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Whining about the woes of being a single straight man on AFF...
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Whining about the woes of being a single straight man on AFF... OK, seriously? This online crap is every bit as bad (if not worse) than swimming the shark-infested waters of the meat markets. (yes, I know it's a mixed metaphor. bite me) PART 1. (The vast imbalance) Women (again) have the upper hand in a social environment. In a meat market, a woman really doesn't need to do more than be in clean, half-way decent clothes, have taken a shower in the relatively recent past, and be approachable. If she meets that criteria, she'll probably have more than her share of prospects approach her. On sites like Affairlook, it's much the same. Be half-way decent looking, with a half-way decent profile and pic, and you'll have a ton of messages. Granted, there's a definite quantity vs quality issue, but at least there's a quantity to deal with. For men, it's COMPLETELY different. In meat markets I've watched guys that are pretty obnoxious (jerks, rude, mean, conceited, etc) do well with women, while the unfortunate nice guy (others and yours truly) lose out to our much more aggressive or flamboyant competitors. On sites like Affairlook, I frequently see in profiles things like "don't want to see dick pics", "don't give me one-line messages", "if you make a date, keep it or break it properly", and I've heard of some nightmares out there. I've looked at some of the profiles of the single men out there. Many are good, and what I would consider as good as or better than my profile. Many, many more are... questionable or make me look like a much better option. As a youngster (up until my mid 20's) I was extremely shy when it came to talking to women. Even today, I'm able to talk to women, but when it comes to actually asking a woman for her number, etc, I have a very difficult time doing it. On this site, I may not have much "game" when it comes to messaging, but I've sent out my share of messages and RARELY get so much as a reply. This tells me that a) my messages suck, b) the person I'm sending it to is either inconsiderate or completely swamped; or c) I simply don't stack up to the jerks with "game". So, WTF? So my rhetorical question and<b> whine </font></b>is how many messages do I have to send before I get a nibble? PART 2. (Who wants a single man) Who wants a single straight man? Some women, and few couples. Who wants a straight woman? Pretty much all men, and most couples. If you happen to be a bi-woman, you can add the rest of the couples and many single women. If you're a bi-man, you can add a few couples and a few (I'm guessing) men. I've had some decent pics on my profile, and (as near as I can tell) my profile isn't bad. Though, I DO keep re-writing it.... Regardless, I'm fairly active--I usually long in at least once per day, and since I joined in late January (three months ago), I've received a grand total of four unsolicited messages. One strange auto-generated one on my first day from a bi/bi couple, one from a crazy couple from out of the country that REALLY wanted to be my friend, and two more from people that were nice enough, but just not really my type for one reason or another. Again, advantage: women. PART 3 (the big cock problem) Parting shot. This is more of a "to make matters worse" or "to add insult to injury" kind of thing. Of those looking for straight single men, there are a lot (easily more than a third) that specifically want only "hung" men or BBC. Now I understand the desire for something big to play with, but if I'm being honest, I don't consider myself to be "hung". Strictly speaking from the reading I've done, I'm pretty average or a little above average, but not what I'd define as "hung". So the pool I'm fishing in, once again, gets smaller. Yeesh. PART 4 (To be fair....) OK, to be fair, I understand a lot of what goes on, and I understand that (I'm guessing that 90%-95% of the messages women get are rejects of one type or another. But I'd like to point out that that's likely still a minimum of 4-5 decent prospects per month. I"m still waiting for my first unsolicited e-mail that is even remotely close to what I'm looking for. (broadest general requirements: modestly attractive, not too overweight, not more than 75 miles from me, not requiring me to be bi, or hung). I have found friends here. A very, VERY small number, but good people nonetheless. But holy shit, is it frustrating and discouraging to be a single straight man on Affairlook! |
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