type of Test
Genital warts are typically diagnosed through a visual examination. Your health care provider may apply a weak vinegar solution because the acidity will make the warts turn white and become more visible. The cancer-causing types of HPV can be diagnosed through a sample taken during a Pap test. There is no general test for HPV.
Test Timing
If warts are present, they can be diagnosed immediately through a visual inspection. HPV results associated with a Pap test will likely be available with the Pap results, usually within a week
TRICHOMONIASIS
Trichomoniasis is the most common curable STI. Millions of people are infected each year in the United States.
SYMPTOM OVERVIEW
Signs in women include excessive, frothy, yellowish or greenish vaginal discharge. There may also be swelling of the vulva and labia along with painful urination. Symptoms in men may include painful urination with lesions on the penis, but most men with trichomoniasis will have no symptoms.
TREATMENT
Trichomoniasis can be treated and cured with antibiotics. It is extremely important to treat partners of anyone with trichomoniasis because reinfection is very common.
CONSIDERATIONS
Avoid drinking alcohol until 24–48 hours after finishing treatment (depending on the type of antibiotic prescribed). Trichomoniasis has been linked to an increased risk of HIV acquisition.
PROTECTING YOURSELF
As with all STIs, the most effective protection is to abstain from sexual activity or be monogamous with one long-term partner who has tested negative for trichomoniasis. Latex condoms can help reduce the risk of contracting or spreading the infection.
Type of Test
Testing involves having a health care provider take a swab sample from the infected area to examine under a microscope or send to a lab.
Test Timing
It depends on the lab used by your health care provider, but usually a couple of days to a week. If your test is positive, you may be asked to come back for another test in a few months
CHANCROID
Chancroid is a bacterial STI that is only spread through sexual contact. It causes painful ulcers or sores in the genital region.
SYMPTOM OVERVIEW
Women with chancroid often have no symptoms. Men will usually have a painful, erosive ulcer with ragged edges somewhere on the penis. Tissue around the sores can die and lead to more serious infection if not treated.
TREATMENT
Chancroid can be treated with antibiotics. Severe ulcers may need to be drained or dead skin may need to be removed to prevent further, more serious infection.
CONSIDERATIONS
Chancroid is not very common in the United States and is most often seen among commercial sex workers or their sex partners/.
PROTECTING YOURSELF
As with all STIs, the most effective protection is to abstain from sexual activity or be monogamous with one long-term partner who has tested negative for chancroid. Using latex condoms or dental dams can help reduce the risk of contracting or spreading the infection. But because chancroid is spread through skin-to-skin contact, condoms do not fully protect against the spread of the bacteria.
Type of Test
In order to diagnose chancroid, a health care professional will examine the ulcer using a special type of microscope, or a sample can be taken and cultured.
Test Timing
It depends on the lab used by your health care provider, but usually a couple of days to a week.
HEPATITIS
There are three different kinds of hepatitis, some of which are spread more easily than others. Hepatitis A, B and C can all be transmitted sexually, however hepatitis B is the type most likely to be sexually transmitted. All types of hepatitis are serious and affect the liver. Hepatitis B and C are the leading cause of liver cancer and are the most common reason for liver transplants.
Hepatitis A (HAV)
SYMPTOM OVERVIEW
Most HAV infections will cause symptoms including fatigue, loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting, headache, fever, dark urine, jaundice and liver enlargement and tenderness.
TREATMENT
There are no specific cures for HAV or HBV. There are vaccines available and post-exposure prophylaxis can help prevent infection. There are also medications and treatments that can help lessen the symptoms.
CONSIDERATIONS
HAV is spread through fecal contamination, meaning that it can be spread through anal sex. HAV can also be spread by people preparing or eating food after going to the bathroom and not washing their hands.
PROTECTING YOURSELF
As with all STIs, the most effective protection is to abstain from sexual activity or be monogamous with one long-term partner who has tested negative for hepatitis. The most effective way to protect yourself from HAV and HBV is to get vaccinated. The vaccines are given in either a series of two shots or three shots (depending on the vaccine) over a six-to-twelve-month period. There is a vaccine available for adults that protects against both HAV and HBV that requires a series of three shots over the course of six months. Latex condoms can also reduce your risk.
Hepatitis B (HBV)
SYMPTOM OVERVIEW
Many HBV infections will not cause any symptoms. If symptoms are present, they may include joint pain, skin eruptions, a hive-like rash, fatigue, loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting, headache, fever, dark urine, jaundice, and liver enlargement and tenderness.
TREATMENT
There are no specific cures for HAV or HBV. There are vaccines available and post-exposure prophylaxis can help prevent infection. There are also medications and treatments that can help lessen the symptoms.
CONSIDERATIONS
HBV is spread through blood and other bodily fluids like pus, semen, vaginal secretions and saliva.
PROTECTING YOURSELF
As with all STIs, the most effective protection is to abstain from sexual activity or be monogamous with one long-term partner who has tested negative for hepatitis. There is no vaccine for HCV. Do not share needles (including those used for piercing or tattooing) or razors. Latex condoms can also reduce the risk of sexual transmission.
Hepatitis C (HCV)
SYMPTOM OVERVIEW
Most HCV infections do not cause symptoms, but will occasionally cause fatigue, loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting, headache, fever, dark urine, jaundice or liver enlargement and tenderness.
TREATMENT
There is no specific cure for HCV, nor is there a vaccine available. But there are medications and treatments that can help lessen the symptoms.
CONSIDERATIONS
HCV is spread primarily through blood. It has been detected in other bodily fluids, but transmission usually occurs when there is some kind of blood exchange. HCV is typically spread by needle sharing, but can be spread through sex if blood or bloody secretions are present.
