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Posted:Aug 2, 2007 12:46 pm
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2007 8:42 pm
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Have you ever reacted to something in a way that you'd never thought you would? Perhaps you've imagined that moment in your head several times, and you've always just "knew" what you would say, or how you would react. Then, it happened, and what you thought you knew about your self, and how you'd react was not at all how you pictured it in your mind...
Well... That's happening to me, now...
See... for those of you who follow and read my blog... you have a little history on this issue, however, I haven't updated you guys on any of it. Well, the boyfriend I've so often wrote about is still here, and amazingly enough, he wasn't too upset when I told him about me being on this website. He's accepted it just fine, and as a matter of fact, he requested me to allow him to go with me to parties, and get to know my friends. He's also very interested in the lifestyle.
Now I know you're all thinking, "well hell yeah he's interested, he cheated! This is just giving him permission!" I don't see it that way. I think that if we can work on our trust issues, perhaps this is something that can be, at the very least, tried.
He has changed a lot, and I have to admit, since I told him about my participation on this site, we argue less, and I feel he trusts me more, because I no longer have to close my internet explorer, or stop talking to whoever I'm talking to. I've also found that every day I trust him a little more, specially when women send him messages... He could easily reply without me knowing, because I don't want to be watching over his shoulder. Yet, he doesn't, he always tells me if someone emails him, if someone winks at him, he even tells me if someone's viewed his profile.
I always thought that, if my boyfriend, whoever he was, wanted to have sex with someone else, I would be fine with it, as long as all parties involved knew it was just sex! I've come to find out... that's not entirely true.
I've always considered my self to be a very open minded person... and my boyfriend and I have talked about bringing another woman to join us, together... We've also discussed him playing alone with someone else... to which I agreed I have NO problem with... As long as I'm in the room... But then... he expressed his interest in being with another woman... alone... completely alone. Without me in the room.
Um... Not only am I not ok with that... but to have him tell me that... really... hurt! I never thought it would... yet, my thoughts, feelings and the way I reacted to that request surprised even me!
Of course, I assume it's because of the trust issues we have, and I explained that... He accepted it and said he wouldn't do anything I wasn't ok with it... and that he was willing to take it one day at a time, and wait for me to be ready for whatever.
Sounds great right?... yeah, seems like it... but, what if I'm never ready for that? How do I even begin to prepare my self for that?!
I've never been in an open relationship... and I thought he didn't want that... but, isn't that what he's asking for when he makes such request and then says he's fine with me playing with other men, alone?
I guess I'm kind of at a loss... I never really expected that request from him... and I definitely didn't expect to feel this way.
So...
What's a girl to do?
How would you react??
What can I do to deal with this with an open mind?
What would you do?
~*~ Miztress Nessa ~*~
(Originally Posted Jun 2, 2007 11:21 pm)
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Posted:Aug 2, 2007 12:44 pm
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2007 8:41 pm
14973 Views
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I've got tons to vent about, but what I once vented on this post about was really not that important... Isn't it funny how things can seem so big and important one minute, then once you calm down, once you've had a chance to think, you realize it's not all that you thought it was??
Don't you wish life was like a blog? You can pour your heart out, bitch, cry, vent... let it all out... then, if you've said the wrong thing, or made a mistake, you go back and edit it, and it's fixed!!
Life should be so easy... it's different in life though, you can't undo the harm you've caused with your words, you can't just go back and take back what you did or said, there's no "do overs" in life. Sometimes, it's so not fair!
To those I've ever hurt with my words, actions, or attitude, I'm truly sorry!
~*~ Miztress Nessa ~*~
(Originally Posted May 26, 2007 12:42 pm)
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Posted:Aug 2, 2007 12:40 pm
Last Updated:Jul 23, 2012 9:43 pm
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I wanted to take the time to wish all of the Affairlook mothers a happy mothers day... On special days like these... I can't help but think of my first ... Of course, I'm grateful for my daughters and my second , and I love them to death! But days like this one, is when I miss him the most.
