Elections are like Pageants and Pageants are now worse!
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Posted:Jan 30, 2008 9:40 am
Last Updated:May 14, 2024 1:56 am
3281 Views
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I was so proud to hear that this years pageant winner was from my great state. Then I got a look at the winner. Now, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't kick her out of bed for doing caine. Her or that other one from last year that was doing caine. Heck, not even that total airhead runner up that thinks 'the US Americans cant find Arock because theys got no map'. I mean provided she's Miss over 18 runner up, I'd be honored to run up in her. BUT
I always thought these pageants were all about beauty. I've friends in my network way more beautiful than her. Surely they can lip sync the words to 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow'. Again, don't get me wrong, she a lovely girl, but I can go out outside right now and dig out the snow banks a Michigamey-dame that's better than her. Maybe I'm a little bitter because I think the world of my network friends and a lot of them are fine as heck.
I guess as one of the ugly people of the world I feel a little bamboozled. Who knows? Maybe these pageant members have to be virgins. That would eliminate a lot of my network friends. It's not the worst thing anyway. I mean look at these presidential elections choices. I just know I could find a pageant runner up who would make a better president.
I guess when you've had nothing but Bush-lite for the last eight years, cold piss looks pretty appetizing.
Dont hold back people, tell me what you think about this. Especially you people from out of state that are GreatStateHaters. Y'all dont scar me nawn, dont ya kno.
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No BullSh!t II. The sequel.
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Posted:Jan 30, 2008 8:20 am
Last Updated:Dec 23, 2008 11:43 pm
3434 Views
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Ok here's another one edited for your approval. Of course the name again remain the same, because no one here is innocent, especially me.
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scarfacekirkmcgirk : Aren't you up early?
lora_evans001 : Hey who is this?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : this is me, Kirk. Who r u? and y r u on my contacts list? Gotta b a reason.
lora_evans001 : Hmm i dont know
scarfacekirkmcgirk : Where n the world r u?
lora_evans001 : can you tell me what site do you use there?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : a bunch. I think i've seen ur pic on SomeOtherSexSiteThatShhallRemainNamelessdotcom.
lora_evans001 : Ohh yes am on there. That is cool
scarfacekirkmcgirk : So ur where?
lora_evans001 : I am from NJ but out of the state now
scarfacekirkmcgirk : really? On vacation?
lora_evans001 : I am on a bussiness trip now to west africa now..Nigeria,to buy some art work and for Hexibition now. Where you from?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : I'm from UP.
lora_evans001 : where is that?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : u just said. Nigeria is in West Africa
lora_evans001 : so came here to buy some art works
scarfacekirkmcgirk : c anything you like?
lora_evans001 : what do you mean?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : look out for fakes. I wouldn't buy a Rockwell there. got any pics of your artwork?
lora_evans001 : I can get that but i havn't get the one to buy but as soon i get them i can snap them and you can see...Ok
scarfacekirkmcgirk : ok, what do u look like?
lora_evans001 : can you see my picture on there now?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : its very small and I dont have my glasses
lora_evans001 : Ohh i see. That is how they where scan but i will try to make them bigger, Ok
scarfacekirkmcgirk : ok, so, wheres the pics?
lora_evans001 : A minute. can you see that?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : its cumin accross but still blurry now. u got another?
lora_evans001 : Hmm i have only 1 more here
scarfacekirkmcgirk : kick it out. lets see
lora_evans001 : Ok, can you see that one again now?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : they're both pixelated. What did you enlagre them
lora_evans001 : I will email them to you then Ok
scarfacekirkmcgirk : yeah whateva
lora_evans001 : Ok then, so tell me where you from cos i dont get that UP. where is that imean what state is that. i want to get to know you better
scarfacekirkmcgirk : Thats the United Penisula of the GWN
lora_evans001 : I see. is it part of USA? sorry i want to know
scarfacekirkmcgirk : Not really. We're not recognized by the USA. we're ignored
lora_evans001 : Ohh i see. that is cool. It's good to know new things i think
scarfacekirkmcgirk : naw, not reallly. being ignored sucks
lora_evans001 : so what pay your bills there...
scarfacekirkmcgirk : The government. It's almost like communism but we stand in line to buy sh!t
lora_evans001 : The government? you have President there and state or was it a cuntry or what?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : It's more like a rebelous republic
lora_evans001 : Hmm ok
scarfacekirkmcgirk : A wilderness nation where only the strong survive
lora_evans001 : what's your email address i can send you the pictures then Ok. I will like to know more when i come online again..Ok
scarfacekirkmcgirk : scarfacekirkmcgirkSomeOtherSexSiteThatShhallRemainNamelessdotcom.
lora_evans001 : Hmm i see, so what do you do there then?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : I'm a pornoghapher. send some naughty pics if you got em.
lora_evans001 : Hmm i dont have them, sorry
scarfacekirkmcgirk : to bad, the state doesn't let us do anything double X or harder. I hope to escape to Mexico where I can do donkey shows
lora_evans001 : i see, you have president there?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : we had prez but we dont listen to him, we're looking for the next fool now
lora_evans001 : really, you near Mexico?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : no! but I know some people who smuggle folks into Mexico for 30 pesos. Hey, do you think you can loan me the 30 pesos? I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for 30 pesos today.
lora_evans001 : what do you mean and how would i do that from here?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : you could send me a postcard with an extra stamp attached on the back, dont lick it though or I cant sale it on the black market
lora_evans001 : I dont understand what you mean, you know i am in Nigeria now and i dont know much about here
scarfacekirkmcgirk : I could sale the postcard on the black market. If it has picture of you doing something illegal here. Like kissing a monkey or touching yourself. They'll pay big bucks for porn like that here. All we get mostly is Britney Spears videos and pics for our porn. You have monkey?
