I don't want my friends to know where I blog
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Posted:Jan 4, 2006 4:43 pm
Last Updated:Apr 3, 2010 2:54 pm
17889 Views
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I don't want my family and friends to know where I blog. Most of them know I have a blog, they just never have been given the address. I have followed this policy from the beginning, figuring that it might change my writing if I was aware that people close to me here IRL were reading me.
What's up with that? It's not like I am hiding something forbidden, but I have jealously guarded it anyway. Perhaps I fear mild embarassment or even ridicule, but I do not think that is really it. Maybe it's because I like having something private, special only to me, where I can go say anything I want without real life repercussions. Or possibly I just keep it close to the vest because it is simpler that way.
Is this an issue with any of y'all? Do your "people" know where you blog?
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BLOGLAND PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS: A BlogLand Christmas Carol CAST ROSTER
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Posted:Dec 14, 2005 9:16 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
17828 Views
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BLOGLAND PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS:
A BlogLand Christmas Carol
A BLOGWAY MORALITY PLAY STARRING
keithcancook AS EBENEZER SCROOGE
[blog saintlianna] AS BOB CRATCHIT
[blog expatbrit49] AS MARLEY
deliciousngood AS THE SPIRIT OF BLOGGING PAST
[blog candy69sosweet] AS YOUNG SCROOGE
Ultraviolet_69 AS VERY YOUNG SCROOGE
[blog barbiebunny] AS VERY YOUNG SCROOGE'S FRIEND
JudeL5 AS JOHN
[blog dz2502] AS PAUL
digdug41 AS GEORGE
postingnick AS RINGO
[blog luke69iner] AS GENTLEMAN #1
toothysmile AS GENTLEMAN #2
[blog travelingintexas] AS GENTLEMAN #3
bardicman AS GENTLEMAN #4
[blog 1hotwahine] AS ALICE
[blog 1SweetBitch] AS DEB
Sweetest_Sin_Jes AS MARYLIN
MaggiesWishes AS KATE
[blog Tala4u2] AS TINY TIM
TTigerAtty AS SCROOGE'S NEPHEW
[blog lioness860] AS MARTI CRATCHIT
silkysmoothlegs3 AS LUISA CRATCHIT
[blog yagottalikit] AS LORIANNE CRATCHIT
[blog mzhunyhole] AS GISELLE CRATCHIT
[blog SensuallyKatey] AS GILLIAN CRATCHIT
[blog waggypolly] AS JOHNNA CRATCHIT
starlight_runner AS LAURA CRATCHIT
AmberSolaire AS PHIL CRATCHIT
[blog hinkawaza] AS GEOFF CRATCHIT
[blog wetpantyslut2] AS MRS. CRATCHIT
[blog womenlooking4fun] AS THE SPIRIT OF BLOGGING PRESENT
[blog PrincessKarma] AS THE SPIRIT OF BLOGGING FUTURE
goddessofbitches AS A CRONE
redlipsprincess AS A FLEA MARKET VENDOR
[blog MissLilKink] AS FUNERAL GUEST #1
sexymermaid6956 AS FUNERAL GUEST #2
[blog AmishAmy] AS FUNERAL GUEST #3
frangipanigal AS FUNERAL GUEST #4
[blog FreeLove999] AS FUNERAL GUEST #5
slidein2meplz AS FUNERAL GUEST #6
[blog your_fave_MRE] AS FUNERAL GUEST #7
raptor880 AS A GEEK
[blog morefutility] AS NARRATOR #1
tillerbabe AS NARRATOR #2
humboldthonni AS NARRATOR #3
[blog LadySunrise] AS NARRATOR #4
greeneyesAtl05 AS NARRATOR #5
kats60 AS NARRATOR #6
With spinmedown AS STAND-IN FOR VERY YOUNG SCROOGE
Special guest appearances by [blog EE407]and DTduzDallas AS THEMSELVES (sorta)
OPENING NIGHT COMING SOON!
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1940 - 2005
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Posted:Dec 10, 2005 4:48 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
15420 Views
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He made me laugh. And helped me understand.
Rest In Peace, Richard Pryor.
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BlogLand Talent Search
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Posted:Dec 6, 2005 7:33 pm
Last Updated:Apr 3, 2010 1:27 am
17617 Views
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. . . . . . . . . . AFriendFinder TATTLER
BLOGLAND PRODUCTIONS ANNOUNCES CASTING CALL FOR NEW BLOGWAY PLAY
HollyBlog, Western District, BlogLand. BlogLand's premier entertainment medium, BlogLand Productions, has informed the TATTLER that it is now accepting applications from interested actors for its upcoming holiday production of A BlogLand Christmas Carol.
