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Blogs > secret_lade > Ramblings of the depraved..... |
The Graduation Open House
The Graduation Open House My Ex Husband hosted the graduation open house for my last night..... Have you ever had one of those eye-opening experiences where you're able sit back and view it from a distance? Through a different set of eyes?? Well, I had one of those moments, and.... I realize just how far I've come and just how much better my life is now. Divorce was a good look for me. I picked The Spawn after I got out of work and headed the Ex's. A group of people had already begun assembling but my Middle was nowhere be found. The only person I knew in the group was my ex. Fantastic. The Ex Husband started introducing the group and telling how they knew Middle when he got a muppet looking guy holding a plastic cup containing a mixed drink. "Hi [secret_lade], remember me? It's Trevor!" Uh, yah. Had no clue who this guy was. I didn't pretend either. "I do not remember, I'm sorry. It's been a while." I was expecting him tell how we may have known each other in the past.... Nothing. Not even crickets. Ok then. The introductions continued and I was pleasant, telling everyone I was happy meet them. By now, people I did know from my past life with my Ex had started show and everyone was getting a little more lively. It's a strange dynamic, though, being an Ex within a group of people who were once your people. There is an unwritten rule in , though, that one-time-friends can't even acknowledge your existence until it has been allowed by the reigning spouse who got them during the divorce. It was at this moment that I really began take a step back and view the scene from a distance. the right side a group of worn out drinking<b> buddies </font></b>I had known from years past. the left side ex-coworkers of my now retired ex husband. Across from a new group of drinking friends that had been accumulated after the divorce. I realized, in this moment, I had no desire what-so-ever for these individuals be my people. In an odd way, it felt like a growth moment for me. I've outgrown that redneck drinking circle that kept my true self tucked away, hidden from the world under the guise of so-and-so's wife. I spent a lot of years hiding the fact that I was smart and talented and funny so I would fit into that mold to be one of the circle. I wound feeling kind of superior them . Superior because.... I wasn't afraid be myself. I made my stupid jokes, I didn't dumb down my conversation, and I didn't care that I showed up dressed in my work clothes and everyone else was wearing old jeans and t-shirts. It felt good be . And, for the first time in quite a few days, I didn't end my day in tears. Happy Thursday! |
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