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Huchi Rules! Edition
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Huchi Rules! Edition Today my minions, I'm going to briefly cover a subject near and dear to my heart, which is cunnilingus! The first order of business is to state that apparently words of a sexual nature aren't recognized by my phone, because it's telling me I've spelled cunnilingus incorrectly. There it goes again. Stupid smart phone! What do you know about the subject? There are many different ways to say cunnilingus which don't sound nearly so clinical. We have the standard "Eating Pussy", the humorous "Dining at the Y", and the crude "Munching a Fur Burger". That later one is a misnomer nowadays, what with so many women keeping the Moss Covered Axe Wound free of moss. We also have "Eating Out", "French Art", "Muff Diving", "Cunt Lapping" (not preferred by the ladies), "Trenching", "Drinking From the Furry Cup", "Having a Box Lunch", "Eating Some Clams", "Eating a Peach", "Carpet Munching", "Eating a Fur Pie", "Eating a Hair Pie", "Snorkeling at Pussy Beach", "Prying the Head off A Pez Dispenser", "Snorkeling For a Pearl" (Yes... I made those last 3 up as I went I think), "Tipping the Velvet", and "Gamahuching". You guessed it. My phone definitely doesn't recognize gamahuching. Speaking of gamahuching... An anagram for that is Huchi Gag Man.  which begs a whole new slang phrase for eating pussy! "Snacking on Huchi".  There are nearly as many ways to say you're going to stimulate a vagina with your mouth as there are articles written, purportedly explaining the best techniques to use while performing the act. I ignore all of those articles because they were all written, more than likely, by a single author, and who knows if what they enjoy will be enjoyed by all. I thoroughly enjoy using my mouth to sexually stimulate a woman, and I've found that different women respond best to a variety of techniques. No one vagina can be approached in exactly the same manner. Some vaginae (stupid smart phone doesn't like any of the plural forms) can be directly assaulted with little finesse involved. Other vaginae must be handled delicately, and while using a precise rhythm and pace in order to achieve the breaking of the dam, so to speak. My preferred method for handling the job, is an aggressive, no-nonsense frontal assault. Unless my partner seems perturbed by it, my technique is similar to that of a lamprey which seeks to latch itself to the underside of a shark. Clitoris... Meet Beast... The Human-Lamprey Hybrid. Don't get me wrong. The Beast can spend a little time coaxing you into the mood by licking and suckling on your lips, diving his tongue deep into your creamy center, and kissing your thighs. Make no mistake though, I'm eventually going straight for the clit and fastening on like a tick to a Boy Scout's armpit. Once I've created a vacuum with my lips around your hood and clitoris, my tongue is going to go to serious work on your clit and nothing is prying me off until one of three things happens. You're either going to cum (maybe multiple times), I'm going to get lock-jaw and be forced to forfeit (came close once, but finally got the "O"), or as a dear minion threatened, you'll be forced to brain me with a cast iron skillet. Don't ask me why a woman would keep a cast iron skillet next to her bed, but apparently it's not unheard of in certain households. The only reason I can think of that a woman would desire me to stop is that she becomes too sensitive after her orgasm, and can't handle the intense feeling of any continued stimulus to her Pez Dispenser. I can respect that. Get the Pez, and get out! I'm the same way after a woman performs an especially effective oral attack on Little Beast as well. For a short period, I feel so sensitive that any continued stimulation feels almost like I'm going to die, and then I cry just a little bit. (It's very manly crying... Shut yer holes!) BEAST OUT Bonus Material! This post gives me a great idea. If any of my female minions would be interested in wearing an official- The Beast Burrow- HUCHI RULES! FEAR THIS- T-shirt -let me know and I'll make one in your size and send it to you. Let all of the men out there know the pussy is nothing to trifle with! All I would need to do is draw up a nice design, snag some inkjet T-shirt transfers, and I'm in production. |
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Mouthification. Good term. Have you TM'd it yet??
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cant say as i would disagree with the techniques mentioned.
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cant say as i would disagree with the techniques mentioned.
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Well send me what size and color you would like and I'll make sure you get 1 lady.
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It's actually pretty time saving this way. I write an email to myself throughout the day while I'm oh so busy doing not much at work. I then mail it to myself, snap a picture of whatever I doodle and mail it as well. By the time I get home, all I have to do is plug everything in here and submit it.
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Cast iron skillet huh? LOL I could explain it to you sometime if you'd like...though I'm pretty sure I'd never hit you over the head with it were your lips attached to such a sweet sensitive spot. Mmmm...you get "sensitive" after a big roar? Really? I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
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