Drive on.....Fantasy#2
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Posted:Apr 2, 2008 10:35 am
Last Updated:Jan 2, 2014 4:01 am
52972 Views
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Yes I know not Friday..did I mention I hate my own rules? 
A fantasy inspired/suggested by [blog stryder58]..thanks for the idea my friend ..enjoy! 
Dew clung to the truck in the pre-dawn darkness. Clad in jeans and shirt, half buttoned coat, he fired her up and began his trek to her.
Strains of a melody surrounded him as the pick up bounced along the road.
A smile broke upon his face the nearer he got he scanned ahead to catch the first glimpse of her. He offered to take her along ..to take her with him on his little journey to the quiet of the woods.
He hoped and she accepted, he grinned.
The thermos of coffee rolled back and forth across the seat..soon to be replaced..by something softer..warmer..her.
Against the dark shadows of the tall pines and the early morning light fog..she was nothing more than a shadowed spectre. A movement..slight but there..a trick of the eye..causing a jerk of awakening below his seat belt. His heart ..his heart of course..but another ..yes another awakened as well one that was looking forward today as well.
Slowed to a stop and reaching across the seat to unlock her door, before jumping out to open it for her..her chariot awaited. Coming around the back of the truck there was no sign, no sign of her that was just there..reaching the door and looking in the cab he sees the mischievous grin and the sparkle of her eyes looking back at him and a warmth spreads throughout him.
Heading back around..back around to to drive on, with the thermos..and its replacement beside him,..her. Taking his place and shifting into gear he looks over and sees that smile, that smile that makes time stop, slow down, not exist. It is there, for him, only him.
She holds the thermos that bumped his thigh..holds it between hers warming her..warming it and makes him grin. Her movements slight as they bounce along the old country road in the dark...only light from the dash illuminating her face in a soft blue glow. Hair dancing playfully from the open window..caressing her..as he wants to. Rounding a corner she slides a bit towards him, oh so close, but not close enough..next turn, next turn taken a little sharper, perhaps she will be closer yet. He can hope, as he grins.
She turns in her seat to face him, hand moving down her button down coat, undoing, unbuttoning slowly down. Revealing the soft flannel that was to keep her warm and dry..safe from chills.
Keeping a steady gaze forward but looking over at my passenger ..I watch the coat slip off shoulders..soft shoulders ..shoulders needing a hug wrapped in larger stronger arms..arms like mine.
Small hands unbuttoning a few on the shirt..just enough for a glimpse of the gentle swells beneath..just within reach ..just barely hidden. Cloth rolling off shoulders, soft warm shoulders needing to be kissed. A sight she is..teasing..playing, awakening more than the trees as they pass..awakening more.
Wood nymph made flesh for him, beside him, for him to pleasure, to take pleasure in. Hair dancing now, beckoning him to take hold not miss this chance to become one with other worldly pleasures.
A sight to behold to take ..now.
Pulling off the road ..an abandoned road that he knows of, that he remembers very few visit, where they won't be disturbed.
Halting the pick up truck, turning to look at her..a noise escapes past his parted lips, a sigh , a longing, an primal grunt of desire.
She comes near, straddles his lap and looks at him as he cups her face pulling her closer to kiss softly , then a little harder as tongues probe, testing ..testing the waters in which they will dive, soon...soon enough.
Peeling back the cloth from the shoulders, smooth soft skin..brushing lips against it inhaling the gentle scent of soap and of a woman.
Sliding the shirt down further till it pools around her waist , cupping her breasts holding them together before his face..before he buries his face between their warmth and just breathes them in. Fingers trembling as they move deftly across the hardening nipples , as they guide the puckered flesh into his warm wet mouth. Suckling gently, circling with the tongue wanting to etch this map into memory cells not to forget not to lose.
Reaching up to cup the face to bring him to her lips..kissing harder now feeling her hands tangle in the waves of his hair, holding him close. Lips cannot stay, they tend to wander, want to wander back south, over the soft neck back to the breasts as they heave upwards wanting the same.
Hearing a soft sound, feeling the soft sounds as they escape her lips brought on by him. Moving hands round to her back leaning back hearing her gasp as the seat reclines with us, a grin from him and a smile from her, as mouths meet again. Hands moving south down the slope of her back pulling her closer, tighter against him, feeling her against him.