I found this poem... I know it may not fit the occasion, but it hit home for me...
I hope you like it!
What Makes A Mother
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother
And I know I heard him say.
A Mother has a baby
This we know is true.
But God can you be a Mother
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can He replied
With confidence in His voice.
I give many women babies
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this, God
I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared His throat
And then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you
What your is doing today.
If you could see your smile
With other and say...
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lesson very quickly
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear.
Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one
Your are ok.
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with Me
Until your lesson there is through.
And on the day that you come home
They'll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.
Though some on Earth may not realize
Until their time is done.
Remember all the love you have
And know that you are a special Mom!
~*~ M!ztress Nessa ~*~
(Originally Posted May 11, 2007 5:16 am)
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Posted:Aug 2, 2007 12:37 pm
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2007 8:38 pm
14877 Views
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I have an issue, for which I desperately need legal counsel... However, every place I've looked into has told me that it is against the law for any attorney to represent me on this! How can that be?!?! I obviously can't deal with this my self, I've tried, and it's not getting me anywhere! I need help! Anyone know of any resources where I can seek the help I need??
I'm on very limited resources, and this people won't work with me, what can I do? Is there somewhere I can go?? Any ideas??
~*~ M!ztress Nessa ~*~
(Originally Posted May 7, 2007 3:31 pm)
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Lord, Take Me With You
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Posted:Aug 2, 2007 12:35 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2015 5:46 pm
23174 Views
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I promise you that...
If you take to me with you,
I will change...
And I will be so good,
Like I have never been...
If you take to me with you.
I promise you that...
I won't be rebellious anymore,
I will love you...
With total submission,
To all your desires.
If you take to me with you...
Nobody will cry,
There is no one at home that loves me,
Nor do I have any friends...
Really.
And that "love" thing,
is something that I never really got...
The only thing I got was loneliness.
Lord, take me with you...
Rip the life away from me,
in the heat of dawn.
I don't want to wake up...
Another morning
I don't want to live without being loved.
Lord, take me with you,
Take away the pain,
bring my soul peace,
because my road here it's too sad...
I am going to catch stars in the infinite.
I promise you that...
If you take to me with you,
I will wish love and happiness...
to the those who still are alive.
If you take to me with you...
Nobody will cry,
Perhaps they won't even notice...
I was never nothing special.
Lord, take me with you...
Rip the life away from me,
in the heat of dawn.
I don't want to wake up...
another morning.
I don't want to live without being loved.
Lord, take me with you...
Take away the pain,
bring my soul peace,
because my road here it's too sad.
I am going to catch stars in the infinite.
~ Nessa ~
P.S. No, I don't want him to take me just yet... just posting a song, hope you all like it! |
(Originally Posted Apr 29, 2007 1:35 am)
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Posted:Aug 2, 2007 12:33 pm
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2007 7:53 pm
14820 Views
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Today was my last day at work... I knew it was coming, but I can't help to feel... a little sad... ok, a lot!
I'm really going to miss my job... the moment I walked in, I knew that was the place I wanted to retire from!
I guess you can say I'm a little depressed, nothing that a little writing won't cure, so don't you all worry... I got TONS of blog space for all my writting, so I should be feeling a whole lot better soon!
The upside to this is that I will now have a little more time to spend with my , visit my fellow bloggers, and SLEEP!!
~*~ Miztress Nessa ~*~
(Originally Posted Apr 27, 2007 10:20 pm)
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Posted:Aug 2, 2007 12:24 pm
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2007 7:53 pm
14957 Views
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Yesterday, I thought my day was going ok, I finally got word that my car had been refinanced, which is something I've been trying to get done for over a month now, it was like a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
Then, I went back to my desk, to work, and I find the email that would change that.
"This email is to notify you that your contract will end at the end of this month. We enjoy working with you, and hope that you will keep in touch"
BLAH!!