PROTECTING YOURSELF
As with all STIs, the most effective protection is to abstain from sexual activity or be monogamous with one long-term partner who has tested negative for hepatitis. There is no vaccine for HCV. Do not share needles (including those used for piercing or tattooing) or razors. Latex condoms can also reduce the risk of sexual transmission.
Type of Test
A blood test is the only way to detect hepatitis.
Test Timing
Tests may not pick up the disease until symptoms are present for any type of hepatitis. The test itself must be run in a lab and will take a couple of days to a week to get results.
HIV/AIDS
The Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV), the virus that causes Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS), is transmitted by blood and body fluids.
SYMPTOM OVERVIEW
Most HIV infections do not have any symptoms. A person infected with HIV can remain healthy and symptom-free for many years. If HIV leads to AIDS, serious symptoms can develop and can ultimately lead to death. Signs and symptoms may include everything from fever and rashes to lesions, soaking night sweats and blurred vision.
TREATMENT
There is no cure for HIV, but there are treatment options that allow HIV-positive individuals to live long, healthy lives. If someone is exposed to HIV, or thinks he or she may have been exposed, there is a post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) that can reduce the likelihood of HIV infection occurring. PEP is medication that should be started as quickly as possible, no later than 72 hours after the exposure.
CONSIDERATIONS
Although treatment options have improved greatly in recent years, HIV remains a very serious threat. Many people are unaware of their status until later stages, but unfortunately people are the most contagious soon after becoming infected. Being infected with other STIs can make you more susceptible to HIV.
PROTECTING YOURSELF
As with all STIs, the most effective protection is to abstain from sexual activity or be monogamous with one long-term partner who has tested negative for HIV. Latex condoms can help reduce the risk of contracting or spreading the infection. In addition to sex, HIV can be transmitted through any one of the following: the process of delivering a baby, breastfeeding if the mother is infected, and sharing needles.
Type of Test
There are a couple of different tests for HIV. The best option is a blood test. A rapid test can also be done using either blood or a swab from the inside of the cheek. Usually, if the initial test is positive, it will be followed up with a more sensitive blood test to confirm the results.
Test Timing
Rapid tests take about 15–20 minutes, while a blood test sent to the lab will take up to a week to get results. If HIV is contracted, it can take three weeks to up to six months for any test to detect HIV.
LYMPHOGRANULOMA VENEREUM (LGV)
LGV is not very common in the United States and is most often seen in individuals who have had unprotected receptive anal sex.
SYMPTOM OVERVIEW
The first sign of LGV is a small painless ulcer at the point of infection—it may be so small, in fact, that it goes unnoticed. Swollen lymph nodes are the most common sign and usually appear a week to month later. Stiffness and aching in the groin may also occur.
TREATMENT
LGV can be treated with a three-week course of antibiotics.
CONSIDERATIONS
If you or your partner is diagnosed with LGV, you should abstain from sex until your treatment is complete and all symptoms disappear to avoid reinfection.
PROTECTING YOURSELF
As with all STIs, the most effective protection is to abstain from sexual activity or be monogamous with one long-term partner who has tested negative for LGV. Using latex condoms, particularly for anal sex, can help reduce the risk of contracting or spreading the infection.
Type of Test
LGV can be difficult to diagnose because many of the symptoms are similar to other infections. Most diagnoses are made based on health center observations, but samples can be taken from lesions or sores and tested for the bacteria.
Test Timing
It depends on the lab used by your health care provider, but usually a couple of days to a week.
MOLLUSCUM CONTAGIOSUM
Molluscum contagiosum is caused by a virus that can be spread sexually and by non-sexual contact through contaminated objects like towels, clothing or sex toys.
SYMPTOM OVERVIEW
Symptoms include shiny, smooth, white, dimpled bumps, with a curd-like core and itching on the genitals and trunk area.
TREATMENT
Molluscum contagiosum will usually go away on its own within a year without treatment. The bumps can be removed by a health care provider in a number of different ways, which is usually done only when there are ten or fewer lesions.
CONSIDERATIONS
Sometimes molluscum contagiosum can lead to a more serious infection such as staphylococcus, so lesions should be monitored for signs of infection.
PROTECTING YOURSELF
As with all STIs, the most effective protection is to abstain from sexual activity or be monogamous with one long-term partner who does not have molluscum contagiosum or any other STI. Using latex condoms can help reduce the risk of contracting or spreading the infection. But because molluscum contagiosum can be spread by other means, condoms do not fully protect against spreading the virus.
Type of Test
Molluscum contagiosum is diagnosed based on visual examination. Samples of the bumps may be examined under a microscope to detect the virus.
Test Timing
Since no lab test is required, diagnosis will occur during an exam
MUCOPURULENT CERVICITIS (MPC)
MPC is caused by Chlamydia, gonorrhea or other STIs, and can lead to PID if left untreated.
SYMPTOM OVERVIEW
Although MPC sometimes comes with no signs or symptoms, for women it can cause bleeding during or after sex, unusual vaginal discharge, spotting between periods, lower abdominal pain or pain during sex.
TREATMENT
Depending on symptoms and the results of other STI tests, there are several different kinds of antibiotics that might be prescribed to treat MPC. Even after treatment, you may be asked to schedule a follow-up to make sure the infection is totally cleared up and there is no risk of getting PID later.
CONSIDERATIONS
Avoid douching because it can actually hide the symptoms of MPC making it harder to diagnose and treat.
PROTECTING YOURSELF
As with all STIs, the most effective protection is to abstain from sexual activity or be monogamous with one long-term partner who does not have MPC or any other STI. Using latex condoms can help reduce the risk of contracting or spreading the infection.
