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"IT'S NOT NORMAL"
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"IT'S NOT NORMAL" This post is my contribution to the thirty-third virtual symposium supremely organised by the cult leaderess, pocogato12. Please visit the Virtual Symposium Group’s #33 Symposium Link for August "What Is Normal?" to read other contributions to the 'What Is Normal?' virtual symposium.  Being called normal is both reaffirming and damning. I suspect we all don’t feel normal and not feeling normal is normal! Many times I’ve expressed my feelings to a friend and they say that’s normal, so then I assume what I feel is normal. But is it? I get reassured that what I think, feel and do is normal in the sense that many other people think, feel and do what I do. But is everything I think, feel and do normal? I doubt it. Normal seems to have two distinct meanings. One is a statistical meaning, normal is what most people think, feel and do - this meaning connects with culture. Culture is how we live. Being normal here is just doing what most people do. But normal, as a second meaning, can have more restrictive overtones and disciplinary undertones. Normal here is a moral judgement about whether what you do is good or bad. Being normal is part of a socialisation process of conforming to the dominant mores of a society. Are you normal? Many of you who read my blog can probably remember my last blog post, FANCY AN ORGY, where I laid out my secret plans for my girlfriend’s birthday. My plan was to take my girlfriend to a sex club and my dilemma was whether I tell her of my 'secret' plan beforehand. Helped by the advice I got, I did tell my girlfriend of my plan. The outcome of my disclosure was that we didn’t go to a sex club. After some discussion, my girlfriend said "It’s not normal" for me to want to take her to sex club where she may be fucked by other men. My response was garbled. I tried to use the statistical meaning of normal by saying that about one in ten couples swap partners - okay not normal in the sense that most couples swap partners but I was trying to make the point that it wasn’t totally abnormal. But that response didn’t wash; what my girlfriend really meant was that it was not normal and right for me to take her to a sex club. I said why not. She questioned why I would want her to have sex with someone else. I replied that it would turn me on. She then said that this shows I want sex with other people. I answered that it shows that I want sex with her with other people around. Our discussion was inconclusive. Bloody normal!  |
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Is this normal?  [image]
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I realise that the photo is stage-managed, but thanks for your analysis.  I am part of a couple so I don't have to man up!
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Your instant judgement is what makes blogging great!
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My take on this is that normal distribution works for data describing most of natural phenomenon but not all ..if you try to apply the statistical model to describe sexual human intersections - swap, group sex, open marriage, etc.I think you will not get anything out of it - sentences like 3 out of ten couple does something is definitely not describing the complexity of human sexual behavior and we can not aptly the sample theory to a population in a survey - do not know the size of the sample, the distribution law the answers and many other things so pretending g that the survey results follows a normal distribution is simply wrong.. Regards Teo
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That you wanted her to sex with someone while you watch, means you enjoy watching her with someone else. You are a voyeur. That does not mean "you" want to have sex with someone else. Normal (to me) means the standard imposed by the masses of society. And it restricts the people that feel the need to abide by that guideline. Sometimes it can mean being better. Or as the current political trend indicates, you should lower your bar of excellence to fit in. The photo of people engaged in group sex, will be described by some people as "not normal" because the people are physically fit and attractive.
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Normal used to be a setting on a washing machine or dryer. We live in a different world today than even ten years ago. Normal does not always mean good/healthy. Constant destruction from warring factions is normal in some countries but that doesn't make it a good thing. Domestic violence such as verbal abuse, controlling behaviors, etc., are normal for some but still not healthy. If you would have engaged in a few discussions with your girlfriend before thinking of what *you* wanted for *her* birthday, you would have planned a different 'gift.' No judgement from me, just sayin'. You're invited to  CorPlay anytime. Kinky-ish coffee or before bed time fun in favorite chat rooms. Life is too short not to laugh!  Peace, light, love 
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She knows what she wants spunky. Just too bad it didn't work out but at you guys were able to discuss this out hugs V Very normal on her part Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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A clear synth, your mind works in a normal way. It is a real question to know what are the deep motivations to make swinging, a good idea of post ... Sommaire Et la souffrance vgtale L'être idéal ? Un ange dévasté par l'humour. E.M. Cioran
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When it comes to sex there is no normal. All people have there own perversions. Each person has what they like and not many are the same. At least not exactly.
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Of course I'm normal....for me that is. Sorry about the sex club....you do realise that 99.9% of conversations between a man and a woman are inconclusive don't you!!!  ~~Anais Nin~~
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normal for who, for what point in time. my kink score is wicked high but i don't share well either so i get you GF's reticence. however, there was a time that i did group sex and found it not appalling just sort of unappealing as it seemed like someone always got left out. perhaps i just have ADD. snork. ah well.....normal seems too middle of the road for me. pretty sure i'm going to push the line no matter what. You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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Are you normal?..........what is normal? 
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I don't look normal to some folk. I have Ankylosing Spondilitis and it has affected how I walk etc. I was going to post something about it for this months symposium but found it rather too painful. 
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 It was good you told her first, it could have been a nasty surprise 
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My take on this is that normal distribution works for data describing most of natural phenomenon but not all ..if you try to apply the statistical model to describe sexual human intersections - swap, group sex, open marriage, etc.I think you will not get anything out of it - sentences like 3 out of ten couple does something is definitely not describing the complexity of human sexual behavior and we can not aptly the sample theory to a population in a survey - do not know the size of the sample, the distribution law the answers and many other things so pretending g that the survey results follows a normal distribution is simply wrong.. Regards Teo Thanks for stopping by.
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That you wanted her to sex with someone while you watch, means you enjoy watching her with someone else. You are a voyeur. That does not mean "you" want to have sex with someone else. Normal (to me) means the standard imposed by the masses of society. And it restricts the people that feel the need to abide by that guideline. Sometimes it can mean being better. Or as the current political trend indicates, you should lower your bar of excellence to fit in. The photo of people engaged in group sex, will be described by some people as "not normal" because the people are physically fit and attractive. You are right in that normal is an imposed standard and it can be very restrictive and even damaging.
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I think our views of normal are very similar. I never take too much notice of normal; it's either what most people do or what most people think we should do. But I am civilised; I try and treat people how I'd like to be treated and I don't do violence, whether physical or psychological.
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Normal used to be a setting on a washing machine or dryer. We live in a different world today than even ten years ago. Normal does not always mean good/healthy. Constant destruction from warring factions is normal in some countries but that doesn't make it a good thing. Domestic violence such as verbal abuse, controlling behaviors, etc., are normal for some but still not healthy. If you would have engaged in a few discussions with your girlfriend before thinking of what *you* wanted for *her* birthday, you would have planned a different 'gift.' No judgement from me, just sayin'. Thanks for stopping by.
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She knows what she wants spunky. Just too bad it didn't work out but at you guys were able to discuss this out hugs V Very normal on her part
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A clear synth, your mind works in a normal way. It is a real question to know what are the deep motivations to make swinging, a good idea of post ...
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When it comes to sex there is no normal. All people have there own perversions. Each person has what they like and not many are the same. At least not exactly.
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I'm pleased you were riveted with the post!
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Of course I'm normal....for me that is. Sorry about the sex club....you do realise that 99.9% of conversations between a man and a woman are inconclusive don't you!!!
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normal for who, for what point in time. my kink score is wicked high but i don't share well either so i get you GF's reticence. however, there was a time that i did group sex and found it not appalling just sort of unappealing as it seemed like someone always got left out. perhaps i just have ADD. snork. ah well.....normal seems too middle of the road for me. pretty sure i'm going to push the line no matter what.
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Are you normal?..........what is normal?
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