I love this job!! and now it's over... I felt so sad! But I figured, ok, c'mon, you're not going to let this get to you right? I mean, there's other jobs out there!
So last night I got home, and I was searching for jobs, I talked to a friend, she had me send her my resume... I was calm once again... and my mother called.
She finally got a hold of someone in Mexico, if you don't know this, we had heard word that someone matching my uncles description, and with his name, had been killed in Mexico, I was pretty sure it was him, but in my heart I had hope left... My mom was looking into it, all the while saying it wasn't him.
Last night, we got confirmation... it was him. My oldest uncle, the one I thought would always be there... is gone.
My mom broke down crying, she was crying so bad, she could hardly talk... and I felt so.. helpless!! I've NEVER heard or seen my mother cry, we've never seen eye to eye on most things, and we can't be close to each other without fighting, we can't even talk on the phone without fighting... and last night, I just wished I could be there with her, to hug her and cry with her. It broke my heart to hear her cry.
Then, I heard something I would've NEVER had expected to hear, specially not from her.
She said... "I admire you so much, I look up to you. I've often wished, that I could be as strong as you, as fearless as you. You have a way of facing life, an inner strength, that I would give anything to have. Everything you've endured, I don't know many people that wouldn't have given up by now, and you've done it alone, with your ... by your self. I just wanted you to know, that you are my hero, you make me so proud, and I love you."
For some reason, as she said this, I couldn't help but to remember my uncles words, when I would go to him crying because my mom and I got into it again, he would say: "Mija, believe it or not, she loves you, even if she doesn't say it, and when she tells you those things, or acts like this towards you, just remember, she does it because she sees the real you, and she wishes that she could be like you. She is jealous, because she will never be as strong as you, as beautiful as you, as smart as you. Some day, she'll stop being jealous, and she'll begin to admire you, and be proud of you, and some day, I promise you, she'll admit that. That's my promise to you, I will make her see... even if I have to die trying."
I always thought, that it was just his way of calming me down, his way of letting me know he loved me, perhaps even something he thought he had to say to make me feel... at ease.
Now, what he said would happen, happened, and I find it so sad, that, like he said, he had to die, for her to open up like this... but then again, he always kept his promises.
This got me thinking...
What promise have you made and kept?
What promise did you break?
How important is a promise to you?
How far would you go to keep a promise?
Do you believe that saying that says "promises are made to be broken"??
~*~ Miztress Nessa ~*~
(Originally Posted Apr 17, 2007 12:33 pm)
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I Love You
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Posted:Aug 1, 2007 12:38 pm
Last Updated:Jul 23, 2012 9:17 pm
23819 Views
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I have a burning desire,
To touch all of your body,
To be allied to the long hours and of time,
To be able to stop every other second,
And still have the pleasure to continue,
exploring your naked body,
and make love to you.
I've found,
in your beautiful eyes,
that wonderful light that blinds me,
And on your lips,
the flavor that I like so much,
In your body,
That passion that keeps me ignited,
And your soul provokes something in me that scares me,
Something that attracts me,
I believe, it might be love.
I couldn't find a way to let you know
of all my desires and my most intimate dreams
I didn't know how to tell you beautiful things,
and that's why I'm telling you here, and now.
I love you,
I hope that you feel the same way,
that you also need to feel my lips to feel alive.
I want you,
I need you and I want to propose something,
If you agree, I want to make love to you.
*************************************************
Is there someone you feel this way about?
Have you told them?
If you have,
How did that work out for you?
Would you do it again?
If you didn't,
why didn't you?
Do you ever wonder "what if"?
If you could go back and do it again, would you tell them?
~*~ Miztress Nessa ~*~
(Originally Posted Apr 1, 2007 12:03 am)
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Posted:Aug 1, 2007 12:33 pm
Last Updated:Jan 28, 2015 4:50 am
16454 Views
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A member of my group recently posted a thread wondering why women don't talk to him on Affairlook and I see and hear other men wondering the same. Here's an article that was written that has some helpful hints. My number one advice is...SMILE, look happy in your photo. I don't know about all the other women, but happy, fun and friendly looking gets a second look from me almost every time.
