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BERNIE, THE BOLT!
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BERNIE, THE BOLT!   Bob Monkhouse was an English comedian who regularly hosted many television game shows. From the late 1960s to the mid-1970s, Bob Monkhouse hosted the popular game show, The Golden Shot. This show involved a crossbow attached to a television camera. Contestants would then shout instructions - up, down, stop, left, right, etc - to the blindfolded cameraman to aim and fire the crossbow bolt at a target apple. If the bolt hit the apple, the contestant would win a prize! Before each game, Bob Monkhouse would say, "Bernie, the bolt!", as a cue for the bolt to be loaded in the crossbow. The bolt-loader was never called Bernie! There were a couple of accidents in the studio when the bolt was fired well away from the apple and towards people in the studio. Bob Monkhouse was a prodigious compiler of one-liners. It’s claimed he made over a million jokes. His jokes were rarely rip-roaringly funny but they were always slickly delivered usually at his own expense. He wrote down all his jokes which have been published in 16 volumes. On 29 December 2003, aged 75, Bob Monkhouse died from prostate cancer. His best joke was saved until after his death. A few years after his death, the Prostate Cancer Research Foundation launched a campaign to raise awareness about prostate cancer featuring Bob Monkhouse posthumously. His jokes were used in this campaign, such as: • "As a comedian, I’ve died a thousand deaths. Prostate cancer, I don’t recommend." • "What killed me kills one man per hour in Britain. That’s even more than my wife’s cooking." • "Ok, so I died…. But don’t think you can get rid of me that easily." That campaign was brilliantly funny, well I thought so! Sometimes comedians are funnier after they’ve died. I’m also thinking of Lenny Bruce and Tony Hancock. Bob Monkhouse also used to attend sex parties organised by his lover, Diana Dors. On her death, Bob Monkhouse quipped: "The awkward part about an orgy, is that afterwards you're not too sure who to thank." Do you enjoy television game shows? If so, what’s your favourite game show? Have you ever participated in a game show? My favourite game shows were or are The Golden Shot, The Generation Game, Countdown, Supermarket Sweep and now Pointless. I once was in the studio audience for Nicholas Parsons’ Sale of the Century. I think Nicholas Parsons' stock will rise after he’s dead! For every comment received, I’ll post a Bob Monkhouse joke!   |
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Do you enjoy television game shows? I have never watched one. Maybe they are different over here. Ours are just mindless dribble If so, what’s your favourite game show? None Have you ever participated in a game show? Never[/B]
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I used to enjoy watching "Family Feud", and no I never participated in one   WITHOUT PASSION LIFE IS NOTHING
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He was both clever and funny. Nice post, thanks! blog on!
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Do you enjoy television game shows? Not much. If so, what’s your favourite game show? "Jeopardy" is kind of fun to watch, once in a while. Have you ever participated in a game show? Nope! Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Do you enjoy television game shows? Yes If so, what’s your favourite game show? I like the price is right Have you ever participated in a game show? Never hugssssssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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There was this broadcast when I was young, completely odd, called "les raisins verts" (green grapes ... as it was meant to make people protest about it, with whirling scenes behind the singers). It hosted a loony from Hara-Kiri (of which Charlie Hebdo comes from) who took professeur Choron as a name. His contribution was a game : "les jeux de cons du professeur Choron (professor Choron's morons game. I remember one in which he asked yhe viewers to 1) get a hammer 2) wait until a target would show on the screen 3) hit the target with the hammer as close as possible to the center. Amazingly some did, several getting injured with the implosion of the tube. Choron's formula in the end was always "who have played won". There were no prizes. Eeerr ... this tells what I think of game shows. I did watch some afterwards with my mother who liked quizzes, and always told me "you ought to participate" - I answered to many questions, it's so far easier when not in a studio. I never did. About prostate cancer ... I have a few people I know (not Mitterand, alas, people I really know) who suffer from it ... including a blogger. I am against all cancers, therefore I'll never catch it.
 [post 3567855] My standard members mailbox xoxox Ma messagerie pour standards
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Most of today's television game shows seem so silly and so contrived. Wish they'd bring back the old Hollywood Squares gang! Alright, Jeopardy is pretty funny... mostly because I keep inserting my own SNL jokes when I watch.