Type of Test
There is no specific test for MPC, but a health care provider can diagnose the infection based on symptoms and a visual examination of a patient’s genitals. The provider will look for white blood cells or pus, which may indicate MPC. Because MPC can be caused by other STIs, a health care provider will probably test for Chlamydia, gonorrhea or other infections based on a patient’s sexual history and symptoms.
Test Timing
Since no lab test is required, diagnosis will occur during an exam. However, if a health care provider wants to test for other STIs, which is likely, it may be a couple of days to a week for the results.
PELVIC INFLAMMATORY DISEASE (PID)
PID can be caused by many different bacteria, including Chlamydia and gonorrhea. It occurs when these bacteria move up from the vagina or cervix into the uterus and other reproductive organs.
SYMPTOM OVERVIEW
Many women with PID don’t have any symptoms at all. If they do have symptoms, they may include abdominal, cervical or uterine pain or tenderness, along with fever or chills. Symptoms of PID usually occur in the first five to ten days of a woman’s menstrual cycle.
TREATMENT
Numerous bacteria can cause PID, so it is treated with a combination of antibiotics. Depending on the severity of symptoms, antibiotics may be given through an IV or orally. Some PID infections may require hospitalization.
CONSIDERATIONS
If left untreated, PID can have potentially life-threatening complications, including ectopic pregnancy and pelvic abscess. It can also lead to infertility, chronic abdominal pain, pelvic scar tissue, premature hysterectomy and depression.
PROTECTING YOURSELF
As with all STIs, the most effective protection is to abstain from sexual activity or be monogamous with one long-term partner who has tested negative for genital bacterial infections associated with PID in females. Latex condoms can help reduce the risk of contracting or spreading the infections that lead to PID.
Type of Test
Diagnosis is usually based on the presence of typical symptoms when other serious conditions (like appendicitis or ectopic pregnancy) can be excluded. In rare cases, a health care provider may use a laparoscope to view the fallopian tubes to confirm inflammation.
Test Timing
Because diagnosis is based on symptoms and patient history, there is no specific timing for test results.
PUBIC “CRAB” LICE
Pubic or “crab” lice are parasitic insects that survive by feeding on human blood. Pubic lice are different parasites than head or body lice and are usually found in the pubic hair, but can also be found in other course body hair like eyebrows, beard, chest or armpit hair.
SYMPTOM OVERVIEW
Pubic lice can cause itching, blue spots and sores in the infected area. It may also be possible to see grey-white lice or hair nits (the egg form of pubic lice).
TREATMENT
Prescription or over-the-counter shampoos or solutions can be used to treat pubic lice. In addition to treating the lice, clothing and bedding should be washed in hot water and dried in a dryer or dry cleaned. It is not necessary to fumigate living quarters.
CONSIDERATIONS
Although pubic lice are most commonly spread through sexual contact, they can be spread through sharing clothing or bedding with someone who has pubic lice. They are not spread by cats, dogs or other animals.
PROTECTING YOURSELF
As with all STIs, the most effective protection is to abstain from sexual activity or be monogamous with one long-term partner who does not have pubic lice. Condoms do not protect against infection.
Type of Test
The test for pubic lice is a visual examination. Your health care provider will usually remove a hair or a few hairs with nits to examine under a microscope.
Test Timing
Nits take about one week to hatch and two weeks for mature lice to appear. Testing can be done immediately during an exam. It is a good idea to have a follow up appointment after being treated for lice to make sure they are all gone
SCABIES
Scabies are parasites that infect the skin and cause really intense itching. Scabies are transferred by skin-to-skin contact and can occur anywhere on the body. This means that while scabies can be passed through sexual contact, it is usually passed through non-sexual skin-to-skin contact.
SYMPTOM OVERVIEW
Scabies causes intense itching and a pimply rash. The itching will often be worse at night than during the day. Itching and rash most often show up on the penis, buttocks, wrist, nipples, waist, shoulder blades, arm pits, elbows and between the fingers, but it is not limited to these areas. Sometimes scabies might also result in tiny burrows in the skin caused by the female mites tunneling beneath the skin. If a person has scabies for the first time, it will usually take 2-6 weeks for symptoms to start appearing. For those who have had scabies before, symptoms can occur in as little as 24 hours. It is important to know that even when symptoms are not present, scabies can still spread.
TREATMENT
Prescription creams called scabicides can be used to treat scabies. These creams kill the mites and some also kill the eggs. The cream will be applied to the skin from the neck down to the toes and washed off after 8-14 hours. There is also an antibiotic that can be taken by mouth in a single dose, followed by another single dose two weeks later.
Because scabies are so easy to pass from one person to another any sexual partners and close personal or household contacts should be examined and treated. Bedding and clothing must also be decontaminated by machine washing and drying on hot cycle or dry cleaning. Removing from body contact for at least 72 hours will also ensure that the mites can’t be transmitted.
CONSIDERATIONS
Although scabies is most commonly spread through skin-to-skin contact, it can be spread through sexual contact with someone who has scabies.
PROTECTING YOURSELF
As with all STIs, the most effective protection is to abstain from sexual activity or be monogamous with one long-term partner who does not have scabies. Condoms do not protect against infection.
Type of Test
The test for scabies is a visual examination. Most of the time, a diagnosis can be made based on history of exposure to scabies or the presence of common symptoms like a rash and itching that gets worse at night. A health care provider might also take a scraping of this infected skin to examine under a microscope to look for mites, eggs, larvae or feces.
Test Timing
Diagnosis is difficult if symptoms are not present. If a person has scabies for the first time, it will usually take 2-6 weeks for symptoms to start to appear. For those who have had scabies before, symptoms can occur in as little as 24 hours.
