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Blogs > bustinout20202 > My Second Act |
I’ve Said Too Much
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Never too much 😜 Thanks for stopping by! mwah! ~Busti ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~
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also believe one can love others for different reasons as life goes on; and that there isn’t just a “one and only” for everyone. ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~
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I used to be in the There Can Only Be One camp for most of my life. Like you, my now ex-wife's infidelity caused me to question everything. I ended up in online relationships but neither one was meant to be a real life situation and yet the feelings were there. I too believe it is possible to love more than one person at a time. But in terms of living a life with more than one, relationship-wise, I'm not entirely certain that's feasible. As for expressing your views freely I think it's just a matter of "reading the room" to see if your point of view can given without eye-rolling or lack of understanding. Too many times others try to place their moral standards on everyone else. I suspect that yes you spoke out because you may have felt left out or needed to balance the conversation. There is no one right way to be in a relationship. We all make our own choices and decide whether or not to live with them. You keep on going being You. That's what counts, right? I think I am just coming into being "me" at this stage. Thanks so much for sharing!! ~Busti ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~
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Ummm...the no wedding ring is because its usually off when we play...giggle! I agree with all of your thoughts, Eros. When living through the hardest parts of my situation, I remember thinking about all the famous couples who've had lovers as their muses and yet their marriages survived. I think we would all breathe much easier if there was the understanding that there could be more than one or the option to look from the get-go. I find it fascinating on here how so many couples who have been married for decades monogamously, decide they want to experience the poly lifestyle to "spice things up" in their own relationship. I wish we would have approached it that way in the beginning; in agreement to explore, but tbh, I would've hung onto the old mindset I'm afraid. Being forced to look at it through discovery of his choices might have been the only way for me to consider alternatives. I support your view of either/both sex having the choice to pursue other partners...gives a whole new twist to the term "marriage equality", lol. And being "on the cutting edge" is what I think gives rise to my wanting to be more vocal about it at times. I am appreciative that there is a place to discuss these things openly here. Thanks so much for contributing to the conversation! Mwah! ~Busti ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~
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Okay, this had me laughing out loud this morning! ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~
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We are going to need a really big conference room to accommodate the tubs! Better still, let's have the meeting at the hot tubs!!! ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~
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Ha, love the mask!! I have to say I greatly admire your courage in pursuing this most atypical path, as well as your bravery in being so open about it. Exploring My Dating Options The Trip from Hell Epilogue DYOT, on HNW [post 3312759] My Private Post - Tell Me ALL Your Secrets – Anything you write here is just between us You know, your encouragement from the very beginning of starting this blog [btw, it's been a year already!] has helped me to be brave and open...so thank you for that!! {=} ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~
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Rstupenda ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~
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No one is everything in my opinion. Does that mean everyone should look elsewhere? No. Does that people shouldn't look elsewhere? No. Does looking elsewhere mean you have to end what you have? No. You can. Or you can evolve what you have. Leaving is actually one way to evolve. Online only, occasional affairs, long term affairs, living with the current situation without straying... All options Btw, I popped over and read some of your blog. I haven't used the chat rooms much, tho' I've been in the local one. It seems a bit chaotic to me. But like you said, online can be both open or not. Thanks so much for sharing! ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~
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10/3/2021 8:27 pm |
Thanks so much for the read. How does it strike home for you??
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I like how you talkd about leaving your marriage,but decided to stay and talk about it...then deciding to have an open relationship. Yes , hits home for me as my spouse is wonderful in every way, just not in the boudoiur.....we are opposites in that regard. I have a voracious appetite for sex and she has very little. Been wanting to have a conversation with her about opening up our relationship....and I am waiting for the timing to be right..... ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~
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Okay, so not many philosophical problems would get solved in that round table..er, tub discussion, but it'd be worth it to try!! ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~
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FrankeeZee, my buddy from another site, is kool. He keeps me honest. ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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As interesting as ever McBusti. In my experience, no matter how much our story seems the same as every one else's, it's almost always so completely different, if that makes sense. Who really know what goes on to get us where we are, except for ourselves.....and so who is anyone else to judge us?
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As interesting as ever McBusti. In my experience, no matter how much our story seems the same as every one else's, it's almost always so completely different, if that makes sense. Who really know what goes on to get us where we are, except for ourselves.....and so who is anyone else to judge us? Always appreciate you coming by! Mwah!! {=} ~McBusti ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~
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Infidelity is always a difficult topic to talk about whether it's with your partner, friends, family or colleagues - there are so many feelings and judgements involved. But your choice to remain seems to have worked for you, which is great.
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10/5/2021 11:51 am |
Very interesting and thoughtful post. As to loving more than one person -it's totally possible and something I have experienced. When I had to break it off it was hurtful for both of us, but it made sense. I still love her and will not forget her, and I still love my wife. I have found that you can love people for different reasons.
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10/6/2021 4:44 pm |
is very sexy your fotorafics bb i want u much
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10/6/2021 4:45 pm |
marcosdi_cardoso
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You could never say too much
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Interesting take. Food for thought for sure.
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My late husband and I were polyamorous. WE each had another partner for years I struggled at the beginning with feelings of jealousy, But worked through it, and ended up not just comfortable, but happy with the situation. Then cancer struck, and all the time consuming energy and emotions that go along with that. Our other relationships fell by the wayside. Not saying that putting our other loves on the back burner was the wrong path to take, but it was hurtful in some ways for our other partners.. who had no primaries of their own. Anyway, after he was gone, I contemplated entering into a few already established poly relationships. In the end, decided I cannot do it without having a primary partner of my own. I hate to admit it, I'm still too fragile to not to have my own support system in place.
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My late husband and I were polyamorous. WE each had another partner for years I struggled at the beginning with feelings of jealousy, But worked through it, and ended up not just comfortable, but happy with the situation. Then cancer struck, and all the time consuming energy and emotions that go along with that. Our other relationships fell by the wayside. Not saying that putting our other loves on the back burner was the wrong path to take, but it was hurtful in some ways for our other partners.. who had no primaries of their own. Anyway, after he was gone, I contemplated entering into a few already established poly relationships. In the end, decided I cannot do it without having a primary partner of my own. I hate to admit it, I'm still too fragile to not to have my own support system in place. ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~
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I loved this post. I keep things to myself about my lifestyle to my friends cause they will never understand it. I have a friend or two here I can talk to about things.
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I loved this post. I keep things to myself about my lifestyle to my friends cause they will never understand it. I have a friend or two here I can talk to about things. It makes me think of those police shows where the detectives find their phones with hidden texts from their secret "pals" on there. I often wonder what folks will find after I'm gone...the secrets, the loves, the tales I've told here... ~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~
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