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AN UMBRELLA TAX
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AN UMBRELLA TAX    I propose there should be a new tax levied worldwide on the use of umbrellas in public places. I have been spiked so many times by people brandishing umbrellas on streets that an umbrella tax is much needed for reasons of public safety. Also an umbrella tax would help generate much-needed revenues for cash-strapped governments. Furthermore, I would levy a tax on the wearing of rucksacks/backpacks on public transport and on shoppers who wait until the cashier asks for money before they start rummaging in their pockets and bags to get their purses and wallets out. But let’s deal with the nuisance of umbrellas first! Here are five bits of umbrella trivia: 1. Umbrellas have been around since ancient times, but they were generally used to protect people from the sun rather than the rain; the word 'umbrella' stems from the Latin word 'umbra', meaning shade or shadow. 2. The first written record of a collapsible umbrella dates back to the year 21AD during the Xin Dynasty in China. 3. Umbrellas became popular in the West, especially with women, in the sixteenth century. 4. The International Day to End Violence against Sex Workers is commemorated each year on 17 December; a red umbrella is used to mark this day. 5. A rusty umbrella is when someone sticks and spreads their fingers in someone’s anus. Incredibly there’s no record of a man opening an umbrella up his bum … yet! When’s the last time you got spiked by an umbrella? Do you think there should be a tax on umbrellas? Have you ever given or received a rusty umbrella? Though I don’t like umbrellas in public, I’m all for rusty umbrellas in private. Rusty umbrellas should be exempt from this new umbrella tax! Immediately below are two images of a new type of hands-free umbrella. These umbrellas should be subject to a premium umbrella tax. If everyone wore these umbrellas when it’s raining, streets would become too congested!    |
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When’s the last time you got spiked by an umbrella? Never, I think, but it rains frequently where you live, and I don't spend much time downtown or on campus, which is the part of the city umbrellas frequent. Do you think there should be a tax on umbrellas? I have to break with you on this one. I'm a socialist so I'm expected to never see a tax I don't love, but the perception is incorrect. What I actually believe in is taxing everyone but me. I sort of like umbrellas, though. If you tax umbrellas they'll just go underground, which will make rusty umbrellas of all of them, even the ones who won't do anal. I don't think anyone should be goosed unless they're asking for it, and Ted Cruz is really asking for it. And here I think we've found our test subject for opening an umbrella in an anus. Have you ever given or received a rusty umbrella? Secrets was the topic of the recent Symposium, but you've already posted, Spunky. Let it go! However, just to show I'm a team player, yes. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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You got a triple "NO" this week, spunky! 
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It's been years since I've used an umbrella (outside!). I make do with the hood of my rain coat. Happy HNW 
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When’s the last time you got spiked by an umbrella? Last summer. Do you think there should be a tax on umbrellas?  Have you ever given or received a rusty umbrella?  Vive La Difference
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I'm not tall so it might be me doing the spiking!  An umbrella tax??? It would make a fortune on this Island!  I really did NOT need the visual associated with that last piece of information....I usually just stick to one finger.  ~~Anais Nin~~
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When’s the last time you got spiked by an umbrella? - Ummm, never! Umbrellas are not a big thing around here due to the wind. Do you think there should be a tax on umbrellas? - That surely would be one way to discourage they're use. Have you ever given or received a rusty umbrella? - Never even HEARD of it before! Happy HNW. I'm Going with an Umbrella on HNW Too Soon She's a Spinner Now [post 3312759] My Private Blog – Tell me All your Secrets
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When’s the last time you got spiked by an umbrella? Fortunately never Do you think there should be a tax on umbrellas? I stand firm, no new taxes  Have you ever given or received a rusty umbrella? No to both, she is a one finger gal
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 Those hands-free umbrellas wouldn't stand up to a storm around here. Umbrellas are only useful some of the time. Great in heavy rain, but useless and even dangerous in a storm. Too much of a pain to carry around most of the time, although there are days where I keep one handy. No "tax", but there should be a "fine" if I get spiked! 
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awesome thank you
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for some reason, a lot of people living here likes to swing their umbrellas and it has almost hit me a couple of times. No taxes please, I actually own about 8 of them so I'd be suffering ... No rusty umbrellas for me, thank you. Although Mr Happy and I would joke about puting a brolly in the trolley...
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On umbrella I now own sits in my golf cart. I still have not used it. I normally get my jacket out when it is raining. No tax on them but everything in Canada is taxed. Hugs V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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I can't recall the ever being stuck by an umbrella. There already is a tax on umbrellas... sales tax Find pleasure in giving pleasure
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It seems you like getting wet!
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When’s the last time you got spiked by an umbrella? Never, I think, but it rains frequently where you live, and I don't spend much time downtown or on campus, which is the part of the city umbrellas frequent. Do you think there should be a tax on umbrellas? I have to break with you on this one. I'm a socialist so I'm expected to never see a tax I don't love, but the perception is incorrect. What I actually believe in is taxing everyone but me. I sort of like umbrellas, though. If you tax umbrellas they'll just go underground, which will make rusty umbrellas of all of them, even the ones who won't do anal. I don't think anyone should be goosed unless they're asking for it, and Ted Cruz is really asking for it. And here I think we've found our test subject for opening an umbrella in an anus. Have you ever given or received a rusty umbrella? Secrets was the topic of the recent Symposium, but you've already posted, Spunky. Let it go! However, just to show I'm a team player, yes.
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Unfortunately it's not often very windy here so umbrellas are always wielded when it rains. which it does often!
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You got a triple "NO" this week, spunky!
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Very funny ! I have often been attacked by umbrellas in the crowd. Nobody would want to pay taxes. If everyone wore a hood and there would no longer umbrella, rusty or not ! 
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I'm glad you've signed up to the tax-the-umbrella campaign! Thanks for stopping by.
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It's been years since I've used an umbrella (outside!). I make do with the hood of my rain coat. Happy HNW
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When’s the last time you got spiked by an umbrella? Last summer. Do you think there should be a tax on umbrellas? Have you ever given or received a rusty umbrella?
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I'm not tall so it might be me doing the spiking! An umbrella tax??? It would make a fortune on this Island! I really did NOT need the visual associated with that last piece of information....I usually just stick to one finger.
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When’s the last time you got spiked by an umbrella? - Ummm, never! Umbrellas are not a big thing around here due to the wind. Do you think there should be a tax on umbrellas? - That surely would be one way to discourage they're use. Have you ever given or received a rusty umbrella? - Never even HEARD of it before! Happy HNW. I'm Going with an Umbrella on HNW Too Soon She's a Spinner Now [post 3312759] My Private Blog – Tell me All your Secrets
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awesome thank you
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eeee-yuck! um, no, I mean what an interesting post Hugh. This from a man who actually had to look up motor-boating. Let's keep it to a treble no here. It's bad enough window screens and closets are taxed, rein it in will you? Besides, isn't only tourists who are foolish enough to try and use umbrellas there? When I've been silly enough to try, mine have ended up broken and in the bin very quickly. Or is it just the winds at the seafront that renders umbrellas useless?
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When’s the last time you got spiked by an umbrella? Fortunately never Do you think there should be a tax on umbrellas? I stand firm, no new taxes Have you ever given or received a rusty umbrella? No to both, she is a one finger gal
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