For some reason, I always hear men on this site complain that it's hard (no pun intended) to meet and hook up with women. They seriously don't know what they're doing wrong. Well, if this is you, then keep reading!
Recently, the subject came up in my group FTLS, and a member posted this article that was written by an unknown person, at least to me, which has some helpful hints. My advice would be, honesty, always. But the person who wrote the article below covered more than just that. I hope that some of you will find it helpful in your search.
It ain't luck! Or how to get laid on Affairlook if you are a guy.
This is an article on how to get laid on Affairlook if you are a guy. Really. I always see guys talking about how they "haven't had any luck". I hate to tell you, luck has nothing to do with it. What follows is basically a distillation of everything you need to know to be successful as man on this site.
First, why should you believe me? Well, I've been on this site for ten years and have already made all the mistakes that everyone else is about to. I have met and played with a lot of women from this site. I have a better sex life than most twenty year olds. And if you don't believe me then look at the testimonials on my ad. Those are all from women I've actually played with.
First, the facts of life. When you come on here as a guy you feel like a in a candy store. Wild Women! They all want to fuck! Wooooooooooo Hooooooooooo!!!!! Then it dawns on you. There aren't nearly as many women as there are men. You are a commodity on this site. And they are choosy. Why? Because they can be. Get used to it. Get used to it quickly or leave. Get a , they aren't nearly as choosy. If you want a sobering statistic look at the browse feature and look that the number of women seeking men vs men seeking women. Last I looked it was something like 16 to 1. And the vast number of women's ads are inactive or turned off. But don't worry, all is not lost. It can be done. Most of the women that are here really are looking to get laid. They want a guy to take them someplace nice, rip their clothes off and ravish them. Many times not even in that order. And sometimes they might want to be the one doing the ravishing. The trick is attracting their attention, convincing them that you are not some psycho who is going to keep them chained
up in a crawlspace and that you actually know what you are doing in bed.
Part 1: The Ad
OK, lets start with the basics. The text of your ad. Pictures are the next topic. First thing to remember. This is an ADVERTISEMENT. It isn't therapy. It isn't your manifesto of the ills perpetrated on your poor soul. You are selling yourself. Yes, you are a piece of meat. Like everything else you have to explain why this piece of meat is better than the rest. As an exercise go look at a bunch of guy's ads and pretend they are airlines trying to get you to fly with them. You start to notice certain types of ads.
The Short Ad:
"Um, I like to fly. Anybody wanna fly on my airline?"
The Whining Ad:
"How come nobody wants to fly with me? I am such a nice airline I don't understand it. Nobody has flown with me in 10 years. Please fly with me. Give me a chance. Pleeeeeeese."
The Picky Ad
"I'm a hot shit airline. I only take passengers who are between 5'5" and 5'10", blond and at least DD tits"
There are lots more. Contributions to this list are welcome. But the point is would you fly on any of these airlines?
OK, so what do you write in your ad? You write about you. But you have to follow some basic rules.
1) Be honest. Really.
Lying is counterproductive. Lying is amazingly difficult. Most people are bad liars. That probably includes you. There is always a balance between giving out information that nobody wants to hear and making sure your potential partners are informed of relevant facts. If you are married say so. Putting "Rather not say" basically says you are married anyway. Even if you don't put "I'm married" in your ad but you are going to have to fess up sooner or later. It becomes obvious pretty quick. Remember the old adage "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"? Yeah, think about running into her in the mall while you are pushing the stroller with your wife and she comes up and plants a big wet one on you out of spite. And honestly, a lot of women don't care. Basically if your partner is going to find out about it anyway you might as well come clean early. And if they don't want to mess around with a married man they are going to be royally pissed when they find out they've been duped. This applies to other big things as well. Do you have a third eye in the middle of your forehead? Women don't like to be surprised and blindsided. And when they are they are pissed. This is not conducive to getting laid. One woman friend of mine met a guy who neglected to tell her that he was a dwarf.
