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| Blogs > SpaceRangerNJ > Nonsensical ravings |
The saga is almost over!
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The saga is almost over! Greetings and salutations AFFers. Yes, it has been a long time. I felt I owed it to Ya'll to bring you up to date. The two year mark since asking for divorce has come and gone ( July, 2008 ). Our 14th Anniversary came and went ( June, 2008 ). Who would have thought? So what has happened? The mediator we choose, who looked very promising out of the gate, fell down on the job. We decided to finish the agreement up with our lawyers. Everyone sat down in a room and a few hours later the issues had been discussed and a draft agreement was ready to be committed to writing. The draft has had two revisions and is awaiting her signature. I will sign next. The divorce itself will happen some time in the future. Holding off for medical benefits reasons. A common practice I am told. The agreement however, a legally enforceable document, give us permission to live our lives as if not married. Regarding the house. I was able to do some creative financing and keep the house. They, including the and cat, have moved out. I have the place to myself other than all the stuff they left behind and are slowly moving. I feel quite taken advantage of since I did say they didn't have to do it all in one day and could finish up on the weekend. They barely did anything the first day it is still an ongoing process. They have their new place and can start fresh. I have to deal with their mess and put things on hold for setting the place up to my liking. But I really haven't had time to do much so I am not raising a fuss yet. As soon as the agreement is signed and foresee free time I will push the issue if things are not well in hand by then. No sense getting too worked up over it and adding stress to their lives if I can't do anything right now anyway. All part of my keeping things in perspective plan. lol. So there has been lots of stress and drama getting to this point. Especially in the process of getting the house ready for sale. We did have it on the market before I saw my way clear to buy her out. I know she is not happy with what I had to do to move things along but I felt there was no option; we would still be getting the house ready if I didn't. She seemed emotionally paralyzed and unable to move forward in many ways. It was my last act of love (caring) to do what I had to do to get us to this point. I'll take the hit of her being upset. I did however try to do things in the nicest, kindest way possible, without anger, without malice, without spite, etc. The is pissed off at me for what I don't know. Typical and part and parcel of the marital problems. Both would never communicate when something was wrong despite me asking. I continue to try to ask how things are going and how they are doing yet still get the same very generic responses and only an acknowledgement that something is wrong but not being told what it is. In this process of divorce I attemted to keep the communication going. Communication was a problem in the marriage. In a divorce I saw it as even more important if things were to go smoothly. I knew I needed to grow in that area so I gave it my best effort to communicate where I had failed in marriage. As they say, you can only control yourself. And communication is a two way thing... So I will soon be able to say those wonderful words "would you like to come back to my place?" I will soon be legally able to fuck with reckless abandon! (taking volunteers). Having folks over and entertaining will be possible. Yeah! We hardly entertained. Only on holidays. We really didn't have adult friends that we did things with either in home or out (part of the marital problems). I have expanded my social network in the past few years and would love to invite all my friend over for a Divorce party! For quite a while I planned what I termed my "Freedom Tour 2008" It was a 10 day driving vacation in August. I fully expected this to be all over by then; agreement would be signed and I would be on my own. I missed by a couple of months but at least the agreement draft was written. So the hard part was over at the time I went on my trip. I met 4 on-line friends along the way. Missed out on meeting a fifth. Saw friends and relatives. Had a blast. I have mentioned before the growth it took to get to the point of asking for the divorce. There was even greater growth in the process of getting the divorce. The me of today is a much new and improved me. I really don't think I was ready for marriage intially and probably not in love. I understand that now. I would not trade the years because they got me to this point. I am happier than I have been for most of my life and looking forward to my future. My next relationship will be soooooo much better. There is more growth to come as I live alone for the first time in my life. And more growth as I have my next significant other an a much more healthy relationship. So that's what's up with me. What's up with you?  |
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Wow you got hurt pretty bad. I broke both bones in my leg just above my ankle when I was in 8th grade; guess that is tib and fib like you but regular breaks, not spiral. I didn't have to have pins or anything. Lucky I guess. I will try to keep relations going with the kid. It must be a tough time for her. And at her age she will be pulling away from her parents anyway. So it might take a while. I have been trying to keep a level head and the right perspective and attitude. For a number of reasons, one of which is to show a good example to the kid. Actions speak louder than words. She might not understand until much later why I did what I did. How I felt backed into a corner on some things. Yes, text sex. Ever try that one? Although with you already doing the cam thing that would be a step backwards. For me it was the only option with the women I was communicating with. Were you nervous the first time you cammed? Oh, and is the simbian the best ever? I have seen it on web sites and all the women seem to go crazy. Very kewl that you have one. You seen our friend in MD lately? Cheers, SR
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That was nice. Both times were a blast. I will tell him hello for you. I understand Jazz made it to Hunystock. Saw some pics. Haven't seen her in a while. Saw Goddess a few months back when she was traveling through. Now if I can only catch you home when I call! lol. Cheers, SR
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