Thank you
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Posted:Dec 13, 2007 10:32 pm
Last Updated:Dec 14, 2011 11:28 am
8033 Views
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Thank you for stopping by my little section of the world. Inside here you will find glimpses into my life and into my mind. I promise you that they will be as uncut and uncensored as possible. The person that you read about below is me. My highs, and my lows are laid out before you for your reading pleasure.
So, thank you for coming to my little blog and experencing me. While you are here, why don't you say hi. Tell me what you think, what you feel. We grow by experiencing one another. Share your experiences with me, and I will share mine with you.
To those that follow my blog (Muahahahaha... and I know who you are), a sincere and heartfelt thanks specifically to each of you.
Be well all
Oh, and the good posts (Ie.. the ones people tell me are good like 'The Theory of Emotional Investment' and 'The Art of Touch') are a little ways back. Please stop by and read (AND COMMENT!) away on anything and everything.
D
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100!
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Posted:Apr 6, 2008 6:42 am
Last Updated:Dec 14, 2011 11:29 am
7215 Views
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WOO! It only took me a couple of years.. several hundred gallons of Caffine, and a couple of serious heartaches to get to this point... but here I am at my 100th blog posting.
YAY ME!
As the world sits, this blog has been the most positive thing that has come out of my membership to Affairlook. I have had the pleasure of meeting some really wonderful people. I have had a chance to look into their lives and share with them... and they have had the chance to share with me.
I have had the chance to be open about things that, in all honesty, I could never express verbally. I have also been extremely fortunate in that the people who have shared with me... have done so in a kind and supportive matter... especially when I needed it most.
To everyone who has read this blog...to everyone who has contributed a comment... Thank you. If not for you, I would have gotten bored and given up a long time ago.
So, here goes! Again, this is going to be a blog where I will not share your responses unless you give me express permission to. What I ask is this:
Tell me anything. You can tell me some deep dark secret of yours... you can tell me a joke... you can tell me I am a fugly SOB... you can ask me 3 questions... anything you want. Whatever you post... I will reply in kind. You have my word... nothing gets shared beyond the two of us... unless you want to.
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I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKK
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Posted:Dec 14, 2011 11:39 am
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 5:10 pm
6850 Views
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Ok, seriously I have no idea why I am back here. I guess its more just to see if I can actually reconnect with some of the wonderful bloggers I knew before.
So, if anyone has any leads... or is still going to get a ping about me.. lemme know
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Things that will get you slapped
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Posted:Mar 7, 2009 2:06 am
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 5:10 pm
6761 Views
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Just so you guys know... there are certain things you should NEVER EVER say to a woman. Here are some that I have learned about, the hard way.
-I know your eyes are up there, but these are more interesting to talk to.
-What? Sorry, I was thinking about sex.
-Your friend has a great ass!
-Do you mind if I drive? I'm not wanting to die today.
-Did you forget your meds again?
-Do I have plans? I was thinking about about hitting the titty bar with my buddys tonight.
-Shhhh! Sportscenter is on!
-Would you mind wearing a skirt tonight? I'd like to see what its like to wear the pants in this relationship.
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Your favorite parts....
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Posted:Mar 2, 2009 12:36 am
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 5:10 pm
6755 Views
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Now, before I start this I want to cut the crap out. There are certain parts of the human body that are inherantly more likely to draw people's attention than other parts. Either that, or we just say these parts to make ourselves sound less like sex-driven creatures. Everyone knows what I am saying:
Eyes
Smile
Hair
Now, before anyone gets outraged or indignant, I do love those parts. You can see parts of a person's soul in their eyes. Hair, well who wants to date someone who has ratty never washed or combed birdnest on their head? Smile? Come on everyone knows at least one person who can light up the world with one grin.
Then again, those are standard generic compliments. I know a lot of people who use those when they have nothing else to compliment the person on. My CAT has beautiful eyes for example.
Now, I have no IDEA why a woman is attracted to a man. Maybe its because I am unabashedly hetro, or the fact that I've lived with the particular equipment for so long, I dont know why anyone else would want to play with 'em. But, having talked to a lot of fellow men (at the secret club meetings ladies. Yes we have those. When we say we are going to have to work late, that's code for we're meeting at the clubhouse for a discussion.)
General Consensus has men falling into one of 3 catagories:
Legs
Boobs
Butt
I've known guys who have persued total bitches or triple baggers because they happen to have long legs, a great ass, or epic boobs. I don't claim to be any better. Me, I'm a legs/butt man... but with a weird kink. I'm all about the SHAPE not the epicness of the particual part. A tight round booty or well shaped legs just do it for me... even a perfectly perky pair of hooters (dont wanna keep saying boobs by the way. That can be another post... all the little names we have for different parts!). I admit one of my biggest turn OFFS is Magnificantly Mega Mammaries. Heck, a D cup pushes it for me. I guess the problem is I have known too many heavy chested gals in my life to see them as anything other than back problems.
