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Unwanted and Unsolicited Advice
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Unwanted and Unsolicited Advice Unwanted and Unsolicited Advice *** Anyone offended, upset or slighted by this blog are advised that the author could care less and for those who feel the need to correct him are welcome to kiss his ass*** Okay folks, the old boy is in the mood for a piss off the world and annoy anyone who reads my blogs, blog. Being the smartass know-it-all I think I am, and having been on this site for long enough to have a good feel for what happens here and the people behind those monitors, I thought I would, being the kind, generous soul I am, offer my advice to everyone....whether they wanted it or not. I will add the caveat that any opinions or advice I am offering is not for those married couples here.....I am not a part of the swinger community nor wish to be, and while I have met some great folks that are, I am limiting my comments to those of us who use the site for other than swinging purposes. For Both Genders Profile Photos (Part 1)...yeah yeah yeah, I have heard all the defensive crap, I don’t want my partner to find out, or my , or my co-workers, or my priest......listen up folks, all those people have their own issues, and are spending their time online pursuing them, and trust me, the idea of seeing you nekked, other than a curiosity issue, is NO BIG DEAL. And since I opened the door, put a damn face pic up. Seriously. If your husband/wife, isn’t smart enough to figure out what you are doing spending 7 hours in the basement (and don’t yourself, they know something’s up no matter how good you try and hide it) and cant Google how to check your history, then the likely hood they are going to find your smiling mug on a sex/dating/swinging site is slim to none. Yet....on the same note, I doubt anyone can argue that a profile with a face pic will always get more attention....and interest....no matter how big, mean, bald or ugly you are (trust me). Profile Photos(Part 2)...Individual photos....now we all know how excited folks get when they first join the site and see boobies and dicks galore....woo fucking hoo....but it gets lame fast (see Part 1). Another thing that you have to know, close up photos of individual body parts can be extremely deceiving...there is the incredibly sexy close up of the pink hard nipple which ends up being attached to a 63year old 240 lb lot bunny with a mustache in Kansas, or the long rock hard dick just waiting for you that ends up attached to the 84lb crack addict in Saskatoon. After face pics, the most important photo, is the full body, head to toe, this is me good and bad photo. Now I may sound harsh, but the fact is, whether you are big or small, tall or short, fat or skinny, if you take the time to throw on something nice and clean up a bit, there are members of the other sex who will find you sexy and interesting. But you run more risk of rejection when those same people learn completely by surprise the “real you” Profile Photos (Part 3)...Believe it or not....pics of you with clothes on can be sexy too....I know, I know, but it’s true. Listen, for those of us over 40....the body isn’t what it once was....doesn’t mean it isn’t sexy, but believe it or not, a photo in some lingerie, or a pair of boxers, can be equally enticing....just a thought Profiles (Part 1)...Racism.....sigh, okay pet peeve here, yes I am an old opinionated redneck, but I despise racism in all forms. Now we all have personal preferences, whatever they may be, but to actually put “I only date white/black/yellow” is shallow as hell. I am not saying you have to date anyone you don’t want to, but you don’t need to throw your confederate flag up on your profile to prove your ignorance, and spare me the excuse that it saves you from getting unwanted email.....how fucking long does it take to click that X and delete without insulting anyone? Profiles(Part 2)...Negativity...okay, come on folks, putting on your profile how pissed off you are at the site/men/women/the world and how you are closing your account the next day (though it was dated 4 months ago), isn’t going to get the response you want. In fact most folks are going to pass you by, and those that don’t are predators who think you are needy and depressed and an easy target....call it a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don’t like it, leave. Profiles (Part 3)...Humour....now it may sound silly coming from the grumpiest bastard online, but the fact is, if you can insert a bit of humour in your profile in whatever form, I will bet a paycheck you get more positive responses (ps....I am retired). For the Ladies Arrogance...First of all, everyone who has half a clue knows the men on this site outnumber the ladies 15 or 20 to 1. So basically us fellas are dogs fighting over a bone and you gals reign supreme. But, and it’s a big but, you can’t let that get to your pretty little heads. The reality for most of us, including you gals on this site, is that you are ordinary, Joanne Average, who is looking for whatever you are looking for, and that like the rest of us, wouldn’t draw a second glance on the street. But the fact all of you get so much