Sources report that numerous roles are still available. Actors will be matched with their parts at the PRODUCERS discretion. Recall for possible sequals are embedded in the contract.
No previous experience necessary. Will train.
Apply within.
BlogLand Productions' roster of BALONEY AWARD winning morality plays is the finest in the theatre-blog industry. They include Conversations From BlogLand High , The Wizard of Blogz , BLOG WARS , and It's a Wonderful Blog .
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Government Sanctioned Maturity
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Posted:Nov 28, 2005 7:58 pm
Last Updated:Sep 9, 2015 2:13 pm
17215 Views
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After completing and returning the required documents, my 18 year old has finally recieved his Official Registration Acknowledgement Card from the United States Government. He is now in the database as a potential draftee for the US military.
The government says he is old enough now to be trained to kill. Yet they refuse to sell him a lousy beer. He will be old enough for that when he is 21, according to them. Hmm, I wonder what criteria they used to delineate these levels of maturity for us?
When I was eighteen the government thought it was ok to sell me beer. Today they have changed their mind, and the law. (I wonder if there is a correlation there?) 
Oh well, at least he can vote now. 
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keithcancook's Fables: The Peacock, the Donkey, & the Fox
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Posted:Oct 30, 2005 10:14 pm
Last Updated:Jun 2, 2023 7:49 am
18383 Views
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keithcancook's Fables
The Peacock, the Donkey, & the Fox
Once upon a time there lived a peacock in a village. He was a proud peacock and believed that his morals were of the highest quality. He was honest and faithful. He had known dishonesty and unfaithfulness through the ministrations of his ex-wife, the village witch, and was keenly aware of the troubles such things bring. He minded his own affairs, and kept his nose out of his neighbors business. So he lived, for many a long year.
He had as friends a donkey and a fox. The donkey and the fox lived nearby, and they were constantly battling each other. The peacock and the fox were very close and comforted each other often as time went by. The peacock felt the anguish of the fox's distress, and became a sounding board for her vents. He also listened to the donkey, who constantly complained that the fox was of little worth, and pointed out her shortcomings.
The peacocks former wisdom began to vanish as he attempted to offer advice to both the fox and donkey, and tried to mediate in their affairs. Not only was he sticking his nose in the business of his neighbors, but he was also becoming enamored of the donkey's spouse.
With the foresight of former hindsight, the peacock knew that he must withdraw before he became further embroiled in a network of relationships that could not coexist. Yet the emotions stimulated by the fox were too strong to be overcome by reason and sanity. Instead of withdrawing, the peacock forged ahead...
Moral of the story: Pick one, this fable is ongoing...
1. Where there's smoke, there's fire.
2. They who live by robbery cannot call other men thieves.
3. Look before you leap.
4. One man's poison is another man's meat.
5. A false tale often betrays itself.
6. Those who enter by the back stairs may expect to be shown out at the window.
7. A villain may disguise himself, but he will not deceive the wise.
8. Attempt not impossibilities.
9. Avoid a remedy that is worse than the disease.
10. Some men underrate their best blessings.
11. Beware of hypocrites.
12. Count the cost before you commit yourselves.
13. Do not lay claim to a virtue you do not possess if you would keep the respect of your friends.
14. They who lay traps for others are often caught by their own bait.
15. Add your own moral here...
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22
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BlogLand Nusery Rhymes
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Posted:Oct 19, 2005 7:40 pm
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2010 9:05 pm
18836 Views
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Blondie had a little blog
she claimed was pure as snow.
Yet everywhere that blondie went
the scandals seemed to grow.
Little boy expat come blow your horn.
Your balls are now standard, your groupies forlorn.
Where is the blogger who posts a good pic?
He's down by the haystack wanking his ****!
Hey, tiller, diddle,
the girl, she likes to fiddle.
She bends and gives us the moon.
The bloggers all clapped to see such sport
as tiller came hard and swooned.
keithcancook sat on a blog.
keithcancook can't write in a fog.
all the blog women and all the blog men,
couldn't get keithie to pick up his pen.
Eency Weency Katey
triked up the blogging spout
Down came some rain
and wiped her blog right out.
Up came the sun
and writing through the pain
Eency Weency Katey
triked up and blogged again.
Ha ha koocnachtiek
Are you such a fool?
