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| Blogs > wickedeasy > wicked and that ain't so easy |
when good men say nothing
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when good men say nothing i am part of a discussion group and one of the threads we had recently was about what one should do if an injustice happens right in front of you. sort of like that show on tv. but in this case it actually happened to one of the guys in the group when a store clerk made a terrible comment to him while he was checking out of the store. he simply walked out of the store leaving his entire order sitting on the belt. not enough...she clled the police and said he'd shoplifted and he was actually stopped by the police on his way home. clearly, nothing happened to him and he reported it to management later on the phone. my comment was that that wasn't enough, even though the women was fired. to walk away seemed wrong to me, letting her off the hook in a way that gave what she did some level of credibility....she won. at least for that moment. she lost in the end, but still. he said that if he had said something to her, because he was a man, he would have been perceived as a bully. this makes me wonder how fragile our sense of right and wrong is if indeed calling someone on an inappropriate action would be looked at askance based on the gender of the participants. i mean, if he'd leaned over and grabbed her shirt and yelled at her, okay, maybe too much. but if he'd said, excuse me, i'd like a manager please. you have no right to speak to me that way, based on how i'm dressed. really?? that's a bully? he said male to female is a bully. period. i say bullpucky. call it at the moment. if you don't, you're chicken. and that all it takes is " for good men to say nothing". what say you? You cannot conceive the many without the one. |
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Double standards go both ways. How many times have you seen a man portrayed on television as a drooling idiot? How many times have you seen a man get kicked in the nuts? But it's sexist to show a stupid woman (Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman unfortunately excepted), and can you imagine the outrage if a man kicked a woman in the groin? I don't mean to sound misogynistic, but another thing. Woman (rightfully) fought for years to have equal job opportunities to those of men. But when was the last time you saw women applying for jobs digging ditches or shoveling shit? Last time I checked, there was no connection between the penis and the shovel. Just like there is no connection between the vagina and the library.
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I can't speak to the incident above; I wasn't there. It's easy for it to be perceived as bullying, especially if the man is: older, aggressive, insulting, raises his voice, etc. and especially when the man is in a relative position of perceived power (customer vs. customer service). Me, I speak up, even when my voice shakes... and it does, frequently. Usually in defense of someone else. Be polite, be soft spoken, be reasonable... if possible, point out what exactly they're doing that's wrong in a way that gives them an 'out'.. and speak up. Especially for those are in positions where they cannot defend themselves. I would hope anyone, regardless of gender, would do the same.
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Without knowing the full details, it's hard to say (was race an issue too? If he was afraid of being "racially profiled" by law enforcement, that may have factored in to his hesitation to be confrontational). I actually think he handled it fairly well - he denied the store his business; and the stupid woman shot herself in the foot by calling the cops on him.   
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I agree with you. That's what I try to do, but sometimes it's easier said than done. Whats the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
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There are women who are bullies too. Unfortunately I worked for one a few years ago. I don't know the circumstances because I wasn't there but I am sure the man could have defended his position through other witnesses (customers) or through the inevitable store video camera. He should have asked to see the manager and stood up for his rights. Never ignore those who care for you you will have lost diamonds while you were collecting stones
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i do not know we...good people say things or dont...it is a hard one to call...she got in the end what she deserved...that is the bottom line and justice...not much more i can say!!!!  []   Seduce my mind and my body
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(Wow, this is really an impressive group of bloggers.) . I don't see where D had a choice but to handle it the way he did. We (men) can quickly be accused of being mean bullies. Heck, he didn't do nothing and she called the cops on him.
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Without details, it would be difficult to offer an opinion. Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety. Other women cloy The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry Where most she satisfies. For vilest things Become themselves in her, that the holy priests Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra
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