Flurry of hands unbuttoning, unfastening, pulling back , pulling off, the remainder of clothing between the softness of bodies so close. Holding her in large gentle arms, turning in the seat..laying her down ever so gently beneath him.
Leaning down to suckle on the erect nipples once again, her hands guide me south pushing me lower. Soft kisses trail across the stomach, probing into her belly button making her laugh, making her relax and arch a little upwards.
Kneeling between her legs scooping hands beneath her womanly fullness, holding the cradle of life lifting it, hooking legs over shoulders. Pulling her closer, catching the scent..the moist womanly scent of arousal, a banquet of, for the senses.
Gliding his cheek against the inner thigh towards his feast wanting , not wanting to hold back, needing to taste, nuzzling against the moist blossom, teasing it open with the tip of his tongue..coaxing it to bloom for him, licking it , parting the lips, rubbing his nose against the soft down greeting him as he partakes of the succulent swollen petals.
Awakening..awakening a fire that sparked now was warming and heating and beginning to blaze for him and in him.
Time disappears, stops perhaps..becomes non existent as he dines and sates his desire, as he changes her landscape making her wetter, more swollen...more heady of scent filling the truck to arouse both further.
Rising up , lowering her some..legs on shoulders become ankles on shoulders, cannot hold back any longer, bracing with arms above, looking down, leaning down to share the sweetness with the owner and to look, look into the her eyes as I join with her, her awareness that we are becoming one. Gliding easily between the swollen puffy lips, feeling enveloped becoming enveloped, welcomed deep within her heated core.
Kissing more firmly, entering slowly, fully surrounded by her..by the heat of the woman. Slow movements, looking, feeling for hints..as she sets the pace in which we move. Rocking slow, a rhythm of a gentle pace a deep fulfilling pace..her hands moving south grabbing hold..taking the wheel urging me onward, increasing, thrusting, driving it home..onward now, ever onward. A deep kiss probing tongues fueling the fires, the desires.
Arms shaking thrusting ever faster..ever deeper..wanting to lose myself buried inside of her..wanting to return home..needing to become one melting together
with another. Primal urges take over spurring both onward, hard thrusts, bodies slapping together, breasts bounce with each deep full stroke, the world around us shakes moves along with us.
Bodies began to quake in the wake of what is to come, a tightening, muscles contracting sheathing the male tightly milking the force from him, as she explodes taking him with him. Being thrown up to heights unimaginable, thrown across time and space..dropped into depths free falling entangled crying out to heavens ..as it is to be..being shot through the base of the skull, back of the brain, ricocheting off andromeda, reentering the head and rocketing down through the spine shooting deep into her, exploding into her. Waves of feeling take hold of muscles, legs, torso moving them of their own accord. Onward, onward, onward, keep thrusting onward , not willing to give up or stop.
Till arms collapse..bodies together panting breathes closed eyes. Joined together..joined as one..breathing as one.unable to move or part. Tremors gently ripple between the two, gentle ripples..slowing the breathing.
Eyes part, lips find one another brush , press and caress again. Holding her close, her head on my shoulder her small hand in mine as we watch the sun marble the light on our bodies, in the cab of the pick up truck.
As it should be.
©April 2/2008 ShyWhisper2006
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*muttering*
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Posted:Mar 31, 2008 1:15 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2008 3:15 am
52371 Views
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No new post sorry..just got real life blind sided and ..bah..I will be back..*wanders off muttering to self*
Missed the memo
Missed the boat
Who knew hope don't float?
Kick my ass
Kiss me last
Never thought it wouldn't last
Flying high smiles abound
Rip out the carpet..
Lay where you may
Dust me off
shove me onwards
There can not be enough words
To type
to text
To say aloud
One word
Two words
Maybe more
just a few would open that door
rusty hinges locked steadfast
Oh if only it could have last..
和arch 31/2008 Shywhisper2006
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The Garden.......a Fantasy #1
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Posted:Mar 24, 2008 8:57 pm
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2011 12:01 pm
53426 Views
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The first in the fantasy stories..it is long but..I won't apologize..I cannot write it any shorter without it being a wham bam type of deal..don't like too many words oh well bite me
Now I give you .."The Garden"..inspired by [blog handyman87123] for his 8000th comment to my blog..thank you
Enjoy
She admired his garden for sometime now. Always looking forward to each new season to see what his yard would reveal to her ever watchful eyes. She was rarely disappointed.
