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Swinger Rules and Etiquette  

WNCCuckoldcpl 50M/51F
451 posts
2/7/2017 12:36 pm
Swinger Rules and Etiquette


Yes, believe it or not, swingers have etiquette and rules. If you're going to play the game, it's always wise to familiarize yourself with some of the basics.

Hoping maybe others will contribute to this thread so I will start off with the most basic and important one...
No means no. If you approach someone in the lifestyle and they decline your offer, then that's it, drop it immediately and move on. Failure to take no for an answer is about the worst offense you can commit in the swinger scene.

Here's another one...
Don't kiss and tell. When you meet people, other swingers and you end up having fun with them, it is an unspoken but expected courtesy to keep that information to yourself. Nothing says sleazebag like running around telling other people about what you did with other swingers. Discretion and privacy are always expected.

Here's another...
Couples typically come as a package deal unless otherwise stated and well understood.
It's a huge no-no to meet another couple then approach one or the other party and try to get them alone. You will piss them off, and quickly loose any standing you have in the swinger community.

Would love to hear more from other swingers..

{=}


WNCCuckoldcpl 50M/51F

2/7/2017 12:46 pm

Another perhaps more obscure but no less important one....
Full disclosure of any health issues. In a normal relationship you have time to discover all the problems or medical issues a person might have. In a swinging situation, you have to get that stuff out in the open and on the table immediately so all involved can make an informed decision. Honest communication it always a huge deal, nobody likes surprises that end up in a case of the clap or a heart attack.

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spunkycumfun 63M/69F
41171 posts
2/7/2017 1:06 pm

Swinnging between couples is difficult as there are six relationships that have to be good before sex takes place! Two single people only have one relationship to deal with!


WNCCuckoldcpl 50M/51F

2/7/2017 1:09 pm

Every swinger has their own rules, limits, things they will or won't do. It is the responsibility of all involved to make those rules or preferences clear and to abide by them. Everyone needs to have a clear understanding of each other's rules. This is a huge deal, and fucking this one up can lead to a disaster.

{=}


WNCCuckoldcpl 50M/51F

2/7/2017 1:10 pm

    Quoting spunkycumfun:
    Swinnging between couples is difficult as there are six relationships that have to be good before sex takes place! Two single people only have one relationship to deal with!
That's a really good point as well, make sure your relationship is solid before getting involved with swinging. It's not a bandaid for a sexless marriage, and if you're relationship isn't on a solid foundation to begin with, swinging will destroy it.

{=}


MissCinders 58F
1533 posts
2/7/2017 1:20 pm

Many couples do think that by adding a few more people to the mix is going to make their relationship better and it will solve all their problems. I have a very good friend from here where this scenario did not work at all. It was a complete and total disaster. If people need another person to spice up the sex then you are better off breaking it off with the individual you are presently having sex with. Obviously, it isnt any good to begin with. Just my two cents. Thanks for sharing.


WNCCuckoldcpl 50M/51F

2/7/2017 1:51 pm

    Quoting MissCinders:
    Many couples do think that by adding a few more people to the mix is going to make their relationship better and it will solve all their problems. I have a very good friend from here where this scenario did not work at all. It was a complete and total disaster. If people need another person to spice up the sex then you are better off breaking it off with the individual you are presently having sex with. Obviously, it isnt any good to begin with. Just my two cents. Thanks for sharing.
Absolutely, and well said MissCinders! If you are looking to swinging as some kind of cure for relationship problems, then you are headed for a disaster. For couples in particular, swinging is a mutual experience, if you're doing it for any other reason than you BOTH want to, then it's going to fuck things up. There can be no jealousy, no lack of trust or communication, and everybody is enjoying their experience, it doesn't work any other way.
We've ran into a shitload of couples on here over the years where one of them was into it and the other wasn't. Invariably, and without exception, they are broke up within a year or less.

{=}


WNCCuckoldcpl 50M/51F

2/7/2017 1:59 pm

Here's another... at least for us...
Cheating and swinging are two vastly different activities. There are rare exceptions and some couples don't seem to mind, but for the most part, REAL swingers have a real dislike and disdain for cheaters. And rightfully so... Nobody wants to deal with an enraged spouse in their driveway wanting to pull hair or kick some body's ass. You are putting your other sexual partners in a potentially legal, if not lethal, situation. Keep your drama laden sophomoric scandals out of the swinger community, please. Cheaters fuck things up for real swingers.

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WNCCuckoldcpl 50M/51F

2/7/2017 2:08 pm

THis one might seem silly, but it needed said...

Respect the newbies.
We've all had that 'first time', and for the most of us, it was overwhelming, unnerving, awkward, even terrifying at first. The whole activity flies in the face of normal cultural values and traditions that have been pounded into our heads through childhood... it can be very disorienting and foreign at first.

For meeting or playing with a first time swinger couple, it's up to the more experienced among us to be keenly aware of this. The worst thing you can do is be pushy or impatient. Respect their pace and remember you were once a noob and they deserve a positive first experience if you are able to provide it.

{=}


WNCCuckoldcpl 50M/51F

2/7/2017 2:13 pm

Another...
Respect the personal lives of swingers. Most experienced swingers eventually find a balance between their swinging life and their personal life, but it is an unspoken rule that you do not interfere with these people's life outside of their swinging. Most of us tend to try to insulate our personal life from the people we swing with.
Some couples prefer a friends first approach, some want to show up at the motel and get naked right away, but nobody wants a single male showing up at their job, endless calls or texts, or unexpected visits from people at their home.

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WNCCuckoldcpl 50M/51F

2/7/2017 2:54 pm

Here's another one my wife wanted to mention...
Sober up a little, and for Christ's sake take a shower. Nothing is more abysmal in the swinger scene than the stumbling pushy drunk, the tweaking methhead, or the guy who smells like he lost a pickled egg fight. What is normal to you can be really offensive or atrocious to someone who doesn't know you well, and nothing kills the mood like stench. Hygiene is always expected among swingers, should go without saying but you would be surprised.

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