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FARTING WITH CONFIDENCE
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FARTING WITH CONFIDENCE     The average person farts about 15 times a day. I’m not an average farter because I don’t fart! Heavy farters can buy a range of products to combat their flatulence. I have been tasked with testing these products, but as I can’t fart I’m looking for volunteers to test these products described and pictured below. Several companies have developed fart-pads that are placed and worn inside underwear. Green Finch Textiles have just launched its Gas Odour Neutraliser (GON) pads. The company’s cloth fart-pads are "treated with activated physico-chemical natural absorption technology" and are "comfortable and discreet" to wear. Subtle Butt also sells fart-pads, which are marketed as "saving graces". But the most upmarket fart-pads are offered by Flat-D Innovations, which sells disposable, reusable and premium pads to mask the odour of flatulence. A few companies have made special underwear to prevent any embarrassment when farting in public. For example, Shreddies make Flatulence Ladies Briefs and Men’s Hipster Boxers designed to absorb the smell of farts. Last but not least are Bed Farts Eradication Mints. These mints eliminate the dangers of bedtime farting, especially if your partner insists on forcing you to smell their farts under the duvet! Are you an average, an above-average or a below-average farter? Would you be willing to test these fart-smell deodorising products? If willing, what product would you like me to dispatch to your home address for testing? What words do you use to describe flatulence? I call a fart a fart. When I was little, farts were trumpets!     |
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 Are you an average, an above-average or a below-average farter? I think I can honestly say it is a particular skill at which I excel. Would you be willing to test these fart-smell deodorising products? Probably not. I'm sort of an all natural kind of guy. If willing, what product would you like me to dispatch to your home address for testing? I'd like to test drive the Pimpmobile in your Bad Taste pimping post. What words do you use to describe flatulence? Well, fart is the old standard, but I'm partial to butt trumpet too. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Are you an average, an above-average or a below-average farter? I think on a good day, I am above average Would you be willing to test these fart-smell deodorising products? If willing, what product would you like me to dispatch to your home address for testing? I think none. I am a natural kind of guy What words do you use to describe flatulence? "pedo" a Spanish word, it sounds better than fart
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Bonjour Spunky Un pet est un pet , Mais en français le verbe péter est tellement utilisé que j'avais fait un jeu Jouons avec le verbe Pter ♥ Bisou ♥ Poton ♥ Annie ♥ Hello Spunky A fart is a fart, but in French the verb to fart is so used that I had made a game Jouons avec le verbe Pter ♥ Kiss ♥ Annie ♥
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What's the definition of a fart? A turd honking for the right-of-way 
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I like spicy food so I am probably above average......and no I won't bother testing anything thanks all the same. I call a fart a fart!  ~~Anais Nin~~
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A fart is a fart, but when my grandkids pass the gass, I tell them they "bum burped"!
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Farts are a form of communication. You can tell a lot from a fart. Like what someone has been eating, or how healthy someone is.
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Are you an average, an above-average or a below-average farter? average nothing more! Good post for today Spunky! hugssssssssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Something smells around here. (imagine an emoji pinching its nose). You forgot the poor mans fart filter, Charcoal Briquets in his undies.  Vive La Difference
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1. My farting abilities have no equal............ 2. These products are a crime against humanity, I have already raised actions in court in 8 continents to prevent their manufacture. 3. Fart, trumps, cuescos, guffs, droppin yer guts, crackin one off...............too many. Ta for writing my 20th symposium post............... 
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Above average is always good!  Thanks for stopping by.
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Are you an average, an above-average or a below-average farter? I think I can honestly say it is a particular skill at which I excel. Would you be willing to test these fart-smell deodorising products? Probably not. I'm sort of an all natural kind of guy. If willing, what product would you like me to dispatch to your home address for testing? I'd like to test drive the Pimpmobile in your Bad Taste pimping post. What words do you use to describe flatulence? Well, fart is the old standard, but I'm partial to butt trumpet too.
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Are you an average, an above-average or a below-average farter? I think on a good day, I am above average Would you be willing to test these fart-smell deodorising products? If willing, what product would you like me to dispatch to your home address for testing? I think none. I am a natural kind of guy What words do you use to describe flatulence? "pedo" a Spanish word, it sounds better than fart
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Bonjour Spunky Un pet est un pet , Mais en français le verbe péter est tellement utilisé que j'avais fait un jeu Jouons avec le verbe Pter ♥ Bisou ♥ Poton ♥ Annie ♥ Hello Spunky A fart is a fart, but in French the verb to fart is so used that I had made a game Jouons avec le verbe Pter ♥ Kiss ♥ Annie ♥
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What's the definition of a fart? A turd honking for the right-of-way
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I like spicy food so I am probably above average......and no I won't bother testing anything thanks all the same. I call a fart a fart!
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I never ever fart... well... only during sex and when I laugh.... but I never have sex and I hardly ever laugh... so I hardly ever fart. No I am not interested in testing your products out... besides... there would be no need for them unless you make me laugh or you... oh never mind. I think I may have crossed the line with you one too many times this week already. Will you be reviewing butterfly body liners next? They are for instances when you thought it was a fart, but it wasn't. The seem to be marketing them to women, seems to me men would need them more, as they are usually the ones who've left skid marks in their undies. They come in small/medium or large/extra large. Shall I send a box over in the post? How big of an A-hole are you, um, I mean... what size will you be needing? Sorry. I've done it again. Forgive me I have Tourette's Syndrome. [image]
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Are you an average, an above-average or a below-average farter? Above average!  Would you be willing to test these fart-smell deodorising products? If they smell anything like my out gassing no! If willing, what product would you like me to dispatch to your home address for testing? Sorry! What words do you use to describe flatulence? Ass malfunctions!
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A fart is a fart, but when my grandkids pass the gass, I tell them they "bum burped"! 
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We should form a special club of below average farters. It seems everyone farts a lot on this site!
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Farts are a form of communication. You can tell a lot from a fart. Like what someone has been eating, or how healthy someone is.
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I must be unnatural as I don't fart!
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If I lit a match, the room would be filled with rose-scented air!
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Are you an average, an above-average or a below-average farter? average nothing more! Good post for today Spunky! hugssssssssss V
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Something smells around here. (imagine an emoji pinching its nose). You forgot the poor mans fart filter, Charcoal Briquets in his undies. Charcoal briquets, I'm sure, would work well to combat the smell of farting. I guess that's why men tend to be in charge of barbecues!
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