He was an older good looking man and took pride in his garden and yard and that in itself made him stand above the rest, in her eyes. She dared not even try to compete with his skills, but secretly she wished he would take her under his wing and grant her a taste...of his knowledge.
Their neighborly greetings were as far as she had gotten the courage to speak to him And yet she would watch him endlessly toil during the growing seasons. The attention to detail and the strength he displayed in his tasks made her more than aware that he was all man. She couldn't help but be attracted to him but felt he had not even noticed her.
The spring had come early and as the norm, he was out there way ahead of the rest of the neighborhood, planting and weeding and setting his garden ready for the season. She would peer through the upstairs blinds not to be seen hopefully by him, just admiring him in secret.
Handy, as he was called by his friends, smiled catching the movement of the blinds every once in awhile. Knowing that she was watching him again. She was a looker..and he wondered why she had taken so long in approaching him. He had noticed her obvious interest in gardening and the way she tried to get her yard looking its best. He waited to see if she would make the first move...being as patient as he was in nature. Finally deciding it may need to be himself that took the first step after all.
The day began as any other up early before daybreak and a coffee in hand sitting on his back deck..listening to the slow awakening world around him. His usual haunt on the porch, hid him somewhat from view of the neighbors..something he was glad of this morning.
He perked his head to a noise coming from her place and watched as she dashed out of the back door clad only in a long men's cotton shirt. Her bare tan legs gave rise to an eyebrow and the corner of his mouth turned up a little in a grin.
Her hair not perfected..but a little on the wild side and even from here he could see that there could not be much under that shirt. The morning chill and dew on the grass gave rise to her pert full mounds of femaleness.
Noticing the trash bag in hand he smiled observing her actions. She dashed back to the door and did not enter but seemed like she struggled a bit and was becoming a little agitated.
She then headed to the backyard and into the shed. The clatter coming from over there made him smile more and he was beginning to think she had inadvertently locked herself out. He called out to her as he approached the fence but she was making enough of a racket that she did not hear him. He went round the back way to the gate and hoped by clearing his throat that he would not startle her as he offered up his services to get her back into her home.
Standing in the doorway of the shed he watched as she bent over rummaging and pulling things off the shelf.
Her legs no longer covered as much as the shirt lifted up and neared her ass. He had been correct to assume she had nothing underneath that shirt as he let his eyes slide up the back of her legs to the meeting of her thighs in what he could only describe in his mind as a sight to behold..one that made his dick leap into a raging erection and forced a small noise to be uttered from within.
She turned then her eyes wide and a bit startled but soon the familiarity of the face softened her gaze. Her words rushed at him in a mini flurry as she explained her dilemma of being locked out and perhaps the rush was to cover the fact and distract him from the fact that she was damn near nude before him..only some cotton on her body separated them.
Handy nodded and tried in vain to keep focused on her problem but it was a losing battle..would have been for any red blooded male.
Her eyes dropped a little from his face as she explained her search in here for her spare set of keys and not being able to find them. He nodded and set about to help look for them. She caught a glimpse of his taut pants and the hardness desperately trying to escape its confines.
Blushing slightly and looking away she continued her search, but not before she shivered a little at the knowledge that she had aroused him and not much stood between them for something not to happen.
Her nervousness was endearing to him as he smiled at her ongoing explanation of her mode of dress to her inability to remember to unlock the door when taking the garbage out.
Handy turned then looking at her back as she reached a shelf above her head and that damn shirt slipped up over the soft flesh of her ass. He had to have her and now..and he hoped she felt the same way towards him.
He moved behind her placing his hands on her ass and as her head turned he covered her mouth with his. Her moan almost did him in ..there was no mistaking her approval of his actions and her soft pink tongue chasing his was more than he could bear. He pressed her up against the worktable and slid his hands up from her ass and over her stomach and cupped her now heaving breasts, allowing them to be molded in his large gentle hands.
Her hands grasped the shelf above and held tightly as their hungry kisses deepened and his body thrust against her need, her body pushed back against his want, making the garden tools jiggle and shake on the table.
Breaking the kiss to catch a breath no words exchanged Handy slid his up under the cotton shirt pressing her forward onto the workbench, exposing to him her luscious ass. Firm tanned and bare he rubbed against it before her hand reached back and fumbled at the zipper. Cool fingertips slipped into the taut denim and found their way around his throbbing swollen member.