2) Keep it positive.
Nobody wants to hear about your problems. If you find your soul mate here then you can unload. But not until then. Whining is the kiss of death. Don't tell everyone how depressed you are and how many meds you need to get out of bed every morning. Don't tell them that you haven't gotten laid in 10 years. Don't beg. For Christ sake don't beg. The best thing in the world is to project an air of confidence. Look at every popular leading man in the movies. Do they act like whiny little bitches? No, of course not. You can't necessarily look like George Clooney or Brad Pitt. But you can act like them. Its all about the RIGHT attitude. Note that I said the RIGHT attitude, not having AN attitude.
3) Write about you.
No, really. Its a good strategy. If you want a woman to be your lover, or fuck buddy, or just your friend, she needs to feel comfortable around you. She needs to trust you. She needs to know that you are not a psychotic killer. The best way to do that is to make sure she knows about you. This is all up to you. What makes you interesting? What are your good points? Explain them. How much should you write? A former English teacher of mine put it this way. "Your essay should be like a woman's skirt. Long enough to cover the subject, short enough to keep it interesting."
Also, really think about your title. It is the first thing a woman will look at after your picture. Remember you are writing an ad. You want to draw them in to read more about you.
4) Write well.
No net speak. Use complete sentences. SPELL
CHECK YOUR FREAKING AD! Use good grammar (grammar? I always get that one wrong). Want a tip? Take a creative writing class. I write very well. This ability has been a god send for me on this site. Look, romance novels are THE biggest selling genre of books. Guess who are the main customers? Women like a guy who can convey his thoughts and (ick) feelings well. OK, before you all gag repeat after me "I am a commodity. I am a commodity". You have to adapt to women, not vice versa. Use humor. If you can make a woman laugh you are half way there. Laughter is a huge aphrodisiac.
5) Review it with a very critical eye.
Read it and ask yourself "Would you fuck you having read this ad?" YOU NEED TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON YOUR AD!!! Read it, revise it, read it again. Look at ads of guys that do get laid a lot. If you can get a few women to comment on your ad that is great. But that is kind of like needing to have money to make money. And also, remember, even if it is a woman it is only one opinion. Go with your gut.
6) Pay for it.
The ad that is. I'm not a shill for Affairlook. Really. But the sad fact is that the deck is stacked in favor of the guys who pay the most. Do a search on guys looking for woman. Look at what position the first standard member occupies. It is pages and pages down. Why the hell is some woman going to contact you when she has a good hundred men to choose from before you? Best ad in the world doesn't mean shit if you no one sees it. The converse is also true. Paying money when your ad is shit isn't going to do you any good either. Also, I have heard from a couple of different women that they think a guy that doesn't pay for the ad is "cheap". Yes, Adult is trying to make money. It is a business not a charity. Get over it. That being said there are other ways to get exposure. We'll talk about that later.
7) There are certain "universal" attractors for women. They are not universal in the sense that all women like each of these aspects. They are universal in the sense that if you have one of them you will be very attractive to a large class of women. If you have one of these attributes you should play it up in your ad. They are:
a) Good looks. Well, duh.
b) A very large cock. Again, duh. At least here you can show it off with out getting arrested.
c) Lots of money. It may not be the basis for a lasting relationship but it will attract women.
d) Intelligence. This includes things like well written ads and the ability to write poetry.
e) Humor. Make 'em laugh and you are 3/4 of the way there.
f) Musical ability. The primary reason for teenagers to form bands is to get laid. And guess what? It works.
g) Power. Some women love powerful men. Look at Henry Kissinger. He looks like a troll but was dating hot blonds twenty years his junior.
Finally, overall, you should always be self confident (but not too cocky or arrogant), charming and have a touch of humility.