attention from us “dogs” you start to develop the Paris Hilton attitudes to match. I cannot count how many ladies profiles I have read (yep I read em) where in the first couple of sentences is “must be fit” or “I prefer athletic”, which is fine, we all seek perfection, but then I look at your photos and I see a 47 year old who’s belly sticks out farther than her boobs and she actually has to hold it up with one arm to show you her pussy. Do you see the contradiction? And the arrogance. Now lucky for you gals, most fellas on here don’t seem to care what you think, and will chase you anyways, but those of you seeking some substance behind the “dick” you might want to rethink how you portray yourselves. Hypocrisy....Similar to the arrogance issue, but the fact is I have read countless profiles where “attached” or “married” women make a definitive point of asking for “single” men only.....seriously? So your personal morals are okay with you cheating, but dammit, you will not allow some fella to cheat on his gal.....come on...get over yourselves... “Hello pot, this is kettle.....you’re black”. Clarity...Now unlike us fellas, you ladies have tons of choices for the most part, so notwithstanding some of my earlier points, why not make it clear what you are looking for to narrow things down..ie..it’s a pain in the ass for all involved when you spend time getting to know someone when you eventually find out that they really want you to tie them to the couch and beat them with a spatula and you aren’t really into the BDSM thing....always awkward. For the Fellas Profiles (Part 1)...Dick pics....we all have em, yep, we all put em up, but trust an old boy, don’t make it your profile pic, nor your hairy chest pic. If you aren’t brave enough to throw up a face pic, at least throw up a real pic with some of that cloudy crap you can do in Photoshop...seriously that will get more interest than another dick pic. Profiles (Part 2).....Fill it out....lol, you do realize you are competing against 92% of the people on this site for attention, and how much do you think a blank profile is going to get.....now if you are only using the site as a source of masturbatory fuel...have at it...but seriously, fill out the damn thing, some cute gal might actually read it. Profiles (Part 3)....Lying....OMG, what a perfectly unique thought...tell the fucking truth. This is the one that always stumped me....in fact the only damn reason I joined the site was I thought, “Okay, a site centered around people looking for sex, well at least no need for folks to bullshit and can finally be themselves” but damn I was wrong again..... How long does it take you fellas to figure out that lying on here is self-defeating.....you create this false persona, see a sexy profile, approach her, she responds positively based on what she reads, and eventually she wants to meet.....OH OH...now what??? LOL....you just fucked yourself. I don’t care who you are, there are ladies out there who will want to talk to and even fuck you, no matter who you are or what you look like, and the odds go way up if you are honest....hell I am a big scary grumpy fat bald old boy and there are ladies on here who like me.....seriously.....so try it, it might work. Okay, I think I have annoyed you folks long enough, even though I am sure I will think of another half dozen things to bitch about as soon as I post this, but I can save those for the next blog....enjoy. Sarge |
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Well said! 
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Great post!! I enjoyed reading it, and by the way, your 110% correct!!!
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Excellent post !!!
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Couldn't agree more, though for the 'arrogance'-part: let's add a counter-part to that one for the men: "Make an effort". What I mean by that is that I'm totally fed up with reading the same "Hi, you look hot, Let's meet up." email. If you can't even bother to read that one line on my profile and send me a personal message, I can't be bothered to take you seriously. Deal ?
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You folks are gonna make an old boy blush, but thank you, and like I said in the blog, I thought of a few more things, so I figure I will wait a bit and see what else annoys me and throw up another blog....
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Ouch! Points well made. Always a good read though. Dreaming2nite 
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can't really argue with any of that even if I'm not going to follow alllll the excellent advice Good girls go to heaven,....Bad girls go EVERYWHERE! I love to travel  Come visit my blog tigger678902
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very to the point!! i like that!!
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  hugs V So true! Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Really enjoy your blog. It's always so well thought out and written, and I find myself agreeing with the majority of your writing. Please write more and more often as I know I am not the only won who shares these sediments. Cheers.
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