Placing a hand on the small of her back he pushed her gently forward and with a hand grasping on of her hips he guided the slickened head to her very wet folds.
One quick thrust and he buried himself deep within her, making the gardening tools jangle against each other, masking her moans.
Hard quick fast thrusts and not a word exchanged, both bodies speaking of the desire wanting to be explored and doing whatever it took to achieve it, as soon as possible.
He pulled her up towards him and kissed along the soft flesh between her neck and shoulder, her hand reaching up, cradling his head, keeping him where ever his lips touched.
Handy wanted this to last ..to cum now would be wonderful but holding off would make it more so, for them both.
A light rain had started unbeknownst to the couple..and with the moisture came the heady scent of wet rich earth and it seemed to arouse them even further.
It took hold of their senses and surrounded them..Handy looked past the doorway and noticed a fog had developed and the faint outline of his flower beds met his sight.
To bed her properly, amongst the seedlings and the soil which his own hands had toiled him brought a moan from a primal part of him.
Slipping out of her, he took her up in his arms and carried her out to his yard.
Laying her down amongst the Shasta daisies and the violet flowered Hostas, she looked up at him as he fell to his knees between her legs. The rich soil beneath her and her womanly scent damn near drove him mad with desire. He pushed up the cotton shirt and suckled on her breasts while a hand slid to her pussy and cupped it, stroking her now wet slit with his fingertips.
Their movements coupled with a gentle breeze, showered daisy petals onto her body. he grinned as his tongued circled the hardened nipple, thinking to himself he was going to ravage and plunder this flower in his garden.
Handy outlined her moist swollen pussy lips with his finger, causing her hips to reach up against his hand..aching for more.
He lifted his head from her breasts and scooped her ass up in his hands and lifted her bottom from the earth. Holding her he looked down at her before he leaned in to taste her wet blossom of an opening. Licking tenderly on the outer edges feeling her squirm to feel his tongue within her lips he held fast and teased her by not getting to his dessert.
Moaning softly she tried to grab hold of him and but he was a little out of reach and he then dove into her sweet nectar. Lapping and suckling on the outer lips before probing her with his tongue, making her squirm more in his arms.
Allowing her feet to rest on his thighs he opened his pants releasing his dick into the chill of the morning. He circled her clit, flicking it quickly with his tongue her panting made him smile and his dick jerk jealously.
Running two fingers between the wet folds he slowly inserted them into her making her groan sweetly. Curling them upwards he began to thrust deep and fast.
Kneeling up leaning over her, he took hold of the other breast and hardened the nipple as he nipped it with his teeth before sucking it into his mouth. Feeling her legs shake a little against him, he slipped his fingers from her and licked them a little before bringing them to her mouth. Her mouth hungrily lathed onto them and moaning she suckled them as he poised his cock against her slit.
Teasing a little rubbing himself against the warm wet heat of her he could not help but moan before suddenly plunging deep within her snug inner core.
She was like a magnet causing him to thrust harder and faster than he had anticipated, driving him deeper and faster to his prize.
Their sex smells mingled deliciously with the wet dirt beneath them and added to the primal passion that overtook them both.
Her hands grabbed onto his ass, her nails digging into his flesh as he pistoned into her over and over..each thrust getting harder as her body reached up to meet his with approval.
Their voices a deep murmuring of nature amidst the flowering plants and mists of a new morning.
Catching the corner of her mouth he kissed her deeply and whispered breathlessly to her.
"Cum with me..cum now!"
With the words uttered in the near silence her body tensed up and her legs tightened around him as he felt her cum on his cock her groan pulled from him a most powerful load as it erupted deep within her. Both eyes shut tightly as their orgasms took hold and shook them together, till it was through with them.
Collapsing beside her panting softly in time with her..he slowly opened his eyes and looked upon her flushed face and smiled.
Gently picking the daisy petals from her hair and her breasts kissing where they were removed.
Smiling as she watched him, her breathing calmed and her hand touched his face in a gentle caress. Kissing her lips softly he smiled and asked, "Shall we go find those keys now?"
Shaking her head she grinned and slid her hand up his thighs, wrapping her hand around his dick stroking it to life again she whispered back, "It can wait."
和arch 24/08 ShyWhisper2006
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Posted:Mar 21, 2008 4:36 pm
Last Updated:Nov 7, 2011 10:06 am
53464 Views
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I am ..as I am told often the last couple days..."owned"
I so suck at racing games..I mean why do they insist on putting walls and obstacles in the dam,n way..just to make me lose I am thinking.
