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Maybe I overdid it?
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Maybe I overdid it? Several months ago, I chatted with a nice older gentleman in one of the chat rooms. We seemed to hit it off so after a few mail exchanges on the site, we started chatting privately off site. We chatted that way for a couple of weeks, about twice a week. After getting to know each other, we each shared some personal life experiences and expressed an interest in meeting...but...he lives in the midwest and I live on the west coast. That damn Affairlook rule lol Then one evening, he started to talk a bit more sexually<b> explicit. </font></b>Cyber sex. I am a hugger, even on-line; that was about all the intro to this change. I had a couple statements on my profile that I wasn't interested in cyber sex, that I was looking for real life (and for those of you that then ask why the hell was I chatting with someone in the midwest? Because, at that time, I felt a connection could be made with anyone, anywhere...location was not an issue if it was good enough). So, I gently and respectfully told him I did not want to go down that path...that always makes me feel like a prude but I know I'm not...so I stick to my feelings lol Long story short, we did not chat extensively after that. I said hello a couple of times and he said hello back, he was busy at work, etc. I saw him in a chat room a few weeks later and I was friendly with him but kept it cordial for the most part. Did I learn my lesson? Hell no lol A couple of weeks later...same scenario....I am an eternal optimist, glass half-full kind of person, believe ppl are essentially good until they prove me wrong. Well, he showed me after a few weeks of chatting that he also was only interested in cyber sex. I said my usual 'not going down that road' and away he went. So....after that, I updated my profile. Re-arranged things, underlined and bolded some statements... And it worked! I wanted to make it more clear to guys what I wanted and expected regarding distance, cyber sex and a few other points. And voila! No more guys hitting on me for cyber sex lol I still get the ones from real young guys and guys of all ages asking if I want to meet up...delete or I reply, tell them they are gold so they need to read my profile. Now I'm wondering if I over did it? I am sincerely wanting to get some advice and feedback....when you have a few minutes, if you feel so inclined, could you read my profile and let me know if I over-did it with the bolding, underlining, etc? It's almost a new year and I'd like to start out on the right foot  Thanks! Read RESPECT WE all NEED to do Better and Re Petition to Stop Transsexuals from Using Female Profiles |
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I don't think you over did it at all...I think it becomes paramount having to explicitly detail out your expectations on a site like this..even more so considering what the general flow of things are like... If anything don't you think your filtering mechanism is working?
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I can relate to it all the way down where you said: hell no! I don't see anything wrong with your profile, but that's just my opinion.  WITHOUT PASSION LIFE IS NOTHING
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Your profile seems clear and succinct to me, however, only paying members can actually read it. The simplest response I can offer is to ignore what does not interest you and focus on that which does. The rest will take care of itself. Be safe, relax and just have fun!
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Well...seeing as you've clearly stated cyber sex isn't the priority and it's not like it's a completely closed window either... The ones that are being pushed away would only be the ones who're looking exclusively to cyber sex....at least that's my take away from it
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It's a roll of the dice on here sometimes, distance seems to be the biggest factor though.
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I don't know much about chat rooms.Other than they are very clickish. I am more of a one on one person.Which is another way of saying I don't type very fast and it makes me sometimes feel as though I am working harder at staying away from using an invention someone over a century ago worked diligently at making a reality. I never understood the attraction of having sex over the phone.That is something there is no replacement for other than the real thing. I read your profile which is extremely rare for me considering I already know you live nowhere near me.It came across as most do to me.That there is an undercurrent of some really disrespectful people that have made what was once a natural and commonsensical way things were done and turned it into an atmosphere where no one takes anyone seriously. I can't write a profile here knowing that anyone and everyone reads it as a pile of lies and disingenuous falderal.I say what I want a woman to hear not what I think she wants to hear.When I was a kid growing up I got in more trouble for saying yes.Instead of yes mamm.If there was one thing my dad made all six of us understand it was respect and courtesy to others. I don't find much of that here sadly.It's kinda nails on a chalkboard and fish out of water thing to me.Sorry I carried on! Using more than all the road!
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I cannot read your profile so all I will offer is a general statement regarding the situation. I see it as a KISS kind of thing. If a profile says, “I don’t . . . “ then the reader has been told what they need to know. Underlining and bolding have placed an emphasis on it – the message is clear. Perhaps here, because people (men and women) don’t always get it, a second mention is useful – but I wouldn’t bother. If someone contacted me asking for something I specifically has said no to I would delete, block and move on. If they are too dumb to get it they are too dumb for me to want to deal with. “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” – Mark Twain "You can't fix stupid." – Ron White When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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Let me get this right... You changed your profile and guys actually responded to it? That's amazing. Usually men only see the pictures and start IM'ing or flirting. I'm standard member, so I can't read your profile, but if you post the text here, I could read it and give some respectful and constructive feedback.
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Considering your putting this out there for horny men to read, AND hoping they will read it, how could you possibly go to far? I think you might have said No Cyber Sex a few more times. I have no interest in Cyber, it sounds boring to me. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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I don't do cyber sex chat either. I always feel awkward about it and can't resist spoiling it with a smart assed remark. I have a very good friend here and I chat with her frequently on a different site. We gig each other and tease but it's never cyber sex- just two friends fucking around. I like being able to say whatever stupid thing pops into my head. I think your profile is very well done. It's a certainty that even men who read your profile will think that there's a a chance they'll be the one who changes your mind about something in it. How they react to your response will the most important thing. My wife and I met online- we each wrote point of view posts about it. The distance was too great and I was still married, even though I was preparing to end my marriage. So there were impediments, but I liked talking to her and I liked reading the stories and essays she had written. We grew to like each other before we ever met in person. We never did cyber sex talk online...but some of our chats sort of looked like that's what we were doing, in retrospect. I saved those chats and I don't look at them often, but when I do it takes me back...and it kind of looks like cyber sex to me!  Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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I guess it depends on how we define cyber sex. Is it just getting a bit suggestive as we chat, or is it more of a full-blown, detailed description of what we think of want to do? I very much agree with BiggLala though. How well the two of you know each other makes a difference too. Probably not a lot different than meeting and chatting in person. It starts out politely, then as both get to know each other and feel more comfortable, the conversation may get more colorful.
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