Broader interests or interests in broads
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Posted:Sep 17, 2016 5:00 am
Last Updated:Sep 20, 2016 5:14 pm
7362 Views
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Nope, only have the title. Used that phrase when chatting last night and thought there was a blog post in it. Nope, only have the title.
Need more coffee.
Prof
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Pornament
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Posted:Sep 14, 2016 5:08 am
Last Updated:Sep 15, 2016 3:54 pm
6919 Views
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Pornament (Urban Dictionary)
noun: a pornographic Christmas ornament.
Somehow, Rodney's Christmas tree, decked out in garish purple lights and Mrs. Santa pornaments, failed to convey the solemnity and dignity of this holiest of days.
Guess my Packer ornaments aren't so bad. One of my bucket list items is to do it on a rug in the glow of only the xmas tree lights with the fireplace flickering across the room. Doesn't seem like such a big ask, does it? Go figure why it is rejected.
Prof
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Good start
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Posted:Sep 12, 2016 4:48 am
Last Updated:Sep 12, 2016 6:52 pm
6606 Views
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Good start to the football season, my Packers won in the heat of Jacksonville.
Good start to the school year. Good group of students already getting up to speed.
Good start here as well. Having some fun exchanges by email and chat regularly. Hopefully some actual meetings soon.
Happy Monday.
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It is THAT time of the year
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Posted:Sep 10, 2016 5:13 am
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2024 12:13 pm
6351 Views
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Yes, you are going to have to put up with my fondness and excitement for the Packers. I'm not wrapped up in tons of sports but I love my home state football team. I hope to get to several games this year. Go Pack.
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Prefer my camper
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Posted:Sep 7, 2016 4:26 am
Last Updated:Sep 20, 2016 5:14 pm
5195 Views
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Ever have sex while camping. It is fuckin' intents.
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4
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Fitbit Sex?
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Posted:Sep 5, 2016 5:40 am
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2016 3:55 pm
6718 Views
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I'm thinking of getting a Fitbit. I understand they can track pulse, steps and sleep patterns. If it can also track my (lack of) sexual activity, it is a deal breaker.
Sigh.
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High school thrill
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Posted:Sep 4, 2016 5:46 am
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2016 4:20 am
6793 Views
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I was checking the junk mail folder on my "private" email account. As I was about to click "clear all" a name of the sender jumped out at me. It was the name of the girl who was my first kiss as a sophomore in high school. I checked the email and confirmed that it was some bogus sex site dating offer and not my Candace. Still it brought a host of memories racing back. It certainly didn't take much in those days to raise my pulse and other things. (Guess it still doesn't)
I'll post a link to a story of those days below.
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Gift Card Millionaire
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Posted:Sep 1, 2016 4:48 am
Last Updated:Sep 4, 2016 4:38 am
6733 Views
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Gift Card Millionaire (Urban Dictionary and the only way I'm going to retire early)
A person who holds a significant amount of money tied up in Gift Cards, Store Credit, Groupons and other forms of vouchers.
Financial Advisor: Do you know your net worth?
Gift Card Millionaire: Do you include Gift Cards? Because that would significantly affect the day I can retire.
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Shakespeare porn
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Posted:Aug 30, 2016 3:54 am
Last Updated:Jan 19, 2017 7:03 am
8450 Views
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A follow up on yesterday's "bardporn" post, who knew?
Bone Up Your Shakespeare
A Study Guide to the Complete Porno Films of the Bard of Avon
By Daniel Radosh
Considering that William Shakespeare coined the phrase, “making the beast with two backs” (Othello, I, i), it should be no surprise that there are numerous X-rated movies based on his plays. Amherst Professor Richard Burt has devoted a good chunk of his career to "bardcore" films. But are any of them worth watching? Ay, there’s the… rub.
The Play: A Midsummer Night’s Cream
How Much Bard: 70%
Cliff Notes: Certain subplots have been trimmed, the rest have had trim added, but the story and spirit of the original are intact. While there are benefits to this — double entendres like “I could munch your good dry oats” really come alive — there are also drawbacks — when it comes to porn, a guy with the head (and bray) of a donkey is more nightmare than dream. The acting isn’t exactly RSC-worthy either. But then you wouldn’t want to see Dame Judi Dench in this particular production.
The Play: X Hamlet
How Much Bard: 30%
Cliff Notes: Something is pervy in the state of Denmark. It seems the king’s brother, knowing the monarch’s penchant for cunnilingus, poisoned the queen’s good dry oats. Now the king’s ghost wants Hamlet to avenge him. Also, he wants Hamlet to have as much sex as possible. Some lines are familiar from Hamlet (“To screw or not to screw, that is the question”). Some recall other Shakespeare plays (“My kingdom for a fuck”). And some, Shakespeare could only have dreamed of writing (“There’s a present for you in my pants”).