lora_evans001 : No, so what do i do. i dont want to do something to get me fired here. i am not Nigerian you know that. but if it would be something nice i can do that then, Ok
scarfacekirkmcgirk : You take naugty picture of yourself and make postcard. Hide an extra stamp between the paper and send it here to me. I pay smuggler and he takes me to promiseland, ole Mexico, Olay. I've been practicing my mexican to. ?Donde esta lavatoria?
lora_evans001 : Ohh that is nice, so what do i do now?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : Get camera and take naughty picture. Maybe you and some farm animal, that sales big here. Then send to me on the low-down. You can do me, huh? Dont forget extra stamps. I'll need to bring my own lunch on smugglers ship
lora_evans001 : Ohh i dont like pets. i dont think i can do that. can we talk about somethings else now..?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : You dont like pets, What kind of woman are you. All girls like pets.
lora_evans001 : well not all can
scarfacekirkmcgirk : Especially farm animals. What girl would not want to be with ?
lora_evans001 : and not all people wnat thge same things in life you know that, ok
scarfacekirkmcgirk : Ok you dont like farm but no reason to hate the little animals or big bulls. You must like little chickies. all girls love little chicks. right?
lora_evans001 : yes,
scarfacekirkmcgirk : I can sale pic of you with another chick, easy. Dont forget stamp!
lora_evans001 : sale it and what do you get fromthat i mean what do they use that for there?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : I dont ask. I dont want to know. Long as I dont get postcard sticky, DONT ASK DONT TELL! that how I roll.
lora_evans001 : so tell me what you looking for on SomeOtherSexSiteThatShhallRemainNamelessdotcom.then?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : I look for young dum full of cum girls to help me in my pornography business. i'm so hard. not an easy vocation to do. many men try to beat me. I must keep a grip on myself here. So what do you say? you have camera and must be lots of chicks in West Africa. You take pics for me and get me big release.? PLEASE pretty?
lora_evans001 : so what do you do with the chicks picx then?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : I keep them clean and sale to local men at the chicken choking plant. If you get me to ole Mexico I can be big bull pornographer and make lots of new wave westerns. Move up to film, thats where big bucks are bucking. You can be my esposa and we can live happily ever after. Making big time Mexican animal documentory black market films. You will be so satisfied. I promise you that.
lora_evans001 : That is cool
scarfacekirkmcgirk : Cool and crazy baby. So what do you say? You know some chicks there. you take pic and send. I sale and yet you know when I arrive in promiseland. I send for you, and other chick, of course, and we start our new life as Mexico's new animalmated film kings. We'll be as famous as Hasselhoff baby.
lora_evans001 : that would be nice. i am new here remember but you know that i have to make some reshearch here before i can do anything
scarfacekirkmcgirk : You bet baby. You research animals? Can you have pet rhino there.?
lora_evans001 : what is pet rhino?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : Rhino, you know. Big African rats with two or three horns. Horns sale big on horny market. 4 sure.
lora_evans001 : tell me
scarfacekirkmcgirk : Tell you what love. What to do with horns? They make some kind of afrodesiac. if all they have is peices. If you have whole horn, you dont need the afrodesiac. 4 sure. So what up baby? I cant stay online to long. the porno police will track my WiFi. You send me pics wit chicks? I be very happy camper.
lora_evans001 : Is it animals or only chicks
scarfacekirkmcgirk : animals and chicks, chicks and animals, but mostly chicks with aniamls. Thats what really sales. So what you think, I meet you in ole Mexico and we buy big bull. Start our own chick ranch for dudes. You like, I like!
lora_evans001 : so how am i gonna do this then. i dont have a camera here so what do i do now?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : You are artist right? paint me naughty picture. that way you can add both chicks and bulls and rhino too. Maybe even camel. men here like the hump. 4 sure. So what? You do?
lora_evans001 : yes
scarfacekirkmcgirk : I think I love you now. Get busy baby. put in lots of details to, and tails, very important.
lora_evans001 : ok
scarfacekirkmcgirk : Can you paint your boobs a little bigger than in real life though. Milkmen wont like teny tiny nipples like yours. I do but the black market you know. Just paint on postcard. You are artist. You can do.
lora_evans001 : ok so then what happend next? and how do i swend then to you?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : Or you could just wire me the money. If you are shy girl. You can western Union to my uncle in the states. How much can you send me today? $1,000 or $2,000 maybe
lora_evans001 : ok i will send it to you can i have your address to send it to then and what do you want to use that for now?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : To pay smugglers and run away with you my new love.
lora_evans001 : ok
scarfacekirkmcgirk : which is it 1 or 2 G's?
lora_evans001 : where do i send it to
scarfacekirkmcgirk : you send 2G, OK?
lora_evans001 : 2 what?
scarfacekirkmcgirk : Send to my uncle in military. here is info
lora_evans001 : ok
scarfacekirkmcgirk :
Uncle Sam of Salvation army
Anywhere USA
in care of Kirk McgGirk, FOR TAX PURPOSES
You send today. I want to leave this stinking place. I'm so lonely
lora_evans001 : ok. bye and take care
scarfacekirkmcgirk : Bye Bitch
lora_evans001 : so you think am that fool to send you money
scarfacekirkmcgirk : Yeah you're that fool, right? I mean I love you, you fool.
lora_evans001 : you can never scam me cos am a scammer too, Ok
scarfacekirkmcgirk : No sh!t
lora_evans001 : Ohh you called me fool but i think you are FOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
scarfacekirkmcgirk : What? You pornoghapher too?
lora_evans001 : STUPID MAN
scarfacekirkmcgirk : Wait what about chick pics? Can't I at least get that? I'm sooooooooo lonely here. And I'm running out of vasoline.
lora_evans001 : COME WHERE DO YOU LIVE. TELL ME THE TRUTH. I AM A GUY AND A SCAMMER TOO
scarfacekirkmcgirk : You are guy?
