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| Blogs > MyInnerVoice > Listening to My Inner Voice |
My Inner Voice is SHOUTING at me- make it stop!
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My Inner Voice is SHOUTING at me- make it stop! My inner voice has been shouting at me which is why my blog and I have been on the quiet side. I am so angry. Mostly at myself for not being able to deal with things better than I am. I really struggled with the decision as to whether I should write this post, or not. My friends know that I have been dealing with an illness for the past two years. To make a long story short -- multiple knee replacements, multiple infections, so much physical therapy and so much pain. My body is just not cooperating and has not healed the way it should. This has left me with chronic pain and the depression that goes with it. The past six weeks or so have been especially difficult for me. It feels as though I take three steps forward and then nine steps backward. Needless to say, I am discouraged. I am so tired. I don't know how much fight I have left inside. Which leads me to why I am writing this (I know, sounds like a pity party and in a way, it is). I wanted to share what this experience has taught me. It has taught me that: 1. I am stronger than I ever realized. 2. I know my body better than the doctors do. 3. How much I love and appreciate my family and my friends. 4. How a person's life is changed by the presence of constant and chronic pain. 5. How a disability affects a person 6. How to use alternative methods to deal with pain 7. How lonely it is to be isolated and not working 8. and...God must not have Heaven quite ready for me yet (smiles) 9. (oh, a sense of humor is invaluable) I can list positives and negatives for each of the above numbered items (and I am sure there are many that I missed). I am a fighter.....I am not giving up. I will dig deep within myself to find the reserve I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other (figuratively and literally) lol. There is a reason why I am still here ~~ it just hasn't been revealed to me yet. Which is another reason for my quietness...I have been meditating and praying....and listening for a reply - looking for a sign. Thanks for listening (reading) and for caring! hugs and kisses, Voice |
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_King_Cobb, Thank you for visiting my blog - it is nice to meet you. I believe doctors are human and that they know a lot but it is my experience that they don't LISTEN to their patients. Maybe it is an ego problem, thinking because they are doctors that they know more and they know best. I truly believe we all know our own bodies better than any doctor does. a joke about doctors 1st told to me by someone working with doctors What is the difference between God & an orthopedic surgeon? God knows he/she is not an orthopedic surgeon
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Voice you are an inspiration to me! I honestly dont know HOW you do it! I Pride myself on being tough.....& i just dont know if I would still be able to do what youve already done! HUgssssss my dear friend!
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All good thoughts n steps in the right direction, dear friend! When life throws you a curve at you, do your best to deal with head on! Otherwise, you'll will have lost the battle!
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All good thoughts n steps in the right direction, dear friend! When life throws you a curve at you, do your best to deal with head on! Otherwise, you'll will have lost the battle! Romance her heart, tease her body, enjoy the company shared in bed n out! Treasure every moment spent together, in good times n bad! Cum visit my blog, you're always welcum!  submokey Become a watcher! THINK PINK!
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You don't know how much I identify with your list! I have dealt with chronic pain for over fifteen years. During that time, I had one near death experience on the operating table. That's why I'm writing a book about spiritual healing. As someone once said to me, "How do you know if your mission on Earth is done? If you're still here, it isn't!" We must still have something to do.
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Mercenaria, Yes, sweetie...I know my friends are here for me - both old and new and I appreciate that more than I can ever possibly convey to them. Thank you for being one of those friends! hugs,
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Voice you friends will always be here for you anytime any day and if you don't post don't worry about it. Post when you feel you want to share something. I know you been through so much these past two years and we are just happy to have you back onto the site again. Hugs my dear friend.. We are with you! hugs V 
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IKan, Thank you so much for sharing your story with me and for the kind and encouraging words. I have never thought of myself as a frog but now I will....lol. Hugs
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Kalbi, Thanks for your encouraging words. Eventhough I may have wanted to give up at times, it is not in my nature. I am still fighting...I am still trying and I am still alive, smiles! Hugs.
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You are the power! Lean on me and all of your other friends! Keep trying and Keep your head up! See ya, VF
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Doctors don't usually know SQUAT!!!! They just think they do because they had too much education. 
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Your my inspiration!  {=}
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Voice you friends will always be here for you anytime any day and if you don't post don't worry about it. Post when you feel you want to share something. I know you been through so much these past two years and we are just happy to have you back onto the site again. Hugs my dear friend.. We are with you! hugs V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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You are the power! Lean on me and all of your other friends! Keep trying and Keep your head up! See ya, VF “Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh Come and read my blog! Become a watcher! veryfunnycple64 
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Doctors don't usually know SQUAT!!!! They just think they do because they had too much education. insert exploding bomb image here
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