No sir, no sir,
my master is uncool.
He makes me do the dumbest things,
and makes me sound innane.
I hope you all will understand
he's really quite insane.
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Bloggers Sans Blogs
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Posted:Oct 14, 2005 3:45 pm
Last Updated:Jun 10, 2020 2:30 pm
28552 Views
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We are bloggers. We write blogs. We read blogs. We interact with bloggers through commenting. Over time, we have built a community of bloggers. A community where we are individually unique, yet bound together through interaction.
This community is like any other. Some members have moved away, and new members have migrated in. Some members are quiet, others loud and boisterous. Disagreements abound, yet are usually handled civilly. Scandals pop up on occasion, but as in most communities these are rare. Some of us are in complete control of their faculties, others are quite obviously insane.
Our community is represented by bloggers of varying means. There are bloggers who reside in MAGNIFICENT blog mansions, situated on the most prestigious property in ALL BlogLand. Yep, right on MAIN PAGE WAY, gloriously displayed for all to see. Others do quite well along their own less traveled streets and boulevards. All seems well and good.
Yet, our community also has those who do not have a nice blog to live in. Yes, that's right. The Blogless. These are fine citizens of BlogLand, who have chosen to eschew the usual blogging lifestyle. They wander the streets of BlogLand without a blog of their own to call home.
Some of them are quite active. Crisscrossing our boulevards on a daily basis, occasionally dropping in for a little conversation. Others simply cruise the streets, gazing at blogs with barely a whisper of evidence that they even passed by. Yet they are out there. You have seen them. The Blogless are among us.
To ,
. . . . . . JudeL5 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4plait,
ultraviolet_69, and all the rest of the blogless community; this one's for you...
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25
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Illusionary Comments
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Posted:Oct 13, 2005 8:19 am
Last Updated:Mar 7, 2006 7:41 am
17522 Views
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I have been noticing that many of my comments are not sticking where I leave them. It is difficult to tell sometimes. For instance, when I go back to the post where I commented, I can see my comment there. But when I check it against the Most Recent Responses by keithcancook section in my blog it is not there.
To investigate further, I logged in as a guest to see if the dang comments were visible. I did this after 48 hours, just to be sure that plenty of time has passed for this slow-assed site to post them. Nope, no comment was there.
So, while I can see my comment logged in as keithcancook, when logged in under koocnachtiek or as a guest it is not visible at all. WTF? I suppose this means that the site has fooled me to think that my comments are sticking, when in fact the dang things are only an illusion. Grrr, blogging can be so frustrating here...
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14
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Blogal Warming Threatens BlogLand
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Posted:Oct 12, 2005 10:52 am
Last Updated:Oct 8, 2015 6:39 am
16821 Views
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. . . . . . . . . . AFriendFinder TATTLER
. . . . . . . . . . BLOGAL WARMING THREATENS BLOGLAND!
. . . . . . . . . WEATHER POST STUDY CONFIRMS WORST FEARS
BlogLand University, BlogLand. Completing their study of old weather posts found in [blog expatbrit49]'s basement, and comparing them with more recent weather posts found throughout BlogLand, researchers have concluded that Blogal Warming is indeed a threat to blogging as we know it.
Beginning with the graphic nature of [blog sexyfitwoman]'s photographs, and supplemented by an explosion of hot pix generated by the influx of new bloggers, BlogLand U. meteorologists have concluded that these pictures have raised the temperature of the blogosphere by several degrees.
While this will not affect us during our own blogtime, our blogchildren may suffer severe consequences.
Researchers are divided as to what steps should be taken to offset our reliance upon sexy pix. Some hold that the only way to preserve our present condition is to limit the number of hot, naked pictures imported to our shores, along with economizing our present usage.
Others disagree, and believe that quotas will affect businesses (namely the Sunshine Strippers), and that it is not so much the heat generated by the pix, but rather the heat generated by so many bloggers masturbating over them at once. They believe that careful rationing of masturbation activities will help dissapate the heat and reduce blogal warming. They recommend limiting masturbation activity to odd and even days according to birth date.
Master debators from both sides of the issue will gather at Fornication Hall on the campus of good ol BlogLand University to debate the newly released study next week. Letters to the editor of the AFriendFinder TATTLER will be admitted into the debate and serve as a means for the people of BlogLand to be heard.
