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G/ma's final journey in life :(
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G/ma's final journey in life :( I was actually so depressed & down last nite. Before i left to meet d gurls, i got a call frm my dad asking if i really had to go out. I knew sumtg was wrong cu he doesn't ask me tat. I pressed him on wat's happening!!!! I really got a blow & i burst out. My g/ma won't leave for long  I know it's best for her to go bt juz can't accept it. I told my dad well, even if i go home than, i won't b able to c or b wit her as she will b sleeping. So, i went off drinking. I know they muz b thinking wat a g/ i m for doing tat bt i juz can't stay home. I knew i would c a different site of her. How rite i was??? I woke up tis morn & my dad told me tat she was asking for me last nite. Wer was i??? Gosh!!! I went to her & looked at her. I nearly burst out again bt held back. She looks so different befor she was admitted to d hospital. She was juz lying there, sleeping Usually, she'll b d 1st to wake up in d family & b down doing her things. I juz sat there & looked at her. She was so weak. When she talked, her voice changed as well. She wanted to go d/stairs bt i stopped her. Told her to juz rest. I've neva really cried in my life. Onli for 3 occasions, i remember... When my g/pa passed away when i was a lil . I was also close to him. The nite before he died, he was teaching me mathetics on d magic doodle board. I still remember sitting by his bed side & he was like showing me how it's done Than my g/ma told me tat he needs his rest & sent me to bed. My g/ma woke us in d middle of d nite & informed us tat he's gone. Of cuz tat time I didn't know wat was happening. I was only 7 than. Only when d coffin was in d house & i saw my oher family member's crying, than i knew. I really broke down. If it's not for my g.ppassing away, my parents would still b together. They respected him & tat's y they were together than. After he passed away, not long after tat... my parents divorced. Than d other time i cried was when i was sending my dad way at d airport for a biz trip. My siblings tot i was crazy. i cried bt silently like he was not coming back  Now tis comes along. I wonder how long will she still b arnd. It's a waiting game now It's cuz of her tat my family r still together everytime i quarrel wit my bro or dad & i start packing my stuff,she would hols me back. She ask me not to go. As long as she's arnd,my bro has no rite ro throw me outta house. Yes!!! D house is under his nme bt it's my g/ma who paid for it.She juz changed to his name. So, for her sake, i stayed Sumtimes, i wonder i w i even freaking born in tis world!!! & to a wrong family. Was i all tat bad in my past life  I believe God's juz testing me. If i can handle it. Back in those days!!!! I actually wanted to take my own life. I swallowed like 20 tabs & juz lied down there. If it's not tat my g/ma who found me in my room puking my lungs out, I wouldn't b here. She saw me tat state & took me d docs rite away wer i was flushed out. U C those days during school, my dad was kinda strict wit me. He onli treats me tat way. not my sis & bro. I was even slapped across d face for leaveing a alrm clock at d check out counter. He juz turned arnd, slapped me hard on d face & say how can u b so forgetfull We had to turn back to get it. Juz for a alarm clock. My g/ma found out wat he did & scolded him. She hates people using their hands. She juz came in while i was sleeping & started rubbing oil on d spot & near d forehead. She was scared tat i would get damage inside.  I think my dad now is trying to b nice to me for all his way of treating me when i was a . I was even stopped to go c my mum. He refuses to let me get out of d house at one stage. Tat time i wasn't . I was alrdy in college than & i was baptised ( my mum is a christian). SO, i had loads & loads of activity at churh than. He was rather upset as i would spent my weekend there. Would go in d morn & b back onli in d eve. I think tat really got into him as i was about to sit for my SPM than. He was afraid i didn't do well, as they r spenfing so much on me. I was in a priv school. I was kinda rebellous than bt in a gud way. I only started partying & clubing when i was in collgeg & i went all out in mid 90's. I know he's trying to b a gud dad & prtect his . He even sends me to d disco if i wanna go out & he picks me up if i got no t/port home. Even now he does tat. He hates me taking a cab. He keeps stressing tat it's not safe for a gurl to b taking a cab so late at nite. Sumtime even if i do, i juz lie to him & say tat sum1's sending or picking me...LOL Bt now i believe tat if it's not ur time, no matter how u try, HE won't accept u back : Wow!!!! Tat's sort of my life story I juz felt like pouring it all out & here it isI find it rather too long bt who cares Got more to write infact  well, hope u all had a gud weekend. Cheers!!! xoxoxo Wet_p |
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hey dear... I know wat u mean  We alwi regret not saying d things we want to when r person is here. It's onli after tat we realize it Awwwwwwww  m sure she knows how u feel about her & she'll b watching u frm above Thnxs dear Wet_p
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hiya sweetie.. *hugs*. just do what you can to make her comfortable and spend time with her is the only thing you can do right now. Take care, ASH
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1/7/2007 12:29 am |
I was closed to my grands..and the both passed away when i wasnt there.Its one of the regrets i have.Be there for her and I'm sure she can feel ya with her...