Lil Shy..keeps beating me and saying he "owns" me...yeah right..I gave you life lil shit..lmao
I own YOU...lmao
I am not sure I am ready for his emergence into puberty..damn why do they have to be so stinking grouchy?
Did this twice..not counting three siblings before that and not sure I want to do it again..this time a male version...I am seriously debating whether or not to hand him over to his "father" figure for a short time and let him deal with it...Seeing as he has to care take his g/f at the moment..(she was hit by a car after xmas..and no it wasn't me..really )
I went to a "session" the other day..it was very good. It also wiped me out completely..I think I have slept more in the last few days then I have in months. Not sure sleep is really that good for me though
I am working on the story for the fantasy post..I keep starting and then lil shy comes in and I have to close the window again..so it is taking longer than I wish to finish it..but it is going well.
Also my wrist is bothering me again...it makes it hard to type with one hand...not sure how guys do it
My Easter will be spent with family..it will also be a gathering for my mom. It is the second anniversary..If all goes well..there will be 4 generations present there..my mom would have made it 5..I am sure she will be glad if we can all make it and it remains calm there.
I had to take my on a bit of a shopping trip...I really needed to get her some maternity tops and pants...lol
My upcoming g- was getting exposed before his/her time...lmao
I am sure I will need a mini bus with another one coming like this..thought m,y car was big enough but them car seats take up so much room...there is always the trunk..for the ones that make the most noise..and it is not the younger ones either
Just kidding...lol
Have a wonderful Easter *hugs*
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Love Bytes 15
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Posted:Mar 12, 2008 6:41 am
Last Updated:Dec 18, 2013 6:00 pm
54458 Views
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Samantha came to in the darkness and was only aware of the twitching of her legs. Like the nerves were dancing wildly within her body. As
she became more and more alert ..she discovered the feeling was not only in her legs but her entire body. She tried to move but then felt the now silent and still toy still wedged deep within her slick folds.
Taking hold of it she gently slid it out of her and placed it beside her as she lay back against the pillows wondering what the fuck just happened.
Male eyes blinked fluttered open a few floors away, greeted by darkness and silence. A shiver running through the body caused a brief twitch on his face. Head pounding violently, becoming more alert as eyes became accustomed to the dark surroundings. Hands grasped a scorched and somewhat melted keyboard. Frowning he let it drop between his parted legs, making the only sound to reach his
ears.
Rising slowly..stiffly he stood, walking over to the window. Looking out seeing a city darkened, except in the distance. Felt like the buildings near, were holding their breath waiting..waiting in anticipation for what was next. Lifting his hand to the glass touching it, noticing the silent splattering against the other side of the
storms' rain.
Reaching up to feel for any injuries, the sight roughness greeted the fingertips. Nothing was missing or bleeding..or so it seemed. A strange soft buzzing was heard, but more like felt in and near the ears and looking around the room nothing was visibly on or working and yet the sound droned softly within.
Acrid stench of fried wiring hung lazily in the air..but a mild confusion clouded the thoughts more than anything. Not being able to put a finger on what it was exactly..a tightening and shudder rippled through his body, an odd pressure made him look down.
A protruberance of flesh stood at attention blow his taut stomach muscles. Seemingly recognizing it yet..having it look quite foreign and a bewilderment settled around, giving way to curiosity as a hand dropped down towards it.
It jerked slightly ..like it knew something was coming for it..going to take hold. The hand moved closer and opened palm side facing upwards brushing ever so lightly against the underside of this hardened silky flesh.
A noise escaped breathlessly as a feeling moved throughout the body as the hand closed around the protruberance.
The sensation was remarkable and it desired more..leaning back against the wall bracing with the shoulders, hips pushed outward the hand began to stroke and revel in the feeling that it was able to produce...a Hunger.
Tightening the grip, squeezing along the shaft letting the fingers dance upon the bulging veins, feeling the pulsating deep within traveling into the hand again. Mouth parted and watching the hand move faster..then slower..tightening and releasing ..stroking from the base of the shaft slowly upwards to the swollen helmet which now began to seep its delight and approval.
Colors swirled behind closed eyelids..images rapidly flashed and disappeared only to be replaced by more and faster and faster they came flooding the senses..rushing him towards something ..something powerful.
"God damnnnn"..breathed out in a deep resonating moan.