Part 2: Pictures
Bottom line. Get one. Preferably of you. Pictures make a huge difference in how many women view and respond to your ad for a couple of reasons. The first one is practical. In
searches Affairlook puts ads with pictures first. The closer you are to the top the better off you are. Also when you are browsing through ads which are the ones you look at first? The ones with the pictures right? Secondly, women (and men) are much more comfortable when they see some part of you. Now,
that is the next question isn't it. Which part? Well, the answer is both simple and hard (if you excuse the pun). Put what ever makes you look best. You are built like Adonis? Show your body. Male model? Put out your purty face. Hung
like a race ? Well, you get the picture.
This leads us to the whole cock shot / no cock shot debate. I see ads for women occasionally that say something like "And I don't want to see any pictures of your nasty penis" (yes, text from an actual ad). I also see advice from women that say don't put out cock shots. Well, put out what works. If you are three inches hard then don't do a cock shot. Seriously. Its counter productive. If you are hung like me then go for it. It has worked wonders for me. I've been considering making a t-shirt with that shot on it and the words underneath "This is me" with an arrow pointing down. That way I can wear it to a bar. Also consider what kind of partner you are trying to attract. I'm not looking for romance. My picture pretty much says that for me. It has, however attracted some very high quality ladies that make good friends and excellent fuck buddies. Exactly what I'm looking for.
Now, the picture itself. There are certain do's and dont's. Make sure it is well lit, clear and well composed. Also make sure you can tell what it is at postage stamp size. Because that is how standard members will see you. If you are doing a face shot get one that makes you look happy and
relaxed. No mug shots from your web cam. Pay attention to the rest of the picture as well. No family shots where your wife and are scribbled out. Look at the background. Are you standing in a messy room with empty pizza boxes and Mt. Dew bottles scattered around? The message you are sending when you do that is "Hi, I'm like your ex-husband, a clueless messy dork". Again, be critical. Best bet is to get a digital camera and take lots and lots of shots
in lots of different poses and places. Then cull it down to the best couple. Or go get some professional shots made up. There are lots of places that do glamor shots.
Let me reiterate. You are putting out an advertisement. You are trying to put yourself in the best possible light. Don't just throw crap out there. Work at it.
Part 3: Other ways to get attention
Sending mail:
Well, maybe it works for you but not for me. This is one place where I fail miserably. I just don't have the knack for "Cold calling" women. That's OK, I couldn't pick a woman up in a bar to save my life either. Has any guy within earshot been able to have any success emailing women on this site cold? I would love to talk to
ya. Better yet, post your secrets here. Some general common sense advice in the mean time (OK, I haven't been entirely unsuccessful). Have a snappy title. One that stands out. Remember, women will end up with 20 - 30 messages a day. Putting "Hi" in the subject line won't help you
stand out. Send a picture (or three). Make sure you read her ad and actually respond to it. Boilerplate gets deleted right quick. Oh, and don't say stupid shit. I wouldn't think that I would have to tell you this but I hear about the
stupid emails from my women friends all the time. Does anyone really think that sending a woman an email that says "Hey, do you want to dork?" (yes, true story) is going to get you laid?
Groups and advice line articles:
Well, you are reading this aren't you? The more places you put a reference to yourself the more women are going to look at your ad. Being witty, articulate and posting a lot gets you attention. It helps you build relationships with the women on the group. They can see your shining personality come through in everything you write. On second thought, maybe you should just lurk...
The downside to groups is that what you post is public forever. So be very careful what you say. I've seen it come back to haunt people.
Blogs:
Ah, now you are the master of your domain. That is a two edged sword. Here you can show off your wit and charm and get lots of women to hang on our every word. But, you have to have wit and charm and be able to write. And have enough ideas that you can post once or twice a week at minimum. If you don't post that much people lose interest and stop visiting. If you do well you end up with groupies. How cool is that?
*************************************
I hope this helps!
