Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
If the email is registered with our site, you will receive an email with instructions to reset your password. Password reset link sent to:
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service

My Inner Voice is SHOUTING at me- make it stop!  

MyInnerVoice 67F  
1204 posts
10/1/2013 12:25 am
My Inner Voice is SHOUTING at me- make it stop!


My inner voice has been shouting at me which is why my blog and I have been on the quiet side. I am so angry. Mostly at myself for not being able to deal with things better than I am. I really struggled with the decision as to whether I should write this post, or not.

My friends know that I have been dealing with an illness for the past two years. To make a long story short -- multiple knee replacements, multiple infections, so much physical therapy and so much pain. My body is just not cooperating and has not healed the way it should. This has left me with chronic pain and the depression that goes with it.

The past six weeks or so have been especially difficult for me. It feels as though I take three steps forward and then nine steps backward.
Needless to say, I am discouraged. I am so tired. I don't know how much fight I have left inside.

Which leads me to why I am writing this (I know, sounds like a pity party and in a way, it is). I wanted to share what this experience has taught me.

It has taught me that:

1. I am stronger than I ever realized.
2. I know my body better than the doctors do.
3. How much I love and appreciate my family and my friends.
4. How a person's life is changed by the presence of constant and chronic pain.
5. How a disability affects a person
6. How to use alternative methods to deal with pain
7. How lonely it is to be isolated and not working
8. and...God must not have Heaven quite ready for me yet (smiles)
9. (oh, a sense of humor is invaluable)

I can list positives and negatives for each of the above numbered items (and I am sure there are many that I missed).

I am a fighter.....I am not giving up. I will dig deep within myself to find the reserve I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other (figuratively and literally) lol.

There is a reason why I am still here ~~ it just hasn't been revealed to me yet. Which is another reason for my quietness...I have been meditating and praying....and listening for a reply - looking for a sign.

Thanks for listening (reading) and for caring!

hugs and kisses,
Voice

bluewolf-BD 69M
39 posts
12/5/2013 9:19 pm

    Quoting MyInnerVoice:
    _King_Cobb, Thank you for visiting my blog - it is nice to meet you. I believe doctors are human and that they know a lot but it is my experience that they don't LISTEN to their patients. Maybe it is an ego problem, thinking because they are doctors that they know more and they know best. I truly believe we all know our own bodies better than any doctor does.
You are right that we know our bodies the best. For me sometimes to it is very hard say no to a Dr. or PT therapist.


a joke about doctors

1st told to me by someone working with doctors

What is the difference between God & an orthopedic surgeon?

God knows he/she is not an orthopedic surgeon


MyInnerVoice 67F  
1063 posts
10/4/2013 7:14 pm

    Quoting RipItRockItSpoil:
    Voice you are an inspiration to me! I honestly dont know HOW you do it! I Pride myself on being tough.....& i just dont know if I would still be able to do what youve already done!

    HUgssssss my dear friend!
Rock, Hugging you....thank you for your kind words. Not sure that I deserve to be anyone's inspiration though.....


MyInnerVoice 67F  
1063 posts
10/4/2013 7:10 pm

    Quoting submokey:
    All good thoughts n steps in the right direction, dear friend!
    When life throws you a curve at you, do your best to deal with head on! Otherwise, you'll will have lost the battle!
mokey, Smiling, I stepped in front of the ball and it hit me on the head...but am thinking I must have mis-read your advice. Hugs!


submokey 69M/62F
10383 posts
10/1/2013 11:54 pm

All good thoughts n steps in the right direction, dear friend!
When life throws you a curve at you, do your best to deal with head on! Otherwise, you'll will have lost the battle!


Romance her heart, tease her body, enjoy the company shared in bed n out! Treasure every moment spent together, in good times n bad!
Cum visit my blog, you're always welcum! submokey Become a watcher!
THINK PINK!


MyInnerVoice 67F  
1063 posts
10/1/2013 8:19 pm

    Quoting Tantricorgasms3:
    You don't know how much I identify with your list! I have dealt with chronic pain for over fifteen years. During that time, I had one near death experience on the operating table. That's why I'm writing a book about spiritual healing.

    As someone once said to me, "How do you know if your mission on Earth is done? If you're still here, it isn't!" We must still have something to do.
Tantric, Thank you for sharing with me (with us). I am very interested in reading your book when you are done with it. I also am interested in alternative healing methods. It is a shame that most insurances today still do not cover acupuncture, massage, aromatherapy and some still do not cover chiropractic. I know that these are all beneficial treatments. Faith is also very beneficial. I know longer pray for God to take my pain away - I pray for him to help me find ways to deal with it, to accept it and to still have a productive life. Hugs!


MyInnerVoice 67F  
1063 posts
10/1/2013 8:15 pm

    Quoting  :

Mercenaria, Yes, sweetie...I know my friends are here for me - both old and new and I appreciate that more than I can ever possibly convey to them. Thank you for being one of those friends! hugs,


MyInnerVoice 67F  
1063 posts
10/1/2013 10:37 am

    Quoting sweet_VM:
    Voice you friends will always be here for you anytime any day and if you don't post don't worry about it. Post when you feel you want to share something. I know you been through so much these past two years and we are just happy to have you back onto the site again. Hugs my dear friend.. We are with you! hugs V


V, I know that you are always here for me - you have been over and over. You are such a dear friend to me. Hugs and kisses!


MyInnerVoice 67F  
1063 posts
10/1/2013 10:29 am

    Quoting  :

IKan, Thank you so much for sharing your story with me and for the kind and encouraging words. I have never thought of myself as a frog but now I will....lol. Hugs


MyInnerVoice 67F  
1063 posts
10/1/2013 10:28 am

    Quoting  :

Kalbi, Thanks for your encouraging words. Eventhough I may have wanted to give up at times, it is not in my nature. I am still fighting...I am still trying and I am still alive, smiles! Hugs.


MyInnerVoice 67F  
1063 posts
10/1/2013 10:25 am

    Quoting veryfunnycple64:
    You are the power! Lean on me and all of your other friends! Keep trying and Keep your head up! See ya, VF
funny, I do lean on you and my other friends and I am so very fortunate to have all of you. Thank you for being my friend and for helping me. Hugs.


MyInnerVoice 67F  
1063 posts
10/1/2013 10:23 am

    Quoting _King_Cobb_:
    Doctors don't usually know SQUAT!!!! They just think they do because they had too much education.
_King_Cobb, Thank you for visiting my blog - it is nice to meet you. I believe doctors are human and that they know a lot but it is my experience that they don't LISTEN to their patients. Maybe it is an ego problem, thinking because they are doctors that they know more and they know best. I truly believe we all know our own bodies better than any doctor does.


MyInnerVoice 67F  
1063 posts
10/1/2013 10:20 am

Apollo, Thank you for your kind words. Hugs!


sweet_VM 65F
81699 posts
10/1/2013 9:52 am

Voice you friends will always be here for you anytime any day and if you don't post don't worry about it. Post when you feel you want to share something. I know you been through so much these past two years and we are just happy to have you back onto the site again. Hugs my dear friend.. We are with you! hugs V



Become a blog watcher sweet_vm


veryfunnycple64 60M/60F
21770 posts
10/1/2013 5:21 am

You are the power! Lean on me and all of your other friends! Keep trying and Keep your head up! See ya, VF

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

Come and read my blog! Become a watcher!


veryfunnycple64


_King_Cobb_ 61M
25441 posts
10/1/2013 1:27 am

Doctors don't usually know SQUAT!!!! They just think they do because they had too much education.


insert exploding bomb image here


Become a member to create a blog