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Lowering the Curtain... Do Any of Us Have a Real Choice... ๐คโ
Lowering the Curtain... Do Any of Us Have a Real Choice... ๐คโ We asked her how she'd do it; his sister had worked out a spurious plan. She persuaded the nurses he wanted fresh air and wheeled him down the halls and into the van and along the road toward that church basement. That's where we all waited; where we all met him, to say goodbye. Tony was the most violent drummer I'd ever met. His cascading rolls and sick frills were epic. Things he did on his drum kit - I could only dream of replicating. He, of course, was surprised to see us all there; 10 of his closest friends, musicians mostly. The beer flowed while the music played and we toasted meaningless invocations to his health; irrelevant pagan rituals born of habit. Tony grinned from ear to ear as we all regaled him in stories and adventures we'd shared. Each of us had a moment or two, where we spoke with him and clutched his shoulder or arm and exchanged a thought. For a while we'd all forgotten why we were there; the beer had dimmed reality, and we were convinced there'd be a ' next time' When he had to leave, he lifted his frail arms and waved. Tears spilt from his sunken eyes, but we knew he was happy. His sister bit her lip and tried to smile... she failed and inhaled a sob as she nodded to us and pushed his chair back to the van. We stood there and waved for the last time; then hung around till the beer was gone, and the vodka... and then the whisky. We were in that hall for a long while talking about Tony, retelling tales we'd all told before. Tony passed away peacefully a month ago, with only his sister by his side. I was at home working when I got the message, but I wasn't sad. I smiled, knowing I'd had a chance to see him one last time - some folks these days aren't as lucky. I can't think of anything worse than being alone without a chance to say goodbye. Choices - none of us has them when it comes to that final curtain, do we? ................................ ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O |
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Tony played a white set of Rogers. The picture you see is of my drum kit - TAMA - taken a couple of years ago at one of my gigs. ๐ ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Am I morbid or do you think about stuff like this?๐ค ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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12/11/2020 11:27 am |
Sorry about your loss, seem he was talented and a good person. By saying your good byes before they die, help with the healing process. Thanks for sharing this story with us
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Am I morbid or do you think about stuff like this?๐ค
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Sorry for your loss, nice that there was a chance to say good bye.
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You're not morbid by any means. I'm in a fairly unique situation and will learn what my survival chances are next week. I want to know. I want to know how much time I will have to get my life in order. It's a subtraction issue. What shape will I be in a month before or two months before? So I need to plan backwards. I have a great friend who lives in AZ. She calls and we visit about lots of nothing but she gloms on to the topic and relates to what's being said and we both end up laughing because it reminds us of one of our many adventures. Your friend was lucky to have that time with all of you to visit, laugh, and to know he won't be forgotten. Have a great weekend! Never ignore those who care for you you will have lost diamonds while you were collecting stones
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Sorry for your loss.... at least he got a send off from friends and family he could appreciate..... well done!
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That bug has certainly limited our choices - that's for sure. With the vaccine coming soon, that should help - right? ๐ค ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Sorry for your loss as well. At least I got to see my buddy. Still it was a bitter sweet time spent with him. Damn was he a crazy drummer. So loud and powerful. The whole stage would vibrate when he played. lol ๐ ๐ฎ ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Sorry about your loss, seem he was talented and a good person. By saying your good byes before they die, help with the healing process. Thanks for sharing this story with us It's rare to say goodbye to someone before they're gone. Have you ever happened to experience anything similar? ๐ค ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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When you have gone through it with someone like I have, I don't think it's morbid at all. WHen my husband came from from the hospital his last time, I basically held open house so his friends could visit one last time. At first I kept thinking it was for "him", what he wanted, which he did, but in the end it meant more to his friends to be able to say their goodbyes. They too spent a lot of time gathered out on the deck, swapping stories and telling tales about him, some from his brothers which I had never heard. Did any of those stories surprise you? ๐ค ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Sorry for your loss, nice that there was a chance to say good bye. Have you ever had a similar experience? ๐ค ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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You're not morbid by any means. I'm in a fairly unique situation and will learn what my survival chances are next week. I want to know. I want to know how much time I will have to get my life in order. It's a subtraction issue. What shape will I be in a month before or two months before? So I need to plan backwards. I have a great friend who lives in AZ. She calls and we visit about lots of nothing but she gloms on to the topic and