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AND WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE YOUR FATHER
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AND WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE YOUR FATHER  Above is William Frederick Yeames’ painting, And When Did You Last See Your Father. Painted in 1878, it depicts a scene from the English Civil War waged between supporters of King Charles I and Parliament from 1642 to 1651. The Parliamentarians, known as the roundheads and led by Oliver Cromwell, had captured two young of a prominent Royalist supporter. The younger brother was asked by the Roundhead captors, "And when did you last see his father?" The boy innocently told the truth. His older sister cried knowing what their father was about to be caught and executed because of his answer. Today is Fathers Day. I’m not a father so this day isn’t for me. However, I did have a father who I loved dearly. My Dad died about six years ago. Recently I came across the eulogy I gave at his funeral. Below is my tribute to my father. "Kind, soft, gentle, generous, warm, compassionate, loving, honest, hard working, polite, thoughtful, respectful, caring and, underneath all this, very determined. Anyway, enough of me! These are the words that come into my head when I think about my Dad, especially since he died ten days ago. I am not going to talk about the details of my Dad’s life; his achievements and his interests which, I am sure, will be familiar to family and friends present here. We will all have our own thoughts about my Dad, and I just want to share a few of my thoughts to you all as a tribute to my Dad; thoughts, which I hope, will resonate with you. My Dad was very much a family man; his family meant a lot to him. He was a loving and a loving brother. Over the last twenty years, he was a loving grandfather. My Dad was a loving father. He was very proud of my brother for, among other things, giving him three grandchildren (with a little help from his wife) and running the farm. Though I never presented him with grandchildren nor showed any interest in farming, I came to realise he was proud of me. Many years ago, it was always in the back of mind that maybe he was disappointed in me for not being a farmer. Over the last few years I now realise that he was far from disappointed and that he did everything possible to allow me to fly the farming nest. I will be forever grateful for how my Dad supported and encouraged me. I used to tease him that by me not wanting to farm, I saved him a lot of money as he did not have to set up two sons up in farming. Though he always laughed, he never coughed up those monies! Certainly his most important relationship in his life was with my Mum. He was a very loving husband. When my Mum died over two years ago, my Dad’s world had just collapsed. He had lost someone he dearly loved and married for nearly 50 years. Also at the time of Mum’s death, she was the main carer for my Dad, who was increasingly showing signs of age. How my Dad responded to my Mum’s death was something that I am very proud of. With the help of family, friends and others, he rose to the challenge and managed to stay at home, albeit with a few incidents, keeping heart and soul together until almost the end. He was inspirational. His relationship with my Mum was a very strong one, even in times of adversity when my Mum was struck down with motor neurone disease. At the time, my Mum could do the things that my Dad was not so good at (for example, remembering things) and my Dad could do the things that my Mum was not so good at (for example, opening letters, answering the phone). They were a brilliant team. Over the last few years my Dad’s hearing was not so good and the combination of Mum struggling to speak and my Dad struggling to hear sometimes made for some interesting viewing at times. Once my Dad asked my Mum where something was, my Mum replied that Sue, one of their carers, had put it in the kitchen. My Dad thought my Mum had said 'You put it in the kitchen' and protested that he had not. My Mum struggled again to say that Sue had put it there, but my Dad was getting increasingly exasperated and insisted he had not put it in the kitchen. He then turned round to me saying 'Look what I have to put up with'. My Mum then called him stupid, which, true to form, my Dad did not hear and asked me what my Mum had said. I replied 'You’re stupid'. Straight away we all laughed. My Mum meant the world to my Dad. One of the reasons I wanted to say a few words is that I wanted to say some of these words to him when he was alive. But, though I told him many things, there were a few things that I was not able to say to him because, for me, he all too suddenly died. I am not religious and I do not think he will hear them. But I am open minded and who knows? My Dad did believe in God and so maybe he will hear them. Though our worlds were quite different, we always got on very well and we were close to each other. We always talked, whether it was about farming, politics, football, Formula One or life in general. Though I never managed to shake his belief in God, his support for the Queen and his vote for the Tories (and did I try!), he taught me what it is to be human. He was my father, my friend, and my role model. He was home for me. Though home has now gone, my memories will remain strong and hopefully he will now be my guardian angel. Dad, I love you; I always loved you and I will always love you." What words would you use to describe your father? I want to wish all Dads here a very Happy Fathers Day.  |
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It was a wonderful eulogy, Spunky.  Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Bonjour Spunky C'est un très bel éloge à ton papa Le mien était toujours là pour moi , même si des fois nous étions pas toujours d'accord . Alzeimer l'a emporté en 6 ans et je n'aurais jamais pu parler de lui aussi bien que toi . J'espère que mes enfants pense un peu de bien de moi ♥ Bisou ♥ Poton ♥ Annie ♥ Hello Spunky This is a very nice praise your dad Mine was always there for me even though sometimes we not always agree. Alzheimer won in 6 years and I could never speak of him it as well as you. I hope my children think a little good to me ♥ Kiss ♥ Annie ♥
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Well done.  Vive La Difference
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My dad has a kind heart. Thanks for sharing.
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Beautiful. Thanks for sharing! I called my father "Daddy."
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What a lovely tribute to your father. There is not time nor words to describe my Dad....he was wonderful, supported and encouraged me in everything I did. He died 26 years ago and I still miss him so very much. ~~Anais Nin~~
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This is beautiful, spunky. It made me cry and laugh...I suppose that was the point. My parents were a good team too. Mom died first and dad died seven years later, on her birthday. We figured he just couldn't take it anymore.
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What a wonderful eulogy. What words would you use to describe your father? He was a hard working , tireless man and I miss him greatly
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happy fathers day
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I last spoke to my Dad April 27th 2005. The next morning he had a massive stroke while I was at work. I went to the cemetery to pay my respects today.
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I never saw enough of my Father. By that, I mean he sadly died when he was just 48 years old (heart attack) and I was just 14. I can remember him as a firm but fair, hard working, family man. 
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My father is the best. This is wonderful. hugs V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Lovely. My dad was open to life and always educating. I do the same with my children.
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I realise far more now than when I was a child that I was very lucky to have loving parents. I'm sorry to hear that your father is an asshole. 
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'What would Dad do?' is often a good question. Our Dads die but they live on within us! Thanks for stopping by,
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It was a wonderful eulogy, Spunky.
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A kind heart goes a long way!
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Bonjour Spunky C'est un très bel éloge à ton papa Le mien était toujours là pour moi , même si des fois nous étions pas toujours d'accord . Alzeimer l'a emporté en 6 ans et je n'aurais jamais pu parler de lui aussi bien que toi . J'espère que mes enfants pense un peu de bien de moi ♥ Bisou ♥ Poton ♥ Annie ♥ Hello Spunky This is a very nice praise your dad Mine was always there for me even though sometimes we not always agree. Alzheimer won in 6 years and I could never speak of him it as well as you. I hope my children think a little good to me ♥ Kiss ♥ Annie ♥ 
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Thanks. I love my Dad!
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Well done.
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My dad has a kind heart. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for stopping by.
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Beautiful. Thanks for sharing! I called my father "Daddy."
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I'm sorry to read that your father was disappointing figure in your life.
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What a lovely tribute to your father. There is not time nor words to describe my Dad....he was wonderful, supported and encouraged me in everything I did. He died 26 years ago and I still miss him so very much.
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This is beautiful, spunky. It made me cry and laugh...I suppose that was the point. My parents were a good team too. Mom died first and dad died seven years later, on her birthday. We figured he just couldn't take it anymore.
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Notre vie est un voyage-♦-Dans l'hiver et dans la nuit
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