lora_evans001 : I AM A GUY GET THAT INTO YOUR FckING HEAR YES
scarfacekirkmcgirk : In that case. I will never run away with you to Mexico. For less than $10,000. Can you send that today?
lora_evans001 : PLEASE WHERE YOU FROM REALLY? LET ME KNOW NO LIES HERE. MAYBE WE CAN DO BUSSINESS TOGETHER HERE. WHAT DO YOU THINK
scarfacekirkmcgirk : I from where you are stupid
lora_evans001 : oHH FOOL LIKE YOU CALLED ME STUPID
scarfacekirkmcgirk : Look behind you. Are you looking? I'm the guy at the cyber-cafe with his dick in his hand. Can you give me an extra hand? PLEASE. Cum on, dont be like that. It's not like you haven't before.
lora_evans001 Has Signed out
lora_evans001 Has Signed back in.
scarfacekirkmcgirk : I knew you couldn't live without me.
lora_evans001 : NEVER YOU TALK TO ME AGAIN FOR LIFE COS AM ABOUT TO IGNORE YOU NOW...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHJA Fck YOUR MAMA Fck YOUR PAPA Fck YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU MORE AND MORE
scarfacekirkmcgirk : But i already like Fcking yours dude. Now bend over
lora_evans001 : ) WELL AM OUT HERE...SEE I WONNA IGNORE YOU NOW BYE FckING DUDE
scarfacekirkmcgirk : Buy I will miss you. Probably with every bullet I shoot your way. Dont bullsh!t the bullsh!ter
lora_evans001 : OK
scarfacekirkmcgirk : He'll only sh!t on you
lora_evans001 Has Signed out
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Now I'm exspecting more comments on this one gang. Go tell a friend. Hurry, before he hits the ATM and the Western Union!
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Dont BullSh!t the Bullsh!tter, I'll only Sh!t on you!
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Posted:Jan 13, 2008 9:50 pm
Last Updated:Feb 28, 2009 2:28 am
3707 Views
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This is a cut copy paste of an actual chat I had with someone that had a very gorgeous picture on their profile. I haven't even changed the names to protect the innocent. Or the guilty either.
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scarfacekirkmcgirk: Hi, How ya doing?
jeskuo: Hey baby am cool and you?
scarfacekirkmcgirk: I'm cool now, Thanks.
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Where are you at love?
jeskuo: What Love
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Where are you?
jeskuo: Ohhh you call me love?
jeskuo: hehehehhee
jeskuo: Well I use to Live in Ga but Presently in Western Region Of Africa
jeskuo: And you?
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Far far away from there.
scarfacekirkmcgirk: USA
scarfacekirkmcgirk: I've been meeting a lot of girls from Africa lately.
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Show me your picture.
jeskuo: Realy???
jeskuo: How many Of them?
scarfacekirkmcgirk: I didn't count
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Do you have a picture?
jeskuo: Can you see these?
scarfacekirkmcgirk: I see one.
jeskuo: Well baby i will be back Home by Next week baby Hopefully
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Where is home?
jeskuo: GA Columbus
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Cool
scarfacekirkmcgirk: You go to school there?
jeskuo: where?
scarfacekirkmcgirk: GA
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Home
jeskuo: Am a Graduate in Economics so i work in a WalMart store in Columbus
scarfacekirkmcgirk: You got another picture?
jeskuo: All for now...until i get back home
jeskuo: Can i see more of you too
jeskuo: ??
jeskuo: Baby why did you send that kind of Pics to me??
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Because, I want to be your baby.
jeskuo: Awwwwwww but not by these
scarfacekirkmcgirk: What's in Africa?
scarfacekirkmcgirk: What are you doing in Africa. Especially West Africa.
jeskuo: I went to fix something very Important to my Life
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Sounds confusing
scarfacekirkmcgirk: What did you fix?
jeskuo: Ohhhhhh why do you want to know???
jeskuo: LOL
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Really I dont want to know. Just trying to make conversation. Your pics are fine. you should make a detour when you cum home next week.
jeskuo: lol why??
scarfacekirkmcgirk: You should cum UP north.
scarfacekirkmcgirk: A pretty snowbunny like you would like it here.
jeskuo: Realy??
scarfacekirkmcgirk: We could go snowmobiling and make angels in the snow.
jeskuo: Yes that sound cool and nice baby
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Then you should do it.
scarfacekirkmcgirk: When are you cuming back?
jeskuo: Probably by thursday baby
jeskuo: Will you like me o come to you righaway fro here??
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Why not?
jeskuo: But baby My Flight Ticket fund is not Complete yet
jeskuo: Infact i can be coming tommorow if i have it Complete by now baby
scarfacekirkmcgirk: What kind of car do you drive back here in the states?
jeskuo: I dont drive one
BUZZ!!!
scarfacekirkmcgirk: That's a problem. How do you expect to get around?
jeskuo: DUNNO BABY
jeskuo: DO YOU HAVE ONE?
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Of course, I hate walking.
scarfacekirkmcgirk: What do you do take cabs from the airport?
jeskuo: Yes baby will you come and pick me up from your airport??
