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The Lifestyle Online II
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The Lifestyle Online II Each Dominant will have their set of rules for you to obey this is just the basic policy used and seems to be very successful. Acceptance: This is the ability to see and accept your self for whom and what you are be they your good points or your bad ones. This includes knowing your limitations yet keeping the thought that things can change and knowing you will change as well. This is the ability to let yourself be who you are to take pride and pleasure in the person you are and not lose that acceptance because someone said you are not what you know you are. Communication: This is the ability to talk openly and honestly about what is in your heart and mind, your opinions and beliefs, your needs verses your wants, your responses or reactions, basically to be able to talk about everything. This ability also calls into play the honesty of the submissive and the Dominant. Once open communication has been established it should remain that way and will do so provided the submissive does not stop communicating honestly. To not communicate is to endanger your self physically and emotionally. Communication need not always be verbal. Just so long as what you need to say to your partner gets said to them, then the lines of communication stay open. For example, you may find a particular topic easier to write about in your<b> journal </font></b>and thus tell your partner that way. This is still communicating. Courtesy: This one is fairly self explanatory but many people have asked me for specifics on courtesy. Since the specifics of this one vary with each relationship I will only address general manners. It is the ability to show proper courtesy by using please and thank you addressing people with general respect and courtesy. Grace: This is another whose specifics varies with each relationship, but is basically the ability to not appear stilted or halting in your movements. I'm not sure this one is of major importance to many people but has come up frequently. Of course this may be affected by physical limitations that will reduce its importance. Growth: The ability to grow within your self look for and attain new goals. Be these mental, emotional or physical goals. The ability to continue to grow and sharpen your abilities is very important as it prevents the relationship from stagnating and helps you to grow as a submissive and thus discover new ways to please or serve your Dominant. Honesty: Personally I feel this shouldn't need to be said but there are far too many people who lack honesty so it has to be said. Honesty is the ability to speak up, be open and truthful about what you say. Don't hide your emotions, fears, limits, fantasies, ideas and thoughts. Don't tell the Dominant what you think he/she wants to hear. A successful submissive is an honest person, one who does not lie, deceive, or intentionally manipulate. Honesty builds trust. Trust is the basis of a relationship. To lie breaks down the trust and therefore the relationship by removing its very foundation. Humility: This is basically the ability to see that you can be fallible. A successful submissive knows they will make mistakes and that they are not perfect. A successful submissive admits his/her mistakes and strives to correct them. Creating an attitude of being better than anyone else is not a desired trait. Having a sense of pride is good but humility is necessary to prevent one from being arrogant. Intelligence: By intelligence I don't mean book smart, the ability to do long involved mathematical equations. As it applies to a successful submissive, intelligence is the ability to think for them selves. The ability to make informed decisions about whom to submit to and just how far submission goes. The ability to take the time to learn their partner outside the roles of Dominant and submissive, to learn them as the person they are, their likes and dislikes. The ability to learn what pleases their Dominant and remembers those things. Loyalty: This is a very important trait in a submissive. It is the ability to uphold your Dominants rules over anyone else. A successful submissive will not act in a manner that will raise doubts about his/her commitment to their Dominant. It is upholding your end of the agreement made with your partner to the best of your abilities. This can also mean standing by your partner when difficulties arise. This tends to come hand in hand with commitment and both are necessary for a long term relationship to survive. Obedience: This is exactly what is in everyday life, the ability to do what you are told. Within a power exchange relationship this means willingly following the terms of your Dominant and doing what you are told. Willing obedience is pleasing to the submissive as well as the Dominant. This can directly relate to the person's submissiveness. A submissive does not obey because they fear their Dominant they obey because they have an intense need to please the Dominant. This does not mean blind obedience (never question anything). Specifics regarding obedience do vary with each relationship, but obeying ones Dominant is part of a power exchange relationship and is expected. Open Mind: This is the ability to view things with as little preset prejudice as possible. To maintain the ability to learn new things and be open to trying something new or different. It directly compliments Growth.  |
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