0 posts 1/24/2013 2:04 pm
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Kinkiness, Innocence and Experience
A strange thought occurred to me as I was laying in bed last night unable to fall asleep...
Intellectual Inquiry of the Day: Can a person be kinky but still innocent? Can they have a great deal of experience but still be innocent? Can they have a great deal of experiences related to their kinkiness and still be innocent?
...As I lay in bed I kept thinking about a comment that I had responded to in one of my blogs. In the response I told the person that Wifey and I are very kinky but we have had very few sex partners between the two of us. For some reason that struck me as odd. It made us sound so... innocent. I don't intend to get into too many details here other than to say that Wifey and I have done plenty of things- usually far more than once- that would seriously distress your average pervert. Wifey only SEEMS like the perfect angel, and well, lets just say that my limits are few and far between! I definitely don't FEEL innocent. Between the kink and the huge amount of stuff that Wifey and I have done over the years is it even possible to BE innocent anymore? We are two of the nicest people that you will ever meet, we tend to see the best in others, we aren't jaded and we haven't had sex with a lot of different people does THAT make us innocent? Or does the kink cancel everything out?
Are YOU innocent?
As always, any comments or thoughts on the matter would be greatly appreciated! If you don't have time or can't think of anything to say please just leave me a smiley face on the way out to let me know you were here! I would appreciate that too! Thanks!
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38 posts 1/29/2013 9:29 pm |
I am innocent right now, but I'm on this site to lose that innocense 
homehubby replies on 1/30/2013 9:21 am:
Hi FM.
I wish you the best of luck!
Thanks for stopping by! |
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4619 posts 1/27/2013 9:13 pm |
After months of finding out what a kinky mind I have, I asked him why he found me interesting and even attractive, and he told me that my innocence was appealing. he didn't even pause before he replied. it's like he knew I was going to ask that question and had the answer ready.
So... I pondered my innocence. Why did he say that? He knew all my secrets and still, the first word he picked to describe me, is innocent?
So, yeah, you can definitely be a total freak and totally innocent. lol =) i think, not allowing the negativity around you to touch you, is what preserves the innocence. But, i don't see how that works with me, because I allowed all kinds of negativity to affect me, and if there wasn't any around me, i made my own share of negativity.
Being able to trust, having an open mind in accepting others as they are and as they choose to present themselves to me, refusing to pass judgment on others or even myself, not holding on to things and brooding over them, forgiving and letting go so i can be free to smile and enjoy my life... that's all new to me... which i think is all a part of 'innocence' - a simple, uncomplicated, childlike outlook on life.
I had to be accepted as a real person first, in order to be able to turn around and accept others. I needed someone to be a friend to me first, so i could learn how to be a good one too. Some people jsut know all this stuff without help, but I need a lot of help.
btw - i love all the questions you come up with!
"Do not put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket"
--Author Unknown
homehubby replies on 1/29/2013 12:44 pm:
 Violette!
It has been too long since I last chatted with you! It is wonderful to have you here! 
I am not at all surprised that he said "Innocence." Why? Why would I say that about one of the deepest and most complicated people I know?
Because you bring up yet another aspect to this whole interesting conundrum that I have unearthed: You KNOW that you don't know everything that there is to know about yourself and you admit it not necessarily to the outside world but to yourself. Then you perpetually strive to find that spirit within you and you question yourself and the world in relation to your spirit. Very much like a child trying to find their place in the world. If that isn't innocence than I don't know what is!
Your journey is a fascinating one Violette and I am sure that it will continue to be for a long time! I think that you started life as an old person with the burdens and weight normally associated with them and are now getting younger and freer and lighter every day through your own self discovery! What an amazing difference that would make in the world if everybody could do that same thing!
Thanks for stopping by! You know you are always welcome here! |
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10698 posts 1/27/2013 7:36 am |
I think hubby and myself are very similar to you guys. Hubby has never been with another woman but me and I have also hardly had partners, yet we are very open, talk about anything and have tried a few things in bed.  We are curious about experimenting with other couples and there are probably a few sexual deviances that will let out hair stand up straight, yet I think we are fairly kinky.
Are we innocent? I do believe so - also as said before, because of trust (in each other and others). Or would one just call it naive?
Something interesting in my life: A surprise on my naked body this morningCome visit my blog to know what I get up to from time to time: [blog 4jasmine2]
homehubby replies on 1/29/2013 12:16 pm:
Hi Jasmine!
