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BANNED FROM SEX
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BANNED FROM SEX  Below is a letter sent to Suzi Godson, The Times’ sex counsel: My long-term girlfriend likes to impose a sex ban every so often, where we spend a week not allowed to touch each other. She thinks it increases the excitement by making us mad with desire for each other, but I think we shouldn’t need that crutch to have good sex. The agony aunt - sorry, sex counsel - noted that the girlfriend’s sex ban is "naïve" by creating artificial barriers to intimacy. Suzi Godson believed that banning sex is "misguided" as research shows that "having sex (that you want to have) can boost rather than diminish libido." She advised that the girlfriend "may find that this year’s limit is next year’s target." Have you ever imposed a temporary ban on a partner from having sex with you? Have ever been banned from having sex with your partner? Have you ever banned yourself from having sex? If a partner temporarily banned me from having sex in such circumstances, I’d permanently ban them from my life! I’ve never indulged in sexual abstinence. If there’s been a period in my life when I didn’t have sex, it was because of a lack of opportunity and not because of a conscious choice! One of my friends periodically undergoes abstinence from sex, sometimes for a period of up to a year. My friend claims that, by not having sex, he becomes more enlightened. I think he’s reading too many books on stoicism. I tease him that he’s just trying to rationalise his lack of sexual opportunities due to his ugliness! Suzi Godson observed that many people often need a benchmark of what constitutes as normal when it comes to sex but warned of the dangers of being “obsessed with numbers”. In their 2013 The Normal Bar bestseller book, Chrisanna Northrup, Pepper Schwartz and James Witte surveyed 70,000 people and found that couples on average have sex three to four times a week. But last year Dr Amy Muise and other psychologists from the University of Toronto found that couples who have sex just once a week enjoy the happiest relationships. It seems more sex makes us less happy! I suspect the University of Toronto psychologists found only a correlation and not causation, a common pitfall in much scientific quantitative research.  |
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Never had a ban, not like the idea of that.
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When couples are going through counseling and one of the partners does not have the libido of the other, the common practice by the counselor is to put a sex ban in place, so that the undersexed one doesn't feel the pressure to perform while the counseling is taking place. It makes sense, if only because the sense of guilt for the undersexed one can be enormous and contribute to feelings of resentment to the one with the higher sex drive. Unfortunately, as you so aptly exampled in your post, the one having the ban put on them then becomes resentful. For this reason, I think that perhaps, people really SHOULD know if they are matched sexually speaking before marrying. Thank you, this will be the basis for my next post. Do I have your permission to use the link on this post to link it on my post of today? Kitkat The observant make the best lovers, I may not do right, but I do write, I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life, Kitkat Come check out my blog KItkat1415 check out this post by me Adventures In Body Grooming #39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40
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The only ban I've experienced was after my wife had the babies. She was the one who broke that ban... I was trying to be good but what can I say...  Vive La Difference
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I don't think mine is a "ban" ...at least not for a more intense romp when we do have sex. I think maybe she just lost interest or something....I surely haven't lost interest!
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Have you ever imposed a temporary ban on a partner from having sex with you? Nope. Have ever been banned from having sex with your partner? I divorced her. Have you ever banned yourself from having sex? See above answer. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Maybe the people who say 3 or 4 times are saying what they think they should get, not what they are getting, and so are unhappy. Whereas the people saying once a week are content with what they get and so don't exaggerate... In other words... I don't trust anything that people say about sex 
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Have you ever imposed a temporary ban on a partner from having sex with you? No I didn't do it! Have ever been banned from having sex with your partner? Yes the Doctor said no sex for xxxx months for his health Have you ever banned yourself from having sex? Not at all .. try to get as much as I can. hugsssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Have you ever imposed a temporary ban on a partner from having sex with you? Nope. Never. Have ever been banned from having sex with your partner? Yes. It ended badly. Have you ever banned yourself from having sex? Yes, chemo was not conducive with sex. Visit my blog It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World of NaughtyInSO, leave a comment, become a watcher. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LIVE AND LET LIVE Be happy! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Have you ever imposed a temporary ban on a partner from having sex with you? If it is a mutual decision, but driven from one person, never. Have ever been banned from having sex with your partner? Not banned...a hiatus which I was not pleased. She hid behind her "depression" but it turns out she was having an affair...we got divorced! Have you ever banned yourself from having sex? Yes...when I got divorced. I needed time to figure me out. “Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh Come and read my blog! Become a watcher! veryfunnycple64 
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Since when has six..sorry, sex, been all about numbers?  
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Have you ever imposed a temporary ban on a partner from having sex with you? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have ever been banned from having sex with your partner? No,, if it did happen, it would be a permanent one! Have you ever banned yourself from having sex? Never voluntarily
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I'm just naturally not getting any sex at all these days, in a terrible drought, if it wasn't for masturbation I would go completely insane.   Funny women are incredibly sexy!
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 , nope never had a bann, never wanted one, 2-3 times a week is ok, has been like that for the last few years, in our younger days it was every day
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Have you ever imposed a temporary ban on a partner from having sex with me? Has the war made you made man? No No and No Find pleasure in giving pleasure
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Never had a ban, not like the idea of that. Thanks for stopping by.
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I'd ban sex if I was going to catch a disease too!
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When couples are going through counseling and one of the partners does not have the libido of the other, the common practice by the counselor is to put a sex ban in place, so that the undersexed one doesn't feel the pressure to perform while the counseling is taking place. It makes sense, if only because the sense of guilt for the undersexed one can be enormous and contribute to feelings of resentment to the one with the higher sex drive. Unfortunately, as you so aptly exampled in your post, the one having the ban put on them then becomes resentful. For this reason, I think that perhaps, people really SHOULD know if they are matched sexually speaking before marrying. Thank you, this will be the basis for my next post. Do I have your permission to use the link on this post to link it on my post of today? Kitkat
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The only ban I've experienced was after my wife had the babies. She was the one who broke that ban... I was trying to be good but what can I say...
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I don't think mine is a "ban" ...at least not for a more intense romp when we do have sex. I think maybe she just lost interest or something....I surely haven't lost interest!
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Have you ever imposed a temporary ban on a partner from having sex with you? Nope. Have ever been banned from having sex with your partner? I divorced her. Have you ever banned yourself from having sex? See above answer.
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Maybe the people who say 3 or 4 times are saying what they think they should get, not what they are getting, and so are unhappy. Whereas the people saying once a week are content with what they get and so don't exaggerate... In other words... I don't trust anything that people say about sex
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Women aren't so fucked up. We all are!
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Have you ever imposed a temporary ban on a partner from having sex with you? No I didn't do it! Have ever been banned from having sex with your partner? Yes the Doctor said no sex for xxxx months for his health Have you ever banned yourself from having sex? Not at all .. try to get as much as I can. hugsssss V
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Have you ever imposed a temporary ban on a partner from having sex with you? Nope. Never. Have ever been banned from having sex with your partner? Yes. It ended badly. Have you ever banned yourself from having sex? Yes, chemo was not conducive with sex.
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There are good reasons, like in your case, where a sex ban is necessary. I should have been less damning of a sex ban; it's all down to the reaasons behind it.
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