The PUBLISHER
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Tied To The Blogging Post... A History of The Venting Blog
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Posted:Oct 9, 2005 8:07 pm
Last Updated:Aug 25, 2015 6:55 pm
17165 Views
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The Venting Blog was launched on March 23, 2005 as an attempt to reveal more about keithcancook than could be done in a profile. The purpose behind it was to capture the interest of local women so I could date them. That purpose changed almost immedieatly as I discovered that writing was an enjoyable pastime and that I had somewhat of a talent for it. My thoughts on blogging and related issues can be found in Browsing Profiles vs BloggingMy First Week on AFF and Blog Evolution.
I told some true adventure stories in those early days as well. My favorite one is keithcancook Nearly Meets His Maker reprise, and Epilogue to keithcancook Nearly Meets His Maker. Another adventure tale is the Vacation Comedy series: A Vacation Comedy, The Further Misadventures of A Vacation Comedy, Yet More Of A Vacation Comedy, Storming Through A Vacation Comedy, Shards of A Vacation Comedy, and Epilogue To A Vacation Comedy. Finally there was the Stupid College Pranks series consisting of Stupid College Pranks, More Stupid College Pranks, and Stupid College Pranks conclusion.
I goofed around a lot during those early days, posting on a hodgepodge of subjects. I slowly but surely began to get noticed by the established blogging community. I did a music post in Acts I Have Witnessed. I generated my most comments to date with Role Reversal, which was prompted by my friend greeneyesatl05, and her hilarious sarcasm concerning the emails she recieved.
Encouraged by the response, and desiring even more readers (I want my work to be noticed and discussed) I pondered what steps I should take next. I decided I wanted to inject some conceptuality into my blog. Things that would recur from time to time giving my blog character and continuity. More importantly, I decided to change the focus of the blog from personal musings into an entertainment for my readers. I launched a newspaper and created characters to support it.
During this time I came to realize that my blog was bugged. Unknown to me, it had been bugged since its conception with a variety of problems. It's name, The Venting Blog, was only visible to me. Everyone else knew it as My Blog. Also, none of my readers could enter it into their Most Watched List. On top of that, even though I had hundreds of comments, I did not appear on the Men's Popular List. I was invisible. Blogs with 9 total comments were on that list but not The Venting Blog. I was a paying member in those days, but letters to the site authorities failed to get results. A few fans attempted to help. My ol pal expatbrit49 and my good friend nightstogether spent more than a little time in the effort. Nights made a campaign out of it and successfully had the bug removed after weeks of trying. Overnight I hit not only the lists, but the front page of the lists as well. Fame had come to The Venting Blog at last.
The AFriendFinder TATTLER was founded in EXTRA EXTRA Read All About It. Needing stories, I developed some characters. Namely The PUBLISHER, and THE LURKER. I went into my ol pal expat's basement, and with the help of my cub reporter BLONDENEEDSSEX, wreaked havoc in his cellar. I ended up with my main character The PUBLISHER, as an insane meglomaniac bent on taking control of my fictional setting which was BlogLand. During this time, I began to make heavy use of my comment area to develop and create background for my stories.
The PUBLISHER's madness and developing events can be found in From The Publishers Private Notebook, Controversy Emerging In Blogland TATTLER Exclusive, another peek into From The Publishers Private Notebook, A PUBLISHERS Call To Arms and Legs, and Lips, and tongues, and oh nevermind, COMMENT BUG CONTAINED A TATTLER EXCLUSIVE REPORT, and BlogLand ROCKED BY LURKER REVELATIONS.
I am especially fond of my writing in The Butcher, The Baker and The Candlestick Maker, where much was explained then wrapped up in the comment area. This led to an amusing interlude with HELP I AM STUCK IN A COMMENT BOX AND I CANNOT GET OUT, which began in the comment area of the previous post. It was here that my fixation with the CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER of things became appearent.
After that I decided to become a television producer and launched HOLLYBLOG SQUARES. The storyline continued in WARDROBE MALFUNCTION RESULTS IN CANCELLATION OF HOLLYBLOG SQUARES TATTLER EXCLUSIVE and LAWSUITS THREATENED OVER HOLLYBLOG SQUARES A TATTLER EXCLUSIVE.
At this point, the dreaded ONE COMMENT GLITCH hit the blogosphere, effectively destroying my modus operendi and limiting me to a point that I decided I could no longer blog. I shut down my blog and decided to be a commenter only. (For those of you who don't know, this bug limited each blogger to one comment only per post). This occurred in New Bug Shuts Down The Venting Blog. That bug lasted several days. Everyone created second profiles in order to comment more than once, and here koocnachtiek was born. He has been my faithful companion ever since.