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Which airport?
jeskuo: Baby i thought u said you will like me to come to you from here
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Yeah so which airport would I be picking you up at?
jeskuo: Baby you will have to give me your Nearest AirPort
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Chicago is the closest international airport
scarfacekirkmcgirk: from there you gotta fly into Ironwood MI.
scarfacekirkmcgirk: I can pick you up there
jeskuo: OK BABY
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Find out when your plane will arrive and boom, we'll do the damn thing.
jeskuo: BABY HOW DO I COMPLETE MY FLIGHT TICKET MONEY FIRST I PAYED HALF ALREADY AND REMAINING HALF
scarfacekirkmcgirk: I dont know
scarfacekirkmcgirk: How do you make your MONEY?
jeskuo: I HAVE SPENT SO MUCH SINCE WHEN I GOT HERE
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Five star motels?
jeskuo: HUH??
scarfacekirkmcgirk: What do you do for a living? You look like a model.
jeskuo: I have once been model and not anymore
scarfacekirkmcgirk: So how do you eat now? How do you make your MONEY?
jeskuo: Hmmmmm baby i still have enough to survie till i get the Balance of the Plane ticket
scarfacekirkmcgirk: So when will you have the balance?
jeskuo: DUNNO
scarfacekirkmcgirk: So maybe you should take that survive MONEY and get the other half of the ticket.
jeskuo: BABY I HAVE USED ALL THATS ON ME TO BUY FOOD STUFFS AND PAY THE HOTEL BILL
scarfacekirkmcgirk: OMG
scarfacekirkmcgirk: What will you do when your hotel time runs out?
jeskuo: JUST HOPPING TO RAISE SOME MONEY SOON TO GET THE BALANCE BABY.......YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO ASSIT ME TO GET THAT
scarfacekirkmcgirk: One would think I should.
jeskuo: OHHHH THANKS BABY I WILL SO MUCH APPRECIATES THAT BABY AS SOON AS I GET THERE TO YOU BABY
scarfacekirkmcgirk: But one would be wrong.
jeskuo: OHHHH HOW BABY???
scarfacekirkmcgirk: How indeed
jeskuo: YOU ARE A NICE STRONG BLACK MAN
scarfacekirkmcgirk: How much do you need?
jeskuo: JUST 720 BABY
scarfacekirkmcgirk: That's all?
jeskuo: YUP
jeskuo: I PAYED HALF ALREADY BABY
scarfacekirkmcgirk: You'll make that in no time. Fine as you are.
jeskuo: HUH?
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Is your modeling agent back here in the states?
jeskuo: NOPE BABY IN GREECE
scarfacekirkmcgirk: You should call your agent and have them setup some photo shoots, QUICK LIKE. Before your hotel MONEY runs out.
jeskuo: BABY WE QUIT ALREADY AM NOT GOING BACK TO THEM TO BE SERIOUS
scarfacekirkmcgirk: You dont like them?
jeskuo: SO BABY ARE U SAYING YOU CANT ASSIST ME WITH THAT DESPITE AM COMING TO YOU????
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Do you need $720 or just half of that?
jeskuo: 720 THATS HALF OF THE FLIGHT TICKET FUND
jeskuo: I NEEDED 720 BUCKS TO GET TO YOU THERE
scarfacekirkmcgirk: I'm there already
scarfacekirkmcgirk: We need to worry about you
scarfacekirkmcgirk: You now what?
jeskuo: WHAT BABY?
scarfacekirkmcgirk: I know where you can get the MONEY for sure as fine as you are. Right there in Africa too. You can be one of those webcam models. Horny men signup and get online with you and you do things like strip for them and masturbate and they send you MONEY online
jeskuo: WHY ARE U SAYING ALL THESE TO ME???
scarfacekirkmcgirk: There are a lot of places like that in Africa.
jeskuo: is it because i told you i wanna come to you and you are taking me for graned???
scarfacekirkmcgirk: No baby
jeskuo: AM NOT LIKE THAT ONE OF THE CAM GIRLS OK???
jeskuo: AM NOT STUPID AND I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT MY PERSONALTY
jeskuo: so dont you ever say that kind of a thing to me again
jeskuo: DONT TAKE ME FOR GRANTED BABY
scarfacekirkmcgirk: It's for granite
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Like the stone that they mine in New Hampshire. I want to find a way to get you here. You wont have to sleep with these pervs just jackoff on camera for them while they jerkoff too. It's a sure shot way to earn some quick cash
jeskuo: BABY IF YOU KNOW YOU CANT HELP ME THEN FORGET IT THEN
jeskuo: OK???
jeskuo: STOP IT OK
jeskuo: OK SORRY BABY I CANT DO THAT OK?
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Besides Im on the other side of the world
scarfacekirkmcgirk: how can I give you the MONEY when you're not here?
jeskuo: BABY IF REALY YOU WANT TO SEND THE MONEY TO ME TELL ME
scarfacekirkmcgirk: How?
scarfacekirkmcgirk: If you put it in an envelope
scarfacekirkmcgirk: the mailman might take it
jeskuo: VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER
scarfacekirkmcgirk: OH Western Union
scarfacekirkmcgirk: yeah how do I do that
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Who Do I send it to?
jeskuo: THE HOTEL MANAGER NAME AND ADDRESS BABY
jeskuo: HOLD ON
scarfacekirkmcgirk: I'm holding
jeskuo:
NAME : MR AYO ADEDU
ADDRESS: 237 CLEGG STREET AGEGE
CITY: AGEGE
STATE: LAGOS STATE
ZIP CODE: 23401
COUNTRY: NIGERIA
jeskuo: WHAT ARE YOU DOING BABY?
BUZZ!!!
BUZZ!!!
jeskuo: YOU STILL HERE???
jeskuo: BABY WHAT YOU DOING??
jeskuo: ARE YOU OK??
scarfacekirkmcgirk: ok im back
jeskuo: FROM WHERE BABY?
scarfacekirkmcgirk: The kitchen. I made a ham sandwich.
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Who the hell is MR AYO ADEDU?
jeskuo: THE HOTEL MANAGE
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Whats your whole name Jess?
jeskuo: JESSICA MOREEN SMITH
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Moreen, thats cute.
scarfacekirkmcgirk: That's who I'll send it to. MR AYO ADEDU sounds untrust worthy.
jeskuo: THE WESTERN UNION HERE DONT ACCEPT FORIEGN ID WITHOUT A DRIVERS LICENCE
jeskuo: THATS WHY YOU HAVE O SEND IT TO HIS NAME BABY
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Besides he runs a hotel. Those people are crooks.
jeskuo: BABY HE IS THE HOTEL MANAGER AND WE WILL GO TO THE WESTERN UNION TOGETHER
jeskuo: NOPE DARLING DONT THINK THAT WAY OK
scarfacekirkmcgirk: He sounds like a bad man.
jeskuo: HE HAS BEEN VERY NICE AND ACCOMODATING TO ME EVER SINCE GOT HERE BABY
scarfacekirkmcgirk: He might hurt you and take your MONEY
jeskuo: COMMON BABY ARE YOU KIDDING ME HERE OR WHAT???