SYPHILIS
Syphilis is spread by contact with open sores (usually during sex). If left untreated it can cause serious health problems, including brain and nervous system damage, blood infection and even death. If early action is taken, syphilis can be cured with antibiotics. Syphilis prevalence is growing in the United States, particularly among men who have sex with men.
SYMPTOM OVERVIEW
Early signs may include a small, painless, firm sore in or around the vagina, penis, mouth or anus. This can be followed by rash on the body that is particularly noticeable on the palms of the hands or soles of the feet. Other, less common signs and symptoms may include fever, swollen lymph glands, sore throat, patchy hair loss, headaches, weight loss, muscle aches, and fatigue.
TREATMENT
Early-diagnosed syphilis can be treated and cured easily with an injection of penicillin (preferred) or 14 days of antibiotics (for patients allergic to penicillin). For people who have syphilis that was undiagnosed for more than one year, it can be treated and cured with a longer course of stronger antibiotics (an injection once a week for three weeks).
CONSIDERATIONS
If a pregnant women contracts syphilis, it can lead to the death of the fetus. Syphilis can be spread through oral, vaginal and anal sex with sores being present on the lips, mouth and anus in addition to the genitals.
PROTECTING YOURSELF
As with all STIs, the most effective protection is to abstain from sexual activity or be monogamous with one long-term partner who has tested negative for syphilis. Latex condoms can help reduce the risk of contracting or spreading the infection.
Type of Test
The test used for diagnosis will depend on what symptoms are present and how much time has passed since exposure. Syphilis can be diagnosed by blood test, or by examining a sample from a sore. If no symptoms are present, these tests may not be able to identify a syphilis infection.
Test Timing
It depends on the lab used by your health care provider, but usually a couple of days to a week.
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2013 Swingers Horoscope
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Posted:Jan 3, 2013 1:37 pm
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2013 9:03 am
19591 Views
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Courtesy of Mike H.
If you are in to astrology, then you will appreciate your swinger horoscope, first thought up by Mike H. This took quite a bit of time to put together so I hope everyone appreciates it. Simply scroll down and view your sign and make sure you tell all our friends where they can find it.
ARIES
Aries are immediately drawn to their own independent and fearless spirit. The Aries wants to be chased and expects others to be all too happy to oblige. A love match with an Aries can be perfect. The potential problem with this relationship is that Aries is an impatient, selfish soul. They are so busy pursuing their own desires they forget it takes two to tango. The dating game can turn into a battle over who is number one! As long as these two have separate time to be individuals they’ll have little trouble keeping the fire burning in a relationship. And of course, you can count on some passionate sex!
TAURUS
Taurus will party, play and be very good friends with other swingers. There is much to be learned from one another. They will have similar ideas and share much in common. Taurus is instantly attracted to outgoing couples. Taurus will stick with their partner through good times and bad. Taurus also finds their partner’s independence very attractive. This is a highly rewarding combination that has both long and short term potential. Before they know it, they could fall madly in love. Taurus is serious and sensual. Swingers consider Taurus a keeper and friendship will always be evident long after the attraction has ended. You will learn more about yourselves in this relationship. It’s worth the insight.
GEMINI
Gemini is drawn to sex appeal. Ruled by Mercury, Gemini has both beauty and brains and swingers find this a huge turn on. Gemini is witty and can make others laugh which is another bonus. Partners are turned on by the challenge of the mysterious Gemini. Gemini thinks their partner is the best looking lover they have ever had. There is great sex potential and long-term possibility. To make this work, partners should provide Gemini lots of freedom and space. The partner will need to keep his or her sense of humor on at all times. Gemini should remain a mystery to their partner for best results. Sex will be hot. Love will be very possible. Gemini is the most sought after sign in the zodiac for their adaptability and cunning style in all they partake.
CANCER
This is an interesting combination that works out more than most people would think. Many sexual relationships and love affairs occur when nurturing Cancer meets sexy and ultra confident people. Sparks fly when Cancer gives others the encouragement and adoration they need. Others see both a future and a family in Cancer and cannot help but admire their sensuality and loyalty to others. The future will be paved with an intense sexual attraction and enough healthy challenges to keep both mentally and physically satisfied. It is highly possible for these two to form a long-term relationship. Together they will gain prestige and could make a fortune. Both will need to tone down aggressiveness because both will display emotional confrontations if neglected.
LEO
Partners need to give Leo the royal treatment and vice versa. If you are looking for a satisfying sex life, look no further. Both partners can match each other’s intensity and they will share strong compatibility in and out of the bedroom. The prognosis is very good for sex and very possible for marriage.
VIRGO
Others will communicate well with Virgo and they will understand one another instantly. Partners will adore Virgo’s intelligence. Virgo will want to immediately seduce their partner. Attraction heats up quickly and a romantic relationship could follow. Virgo is a huge turn on for sexually intense couples. Sexual and romantic compatibility will be mutually satisfying. Family matters and loyalty will keep these two together. Partners must not play any head games with Virgo or there will be a price to pay. Virgo needs to keep their partner grounded so both can be happy. The attraction between them will be strong enough to survive any emotional storm.
LIBRA
Libra is ruled by Venus and is exceptionally attractive to their partner. Libra’s effortless beauty and social graces are what partners secretly desire. Partners will share lots of laughter together and go to the hottest parties. It will seem like a constant party. The partner provides substance and intensity to Libra. The attraction could lead to marriage. Libra could find their partner’s aggressiveness a bit extreme for their taste. Give each other space and both can survive the rough waters. This relationship gets better over time. The potential for sex is very promising. Libra will help their partner get a makeover and perhaps a home as well. Aspects are great for marriage. Family issues will dominate over time.