Then an amusing thing occured. A blogger named MysticWriter attacked me in his blog. A weeklong brou-ha-ha resulted which I observed with interest. Somewhat peeved, I reopened my blog to answer him. But then I had a change of heart and deleted the post along with over 25 comments from folks supporting me. I did not want to fuel the fued and besides, I liked the guy anyway. A few months ago I brought it back since I thought it was a pretty good essay and I put a lot of effort into it. That one is NOT SO FUNNYTHE VENTING BLOG WEIGHS IN.
Back blogging again, I felt I needed something new. I was beginning to like controversies in BlogLand. They seemed to put energy into the place. So I decided to see what would happen if I dissed women. Looking for just the right opening, I saw a post by txrose4uNTX called Great Quotes by Great Women or something to that effect. My answer to her post was Great Quotes By a Chauvinist Male, and pigcancook was born.
Suddenly all the men vanished from commenting in my blog. Or if they did come in they made sure to keep their distance from Mr. Pig. As predicted, the women banded together and flocked to my blog to subdue the pigster. Still the men stayed away. What a bunch of wimps, I thought. At that point I force-recruited some of them and the PECCARYS were founded.
Thus the War of the PECCARYS began, pitted against a band of females headquartered in purejoy4fem's dungeon in NYC. Most of that war occurred in the comment areas of many different bloggers and would be difficult to document. The other pigcancook posts were SHAMEFUL CONTEST IN BLOGLAND, Women Trying To Act Like Men ROFLMFAO, and The Squeal of the Swine. I am particularly fond of SHAMEFUL CONTEST IN BLOGLAND, where I did a role reversal and became a stripper participating in a wet t-shirt contest.
Everything got put on hold as the Great BlogLand Elections got underway. I was recruited by my ol pal to run for mayor against the reigning Queen of BlogLand sexyfitwoman. I was a bit bemused by the affair, and thought that it seemed to leave many bloggers out of the loop. I used the election theme as an excuse to write one of my all time great posts; The Wizard of Blogz.
I then attacked the election by producing my first morality play, Conversations From BlogLand High. I just love to stir up trouble it seems, and I gleefully ripped the elections by comparing them to a form of sophomoric elitism.
With summer now upon us, and purejoy on hiatus, I dropped all the games and settled in with some personal rememberences. The Grandma Manuscripts were released. These light hearted stories are both touching and amusing. They are: keithcancook39s grandmother, Grandmother's In The Attic, Grandma and the Fleas, Grandma And The Angels, and Grandma and the Snake. I think my favorite one is Grandma and the Fleas. All of them are true stories.
I posted less and less as the summer wore on. I was knocked off the front page by newer and more prolific bloggers with fresher material. In the meantime, BlogLand was changing due to a population explosion which continues to this day. It seemed the sense of community was fading somewhat, but mostly I think I rather hit a wall. Also, I was missing some of the many early bloggers who were my friends, but left blogging for good. Looking over BlogLand now, I see that the community is strong, and there is a lot of love being spread around. I am very happy to be a part of it.
Some of my favorite posts during this period were Prom, Dancing Faces, and Beauty Knows No Pain. On a dare, I posted my high school prom pic in testing in search of banned words, which revealed my eyes to BlogLand.
I got creative again with the publication of The BlogLand Cookbook which was a lot of fun to write. Also written at this time was The Rolling Stones In BlogLand, which I really enjoyed putting together.
BlogLand seemed to be getting stale for me again until the Blog Padding Controversy ignited. Like an answer to a prayer, it was a great opportunity to write some more of the satire that I love. I decided to produce another morality play for this one, and it was a true BlogBuster. I suppose that most of my present readers will remember it, since it is still on my front page. Of course, it is BLOG WARS. I had a blast writing that one, and loud guffaws and high-pitched peals of evil laughter emanated from my studio as I wrote it. When I am truly inspired, writing is sooooo much FUN!
So here I sit. The Venting Blog has reached its 100th post. A milestone I have been anticipating for quite awhile. (I wonder, is anyone still with me? Jeeze, this post sure is longer than most of my other ones). I imagine many will have been daunted by the length of it, but I don't give a rip. For me, writing this history was like a jog down memory lane, and through it all I have been enjoying the memories that were conjured up. I hope some of y'all have smiled right along with me. I love you all, and I hope that y'all will be with me as we continue to
BLOG ON!
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To link to this blog (keithcancook) use [blog keithcancook] in your messages.
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