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Sounds like you have a lot on your mind. Sadly you get one chance to get it right. If not you will regret it for the rest of your life. My advice is to ignore what everyone says, ignore all other pressures and distractions and just be there. Chin up and take care. Sir Teezalot WAR IS ABSURD
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hiya sweetie.. *hugs*. just do what you can to make her comfortable and spend time with her is the only thing you can do right now. Take care, ASH Wet_p
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I was closed to my grands..and the both passed away when i wasnt there.Its one of the regrets i have .Be there for her and I'm sure she can feel ya with her... bt m sure they would how u felt for them Trying to do wat i can for her thnxs dearWet_p
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Sounds like you have a lot on your mind. Sadly you get one chance to get it right. If not you will regret it for the rest of your life. My advice is to ignore what everyone says, ignore all other pressures and distractions and just be there. Chin up and take care. will definately b there more from now Wet_p
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1/7/2007 4:37 am |
We're here for you hun, you know that! You do what you need to do, and let us know if you need anything. Dont be afraid to ask babe! Big hug to you my dear!
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Sorry haven't been keepin in touch lately.. Just being there would mean a lot to her but please do take care of yourself as well as the last thing u need would be breaking down yourself... ****Huggies**** Smooth
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hiya sweetie.. *hugs*. just do what you can to make her comfortable and spend time with her is the only thing you can do right now. Take care, ASH
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hey sweetie.. thnxs for droping by. it has onli juz been d begining & i can feel d stress in my family bt we r all co-opering to do our best & make her comfy {{{hugzzzzzz back}}} Wet_p
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We're here for you hun, you know that! You do what you need to do, and let us know if you need anything. Dont be afraid to ask babe! Big hug to you my dear! Sowee haven't been in touch after tat nite.. juz needed sum time 2 b alone & yes!! i definately know tat u & d other gurls will b there when i need a shoulder to cry on Thnxs for being there Wet_p
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Thnxs sweetie We'll keep tat in mind. Rite now juz wanna b alone wit her even if it means sitting arnd her & mightn't b able to do anytg Bt hey!!! no worries. i know wat m doing. ju being home is enuf for me Wet_p
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Thnxs hun {{{hugzzzz}}} Wet_p
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Sorry haven't been keepin in touch lately.. Just being there would mean a lot to her but please do take care of yourself as well as the last thing u need would be breaking down yourself... ****Huggies**** Smooth I dun know bt i think i still can hndle myself. Cya sumtime soon Wet_p
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hhhmmm.. well, by d time i remembered it was like quiet late so didn't wann 'kacau' u la yeah!!! will b calling u soon lurve ya too gurl Wet_p
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OH!!! i've been crying my heart out (tat's for sure) & definately not in front of her it was like in front a bunch of my frens when we went out on sat nite bt m sure will b crying again & again it's really hard & painfull to c here tis way Wet_p
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Hey WetP. I haven't had much chance to catch up on your blogs. Sorry to hear about this. Sounds like your Grandma really loves you very much. Stay by her side - that would really make a world of difference to her. I know we're quite far from each other but if there's anything I can do let me know. Take care of Grandma.
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Hey WetP. I haven't had much chance to catch up on your blogs. Sorry to hear about this. Sounds like your Grandma really loves you very much. Stay by her side - that would really make a world of difference to her. I know we're quite far from each other but if there's anything I can do let me know. Take care of Grandma. really appreaciate it. Yeah. altho she doesn't say it wit words, i know she does love me wit all her action. When i m sick, she would wake up in d middle of d nite to c if i m ok or not. Will feel kinda lost w/o her Wet_p
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Hey sweetie.. well, i would say tat i have encountered sum of those which u juz mentioned ... m glad tat we r frens Wet_p
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1/9/2007 6:28 am |
ignore everyone and dont think about any other things except be with your granny!! we will be here if you need someone to talk. lots of hugs and kisses. x jas
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ignore everyone and dont think about any other things except be with your granny!! we will be here if you need someone to talk. lots of hugs and kisses. x jas being wit her whenever i can thxs dearWet_p
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