~ Nessa ~
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Posted:Aug 1, 2007 12:18 pm
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2007 7:46 pm
14937 Views
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Hi blogville!!!
I'd like to start this post by saying that I've missed YOU GUYS and GALS terribly!! I know, my own fault for not visiting often enough, I know! But you know, real life tends to get so distracting sometimes, it's hard to keep up!
Ok, with that said, I want to catch you all up on what's been happening with me lately.
I have a few bad news, a few good news, a few bad news followed by good news, and a few good news followed by bad news. (Wow! I just confused my self! lol) Then some things I'd like to share with you guys so that maybe you can enlighten me. Which should I start with?... umm... I'll start with the bad news... the good news... Oh well, the first thing comes to my mind.
Ok, as most of you know, my sister had a baby back in November, (that's the good news) they found out not too long ago that the baby had a problem with his heart and would have to have surgery, (that's the bad news), the baby had the surgery yesterday, and according to my sister, he's doing great! The doctors are very optimistic. (that's the good news). I've been kicking my self in the ass because I couldn't be with her, (that's the bad news), and I knew she needed me there, if nothing else for moral support. I've been where she was yesterday, and I know what she was feeling. I just hope that she knows I would've loved to have been there.
On the other hand, I still have a job, the contract has been extended for yet another month, a lot of people that were in the same position I was either got fired or quit and are no longer there, which makes me kind of sad, because I'm going to miss them, but at the same time, it makes me think that maybe my odds at getting a permanent position are slightly increasing. If I can stay in the company until April, and if the company starts hiring then, I can be evaluated to have a permanent position there! (that's the good news).
However, it is VERY far from where I live, and I have looked around for a place closer to work, but things are SO expensive there! Some places require that I make 3 times the rent... and those places are like $1,800.00 a month!! I mean c'mon!! Get real people! So I have travel 2 hours each way every day, to and from work, which leaves me no time for my , my self or anything for that matter! (that's the bad news).
My ex-boyfriend is back, (not sure if it's bad or good news yet) with a somewhat different attitude. I decided to let him in my little secret, he didn't know I was on this site, or anything about the group that I'm the moderator of. Folks That Love Sex. So, I decided to come clean... I'm not much of a lier anyway! And I wasn't lying to him about it, I was just withholding information... But it was driving me insane! So, I took him to a meet & greet held by the group, and decided to tell him everything about it!
Amazingly enough, he was ok with everything! He even wanted to go to the next meet & greet with me, and we did! He accepted it so naturally I was very surprised! I was even MORE surprised when he told me he was open to me playing with a guy from my group!
I'm not sure what to make of his reaction... I'm somewhat puzzled by it... perhaps you guys can give me some input on that! I mean, I don't understand how someone, who is extremely jealous, to the point where I can't give a ride to male co workers without him getting jealous, can be put in a situation like this, and accept it so willingly.
Anyway, I've also kicked out my room mate. I found that I can no longer take his rude attitude or the way he just lays around all day and does nothing, and to be quite honest, my pocket can't afford him any longer. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love the man to death, he has been my best friend for a long time, but here lately, we're at each others throats, and I just can't take it anymore!
I feel bad, because I know that at one point he loved me, and I didn't, couldn't feel that way about him, although I tried... so I sort of felt responsible for him, because he came to Illinois from Texas to be with me.
I still feel somewhat responsible for him, but I just can't take it anymore. I wonder, am I in the wrong? Should I just apologize and tell him he can stay? I hate that we're fighting all the time, but it's to the point that everything he does gets to me! I just don't want my growing up around all that hostility!
And last, but DEFINITELY not least... more good news, My oldest made the A honor roll!! I'm sooooo proud of her!
Ok, I think I've rambled enough for today...
So, what has everyone been up to?
What good news have you gotten lately? or what has happened in your life that would be good news?
What about bad news? have you gotten any bad news? do you have any bad news?
C'mon! share them with me! I've missed ya!
