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| Blogs > slidein2meplz > Mystical Mistress's Palace... |
Lurking in the darkness....and trying to find the way out...
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Lurking in the darkness....and trying to find the way out... I had rec'd an email from Tiller today...BTW.....She's fine...all is well. Anyway...as I wrote to her in reply I decided I might as well share with you all what's been lurking in the darkness of ~~ Slide ~~ So, here is part of what I sent to Till's. Meanwhile..back at the ranch...I am struggling with my own self inflicted crap. IE: I'm madder 'n hell at myself for leaving my old job...the one I was at for 11 years. Still haven't gotten any back pay from the ex-employer. Just lip service. My motivation just doesn't seem to be here right now...yet I know that I have to do something. My problem is....getting past my depression over it all...and taking those steps. I have all the right tools to overcome this....but being human... I guess I need to wallow in it a bit. I know I need to sit down in front of my Buddhist alter and chant my ass off....for at least an hour a day....maybe more. I need to follow the advice or encouragement I've given to other people. But... I feel better helping someone else...than I do for myself. I am pretty good at supporting other people and offering what little pearls of wisdom I have in this or that situation...but applying it to myself...is another matter all together. Isn't it curious...how people are like that? Job hunting sucks. Truth of the matter is, is that I don't want to work for someone...I don't like anyone watching over my back. I just want to know what the task is then leave me the hell alone and let me do it. I've thought many times about trying to come up with a way to work for myself doing what I do best...warranty submittal...but haven't a clue how to go about making that happen. I'm just not ...an entrepreneur sort of person. Plus the $$$ to get it started. How to figure what to charge a if I were able to find them. I'm stuck in a rut not knowing what I want to do, versus what I can do. Which then causes me to doubt whether I can do anything at all and be of value to some company. I wonder if I'm as good as I thought I was...or was it more just in my head. I have only myself to blame for this one....and only myself will get past it....if I use the tools at my disposal. I guess when I'm done kicking myself and find it within the depths of my being to forgive myself maybe I can find my way out. Except... It feels like the light is a long, long way off and the tunnel is very deep...I've got a lot of work ahead of me. Now it's just a matter of picking the right tool for the job....isn't it? Anyone have any tools they don't mind lending?  ~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~  |
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Thanks DOC...how true your words are. ~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~
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Hi cumtounge. Yes, those damn road blocks get in the way every time don't they? Thanks...and I'll send some your way as well. Good luck to you. ~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~
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1/24/2006 11:17 pm |
use your angels wings you will fly faster  *hugs* TTFN
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1/25/2006 9:58 am |
You've used a wonderful starting tool: laying it all out in front of you. You might find you'll have a much more pleasurable experience while working for someone else if you go into it with the attitude that's it's a necessary stepping stone to becoming your own boss. Smile, knowing it won't be forever.
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Thanks RLP...as soon as I can find them somewhere in this mess, I'll dig 'em out and brush off the dust. ~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~
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Thanks DT. It is necessary...this I do know deep down inside...lot's of knowledge and experience...also potential contacts can be gleamed from it. I think I'm shell shocked from experiencing bad supervisors/bosses....that it just causes me such anxiety for fear I'll be in a position to have to deal with that again. This is where my main blockage resides in the darkness of my being. ~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~
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1/25/2006 7:44 pm |
I up and quit my job of over 5 1/2 years a few weeks ago; February 3 is my last day. I was fed up, like you... now I am scared and depresssed and a lot of other things, like you. I finally finished my resume this evening and the idea of interviewing about has me petrified into permanent immobility. However, as a good friend was saying to me earlier this evening, DO NOT LET HIM WIN!!! (him being the life-force-sucked-out-of-me former employer). So, I will buck up and tomorrow I will kick some job hunting BUTT, care to join me? *hugs* Apparently the depth of depravity here is bottomless... don't you feel right at home? ~~~~~
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that sucks... Feisty. Feb. 3 is my mom's birthday. Good luck... if I was in Phx.. I'd say hell ya... we'll have a job hunting party...lol ~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~
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1/25/2006 9:51 pm |
sorry to interrupt, we have an emergency situation [post 215193] please go to TheLilFondler 's blog and show your support... she's being harrassed and stalked and needs EVERYONE's help, now! ...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!... 
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ROFLMAO...TIRES...you kill me. Yep...that's what my dad always said. Except he called duct tape... 60 mph tape. LOL. ~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~
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Ok Sorceror... I'll go see and offer what I can. I'm not really wanting to get too terribly involved in this stuff...but I'll go and support as best as I can. ~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~
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I hear ya Slide, I am going to be in that boat also shortly. I know that I could find a job in another state, but is that what I want to do? Well keep you head up and there should be someone looking for someone like you. I sure as heck could never figure out those warranties. It seems to me County, State, Federal jobs would be out there for this type of position. If not might be time to sell the service to them.(No Pun intended) FUN
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Hey FUN... Thanks and good luck to you when you get out of the service and start your job hunt. ~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~
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So...candy69swsweetyou have a hammer...COOL...but I think I'd get into a butt load of trouble if I used it on an ex boss....but oh, that does sound like so much fun. LOL... Thanks gf.. Love ya..cuz your so awesome. I just know you'll get your promotion. ~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~
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