SCORPIO
When Scorpio first meet their partner, both are dazzled and surprised by the sexual chemistry and sensual compatibility they share. There will be intense sexual attraction, challenge and every so often, love can result. Scorpio likes privacy with a lover while they enjoy their partner to go public with love. This is one area that could pose a problem. If Scorpio exercises his or her social graces and polishes up on people skills, the partner could fall hard or be enjoyed by becoming a cuckold/cuckoldress.
SAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius will be drawn to a partner’s intensity and wild side. Both love to play with fire and neither will mind using flattery to get sex. They get along great as friends and lovers and a mutually strong attraction can and will lead to a long-term love relationship. A love of the good life and lots of laughter will be experienced together. and animals will be involved in this relationship. Both have met someone that matches their stamina, in and out of the bedroom. Sex could be explosive and will be a reason to keep coming back to one another. They are a powerful combination and friends will maintain that each of them has met the right person. There is such a thing called love.
CAPRICORN
Capricorn is fascinated with the fiery passion within their partner and there is potential for a lasting love here. Hard work and discipline will ultimately play an important role in bonding them to each other. Hidden agendas and manipulation do not exist in the land of Capricorn. Keep jealousy and games out of the picture or lose Capricorn forever. Capricorn gets better with age and is very much attracted to a prestigious lifestyle.
AQUAUARIUS
This can be a very challenging and exciting relationship. The partner and Aquarius are an interesting combination of passion, friendship and sexuality. There will never be dull moments when these two are together and they will experience many memorable moments with their friends and family close by. Social groups and events will keep the relationship stimulating. Both need independence and share similar creative abilities.
PISCES
Pisces are sensitive, theatrical and sensual. Their partners see fun and fantasy in Pisces. There is chemistry and sexual attraction that may initially start out as a friendship, but could progress to romance over time as long as both are single. These two will entertain and share a powerful effect in public together. Their partners’ initiative combined with Pisces talent is the perfect component for public applause. Partners may get irritated with Pisces go with the flow approach to money and love. Partners may need immediate gratification in sexual matters while Pisces will wait patiently for the right person. Partners could get bogged down in heavy emotions and may want to flee via the nearest exit. Arguments relating to home, family and money will arise over time. For this to work both should have outside interests and not spend too much quality time together.
I hope you have enjoyed the swinger horoscope and wish you all a safe and happy 2013.
If you liked this and would like to know more about where you can find more from Mike H. contact mfphbic and I will get you all the info you need.
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Lesson 8--Who are Swingers?
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Posted:Jan 3, 2013 11:46 am
Last Updated:May 11, 2024 10:36 am
19350 Views
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You probably see a swinger everyday, only you don't see them. Chances are that your neighbor, an associate at work or even a family member is a swinger. The sexually free are found in every community, and within every demographic. The "lifestyle" is growing and reaching new levels all the time.
Only a few years ago, before the Internet era, swingers were essentially a secret society, meeting each other through dating magazines purchased at adult bookstores. Because of that, it was difficult to even guess at how many swingers there were. On the other hand, we can make fairly good estimates based on information coming from a variety of sources (including the Internet).
In the past, meeting another couple often took weeks of mailing photos and writing letters before the meeting actually took place. If you lucked out and happened to live near a swingers club, it probably wasn't a very attractive or "upscale" place.
Today, the "lifestyle" is evolving and becoming more mainstream. As the quality of swinger events, websites and clubs improves, more people are willing to join the fun.
The internet "lifestyle" dating websites have proven to be an invaluable tool for couples and singles looking to find like-minded adults. Whether you're looking for something voyeuristic or a full-blown orgy, you can find it online. Looking for a gang-bang, or some bi fun? You can find it online.
Numerous studies and polls give widely varying results on how many swingers there really are. However, it's pretty safe to assume that no less than one-half of a percent of the U.S.
population is actively involved in some sort of sexual activity that falls into the general category of swinging. Most likely, the percentage is much greater. As knowledge and freedom expand, so will the numbers that participate. Even given the low estimates of half a percent that equals 1.5 million in the U.S. alone, or about 1 out of every 100 people of a sexually active age. Many swingers, especially females, are active in the "lifestyle" due to bisexual curiosity. The man at the grocery store who looked your wife up and down may not just be thinking about her being naked - he may be thinking about her being naked with his wife. While most swinging is about two couples sharing fun and swapping partners, many swingers regularly participate in threesomes. Virtually all men fantasize about having two girls, and many women admit to fantasizing about sex with two men. Whether it's same room sex, a threesome or even an orgy, many sexual activities are included. At a minimum these studies indicate that a lot of people are receptive to the idea of swinging.
As each generation enters sexual maturity, with less sexually repressed attitudes, they are increasingly willing to experiment. Just as it has become more socially acceptable to be gay or lesbian, sexual attitudes toward bisexuals and partner swapping are also changing. The taboo that society places on everything it categorizes as "out of the norm" has kept both homosexuals and swingers in the closet. But today it almost seems cool to be Gay. Perhaps in a few years, it will be the "in thing" to be a swinger.
Given the thousands of swinger clubs, resorts, conventions, websites, private parties and related events, it's easy to agree that swingers are everywhere. As information becomes more freely available via the Internet, more and more couples talk about it and decide to give it a try. In the past it was quite difficult and time consuming to meet like-minded people using the
magazines gleaned from the adult bookstores and that made it easy to give up. With the Internet, you're only a few clicks away from finding thousands of swingers who are just what you're looking for. Even if you enter a distance range, age range and other basic criteria, here are still too many results to consider. Narrow that search down and you've found several perfect matches that are only a few miles away. Looking for a couple with a bisexual female, between 35 and 40, within 20 miles? It's easy to find hundreds of them on the Internet.
