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Why do we always seem to label our kinks?  

AnotherShmoe 46M
19 posts
1/24/2013 3:53 pm
Why do we always seem to label our kinks?


As I think I mentioned earlier, 5 or 6 years ago I kept a fairly active blog over at Alt.com Being that it was an alternative sort of site, a lot of my writing was geared towards kink and fetish. I can't really deny it, at the end of the day I'm a kinkster at heart.

The biggest issue that I have with the 'alternative' world of sexuality is the fact that everything has to be put in a little box which has this insidious way of defining who we are. Top/bottom, straight/bi/gay, Domme/sub, receiver/giver, Vanilla/kinky, sadist/masochist, etc etc etc. And of course everything you can possibly do in the bedroom, the dungeon, the car, the club, or wherever else you can place yourself has a name attached to it. Foot fetish, furry fetish, leather man, rubber woman, and on and on... Even the swingers do it. Soft swap, same room, full swap, my head is spinning.

For me, I want to put an end to this all. You know what I am??? I am sexual. That's it, simple and to the point. I am sexual. That might mean one thing tonight and another thing this weekend. It might mean that I try one thing once and another thing over and over again. It might mean that some things are fun, some are uncomfortable, and others make me laugh. But most importantly it gives me freedom.

It gives me the opportunity to explore. It allows me to experience. I get to experiment with myself and maybe someone else too!

It makes me alive.

Let go of the labels. Let go of the conventions. Let go of the things that hold you back from squeezing what you can out of life.

That's what kink is to me...

wannabesexpot 50F
4475 posts
1/24/2013 4:52 pm

I would assume that labels were imposed onto everything due to the extreme nature of the alt world and therefore I would prefer the labels. People there are mainly looking for certain types so that they can also assume their own roles. This could lead to a whole lot of trouble should people not be aware of what is expected of them and worse, if they aren't prepared... If you like everything in between.... well.. explain it!

Wannabe/Sexpot - which one do you want me to be?


AnotherShmoe replies on 1/25/2013 7:39 am:
Thanks for the comment Wannabe... I do realise that you're absolutely correct. We use these labels as a way of putting our wants and desires and needs out there for the world to see. I guess without them, it would be a bit like taking away all the traffic lights and stop signs off the roads. Things would get chaotic pretty fast.

When I started writing that post, I wanted to try and give an overview of who I was in a 'kink/alt' sense. But, the post quickly sidetracked away from that when I realised I didn't really want to pin myself down!

Thanks for reading and commenting though!

Naughtypeople1 56M/55F

7/31/2015 7:08 am

Alleluia! I am a sexual person. I like to make my decisions as I go really. Try what I want when I want. I like to be with others who feel the same way. I don't like getting caught up in the red tape of "I do this and I won't do that". Too many rules and restrictions make me uncomfortable and tense. Life should be explored and embraced.
Respect and rights should be observed at all times though. People should always feel comfortable in saying "Hey, this isn't working for me."
But that is just my female opinion.


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