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when christy says do it..........
when christy says do it.......... christylovesfun set me on a path a week or so ago that's been difficult but interesting. she mentioned that she had made amends to people she had harmed in some way. not being the serial killer type or even an insensitive person, i wondered what horrible things such a lovely person could have done but as i sat there reading her blog, incidents kept popping into my head. my comment to her "sometimes i want to kick you in the ankles". i knew i, like lucy, had some 'splainin" to do. little things can mean a lot. a thank you for some extraordinary work that never got said - well that rankles over time. i was busy i say to myself. wow, so busy you couldn't take 2 minutes to thank someone who'd worked like a dog? um, er, well..... so i made a list. some of the items went back years. some were as recent as a few days ago. none of them would put me in jail but all of them made me cringe. i think of myself as a good person. still do. but now i realize that i need to slow down. what's the most important part of my life? and will a pristine budget with supportive graphs ensure that for me? not so much. my brother called me last night. we spent an hour or so talking about him buying a harley. he had one as a young man and he was happy then. there's no way i can afford to buy him a harley, but we tried to figure it out. today he called me back and said never mind, it was just crazy but thanks for going there with me. and i'm glad i did. we all need a little bliss or maybe just the idea of a little bliss. it helps us get through the un-blissful times. the idea of an examined life is a good one. but please, don't get so carried away that you dissect every little thing until you've driven yourself and all around you into the bin. sometimes a cigar really is just a cigar. smoke it and move on. so, i've made my amends. most people looked at me like i was a bit crazy. smiles. but all in all, i think it went well. it felt good to say i was sorry and even if they didn't remember the moment, they appreciated the idea. so dear christy....paying it forward can take many shapes i think. one dear friend says she will call her mother about something she said to her. your words continue their journey beyond blogville into the world. namaste You cannot conceive the many without the one. |
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I've resolved the big ones, but since I'm not going to live long enough to go through all my secondary and tertiary indiscrestion, everybody else will just have to wait and piss on my grave. Jokes on them though...I'm getting cemated.
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I try to thank my staff as often as I can remember, but god knows I push them hard. Especially one of them who does really good work but is very slow paced. He is methodical and won't be rushed. I probably need to lighten up on him a tech. Thanks for making me think (as usual).
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Your list mustn't have been too long! Here's hoping that the next time I do this, in about 10 years, I'll have nothing left unaddressed. Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety. Other women cloy The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry Where most she satisfies. For vilest things Become themselves in her, that the holy priests Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra
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"sometimes a cigar really is just a cigar." Bite yer tongue, ya east coast buzzard! Anyone who's ever puffed on a Liga IV knows that 'sometimes a cigar... really is a cigar'! Now... as for bein' sorry-- If I offered up apologies for everything I should (or even could), I'd have very little time left for offering up forgiveness. (BTW: forgiveness ALWAYS enures to the forgiver--not to the forgiven.) So... I suppose that might could be considered me just bein' selfish. I can truthfully say, though... I really don't want to face the rest of my earthly (or after-) life bein' guilty of holding too many grudges. Solar...
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1/25/2012 1:58 pm |
Yes, I agree, Christy is a good one.
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Great post. I used to teach the 12 step program based on the Melody Beattie books, "Codependency No More". One of the most important lessons I taught was; You never quit working your steps. Once you go through the steps the first time, you go back and revisit them. Maybe not in order but more akin to step 3 then step 8 then step 5...I work my steps most times as second nature but it's good to be reminded. Thank you to both you and Christy.
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