Additionally, "lifestyle" clubs are evolving, becoming more elegant and attracting a broader range of people. Frequently, people in the "lifestyle" attend a party or club and run into someone they know from work or some other social activity. Most swingers have a story about just such an occurrence. It usually goes something like this: "My wife and I go to swinger's parties often and one party we went to was great until our neighbor and his wife walked in. I was shocked and concerned that the whole neighborhood would find out. After I got over the initial shock, I realized that my neighbor was thinking the same thing. Of course neither of us told anyone, and we're now great friends as well as neighbors."People in the "lifestyle" don't often talk about their "lifestyle" to others. All seem to be very aware of the unwritten rules of privacy. For that reason, you can feel pretty secure that you won't be ratted out; we're all in
the "lifestyle" together. It almost seems like swingers develop the same sort of "radar" that says are supposed to have. You start to pick up on things that others don't notice: the couple at the local night club dancing a little too close, or a bit too risqué. Or maybe it's the couple at the coffee house where the female is wearing something way too sexy for a coffee house --
especially on a Tuesday. What about the two couples you've seen, and then you can't figure out which of the males and females are together? Have you seen a neighbor walking from the front door to the car, wearing a long overcoat, in August? Maybe she's wearing something a bit too sexy under that coat. I've begun to notice some couples' reaction when a sexy lady walks by at the local pizza place. It's very interesting to see when they both turn to watch as she walks away. That's a pretty big clue. Yes, swingers are everywhere, and if you look, you'll see them. A few careful questions later, you'll be able to confirm that they are, in fact, swingers.
Living in the conservative community we are in there are limited things for people in the "lifestyle" to do. Unlike other areas that have several swingers clubs in the area we are limited to one club location in Billings My Friends Place and one house party group which does house parties out of Bozeman, Thumpers Socials. Even with the limited choices available there are plenty of people in the "lifestyle" in the area. Those interested in the "lifestyle" who develop enough courage to investigate beyond the curiosity stage are often surprised when they discover how easy it is to find swingers so close to them. Those new to the "lifestyle" often find that their reconceptions about the "lifestyle" were way off. Swingers are not the middle-aged, overweight 1960's rejects as the stereotype suggests. They are normal people, the same people you see everywhere. They go to the grocery store, to the baseball game and to the movies. Swingers are not sexually deviant and perverse. They simply enjoy their sexuality and are more open about it than most.
As the taboo of swinging starts to lift, people begin to realize it is a "lifestyle" that allows them to define their own rules and have a good time without being judged. At a club or "lifestyle" event you can dance however you want to, say whatever you feel, watch the sexy girls or most anything - without concern for "what other people think." The best part of it all is that most of the neighbors you encounter will have similar rules or are at least willing to abide by whatever rules you have set for yourself. Of course, if you want to party wildly and have sex with almost anyone (as the stereotype suggests) there are plenty of people to play with. If, on the other hand, you prefer friendship at first or only touching and fondling, there are plenty willing to do that as well. If you want to go out for dinner with a couple, maybe dance and drink, that's fine. Then if sparks begin to ignite you take it all the way. Many people may be interested in the "lifestyle" but have never done anything of the sort before. If they only knew you were in the "lifestyle", perhaps they would seek your advice or counsel. Many people thatare interested in the "lifestyle" need a gentle hand to guide them.
Excerpts taken from LSM by Brian D Adult Swingers contact mfphbic for more details about articles from LSM. Copies of LSM are available at My Friends Place during club events.
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Lesson 7--Meeting People Online
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Posted:Oct 10, 2012 2:05 pm
Last Updated:Jan 3, 2013 11:30 am
19993 Views
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Well we are all here so we are all taking on the task of meeting people online and the suggestions I have to offer are only my personal suggestions after being involved in the lifestyle and on line adult sites for over 7 years. These are just a few of the suggestions I have and a few of the issues I have found. Once again these are only my personal suggestions.
The first thing I have found is lots and lots of players and picture collectors on these types of sites. These are people who will never come out from behind the computer to actual hook up. This is great if you are only looking for online fun and not really interested in hooking up. So how do you seperate the players from those serious about getting together? Here are a few suggestions.
1. Be leery of someone whose first question is can you send me more pics--generally this person is only after your pics and after you send them they will quit emailing you, especially if they are not a gold member here so they can not see any galleries you may have posted. You never know where your pictures will end up when you send them to someone. I actually have the personal policy of not sending my pics to anyone who I do not know in person and if I do know them in person then they usually know where they can go to see all my pics lol.
2. Does the person always want you to go into a chatroom but always has an excuse why they can not meet?
3. Is the persons profile complete? Usually a person who is serious has a complete profile and not a bunch of unanswered questioned or has a profile introduction with just one line.
4. Does the person say they are near you but have a profile listed from somewhere location listed somewhere else but email you saying they are in town or coming to town? Although some people travel alot many times I have found this to be a dead end and they never end up in town. ASk them to email you once they are in town or if they are suppose to be in town ask them a question about something going on in town or if they have seen something specific that is in your town and see if they know about it.
5. Ask the person to call you or ask for their number so you can call them (generally I provide my number just because its more polite). I find very quickily that someone will not call if you if they are not serious. I seperate the players from those serious by asking them to call me or being able to call them. I can send my number to 20 people and will be lucky if half of those call me. You dont call me then our discussions are over. Also I am talking actually talking to someone not texting them back and forth this is as impersonal as email or chatrooms.
Arranging meetings---
1. My number one thing is that I will never set up a meeting with someone that I have not talked to on the phone and someone who refuses to give me their number. Be sure you have called them on that number to be sure it is indeed their number. I got a call once and arranged the meeting and was getting ready to leave and was running a little late and called back the number and found out it was a business and they had never heard of the person but had someone earlier that day use their phone to make a call. Once again this is talk to not texting.