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Do you truth him?
jeskuo: YES BABY I DO TRUST HIM DONT WORRY SWEETIE EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE AS SOON AS YOU GET BACK TO ME WITH THE FULL WESTERN UNION INFO
jeskuo: OK BABY??
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Oh so you known him a long time?
jeskuo: YES ASLONG AS I HAVE BEEN HERE BABY
scarfacekirkmcgirk: He is a nice guy?
jeskuo: YUP
scarfacekirkmcgirk: He would not hurt you?
jeskuo: NOPE BABY I WILL BE FINE
scarfacekirkmcgirk: He would not steal from you?
jeskuo: NOPE BABY
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Have you fucked him yet?
jeskuo: STOP THAT BABY HE HAS NEVER TRIED THAT ON ME
jeskuo: AM A VERY RESPONSIBLE WOMAN OK?
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Oh, he is gay? He like little boys, huh?
jeskuo: I GUESS YOU ARE PLAYING GAMES WITH ME ON HERE
scarfacekirkmcgirk: NO
scarfacekirkmcgirk: I would never do that
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Cause I do want to fuck you
scarfacekirkmcgirk: not like MR AYO ADEDU
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Especially if you're as fine as your picture
jeskuo: I THINK I NEED TO GET OFF HERE NOW
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Why?
jeskuo: THANKS FOR WASTING MY TIME
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Have I hurt your feelings?
scarfacekirkmcgirk: I'm sorry baby dont go away mad.
jeskuo: OK AM HERE BABY
scarfacekirkmcgirk: I want you to be satisfied. I want to send you the MONEY and have you cum right here.
jeskuo: COOL BABY SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU WILL SEND ME THE 720BUCKS BECAUSE I REALY WANT TO COME TO YOU AND YOU KNOW HAVE NICE TIME TOGETHER
scarfacekirkmcgirk: That's $720 right?
scarfacekirkmcgirk: We'll you stay with me?
jeskuo: YES DARLING FOR SURE
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Will you marry me?
scarfacekirkmcgirk: I'm a good man.
jeskuo: LOL...HEHEHEHEHEH WHEN I GET TO YOU BABY WE WILL TALK THAT AND SORT IT OUT OK?
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Will you have my ugly ?
jeskuo: I KNOW U ARE A GOOD MAN BABY
jeskuo: LOL....YOU FUNNY BABY
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Yes you are pretty but
scarfacekirkmcgirk: I'm very ugly sio any we have will be ugly too
jeskuo: NOOOOOOO BABY YOU ARE STILL HANDSOME DONT THINK YOU ARE THAT UGLY BABY
scarfacekirkmcgirk: That picture there aint really me.
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Do you want to see what I look like?
jeskuo: YES BABY FOR SURE
scarfacekirkmcgirk: That was a bad day
scarfacekirkmcgirk: I had a headache
jeskuo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA THAT LOOKS LIKE HALLOWEEN STUFF
scarfacekirkmcgirk: You should see my mother.
scarfacekirkmcgirk: She's always angry
scarfacekirkmcgirk: PMS you know
scarfacekirkmcgirk: I'm gonna go ask my mother if she'll give me the MONEY to send to you
jeskuo: OK
scarfacekirkmcgirk: If not
scarfacekirkmcgirk: I'll have to sell all my toys
jeskuo: OK BABY
scarfacekirkmcgirk: That reminds me
scarfacekirkmcgirk: How old are you?
jeskuo: AM 27
scarfacekirkmcgirk: older woman nice
scarfacekirkmcgirk: and I want you to know
scarfacekirkmcgirk: I dont mind that you're twice my age
jeskuo: LOL.......THATS OK BABY
scarfacekirkmcgirk: So when I graduate from 5th grade
scarfacekirkmcgirk: we'll get married, ok?
jeskuo: OK BABY SURE WE WILL HAVE KNOWN MUCH MORE ABOUT OURSELVES BY THEN
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Hey do you like Playstation?
scarfacekirkmcgirk: I wont mary a bitch that dont do playstation
jeskuo: YES BUT LONG AGO WHEN I PLAYED ALL GAMES
jeskuo: DO I WILL HAVE TO START PLAYING IT AGAIN BECAUSE OF YOU BABY
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Can you get me the new Playatation 3?
scarfacekirkmcgirk: For our wedding gift
scarfacekirkmcgirk: My moms a bitch and wont but it for me.
jeskuo: LOL
jeskuo: BABY ITS REALY LATE HERE AND I HAVE TO GET GOING BABY
jeskuo: AM SO TIRED BABY
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Me too my mother make me go to bed early on school nights
jeskuo: OK BABY SO HOW IS IT GONNA BE BABY???
scarfacekirkmcgirk: I'm gonna make her loan me the MONEY and send it to you or else I'll hold my breath til I'm blue
jeskuo: OK BABY I WILL BE GREATFUL FOR THAT BABY
jeskuo: SO WHAT TIME WILL THAT BE TOMMOROW BABY?
scarfacekirkmcgirk: School ends at 3:15
scarfacekirkmcgirk: and the bus brings me home about 4
scarfacekirkmcgirk: It's a short bus
jeskuo: ok baby send it to my offline on here as soon as you send it Ok???
jeskuo: the Western Union Info>>>MTCn and your full name and Address too
jeskuo: UNTIL THEN BABY STAY BLESSED AND GOOD NIGHT.....
scarfacekirkmcgirk: OK good nite
jeskuo: OK
scarfacekirkmcgirk: Good nite
scarfacekirkmcgirk: My playstation playing, MONEY needing, all stuck in the dark continent, craddle robbing, bitch of a fiance. Hold your breath. Moneys on the way.
jeskuo: HAHAHAHAHAHA LOL
jeskuo has signed out. (1/13/2008 10:18 PM)
==================================================================================================
I mean the nevre of some people.