Of course, now that I am thinking about it, there are some other parts that while they don't get the attention of the "Big Three" definately get clearance for take off.
The stomach
Small of the back
Neck
YUM! Nice flat soft stomach (which is causing problems with one of the gals I know. SHe's aiming for at least an 8 pack) is soo kissable. So is the small of the back and neck.
Speaking of kissing, how could I forget the lips? Ladies you have it soo much better than we guys do. You are blessed with lips that just BEG to be kissed.
So here is my question to all of you in blogland. What is/are your favorite parts of the opposite sex... and why?
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The Sexual Symphony
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Posted:Feb 20, 2009 11:33 pm
Last Updated:Dec 14, 2011 11:30 am
7069 Views
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Has anyone else noticed this? As you become a more skilled partner (or more in tune with your current source of nookie) you are able to do things to them that you couldn't in those first frenzied attempts at pleasure?
I'm honestly starting to see sex along the lines of conducting a symphony, and your partner's body makes up the insturments.
Imagine if you will, a woman's body is like a piano. I know, horrible image, but hold on:
Everyone can press the keys and most of us can eek out a shaky rendition of "Twinkle Twinkle" (or in my case "Ode to Joy") because after tinkering around with the keys you recognize pitches. Within minutes you are able to piece together a simplistic string of notes that has you grinning like a maniac because YOU...MADE...MUSIC.
A woman's body is similar. Every woman has certain "keys" that if you "twink" them right, something happens. The ears, neck, clitoris, nipples are all like those little keys on a piano. Everyone knows them, and you string them together and end up grinning like a maniac because YOU...MADE... ORGASM.
Eventually, as you learn to read your partner better (or she opens up to you more) you get to find out what some of her other "keys" are. Some women like to be spanked (YAY!) and others like it a bit rougher. Instead of kissing and sucking on her neck and nipples (respectively) some women enjoy a light (or not so light as the case may be) bite. Another girl may like to have her hair pulled, or really enjoy dressing up.
Its not just women who have these keys, men have them too. Personally, I enjoy roleplay and kissing (and being kissed) all over the body. I've also developed a taste for being slightly dominant and slightly more risque behavior. Another guy might like having his balls tickled while he gets blown. Whatever floats your boat...
Thing is, you dont automatically KNOW these things. You have to practice and study to figure them out, just like you have to practice with a musical insturment.
Once you have them though... you've graduated from "Twinkle Twinkle" to "Brandonberg Concerto No 5". Congrats.
So, here is my question to all of you in blog-ville (which I am coming to believe is a suburb of Whoville):
What are your "keys" and what are some of the best general "keys" you have learned?
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The Week of Oddness that was this week
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Posted:Nov 30, 2008 6:37 pm
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 5:10 pm
6758 Views
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I've been on this site for quite some time, and while I have met some really great people off this site... it really hasn't done a bit to boost my sex life. Well, except for fueling a few fantasies (Pixx... I still want to do naughty things to you!).
So, basically this site has provided just friends. Really great friends, but friends.
I'm also on a couple of other sites like Match and Eharmony. Eharmony *shudder* has provided nothing for me other than (and I say this with as much kindness as I can manage) undesireables. Most are unattractive and/or way too far away for me to even consider dating. To be honest with you, as much as I adore Pixx and Muah and several other ladies on here, I honestly dont think I would ever date them... distance and all.
Before this goes further, I need to explain something. With what is my tradidtional work schedule, it is extremely hard to meet people to date. I usually work either weekends or some funky hours like an overnight shift or whatever. When you sleep during the day... and work overnights... Dates dont come too easily.
Match, on the other hand... has provided some really interesting people.. AND several dates. Plus.. for some odd reason.. Your friendly neighborhood Dave got laid with a girl from Match... AND an attractive gal to boot... AND I didnt have to pay her!
WOW, talk about a confidence boost. NOt only had she come on to me, but .. she was the one who initiated the whole encounter. My mind is still spinning a bit.
My question folks... is how does that happen???
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8 simple Dave-care rules
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Posted:Nov 27, 2008 8:21 pm
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 5:10 pm
6812 Views
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Just some simple rules for keeping your Dave happy, healthy and full of Vim and Vigor.