2. Always meet in a public place for your initial meeting. This provides some safety for you. Many members of My Friends Place will only do their first meetings at the club because first it provides some safety for our single ladies and for others if they dont click with who they are meeting there are many other possibilies for either party to meet someone else they may click with.
3. Avoid meeting at someones house or hotel room--this can put you in a bad situation and may add more pressure for play. For those inviting someone to your house you never know who you are letting know where you live and for those being invited you never know what you are walking into. This is simply a safety thing whether a couple or single person. There are many bad people out there and they all know that these types of sites are a great place to find victims. An example is a couple years ago I had a friend very experienced in the lifestyle go to a hotel room to meet a gentlemen and was brutally .
4. Use common sense--if you get the feeling something is wrong or get that sixth sense bad feeeling then dont agree to meet the person.
5. If you are running late or can not make a meeting then have the common courtesy to call the other party and let them know as soon as you can. Many people have and have to make babysitting arrangements and it is a total bummer to go through all the trouble and the other party does not show up.
You may find especially if you are a single women that you will get tons and tons of emails. Always replay to an email even if you are not interested this is just polite. Affairlook actually has quick responses that just take a click of the button to respond back. My pet peeve is emails I get that are just plain rude as an initial email and I am sure you have all gotten them. Things like---sweet pussy I want to lick it or Wanna Fuck or other rude emails although these may not bother some of you it is my pet peeve and they get an automatic NOT INTERESTED sent back to them or if they are really rude they get a report abuse button clicked. Although if this is not a problem to you then that is your decision but most of the folks I know are offended by such rude intital emails.
Once again these are just a few suggestions that I have for you to help you through your journey. They are my personal suggestions that you may or may not agree with and if you have other suggestions please post them here so that others may learn from your experiences.
One last suggestion I have is look for local swingers clubs or groups that may have created a site for their club membersand are not the large adult sites but more local based sites. Many of these sites more then likely have strict rules that you need to follow to be on their sites and it is not just as simply as registering and you are good to go. I know that for Montana and Wyoming myfriendsplacexxx has a place and also thumpersocials has a place for people who are members of their group. Provding the web addresses would be a violation of the Affairlook rules so I am sorry I can not provide those but they can be found or you can contact mskitty59101for more information on My Friends Place or the moderator or one of the active members of Thumpers Socials for more information on Thumpers. Affairlook is number one in the adult meeting sites and can provide you with 100's of 1000's of people to find but these other places can be a nice addition to being on Affairlook.
Overall just use common sense when it comes to meeting people online. There are lots of people on Affairlook who are real and looking to meet but there are also lots of people who get off on playing games or want phone sex or cyber sex and really have no interest on actually hooking up in person for some real fun.
Remember if you have some other suggestions or thoughts on this please post it below so that it can be helpful to others.
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Lesson 6--Where to Meet People?
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Posted:Oct 3, 2012 5:15 pm
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2012 3:08 pm
19823 Views
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Now that you have talked about and set your boundaries you may be ready to take the next step which is getting out and meeting people. You can always meet people online on adult sites such as this and I will discuss some tips on that in a later lesson but many of you may be ready to skip all the games online and get to where you can meet some real people and have a little fun or at the least be able to get to where you can talk to other people in the lifestyle before you move ahead.
Here in Montana and Wyoming as well there is only one actual physical lifestyles club which is My Friends Place as well as a couple of groups around who do private house parties one of which is Thumpers Socials.
What is the difference you ask?
A club is exactly what it says it is a nightclub for people in the lifestyle. Basically it is a bar that is open only for those in the lifestyle. It is like going to any "vanilla" bar only everyone there is in the lifestyle and you know that by going there everyone is there for the same reason you are. Clubs generally have a set of rules and may also have membership rules as well. Montana's Club My Friends Place does not require that you be a member of the club to attend the events and only requires that you follow the rules and are open to the lifestyle. My Friends Place is only open once a month and brings in an average of 50 people and up every month. They have theme parties which means that each event has a theme and they do not require that you dress for the theme and just want people to dress as they are comfortable. They are also an off premise club which means that there is no playrooms on the property and sex is not allowed at the club. Montana law actually prohibits the operation of an on premise club and since this club is licensed it has to abide by the laws of the state in order to remain open. This club has been in operation under a few different names for about 7 years and has tons of members that are ready to talk to new people and help them in their journey. This club is open for single males and single women as well as couples.
House parties are generally held in private homes or homes that are acquired for the evening for the purpose of bringing those together in the lifestyle. The parties generally allow sexual activity but there are usually strict rules that must be enforced. Thumpers Socials requires that you are a member before you can attend one of their parties and have strict requirements for becoming a member. Single men are not allowed. They hold two to three parties a year and have great sttendance.
There are also many groups of people who hold parties in hotels or bars or other locations to provide the opportunity for people to meet each other. The biggest thing is look into where ever you plan on going to find out about their rules, reputation, time the group has been together or been in business and how sexual the party may be. You do not want to put yourself into something you are not ready for or go somewhere that problems could occur. An example of being put in a bad situation is a group that used to be around--notice I said used to--that required that you sleep with the couple in charge if you attended one of their parties. Other places may require that you are open to being involved with anyone in attendance and if you are new then you may not be ready to walk into a house or hotel and get naked and get busy in front of a dozen other people.
The best thing is do especially if you are new is find a reputable place to start off your journey. You can always expand where you play as you get more experience and get more confortable in the lifestyle. Remember taking baby steps is ok and you should only move along as you are comfortable with what you are doing.
Both My Friends Place and Thumpers Socials are holding events for Halloween and both are established and have great reputations within the lifestyle communities so you may be able to get out and start exploring soon. Thumpers Socials is October 20th house party near Bozeman and My Friends Place October 27th club party in Billings.