~*~ Miztress Nessa ~*~
(Originally Posted Mar 6, 2007 7:44 pm)
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Posted:Aug 1, 2007 12:15 pm
Last Updated:Aug 28, 2007 8:37 pm
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You will NEVER believe this!! Then again, maybe you will...
As most of you know, I've been working on a temporary basis for this company, in hopes that they would hire me... We had our first evaluation at the end of December or so, and I was told that I had not been recommended to be hired at that time... Which really sucked because I really wanted that job! I could really see my self working there until I retired... They did say that maybe next evaluation things would change. That evaluation was supposed to happen before the end of January.
Well, it didn't happen when it was supposed to, and we all got tired of waiting, and I finally asked my supervisor if it was safe to say that at this time, the company would not hire anyone else. He said "that is correct." He also added that as of February 1st, we were there on a day to day basis.
I was so sad! I felt like such a failure! Those 3 little words took away all of my hope! I made plans to start updating my resume and all this weekend.
Today, I'm sitting there arguing with a caller, when I get a message from my supervisor, asking me to go to his office as soon as I got off the phone. I said ok, already knowing what was going to happen, I got off the call, cleaned my desk, and gathered my things, logged off the phone, and headed upstairs. I wanted to cry so bad, because I knew, that would be the last day I set foot in that building for a while.
So, I get up there, the other supervisor takes me into a room, and she says: "We've finished the evaluations, and if you don't mind, I'd like to review them with you." I manage to say "ok". We sit down and she starts going question by question and answer by answer, "exceeds, constantly meets, etc" then she reaches the last question: "Do you recommend this contractor for consideration to be hired on a permanent basis?"... she answered that same question much the way she answered the other ones, "Yes." Then she went on to tell me that I had fulfilled my contract, and at this point if I wanted to find another job, it was up to me, and it wouldn't count against me. I looked at her, and I say, "Wait, what was the last question?" I looked at it again... and I was like "OMG! Are you serious?! I've been recommended?!" She then told me that yes, I had been recommended, but at this point the company is not hiring anymore people until April, maybe even June or July, but if I hang on, when they do start hiring, I should be among the first people they will hire!
Isn't that GREAT?!?! OMG! I'm soooooo happy!!
~ Nessa ~
(Originally Posted Feb 2, 2007 5:30 pm)
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Posted:Aug 1, 2007 12:01 pm
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2007 7:45 pm
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Just wanted to let you all know, that I got the biopsy results, my is doing fine! They've taken him off the medication again... We'll see how that works out this time.
Anyway! It's monday, I'm sure you're all dying to get back to work! So, Have a very happy Monday, and a very nice week!
Btw, any of you got any big plans this week?
Any of you not working this week?
~ Nessa ~
(Originally Posted Jan 29, 2007 4:13 am)
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Posted:Aug 1, 2007 11:56 am
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2007 7:45 pm
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Ok, now I know I haven't written in a while, but to my defense, I have been working a lot lately! Which I guess it's a good thing, but it leaves me with almost no time for anything else. But I promise, I will try to make the time to come in here and type, share, or rant more often!
Anyway, Tomorrow I'll be taking Seth to the hospital... He's got a biopsy, they've tried to take him off some medications, and they have to keep an eye on him. I am hoping everything is ok, there's no reason to think it isn't, the last few check ups and biopsies have come out perfect, but, the fact that they've taken him off medication kind of worries me. Like always!
He was acting a little different the first few days they took him off the medication, I took him to the doctor, and the doctor said he was just going through withdrawals... apparently the medication gives you a high, not like a drug high, but more like a happy feeling, I guess... And the doctor explained that perhaps taking him completely off the medication was too hasty, so they put him back on it, but on a lower dose, so now, we've gotta make sure that the dose they put him on is working out for him.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is, while I don't have a reason to really worry, I don't want to jinx it, so... if you can, keep him in your prayers for me!
Thanks!
~ Nessa ~
(Originally Posted Jan 23, 2007 10:38 pm)
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