Quick One Line Jokes
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Posted:Aug 12, 2009 9:20 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 4:9 am
4674 Views
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1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2.. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
20. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
21. A backward poet writes inverse.
22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your Count that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
24 Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
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A warning to us all ...
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Posted:Aug 5, 2009 8:41 pm
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2009 10:29 am
4721 Views
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From the Associated Press • August 3, 2009,
STOCKBRIDGE – Four Wisconsin women are accused of tying up and assaulting a married man after allegedly finding out he was romantically involved with each of them.
The women are each charged with being party to false imprisonment, a felony with a maximum prison term of six years. One is charged with fourth-degree sexual assault.
Calumet County prosecutors say 48-year-old Therese A. Ziemann of Menasha lured the man to a Stockbridge motel last Thursday. Prosecutors say she was soon joined by 43-year-old Michelle Belliveau of Neenah; 43-year-old Wendy L. Sewell of Kaukauna; and the man’s wife.
Authorities say Ziemann punched the man in the face and glued his penis to his stomach.
The Associated Press is not naming the victim’s wife to protect the man’s identity as a victim of sexual assault.
The women are free on $200 cash bails.
That has got to hurt.
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