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Things I do While Naked, Part 1
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Things I do While Naked, Part 1 The walk had started about two in the afternoon. I parked my truck, stowed the spare key in the wheel well, and bounced up the 10-foot rise to the very popular Burke-Gilman Trail just east of Gas Works Park and headed east toward the recently renovated section of the trail by the University of Washington. As I walked alongside the busy street, I became aware of just how comfortable I was. The pony tail holder in my hair was the only thing I wore. I'd never been completely comfortable and relaxed while walking completely naked in a city in the early afternoon, so I continued. After about half a mile the trail crossed onto the University campus, where the student housing was. Not far after that I just missed a crossing signal at a busy intersection and had to wait for the light to come around. When it did I jogged across the hot street and up the trail a bit before returning to a walk. The reactions from others on the trail were generally positive, or nothing at all. There were very few negative reactions: scowls or looking away. After about 2-1/4 miles I decided my bare feet should turn around. A sly smile and a pleasant “forgot something” greeted me as I retraced my path. As I waited at the light again, I saw someone on the other side of the street point me out to a campus patrol cart. “No big deal,” I thought, “because nudity is legal here.” The trail turned away from the streetside, and as I reached the next street to cross I heard the split-second “bwoop” of a campus<b> police </font></b>car behind me and the speakers from that vehicle requesting I stop. I stopped. I turned back toward the car and walked around to the driver's side where the driver was already getting out. “Why are you running around naked,” the officer asked. “It's hot,” I replied. “Have you got any clothes?” “They're in my car.” “We got a lot of calls about you.” “Oh, I didn't expect that. Sorry. I was just headed back to my vehicle. I can put my clothes on there and be out of your hair.” “How about we give you a ride?” “Okay, thanks,” I said. They opened the back door and I sat down with one foot still on the ground.” “Don't get me wrong, we're not arresting you or detaining you, but we want the calls to stop.” “Sure, I understand.” “Are you a nudist or naturist,” the officer asked. “Yep. Have been since I was 8,” I replied. “Okay, that's cool. Usually when we get a call about a naked man there's something else going on.” Then another officer arrived on the scene, looked at me, looked at the first officer, and said, “How come he's running around naked?” The first officer replied, “it's hot.” There was a silence, and he continued, ”he's a naturist.” The new officer smiled, “okay, that's fine, but next time you can avoid having people call us if you just wear a speedo or something.” At this point I noticed that a fourth, female, officer was also on the scene. “Fair enough," I said. "When I've lost a little more weight I'll consider a Speedo. They don't look good with a muffin top.” “And you think you look better nude,” asked the fourth officer. “Everyone does,” I replied. She nodded. “So what do you think we should do with you?” “Give me a ride back to my vehicle where I can put on my clothes and be on my way.” “That's reasonable,” she replied. “Are you too hot? Do we need to call for some medical help?” “No, thanks. Just the ride in the car will be fine.” And it was so. As the first officer prepared to close the door to the back seat I was in, he said, “we're not arresting you, but this door won't open.” “Of course it won't. It's a<b> police </font></b>car.” “Have you been in one before? Or seen them on TV?” He replied, “that and it just makes sense. But, yeah, I've gotten a ride in a<b> police </font></b>car before. My car broke down and I got a lift.” “Okay, we're going to give you a ride to your car.“ “Thanks. Sorry for the inconvenience.” “Don't get me wrong,” the first officer said, “this is the most amusing thing that's happened to me all day.” “Well, I'm glad I could provide you with some entertainment.” The officer smiled and closed the door. As we approached the area where I had parked, the second officer asked, “did you just leave your key in the car?” “No,” I replied, “I have a magnetic spare key box in the wheel well.” “That was a good question,” the first officer said. “I didn't ask it because I was afraid he'd answer and I didn't want to go there. 'Can you get my key out of there?' ” We all laughed. When we arrived at my truck, the officer stood by the door, waiting to open it. “I just want the road to be clear. I don't want to lose the door.” “Sure. No worries.” The officer looked around for anyone watching. “I don't want to be on the news.” When he was satisfied, he started to open the door. The second officer said, “there's still two people over there who might see.” “After all this I don't think it matters,” said the first as he opened the door. I climbed out of the<b> police </font></b>car, thanked them for the ride, and went around to the rear wheel well of the big pickup truck, reached into the well, and produced a box. “One magnetic box.” I removed the key. “One key.” Unlocking the driver's door, I said, “one open truck,” and reached across the bench seat to recover a pair of cut-off blue jean shorts. “One pair of shorts,” I said, putting them on. “You're the first naked man I've encountered that I didn't have to fight. There's usually something else going on.” “A lot of people can't separate nudity and sexuality.” The officer replied, “like my wife. She doesn't do either.” “Well, thanks for the ride.” Total time: 97 minutes. Total witnesses: at least 250. Total distance walked: about 3-1/2 miles. Distance in the<b> police </font></b>car: about a mile. A great walk and a delightful conversation with several<b> police </font></b>officers: priceless. |
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