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This is really worth understanding
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This is really worth understanding I came across this and it seems so insightful I wanted to share; "Life is unfair--sometimes to our advantage, sometimes to our disadvantage. We will all experience disappointments and crushing events somewhere along the way, setbacks for which there is no "reason," no one to blame. It might be disease; it might be injury; it might be accident; it might be losing a loved one; it might be getting swept away in a political shake-up; it might be getting shot down over Vietnam and thrown into a POW camp for eight years. What separates people, Stockdale (the Admiral who was shot down over Vietnam and spent 8 years in a POW camp), is not the presence or absence of difficulty, but how the deal with the inevitable difficulties of life. In wrestling with life's challenges, the Stockdale Paradox (you must retain faith that you will prevail in the end and you must confront the most brutal facts of your current reality) has proved powerful for coming back from difficulties not weakened, but stronger. Stockdale said the optimists were the worst at survival - they were the ones who told themselves "we will be out by Christmas" or "we will be out by Easter." Christmas came and they were not out. Easter came and they were not out. Stockdale endured torture; he hit himself with a stool and cut and scarred himself to prevent the Vietcong from using him for propaganda that he was being treated well. Stockdale never lost faith that he would prevail but he faced the brutal facts. "We are not going to be out by Christmas. Deal with it." I read a lot. This comes from Good to Great by Jim Collins. I am also reading "Gang Leader for a Day." Good to Great is about what makes great companies. |
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I am a believer in realism. A therapist once recommended "Learned Optimism" to me as a suggestion for improving my mental health. At the time, I felt that optimism would be foolhardy: I was in constant chronic pain; I was exhausted from the pain; I was anxious about my work; and this had been going on for quite some time and I was barely 40. I was also not exactly pessimistic: even though I'd fairly drained my savings on insurance co-pays and treatment modalities, as they say, I was completely prepared to keep spending - and I have. Being realistic helped me eventually to accept that I'll never be "well" in the way I was before and to enjoy the present - and to know that bumps in the road are part of the road itself that we can prepare for and never fully anticipate. You know it's a good post when the comment is almost as long as the post. Thanks for making me pause and remember to be thankful. *[blog charleyb223]*
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