1) Daves in isolation tend to develop poor grooming habits and questionable mating practices. To prevent this, play with your Dave on a regular basis. Not only will this help your Dave develop proper habits, but will help your Dave develop a shiny and healty coat.
2)Daves are simple and uncomplicated creatures and are therefore unable to understand the simple nuances of some Games that are played. Please do not confuse your Dave with Games as it very traumatic to all Daves and could quite possibly lead to the Mange.
3)Daves in captivity need a high protein and high starch diet to maintain optimal show health. Do not try and feed your Dave trendy Soy-based diets as this could cause some ...awkward gastric problems. Trust your breeder and stick to the diet they put your Dave on.
4)Daves are social creatures who thrive on physical and verbal contact. Do not ignore your Dave, as all this will do is create a sullen and angry Dave...which leads to biting and other nastyness. As a side note, you should ensure that your Dave has had all of its shots BEFORE you leave it for a long trip.
5)Daves tend to be territorial, so please understand this when introducing strangers into your Dave's environment. A Dave feeling threatened may mark his territory, which will lead to hours of cleaning for you.
6)At some point in time, your Dave will develop an unusual sleep pattern. This is not a reason to be concerned, as your Dave is just undergoing a natural cycle. A well trained Dave can even provide wonderful wake ups for you!
7) Your Dave has highly developed senses. The best ways to play with your Dave involve stimulating his visual, olafactory, and auditory senses. Should your Dave become overstimulated, a few soft pets will bring your Dave back down.
 While crossbreading has become the latest fad amonst most people, crossbreeding your Dave can be rather problematic. Under no circumstance should you expose your Dave to the following species, as your Dave will become hostile in their presence:
-The Red Crested
-Any of the Backstabber subspecies
-Mall Bunnies
-The Muscleheaded Toepicker
-The Missouri -Lizard
-The Green Striped Bimbo-Loon
-Most of the Tigger variants.
Beyond these species, your Dave is usually friendly to others. Should you have any questions, please feel free to contact your Breeder.
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8 simple Dave-care rules
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Posted:Nov 27, 2008 8:17 pm
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 5:10 pm
6809 Views
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Just some simple rules for keeping your Dave happy, healthy and full of Vim and Vigor.
1) Daves in isolation tend to develop poor grooming habits and questionable mating practices. To prevent this, play with your Dave on a regular basis. Not only will this help your Dave develop proper habits, but will help your Dave develop a shiny and healty coat.
2)Daves are simple and uncomplicated creatures and are therefore unable to understand the simple nuances of some Games that are played. Please do not confuse your Dave with Games as it very traumatic to all Daves and could quite possibly lead to the Mange.
3)Daves in captivity need a high protein and high starch diet to maintain optimal show health. Do not try and feed your Dave trendy Soy-based diets as this could cause some ...awkward gastric problems. Trust your breeder and stick to the diet they put your Dave on.
4)Daves are social creatures who thrive on physical and verbal contact. Do not ignore your Dave, as all this will do is create a sullen and angry Dave...which leads to biting and other nastyness. As a side note, you should ensure that your Dave has had all of its shots BEFORE you leave it for a long trip.
5)Daves tend to be territorial, so please understand this when introducing strangers into your Dave's environment. A Dave feeling threatened may mark his territory, which will lead to hours of cleaning for you.
6)At some point in time, your Dave will develop an unusual sleep pattern. This is not a reason to be concerned, as your Dave is just undergoing a natural cycle. A well trained Dave can even provide wonderful wake ups for you!
7) Your Dave has highly developed senses. The best ways to play with your Dave involve stimulating his visual, olafactory, and auditory senses. Should your Dave become overstimulated, a few soft pets will bring your Dave back down.
While crossbreading has become the latest fad amonst most people, crossbreeding your Dave can be rather problematic. Under no circumstance should you expose your Dave to the following species, as your Dave will become hostile in their presence:
-The Red Crested
-Any of the Backstabber subspecies
-Mall Bunnies
-The Muscleheaded Toepicker
-The Missouri -Lizard
-The Green Striped Bimbo-Loon
-Most of the Tigger variants.
Beyond these species, your Dave is usually friendly to others. Should you have any questions, please feel free to contact your Breeder.
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The Week that never was
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Posted:Oct 8, 2008 7:20 pm
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 5:10 pm
6798 Views
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Life flows like a river. The Ebbs and Ripples of time carry us down a course that is both beyond our control and yet imminently of our own chosing. We laugh, we live, we make grilled cheese sammiches. Each bend that we come to, each choice we make, moves us from one current to another... sweeping us along.
Such was the week I had. I could have worked at the Houston Food Bank to help those still suffering from the after effects of Ike. I could have gone down to a homeless shelter and given my time. Habitat for Humanity surely could have used even my relatively skilleless hands.