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Lesson 5--Boundaries
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Posted:Sep 26, 2012 4:08 pm
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2012 3:09 pm
19736 Views
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Now that you have discussed why you are swinging and what you want to get out of the lifestyle it is time to set boundaries.
Setting boundaries is one of the most important things you need to do before you start interacting with others. Boundaries are the rules for how you will play and what is allowed or not allowed. Most newbies have many more boundaries then those who are more experienced in the lifestyle. You can always change your boundaries as you get more experience in the lifestyle and more comfortable with those you play with.
You need to be sure that those you play with are aware of your boundaries and this is something that may come up in a typical conversation with potential playmates. It actually is something that should be discussed with potential playmates before entering into a playing situation. Those who are members of My Friends Place will generally discuss their boundaries with potential playmates while still at the club before leaving to go back to someones home or hotel room. There is nothing worse then getting to your play place and finding out that the people you plan on playing with have totally different rules or boundaries then you do.
What are some examples of boundaries?
1. We will only play in the same room.
2. We will only play together.
3. We will not play on the first meeting.
4. There will be no mouth on mouth kissing.
5. There is no anal play.
6. Both partners must agree on who they will play with.
7. We will only play with women.
8. We will not do group play.
9. We will always use a condom.
These are just a few examples of what you may have as boundaries and remember that your boundaries can always change as you grow within the lifestyle and start getting more comfortable in the lifestyle.
An example of changing rules is when we first started out in the lifestyle these are just a few of the rules we had:
We will only play together
We will only do same room play.
We must agree on play partners.
We will only play with couples.
We will always use condoms.
In the eight years we have been in the lifestyle we have opened up the way we play and do alot of things differently then we used to our rules now include:
We will play together or alone but all parties must approve of playmates.
We will play with couples, single men and single women.
We can play in seperate rooms as long as we are comfortable with who we are with.
We can do group play as long as we are both comfortable with the situation.
We always use condoms.
We must always meet our partners playmate first if they are going to play alone with someone.
Partner must always know when the other is going to play alone with someone and approve of the person.
Boundaries can be ever changing and the important thing is that you have stricter boundaries when you first start out and then decide if you need to change them as you go along. But you MUST have boundaries in place before you start to play. These give you direction and provide you with guidelines that each of you is aware of and agree to. Both people must agree on the boundaries in order of the lifestyle to work in a productive and fun way.
Maybe some of you reading this can share what your boundaries are or how you decided on those boundaries?
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Lesson 4--Why Do You Want To Swing?
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Posted:Sep 25, 2012 4:29 pm
Last Updated:Sep 26, 2012 4:10 pm
12865 Views
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Questions to discuss before getting involved in swinging
People explore the swing lifestyle for many reasons. Some are just bored with their regular sex life and want the thrill that comes from the hunt of a new sexual partner. Some are looking to explore an activity they’ve not done before. Girl-girl exploration is one of the biggest, but there are men who want to explore with another man as well. Additionally, some are interested in groups, having sex with someone outside their race or a host of other reasons.
While the thought of swinging can be appealing on a personal level, a couple needs to have a very serious discussion about the topic including each partner’s expectations, their willingness to explore the lifestyle and what is acceptable or expected behavior while with others in a sexual context.
Some of the questions you need to ask yourself and your partner are:
1. Why are you interested in exploring swinging?
2. What makes it appealing, and why have you decided to bring this up now, as opposed to earlier in your relationship? Has your relationship changed over time, or have you always been interested? Discuss what brought you to broach the subject and why you haven’t earlier.
3. Can you emotionally handle seeing your partnerwith someone else without becoming jealous? What if your wife/girlfriend has sex with a man who appears to be satifying her more then you think you do or makes her have mulitple orgasms when it is hard for you to get her to have even one? Will you be ok with her enjoying herself with one or possibly more men while you watch? Many, many men finally get what they think they want and end up having tremendous emotional difficulties afterwards. Women face the same issues. What if your husband/boyfriend finds a young woman who will gladly have anal sex with him, deep throat him and swallow or accept a double penetration with another man? What if she has a better body, larger breasts that don’t sag and no stretch marks? Is your relationship strong enough to handle these sorts of issues and remain strong, or will these issues breed jealousy and insecurities between the two of you?
4. Are you trying to fix an issue in your relationship? Is Your marriage in trouble and you think this will fix it? Remember this - people in the lifestyle will tell you universally is that this will NOT help you fix a broken relationship. It will expose every weakness you have and probably uncover some you weren’t even aware of. Some couples mistakenly think that because they are having relationship issues that this will somehow bring them together as it is something they can share as a couple. Usually nothing could be further from the truth. It requires an extraordinarily strong relationship to handle the potential stress and conflict that swinging can bring. It can be a wonderful experience, but it will most definitely not heal a relationship that is already having difficulties.
5. What experiences would you like to have?
6. Are you looking to remain in the lifestyle, or are you just trying to fulfill a specific fantasy?
7. Talk to your partner about your wants and desires if you would agree to explore them in a safe, secure setting. Some people want to explore with a member of the same sex, have multiple partners, act out role-play scenarios, try S&M, bondage or submissive/domination scenarios. However many couples merely enjoy chatting about the possibilities and are quite content to never act on them.
These are just some of the questions that you need to ask yourselves and discuss before you meet with anyone or attend a lifestyle club. One of the first questions that people at a lifestyles clubs like My Friends Place will ask you when trying to get to know you is what you are looking for.
Whatever your reasons, talk to your partner about your desires, fantasies, wants, needs and expectations. If you can’t communicate now, fix this first. You cannot be in the lifestyle successfully and not communicate.
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