Tilting his head downwards to see the hand a blur the hips thrusting to reach out at something unseen to the naked eye ..the swollen hardened flesh throbbing..struggling to escape the grasp but yearning for more.
He couldn't let go of it and didn't want to it felt too damn good and yet it was taking over his entire being and he wanted more..needed something more but what?
Grunting as he stroked faster and tightened the grip more squeezing it making it ache deliciously in his hand. Sliding the skin upwards and back..pulling harder on it and releasing it only to do it again.
Fingers slip past the shaft and touch the sensitive sac below the shaft and another guttural moan erupts forth from him.
Taking hold of them pulling them upwards as well and delighted in the new sensation it brings.
Legs beginning to shake now ..a pressure building but not wanting to stop ..wanting to make this last.
His eyes snap open suddenly an image flashed brightly in his mind one that was unforgettable and somehow lost for a moment.
Lips parted a name escapes breathlessly into a moan.."Sammmm"
The urgency skidding to a halt ..but the feeling did not.
He needed her..wanted her..must..go to her...pushing off the wall he staggers shakily to the door and into the darkened hallway and makes
his way towards her..the one he has yearned for..the one that awaits him.
和ar/12/08 ShyWhisper2006
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Always be there for you...
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Posted:Mar 10, 2008 5:45 am
Last Updated:Mar 21, 2008 3:43 pm
52917 Views
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I'll always be there for you
she said so many times
I know it was meant
at that moment in time
I'll always be there for you
"..through sickness and in health"
He got choked up on those words
Tears of sincerity I remember the most
Meant at that moment..meant at the time
Bet the young blond never heard them
She didn't need to he was hers
I'll always be there for you
Now hold on..why does always mean.. not really
..,that long of a time
depending of fluctuations in your mind
Always till another or something better comes your way?
Be there come high waters or what may?
For me..can he..will he..be there?
meant at the moment..a second in time
Always thinking if you could ever be mine
just for a moment..a moment in time
Scream to the heavens ..Is this meant to be?
Why is it so damn hard to just want to be?
Just for a moment..a moment in time
Holding your hand to my heart
and look into my eyes
There she will be .. quiet all this time
Yet the echos from her heart reach out and resound with a start
Spilling forth the love held back
the one..who knows the notes to your song
the lyrics to be sung
the melody that is felt when you smile
for just one moment...one moment in time
Can you ...will you..
Dance upon the strains of forgotten songs
Turn and look and you will see...
the one laying next to you is not she
Close the lid
replace the cover
Walk away from the past and see into the day
Go forth...be free...fly...outside with the breeze
taking you higher and farther
...than the past can reach
search now ..discover..what it is that makes you smile
go on you can do it..just go out and try
lasting words meant
meant at that moment..a moment in time.
和ar/10/08 ShyWhisper2006
picture... Enchanted by ralasterphecy
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Fantasy Link
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Posted:Mar 7, 2008 2:01 pm
Last Updated:Mar 12, 2008 5:19 am
52331 Views
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I came across one of my many blog friends posts and it asked simply..what is a secret fantasy of yours?
The replies were kept private and I dared myself enough, to leave mine there. As this writer was thinking of making some of the replies into posts for "Fantasy Fridays"...Elysian did a wonderful job capturing what I had imagined in my mind..thank you Elysian *hugs*
Here is the link... [post 1307713]
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A calmer place...
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Posted:Mar 2, 2008 9:46 am
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2008 7:04 am
53144 Views
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I went out last night..had dinner with a lovely young Lady. We laughed and talked and closed the place ..lol
I had a good time and it was very good for me to do.
We were free, which is a change ..well in a way.
I caught up on my comments and my watch list and stole looks at her as she slept on my bed. I noticed a few times the movement of my grandchild to be, moving about..perhaps he will be a nightowl like me
Yes I know I should have rested as well but I wanted her to get some rest as well.
We spoke of many things and I know she is keeping an eye on me..I am thinking thats a good thing.
One of the reasons I have not looked forward to sleeping lately is my dreams.
They have been quite disturbing lately.
I am trying to figure them out but I can only remember snippets of them.
There are a few things I am going to do this week for me...things I have put off. Yup little steps.
Oh and before week end I will hopefully get one of the stories posted that some of you have been waiting for so patiently..*smiles*
My apologies if my replies the last little while seem distant..it is not intentional..it has been hard to wrap my mind around my thoughts and get them down to text. It is getting better though.