Interesting situation isn't it? I am not really sure what to think after reading all of these wonderful comments! So many ways of looking at it. What is innocence? Is it naivete'? Refusal to abandon hope and trust in your fellow human beings? Is innocence even connected to sex and kink at all?
I honestly don't know. I just know that thinking about it seems to open one's mind to possibilities and insights and maybe serves as a reminder to appreciate what we have and what we don't want to lose.
Thank you Jasmine for sharing your thoughts with me! You are always welcome to visit my blog and hang out!
p.s. I responded to you in my private blog as well! |
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20895 posts 1/26/2013 2:46 am |
Guess even sexually we have to 'grow'? Discover new, more ..... So long as we enjoy it - keep it exciting?! Hopefully we'll always be a bit "innocent" cos would mean we still have stacks to learn and find out?! 
..... And always 'hold onto all those sexy thoughts'! (Remember if you feel like taking part in some sexy fun then click here!) Come on Some Sketch FunAnd Now How About 39Me39 Watching 39You39 If you39d like that Please Comment - So if you would like - click here as well!
homehubby replies on 1/29/2013 12:06 pm:
Hi Becca! And welcome to my blog!
I like your thought on being innocent because we still have a lot to learn! Very insightful! Thank you so much for leaving me a thoughtful comment! I really appreciate it!
And please feel free to come back any time! You are always welcome here! |
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2306 posts 1/25/2013 7:05 am |
You sure do a lot of pondering in bed. LOL.
Yes, I don't think you have to be experienced to be "kinky." I was married to a man for 20+ years and was completely monogamous in my lack of sex marriage. However, I had the imagination and fantasies of an 18 year old. My outlet was writing. I actually started writing erotica because my husband wasn't interested in anything but three positions and never anything beyond that. I have an exhibitionist side to me that needed an outlet and the only thing I had the guts to do was write. I had more ideas and desires in my head than could ever be realized in real life, but I'm finally trying to see those fulfilled.
So IMHO, kink level shouldn't depend on opportunity because heaven knows we don't all get the chance to live out those fantasies. I say it should be determined by desire and imagination if you don't have the opportunity to live out those fantasies.
Hmmmm, I wonder if I can comment like you've recently found out you can do. *runs off to my own blog*
Keeping it Classy: PinUpGirl916
And Nekkid...
Classy and Nekkid
homehubby replies on 1/25/2013 2:27 pm:
Hi Pinup!
Lol! Yes! I DO think way too much and it keeps me up all night long sometimes! People often look at me with exasperation and say "don't you EVER stop thinking?!?" 
I would completely agree with you about not needing experience to be kinky. Not only for all the reasons that you stated, but also because you can get pretty darn freaky all on your own if you want to... 
But if you are getting all kinky whether it is in the real world or in your own mind, can you still be innocent?
Thanks for stopping by Pinup! I always love to hear what you have to say! Maybe Wifey and I can help fulfill some of those ideas of yours! |
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4475 posts 1/25/2013 4:48 am |
sorry luv.. but no you ain't innocent!! A person who is innocent is a virgin. Whether you have had sex with one 10 or 50.. you still have had sex. Even a virgin who has been would be deemed as having been stripped of thier innocence..
A lack of partners just means you are picky!!
As to how kinky you are.. frankly it's all relative to the person and their culture.. I know people out here who think that doing doggie is kinky..
Wannabe/Sexpot - which one do you want me to be?
homehubby replies on 1/25/2013 3:06 pm:
Wannabe!!!!
You say "you ain't no innocent!! " like you somehow discovered what all of my kinks are!  Have you been hiding in my closet again sexpot??? Maybe just takin' a lil peeksie when the bed starts squeakin??? C'mon now... You would tell me right??? 
You are correct about that particular definition of innocent, I certainly am WAY past being THAT kind of innocent! But that wasn't quite the definition that I was alluding to in my question. The innocent that I was referring to is more of the naive, non-jaded way of seeing the world kind of innocence.
And yes, when it comes to partners I am VERY picky.
I agree that kink is relative. In general anything that you wouldn't try is kinky, but anything that you have tried (or would at least admit to trying) is not.
I think doggie is considered very kinky in most cultures! Oops! Wait. Scratch that. You were referring to the sexual position... 
Ahem... yes... well... Assuming I am not immediately banned from the site let's move on shall we?
As always Wannabe, it is great to see you here and I always love your comments! Come back anytime! |
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