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A man turns 40 and it's a whole new year.
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Posted:Dec 31, 2007 8:45 pm
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2007 9:03 pm
3021 Views
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Well as the new year comes to an end I sit back and reflect on the year I've had. I've separated from my partner of the last 15 years who is still my best friend and frequent fuck. I've had a rondevue with an older lady who put most of my younger ones to shame. I've made many a friend here on Affairlook and come to the realization that I'll keep this account going if but just to have even more friends. I've had more sex in the last quarter of this year than I've had in my last four years. I've turned 40 and found that I'm hornier than ever and a better lover than I ever was. I've mastered the art of multiple orgasms (hers not mine) and feel like there's not a woman in the world I cant make cum, provided she willing and I'm patient with her. Done a little bondage, get a sex swing (they're great) and collected a rather large toy chest.
All in all it's been a great year. I no longer look for material things to win women over (ThanX Patty) but just let them see me for me and if I'm what they want, I've learned to let it happen. I didn't get any richer this year or younger but I got a lot wiser and for that I'm gratful. I want to thank from the bottom of my heart all the woman who have given me the greatest pleasure and promise to keep a place in my heart and my bed where they can always feel safe and satisfied. I'll work on the other things this year that I'm shooting for but again, all in all, it's been a great year. It's gonna be hard to top this one. But I'll damn sure try.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY.
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The Oath!
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Posted:Dec 22, 2007 1:51 am
Last Updated:Dec 22, 2007 2:08 am
3096 Views
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I (state your name) do solemly swear
to tax that ass like I really do care,
to eat that pussy until the plate is clean,
then serve up seconds, if you know what I mean.
I will not bust up nut until the is done
and dont leave them laying there with only just one.
Every hole they want filled will be truly stuffed
and I will not stop until they cry out "ENOUGH!".
Next time they need a quickie they should call on me,
for they'll cum in 30 minutes or their next ones free.
If she wants to 69 for some oral fun
I'll just 68 and she can owe me one.
Necks, nipples, tits, hips, both sets of lips and the booty,
back, waist, thighs, clit, head to toe, It's my duty.
Using hands, arms, back, mouth, tonge, every trick,
vibrators, dildos, rabbits, eggs, until I'm begged for the dick.
To use tools and toys in a professional way
and to serve my in the manner they say.
To do every patrant as their pay does deserve
and be most attentive to every genital nerve.
From missionary to ass-up and every other position
for multiple orgasms is my primary mission.
Rather serving one or more, discreetly or in a crowd
for I'm a bonafide man- that will do his job proud.
B & D, S & M, every fantasied fetish
no shame to the game, just as long as God lets us.
Dear Lord, this oath I do swear to, as my lifes long devotion
to rock a girls world like a hurricane does the ocean.
'Now remember cadets, either raise your right hand when giving this oath or place your cock over your heart'.
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Back off the wagon, again.
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Posted:Dec 22, 2007 12:46 am
Last Updated:Sep 24, 2010 10:13 pm
3049 Views
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Well people I've relapsed.
I been pretty good about my habit lately but today I really fell hard off the wagon. I was having so much sex with the ex that I was doing so well at not keeping my hands to myself. However, today, while editing videos I lost all self control. My addiction over came me and must have masturbated 7 or 8 times this morning alone.
Then the ex-wife tells me that the day was 'National Orgasm Day' and since she was not available I ended the day with another session. Adicktion is hard (That's no spelling mistake either). But as an addict I know that I've my whole life to deal with this and although I've relapse today, I can wake up tomorrow and paraphase the words I learned in rehab.
"I'm Kirk and I'm a jack-aholic but I'm living life one day at a time and I'm horny today".
I wont 'beat myself' up about my little back slide. I wont be so 'hard on myself'. I'll keep looking ahead and not at it. I'll make it this day the begining of the rest of my life and 'stand strong'. I'll refuse to be 'limp'. I know it will be 'hard' but it's all for the best. Yes people, that's ok, cause today I'm my own 'rock' and I'm not going to be the 'jerk' I was before. Yes sir!
Right after this 'one last time'.
Hey you don't exspect me to quick 'cold chicken', do you?
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A 'NaughtyNastyLover' Story!
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Posted:Nov 27, 2007 6:59 am
Last Updated:Dec 22, 2007 2:08 am
3251 Views
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Her's a story I wrote for a friend. The names have been change to protect the potentlially guilty.
Another Saturday afternoon as I sit in anticipation of weekly dressup night. A little ritual that me and the wife have cooked up to have a reason to put the , with snacks, in front of the tv and video games and lock ourselves in her room to rock the walls as best we can. So there I am, wearing a cock ring 2 sizes to small, wondering what to wear? Maybe the leather chasity shorts, though they've been tried before. Maybe the motocycle chaps and jacket, they've been done before too. Maybe I'll really freak her out and show up wearing the dress I bought her for our anniversary, that would be new.
Then, what's this? A new friends request. Always the curious, I accept and start a chat with someone how seems to know a bit to much about me. They to wonder what I'll be wearing tonight. Must be the wife playing a joke I think, so I play along. "There's nothing new to wear so I'll put on my birthday suit", I type. I explain how I'll brave the freezing weather to the love shack that is the wifes room and show up with nothing but a leather cock ring on. 'Sounds good is the response I receive and I'll show up to direct the two of you in our own little XXX expose'.