No one here has offended me or hurt me by any comments that they have left for me..they have all been well received and I am ever so grateful for your kindness towards me.
I was visiting blogs and true to form many had me laughing and smiling and yes some had me weeping ..but it was all good.
Thank you for listening to me and for allowing me to purge once in awhile..it means more than I can express at times in words..but I am thankful for you all.
May your weeks be great and know I think of all of you from time to time during my day..*hugs*
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Thank you
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Posted:Feb 29, 2008 3:47 am
Last Updated:Feb 29, 2008 3:48 am
51339 Views
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I am a bit overwhelmed after signing in and seeing the responses to the last post...I had hit the no comment button I am sure of it...but it had a mind of its own it seems.
I will respond to each one of your kind and thoughtful comments...as they mean so much to me.
This one I hope will be a no comment one as I just wanted to say thank you..and let you know I am ok...
Not great..but ok..and sometimes ok is good..and thats alright for me.
*warm hugs* and *blessings* to you all
Shy
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who knows..
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Posted:Feb 27, 2008 3:59 am
Last Updated:Apr 2, 2008 11:27 am
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If you are put off by colorful language..look away now..I won't mind...
I know I am not the sharpest tool in the shed of life..and I admit I have many damned faults...
I realize that I amy not have the grace or beauty of many I have seen or know..and I never pretended to be something I am not...
I am open and honest and as upfront as one can be... with all that I get to know
But freaking hell...I am at a loss of words at the moment.
I lack the social skills of many my age and younger..why?
Because I never learned how to do this ..
Why?
Because I was a fucking obedient ..that did as she was told and knew no better than to do what was asked of me and fuck it all!!!
I am struggling now to know how to deal with people.
I try really hard to be confident..to be outgoing and bloody well brave in going out and meeting others...and yes I have met a few from this site.
Perhaps when they gave the fucking lecture on how to date..I thought they said fate and knew fucking better than to mess with that shit!
Yes I know the handle I have says shy..and yes I am to a point...but I am a woman and I am over forty ...and damn it to hell they were not freaking kidding when they said that the damned hormones kick in and drive you insane...
SO tell me this...Is it wrong to feel badly when you get the damn courage up to meet someone..and it seems like a good idea and all..because after all you have emailed and chatted on IM and even talked on the phone almost everyday...and when it comes time to meet..you go for coffee ..and it lasts less than a half hour..and you not once hear from that person again??
Oh and lets not forget that upon the end of this meeting ..you do not get even a handshake?
Now..I am no expert nor pretend to be one ...but is that normal protocol??
I have stayed away from posting much ..because I have been getting out..no not on dates..just doing other things outside and found a few things I may begin again because I realized I missed it.
Not sure at this point that I want to even bother meeting anyone else..it sucks ass ..really
Is it so hard to find a damn friend..not a sexual one but one that I could just go out with..like a buddy..just so neither goes alone?
I want to like someone..hell I would like to one day feel love and all that people say it is about..but damn...
Oh and I went to a gym..to check it out and all..and to see if I felt ok about being in one and it felt ok..and I was thinking it might be a really good thing...
Then the ass that I had talked to called me a few days later...well the convo was ok till he asked when I was going to come back and sign up..I said I needed to check on my finances to make sure it was a do able thing.
He made mention of how I should not wait long because my health would suffer and did I think it was not an investment not to die on my while he was still so young and what kind of example would that be for him.
I hung up and could not stop shaking I was so pissed off and hurt by that.
Yes I know his message was true in many respects but..
To walk into that fucking place was so very hard for me..hell to make myself be able to do something for myself..is hard enough...
Ok I bloody well admit I am so damaged I do not blame anyone for stepping away from me and running to the nearest damn exit but shit
Why all this today and now?
I went last monday on a bit of a day trip with my sisters...back to a place where I grew up....
Damn memories..I hate them!!
I kept it bottled around my sisters..why?
Because I just cannot unleash this shit on anyone..its too bloody hard.
We stopped at a place along the way back home and ..I almost broke down there.
It was a building that overlooked a valley.
It was breathtaking and yes I am crying as I write this because..I want to share that with someone..to just hold hands and look upon something that there is no words to describe..and just know..you are not alone.
I should not write when I am like this ...I may just delete this after I get up later...
picture is...Angel's_Lament_by_Delun
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