relates to what's being said and we both end up laughing because it reminds us of one of our many adventures. Your friend was lucky to have that time with all of you to visit, laugh, and to know he won't be forgotten. Have a great weekend! Working backwards... I never thought about it like that, but that's the way you have to look at it. Wishing you luck sounds hollow. I hope you manage your curtain at your time and on your terms. โ๐ ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Sorry for your loss.... at least he got a send off from friends and family he could appreciate..... well done! It was the first time I've ever been part of something like that. Have you? ๐ค Now, I could tell you about some great wakes I've been to... lol ๐ Epic! ๐ ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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No....its not morbid....not at all. As someone who has experienced great loss...you know my thoughts are pervasive at times...you read my blogs and know this. Your send off...sounds like the best and i just know he appreciated that time with all of you. People need that....it helps in the process of loss. Altho this story brought tears....i loved it. Thank you for sharing. You write well...i felt as if i were there. No...we dont have choices for that final curtain, you all did that curtain call as best as could be. Im immersed in sorrow for your loss. Tony sounds like one of the good ones~~
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I think that final get-together was a wonderful gift. I've heard of other situations where someone engineers a sort of "wake" before the person dies - it seems like a great idea to me. Why not be able to hear people's stories and tributes? I've not experienced anything exactly like that, but I did get to be with each of my parents during their last few days.
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No....its not morbid....not at all. As someone who has experienced great loss...you know my thoughts are pervasive at times...you read my blogs and know this. Your send off...sounds like the best and i just know he appreciated that time with all of you. People need that....it helps in the process of loss. Altho this story brought tears....i loved it. Thank you for sharing. You write well...i felt as if i were there. No...we dont have choices for that final curtain, you all did that curtain call as best as could be. Im immersed in sorrow for your loss. Tony sounds like one of the good ones~~ Tony was a great guy that I'd known for more than 40 years and his personality was as gregarious as his style on the drums. We had a great time, all things considered. I wonder if I'll have that same privilege or will I just get hit by lightning one day - while snacking a golf ball around. Life... ya never know, do ya? lol ๐ Thanks for popping in; I'll be more jolly next time. I promise! ๐ ๐ ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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12/11/2020 5:22 pm |
Sorry to hear about your friend. I think about death from time to time.
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I think that final get-together was a wonderful gift. I've heard of other situations where someone engineers a sort of "wake" before the person dies - it seems like a great idea to me. Why not be able to hear people's stories and tributes? I've not experienced anything exactly like that, but I did get to be with each of my parents during their last few days. You were lucky to be with your parents. โ ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Sorry to hear about your friend. I think about death from time to time. Yep I think about it as well. That's all I plan on doing. ๐๐คโ ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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No, you're not morbid. Unless you sit around reading obituaries. I think it's wonderful to give your friend that final blessing of friendship while he was alive to appreciate it. I'm sorry for your loss. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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No, you're not morbid. Unless you sit around reading obituaries. I think it's wonderful to give your friend that final blessing of friendship while he was alive to appreciate it. I'm sorry for your loss. This all took place just at the start of the bug. He endured longer than anyone would have predicted. Sad, that he was alone for his last few but he was happy when we all met. He was a nice man - always smiling and in a good mood. I think ya woulda liked him. โโ๐ ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Dear Paul, I am so sorry for your loss..I will send up some extra prayers for your dear friend.. As long as you remember them, they have not left you. Let the memories of him lift your spirits. I think especially after this virus year, everyone is thinking about Death..At holiday times it can intensify, My deepest condolences on your Loss, Hugs, Ana6
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Dear Paul, I am so sorry for your loss..I will send up some extra prayers for your dear friend.. As long as you remember them, they have not left you. Let the memories of him lift your spirits. I think especially after this virus year, everyone is thinking about Death..At holiday times it can intensify, My deepest condolences on your Loss, Hugs, Ana6 Although... I don't want to make it seem THAT dramatic. We had the privilege of saying goodbye, in the form of a party. And that was the question; don't we all deserve that party BEFORE the CURTAIN comes down? ๐ค I mean, wouldn't it be great if we had one big bash while we were still alive to enjoy it? Thanks for sharing your kind words. ๐นโ๐ ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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It sounds pretty much what we did that day. And you're right - it was for us as much as it was for him. Did any of those stories surprise you? ๐ค
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