OK, I think, why that little minx. It's surely the wife trying to fake me out I guess that's why I 'NaughtyNastyLover' her. "Sure you do just that and I'll be your little sex slave for the night". So glad she cant hear the snickering in my voice. 'So what's that address? I'm close to you know and should be there shortly.' Oh now she's taking it to the extreme. "Why 21 Cedar dont ya know? Of course we'll be in the back house but the doors are always unlock so just cum in and start dominating. I'm a nasty naughty boy and could use a good spanking". Now I'm pushing it knowing that my wife would never really hurt me.
'What about your wife? Is she naughty too?' the chattor types. "Oh yeah, she's a nasty naughty slut who will need to be tied down and brutally eaten out and have her little clit spanked, REAL HARD". She loves it when I play around like that, I would never really do it though, I mean I 'NaughtyNastyLover' her, right. This is just to get her to stop her little game with a telling, LOL.
'OK then. You both need it bad and you'll get it good. Go get in your birthday suits and get ready to have your little naughty nasty asses spanked red'. Oh now she's done it. My dick is as hard as chineese algebra and my cock ring is ready to snap. I rush the to bed early and give them the same old line, "Dont disturb your mother and I unless this house is on fire. We need to talk about the bills, yeah".
So I close their door grab my bag of toys and strip down to my birthday suit. I make a mad naked dash to the wifes door, hoping no neighbors spy the Wild Naked Black Man of Forest as I burst through the door unannounced and see the look of surprise on her face. What an actress. One would think she really is surprise to see me standing there, ass naked, one-eyed saluting her. The sight of my rock hard cock quickly overcomes her and her look of surprise turns to pure lust. But you know that's 'NaughtyNastyLover' for ya, so.
Our passions over take us and we intertwine ourselves in a good old fashion missionary style fuck session that soon leavess us both spent and spawled in a smoldering heap on the bed. The usual 'Did you make it too' and 'I love you's are exchanged as I let out a giggle. "What so funny?" she asks. "Why you of course. Luring me out early with your little horny IM messages and lude flirtations. You really got me going. I had to cum out now and give you the old heave-ho." I say now laughing full tilt now.
"What are you talking about dear? I didn't IM you", she protest. "Oh, sure you didn't. It was just some online freak I surposed I gave our address to and an invitation to cum and spank us both. Very funny love you're a ho..." I stop mid sentence. After 15 years I know when she's joking and when she's not, she's not now. So with a glint of fear in her eyes she says. "you gave out our addres online? I'd hurt you now if you weren't my 'NaughtyNastyLover'".
Smiles turn to puzzlement as a frosty whirlwind burst though the door along with, yes you guest it, 'NaughtyNastyLover'. By the leather whip in her hand, the sly grind on her face and fully erect nipples jutting through her shear see-thru top (you know the one in your picture I cant stop staring at) you know this woman did not cum to play.
I'm at a complete lose of words as mini-me stands up to get a one-eyed look and my wife whom I falsely assume will protect me grabs the leather cuffs and iron chains off the wall but not for 'NaughtyNastyLover' but for her 'NaughtyNastyLover', me. It is like some unrehearsed female on male girls-priaon scene from a rather good B-movie. Both ladies speek an unspoken languauge and know eactly what's about to happen, yet never met.
In a sexual stupor I find myself hog-chained and ball-gaged like a pig for the feast. Also to my amazement my wife is a more than willing participant in this male debauchery. How could this be? I thought I knew her. She'd never do this to me. Must be a joke. Not my 'NaughtyNastyLover', never!
I'm forced to uncomfortably lay in this position and watch as my 'NaughtyNastyLover' is ingaged in acts, although fantasized about, never witness by mine or any other eyes. Her nipples are pinched her lips (both sets) kissed to a deep red and her once lebian-virgin clit is explored in ways I, as a man, never thought possible.
Her super-intense orgasms put me to shame. I am amused and amazed as her whole body shakes so hard she become a life sized human vibrator. Passion must has made her lose track of her wits because although she has commented on how she would let some bi-female chew her out but not return the favor, she has thrown lezbo caution to the wind. I now witness her clitorial-virgin tounge delve deep inside of our newly declared 'NaughtyNastyLover'.
The night goes on and on as orgasm after orgasms seem to blend into one long orgasm that knows no end. It seems we fall asleep to orgasm and wake to it the next morning. Asses red, genitles sore and every rechargable battery spent. We all muster one last orgasmic burst through the pain brought on by the exploits of the night before and surrender to the fact that there must be healing before even a gentle masturbation will be in our futures. We turn still catching our breaths as we see our 'NaughtyNastyLover' fully dress with a hand on the door.
"When will we do you again?" the wife begs. "How about at least a copy of that tape for us to reminisce to?" the misses ask, still to no verbal reply. She only to get a coy smile as an answer. "Will you call or mail or email or.." I start but am interupted with a single pointer finger to her lush red lips that let pass only a "SHHHHH". "Please dont go like this. You fuck us to near disability and leave us here without even a promise of more someday, somewhere. For the love of Venus will you at least let us know your name?" A smile is passed along with a sly devilish glance as the door is pulled shut to one single soft spoken reply from the beautiful stranger that has shown us so much. The reply I'm sure you know as the woman, I'm sure you do to. She is the new love of both our lives. A dream of a return rondevue a lustful need for at least one more night of sweet torture. A stranger who, although strange, is now all to intimately fimilar. For see all these sought for answers are the same response, they are simply, "'NaughtyNastyLover'"!
How's that story, friend. A PS. If there is a 'NaughtyNastyLover' on Affairlook, this is not aimed at you. Unless you're into this type of thing.
KirkMcGirk
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The taste of a man or mens cum?
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Posted:Nov 22, 2007 7:32 am
Last Updated:Dec 22, 2007 8:35 am
3134 Views
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Taken from magazine post The taste of a man or mens cum?.
