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| Blogs > OneStrangeBeast > The Beast Burrow |
He's a Douche Edition
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He's a Douche Edition I thought I would waste a few moments of my life today by writing something completely fantasy based, without merit, and definitely of a juvenile nature. ... I have a few minutes to spare after all, and nothing important going on in my life. _______________________________________ There's a man who is most dominant, Whose aura and air is less flatulent, Than the rest of us losers could hope for. He seeks out women reality based, To engage in sexual escapades, Lacking in fantasy since he's a bore. While the man is certainly striking, Besting even me as a descended viking, Something about him smells strongly of douche. I'm sure it's me who must be mistaken, For his odor must surely awaken, Primal lust in women with couth. Perhaps it is I who should recognize, What most women probably prize, When faced with such a dominant man. I should definitely take heed, Observe a masterful steed, And strive to mimic him as best I can. What seems to be holding me back, Is what I consider a lack, Of douche free air for me to breathe. Perhaps if I hold my nose, I'll be better prepared and on my toes, And his wisdom I can finally receive. I should be as happy as a clam, To learn even a portion which this man, Could teach us all in matters of sex. If it weren't for the smell, Of rancid douche pouring forth from Hell, I would likely not be such a wreck. Maybe I should simply pinch my nose, More than worth it to learn his pose, Since my head is clearly too straight. If you approach a woman sideways, Her loins will simply be set ablaze, And she will no longer seek to masturbate. I can't wait to practice what he's taught, I'm confidant my time was not for naught, His teachings are sure to produce. All it took was my complete attention, My total compliance to his invention, And the ability to ignore tons of douche. |
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If it doesn't rhyme for you, you're now saying it correctly. You're not putting the right em-pha-sis on the proper syll-able. 
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Don't worry. I didn't actually write this out of any true desire to mimic anybody.
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You're probably correct. I have lousy aim sometimes.
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