The Play: Othello: Dangerous Desire
How Much Bard: 2%
Cliff Notes: “Life is pretty strange. Your name is Desdimona and mine is Othello. Not to say that has anything to do with Shakespeare. I just thought it was funny.” Actually, what’s funny is that Othello speaks dialogue with an American accent and voiceover with an Italian one, but this line is worth noting because it’s virtually the only connection at all to the alleged source material. The plot of this Othello involves the planning of a crime. Which in turn involves having lots of sex. The only other glimpse of Shakespeare comes when Othello wonders how Cassio got hold of Desdimona’s strawberry-spotted handkerchief. Or, in this version, her leopard-print thong.
The Play: Taming of the Screw
How Much Bard: 25%
Cliff Notes: Finally, an adaptation of The Taming of the Shrew for everyone who thought Ten Things I Hate About You was too cleverly written. In this modern undress production, Kate’s witty banter stays at the level of, “Shut the fuck up! Fuck you!” Once tamed by her husband, with the help of various friends and waiters, Kate teaches other wives the meaning of marriage: “All they have to do is their husbands’ bidding. Is that so much to give for the love you get in return. Here my husband, let me return the love you have given me. Suck Pete’s cock, you two dumb bitches!”
The Play: Juliet and Romeo
How Much Bard: 40%
Cliff Notes: Montagues don’t fall in love with Capulets, they just have sex with them. “My heart is Montague,” explains Mercutio, “but my prick is nonpartisan.” So it’s a scandal when Romeo becomes so smitten by Juliet that he can barely bring himself to bone the servant girls. And when Romeo kills Tybalt in an ensuing feud he must flee to Mantua, where he can barely bring himself to bone his hostess. At the end, Romeo is about to take his life — but Juliet awakens just in time to stop him! When the mourners arrive, Romeo and Juliet hide inside her coffin, where he can barely bring himself to bone her. Apparently this movie was made before Viagra.
The Play: In The Flesh (an adaptation of Macbeth)
How Much Bard: 75%
Cliff Notes: This ambitiously artsy interpretation blends classical and contemporary. Though staged in gloomy stone castles, the text is modernized and the characters drive Jeeps and carry guns. As a reminder that this is “the Scottish play,” the men wear kilts and the women, um, blow bagpipes. Shakespeare left the explicit sex out of his version, but you can imagine he’d approve of, for example, Lady Macbeth’s leather-dom style and Banquo’s ghost presiding over an hallucinatory orgy. Unlike Juliet and Romeo, Flesh stays true to its tragic heritage. Everyone ends up dead, and even when alive — even when screwing their courage to the sticking place — they don’t seem to be having much fun.
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Bardcore
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Posted:Aug 29, 2016 4:55 am
Last Updated:Aug 29, 2016 7:50 pm
5520 Views
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Bardcore (starting the academic season with an Urban Dictionary post)
A spin-off of the word hardcore, used, when referring to Pornography, to refer to a movie that was made with a Shakespearean play as the original plot.
Dude, I just saw my first bardcore movie, "A Midsummer's Night Cream!"
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Camping
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Posted:Aug 26, 2016 8:12 am
Last Updated:Aug 28, 2016 3:46 pm
7201 Views
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Off for another, maybe the last of the season, weekend of camping before the fall semester hits. Campfires, books, cards, Packer game on the radio, good food, and drinks. Makes for a pretty good weekend. Sex isn't likely but who knows.
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A rose by any other name...
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Posted:Aug 23, 2016 6:37 am
Last Updated:Aug 23, 2016 1:19 pm
7367 Views
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I was doing some personnel bookkeeping yesterday at work. As I went through the files I kept seeing first names that are the same as friends and acquaintances here. I'm certain none are actually working where I do. However, I experienced a little tickle as I read each familiar name and thought of its counterpart here on Affairlook. Thanks to all of you who provide me with that, mental, tickle on a regular basis: Joy, Amy, Kim, Sassy (okay, this one wasn't in a file), Kris, Cathy, and many others.
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Thoughtful sex
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Posted:Aug 22, 2016 6:55 am
Last Updated:Aug 23, 2016 7:17 am
7787 Views
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I was thinking of the word thoughtful. It really has two meanings. Most of the time I think people use it as a synonym for kind. "How thoughtful of you to bring me coffee when you were out."
It also, perhaps obviously, means thought filled. Filled with thoughts, well considered.
Most of the sex I've had in my life has been thoughtful. It has been kind and considerate sex. "Hey do you wanna?" "Sure, why not." "Thanks, that was nice."
The better sex has been thought filled.
"Sssh, do me now before someone hears us."
"Keep fingering me like that and you're going to have to bend me right over this picnic table and fuck me."
"I'm going to ride your face like this until I can't see straight."
"I could taste you on my fingers the entire drive home."
Of course everything we think hasn't happened yet. But the potential is so enticing.
Prof
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To link to this blog (Prof10001) use [blog Prof10001] in your messages.
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