Then again, I could also have stripped naked and ran through Downtown.
Instead?
I played video games. Bought a new computer. Talked to a couple of friends. In general, I was immensely selfish with this past week. Thing is? It was MY week to do with as I wished.
All I needed was a bag of Funyons!
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Digging in the Dirt
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Posted:Aug 14, 2008 4:15 pm
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2009 10:35 pm
6969 Views
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Sometimes I find myself looking back at my life and wondering where the hell I wasted it all at.
Here is what I mean:
I am 33 years old, single, and with a history of squandered chances that litter my past. True, an optimist would say that those weren't where I was suppose to go with my life and that I am on the course that I am suppose to be on.
Still, sometimes I wonder...
I've been doing a lot of that recently. I guess it is that time of the year, ya know? Something about the end of summer makes me reflective.
I wonder what would have happened if I had stayed in college at ACU. Would I have ended up living the dream of my youth? Would I have ended up traveling overseas?
What would have happened if I hadn't joined the Air Force? Would I have ended up in another dead end job? Would I have gone back to school? Maybe I would have ended up working for one of the companies that was recruiting me prior to joining...
What if I had stayed in? Where would I be? What would I be doing? Would I be toiling away at some nameless job? Would I have been shipped to Iraq? Would I have a Purple Heart... or a tombstone?
Got to ask you, my few loyal readers, to dig in your dirt. What decisions do you regret?
D
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Thoughts
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Posted:Jul 28, 2008 10:45 am
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 5:10 pm
6857 Views
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I believe:
This world would make more sense if I was less sane…
Women REALLY rule the world..
There is no such thing as strangers… just crime statistics you have yet to meet.
John Wayne would beat the hell out of any man he saw wearing pink.
No man is an island… unless he farts in the pool.
If given the choice between two evils… man will always chose the one that sounds more fun.
That if all else fails, you can always blame your parents for not hugging you enough.
Those who are scared of changing just haven’t watched the right person do it yet.
Sex is one of those activities no one regrets spending too much time doing.
You should always make sure your resume is up to date… before you invite your girlfriend over for fun in the bosses’ office.
If your name makes people giggle for more than 5 seconds, you should legally be allowed to beat your parents.
Cheeze Whiz, the stuff in baby’s diapers, and the line of LA LOOK hair products are toxic.
Scientist should capture Sean Connery, Harrison Ford, and Brad Pitt. They could then force them to labor away whilst collecting the sweat. That sweat could help anyone get laid.
The more you look at something, the more your eyes will cross.
No one has ever died from receiving a Wedgie. Therefore, this should become our primary battle technique.
That if sized mattered we would have already found a way to make it bigger
If size didn’t matter we wouldn’t obsess about it so much.
should be seen and not heard…unless you have REALLY ugly .
I believe that trading freedom for safety is tantamount to throwing away free will… which is the greatest of sins.
We shouldn’t listen to actors. Most of the time we don’t pay them to see THEM...we pay them to see them be someone else.
Tom Brady is the Antichrist
The greatest ill facing society is stupidity.
Batman could kick anyone’s ass… except John Wayne
That if a man’s home is his castle… we should be allowed to throw flaming pitch at door-to-door solicitors.
The people who want to “Live Fast, Die Young, and leave a beautiful Corpse” will end up old and ugly driving 35 mph down the freeway.
Vegans should be treated like other herbivores…allowed to form herds and then be eaten by those of us who eat meat.
An even better alternative to Wedgie-warfare is the judicious use of breasts in combat. Simply put, the side that can produce the best rack would be able to stun the other side into submission.
I should be able to greet my ex girlfriends with a hearty, Snow White caliber “HI HO!”
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sweating my balls off...
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Posted:Jul 25, 2008 5:51 pm
Last Updated:Dec 11, 2008 9:16 pm
6985 Views
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For those of you who have no concept of what Houston summers are like:
When I was growing up, it wasnt uncommon to see people frying eggs on the sidewalks.
Keeping this in mind, my buddy Beth decided to move her heavy crap today. Many things were discovered:
Dildos can be washed in the dishwasher. Beth has Neopolatin Panties. All three of us have bellies too white for our own good.
It was Beth, me, and my buddy Sean (who is about 6'5" 350lbs.). We managed to get her loaded up, and driven ACROSS HOUSTON! Once we got to her new apartment, I should mention it was around noon.
What killed us was her mattress.
At least after getting it up into her bedroom, now she can say she had two men in her bed.
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To link to this blog (jesternz001) use [blog jesternz001] in your messages.
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