Now I've another myth to to either confirm or debunk. It involve the taste of a mans cum and rather it can be inhanced. I've was told long ago that it taste like spoiled milk. Well to be quite honest, curiousity got the best of me one jack session and I can say that my own taste like slightly spoiled and lighty salted milk. Yeah I know what some guys are thinking but believe me, it grossed me out more than any of you are now.
So ladies and gay gentlemen, I must ask:
Does it all taste the same?
Have you ever had a different or even sweet tasting load that stood out from the pack?
and last but not least:
Is it true that a man can consume a certain diet that will change the taste of his cum?
I've heard that last one some where before but dont know if it's true. Sure, I know there are favored lube and stuff like that and I remember having an arguement with a cousin that flavored condoms are probably just scented and not actually flavored. However, 'I gots to know'.
Is there some dish that I could eat that would give my wife a sweet treat?
And not just a salty slimy after taste, as I sense it anyway. She swears she likes the present favor but I say variety is the spice of life (excuse the pun).
Really people help me out. I'll hide your postings if you request it.
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JOKE: Lookout for Penguins!
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Posted:Nov 16, 2007 4:24 pm
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2007 4:32 pm
3239 Views
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My weak attempt at comedy.
Apologies in advance for those I'm about to offend.
A man darts into a bar, puts a $100 bill on the counter and tells the bartender, "Give me a shot of the hardest thing you have".
The bartender smiles and pours him a shot from a bottled labeled 'Flamable'. He sucks it down in one gulp and ask for a refill.
The bartender says as he pours, "Man you look spooked. What's got you this way?"
He gulps down the next shot and says as he gestures for a refill, "Tell me, about how big is a penguin?"
The bartender pours and then uses his hand to show the average size of an average penguin and ask, "Man you are this terrified of a penguin just this small?"
The man slams down the next drink and says, "No way man, this thing was much bigger."
and gestures for yet another drink.
Before he downs it he looks the bartender straight in the eye and says,
"I think I just ran over a nun!"
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Ten orgasms for her tenth anniversary.
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Posted:Nov 16, 2007 4:08 am
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2007 4:31 pm
3104 Views
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What a month the little misses has had so far. A dinner date weekend with her boyfriend at a lake side resort. A whole week of great sex with friends and the hubby. Also, for her 10th anniversary I decided to give her a gift for every year that we've been together (exactly 15 to the date of our 10th). The usual BS, flowers and candles and candy but what could I give her to really show her how much I love her. Hell the leather corset was more for my enjoyment any way. So then it came to me, why not 10 orgasms? I mean she is worth it.
So I got out all our toys and lubes. Put on all my black leather. Popped fresh batteries in the camera and started a slow pace into what was to be a long night (in a good way though) and set out on our quest. The purple rabbit was working over time. We took snuggle breaks at numbers 4 and 7. Heck we even got number 8 on Affairlook as my new intro 10 O
 . It was a labor of love.
Although our exploits went into the next morning, I am happy to report that we both had a very happy 10th and she got her 10 O's before midnight and even a little AM wake me up and put back to bed again. It was great.
Now, what to do for that 11th? UMM!
Kirk
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What it means to be a FRIEND. For my muse,
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Posted:Nov 9, 2007 3:39 pm
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2007 4:31 pm
3074 Views
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What it means to be a FRIEND.
Rather right besides me
or somewhere far,
I call you friend
because you are:
FOREVER there when needed,
in times both good and bad.
REMEMBERING those times
and all the fun we've had.
INSPIRING my prespective
to face another day.
ENDIRING all my bullshit
and still choosing to stay.
NEEDING me to be there
as much as I need you.
DREAMING of the next time we meet,
and until then, being true.
By Kirk for YNWYA.
THANX 2 U my muse
KIrkMcGirk
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How I saved my cyber-self.
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Posted:Nov 9, 2007 3:37 pm
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2007 4:31 pm
3092 Views
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I had never had cyber-sex or phone-sex for that matter. I'm sure I would have if the opportunity had been there. However, just like my real virginity, my cyber-virginity was something I could not lose on my own. Then I met someone on Affairlook. Someone who has become very special to me. We hit it off chatting online and it seemed like we had known each other forever. Then one day the topic arised. I told her that I was a cyber-virgin and she said 'Me too'. I told her a was falling for her and if I couldn't be with her skin to skin, I would pop my cyber-cherry with her. However, I told her that I wanted something more the just a one-click-stand. Now I know this sounds corny but I asked her to cyber-marry me and be my cyber-wife. She agreed and the rest is cyber-history. Now I've masturbated thousands of times before, maybe 100,000's, but this was different. It's like the difference between a late night booty-call and spending the night with someone you love. I came so hard and looked up at the monitor to see her type an 'MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
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For those who half survive. THANK YOU!
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Posted:Nov 6, 2007 12:30 am
Last Updated:Jan 10, 2010 1:41 am
3186 Views
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For those who half survive.
A battle never ending
a war we all must see.
To see the light of another day
is as sweet as victory.
Let hate of life be your enemy
find higher rank in posterity.
Teach them to fight a better way
turn victory into a brighter day.
Win the hearts and the minds
of each boy and girl,
today on your homefront,
tomorrow the world.
Give quarter to converts
in the walls of your house,
take one loving prisoner
and make them your spouse.
Honor those fallen soldiers
who have gone home for good
and dig your foxholes deep and strong
in the ground we're they once stood.
Dont shed a tear for those
whom are already dead.
Save it for the warriors
whom are still alive.
Say a prayer for all of them
at night 'fore you rest your head.
Especially for those who fight tomorrow,
For those who half survive.
I wrote this poem over 20 years ago.
It's as relavent now as it ever was.
TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE PROTECTED THIS GREAT NATION OF OURS,
YOU HAVE MY NEVER ENDING GRATITUDE!!
ThanX for the freedom and look after your soldier siblings.
GOD BLESS & Semper Fi.
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To link to this blog (rm_KirkMcGirk) use [blog rm_KirkMcGirk] in your messages.
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