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I quite like Game shows but I've never participated in one....my favourite at present is "The Chase". ~~Anais Nin~~
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Not really! none! NO!
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Do you enjoy television game shows? Not really. If so, what’s your favourite game show? I don't have one. Have you ever participated in a game show? Thankfully, no. Visit my blog It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World of NaughtyInSO, leave a comment, become a watcher. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LIVE AND LET LIVE Be happy! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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I enjoy the Match Game show from the late 70's and early 80's. Jeopardy! is my favorite game show.
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Do you enjoy television game shows? I have never watched one. Maybe they are different over here. Ours are just mindless dribble If so, what’s your favourite game show? None Have you ever participated in a game show? Never  Here's another Bob Monkhouse joke: "I've never been lucky with the ladies although I once met a feminist prostitute who insisted on paying half."
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I used to enjoy watching "Family Feud", and no I never participated in one Here's another Bob Monkhouse joke: "It got up to 94 degrees today - that's pretty good at my age."
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He was both clever and funny. Nice post, thanks! blog on! Here's another Bob Monkhouse joke: "I can still enjoy sex at 74 - I live at 75, so it's no distance." Thanks for stopping by.
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Do you enjoy television game shows? Not much. If so, what’s your favourite game show? "Jeopardy" is kind of fun to watch, once in a while. Have you ever participated in a game show? Nope! Here's another Bob Monkhouse joke: "My parents moved to Yorkshire when I was six. I moved when I was ten. It took me that long to track them down."
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I guess QI is a game show with highly arbitraty scoring. I love QI too. Here's another Bob Monkhouse joke or rather a question: "What do you give a florist who is sick?"
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Do you enjoy television game shows? Yes If so, what’s your favourite game show? I like the price is right Have you ever participated in a game show? Never hugssssssss V Here's another Bob Monkhouse joke: "Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional."
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I've only seen a couple of Only Connect shows. Here's another Bob Monkhouse joke: "Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?"
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There was this broadcast when I was young, completely odd, called "les raisins verts" (green grapes ... as it was meant to make people protest about it, with whirling scenes behind the singers). It hosted a loony from Hara-Kiri (of which Charlie Hebdo comes from) who took professeur Choron as a name. His contribution was a game : "les jeux de cons du professeur Choron (professor Choron's morons game. I remember one in which he asked yhe viewers to 1) get a hammer 2) wait until a target would show on the screen 3) hit the target with the hammer as close as possible to the center. Amazingly some did, several getting injured with the implosion of the tube. Choron's formula in the end was always "who have played won". There were no prizes. Eeerr ... this tells what I think of game shows. I did watch some afterwards with my mother who liked quizzes, and always told me "you ought to participate" - I answered to many questions, it's so far easier when not in a studio. I never did. About prostate cancer ... I have a few people I know (not Mitterand, alas, people I really know) who suffer from it ... including a blogger. I am against all cancers, therefore I'll never catch it. Here's another Bob Monkhouse joke: "A cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, 'Take me to the Canaries'."
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oops! "Prostrate Cancer Research Foundation", There is a cure you know. Take two aspirin, have a lie down and you will be fine upon rising! Do you enjoy television game shows? not really If so, what’s your favourite game show? I remember watching Password and Hollywood Squares and To Tell the Truth, oh and a few others, but tv is a waste of time. Mainly now I watch movies or netflix. Have you ever participated in a game show? Not me, have you Hugh? Oh wait, that's not true, we had a game show at the library. We traveled to local schools and put on a show called, "Name That Book!". It was very cute. For example: This book is about a pig named Wilbur, the runt of the litter. His life was spared after the farmer's daughter, Fern, rescued him by asking her father: "If I had been very small at birth, would you have killed me?" Her father spares the pig, but only if Fern agrees to care for it. Wilbur is Fern's constant companion until he grows big enough to be transferred to his new home in the barn of Fern's neighboring uncle. Missing Fern, Wilbur begins to befriend other animals in the barn. His most important friend, however, turns out to be a spider who occupies a web in the corner of a doorway above him. Name that book! We had different categories, Red, Green, Yellow and Blue and different points based on the difficulty of the question. We had an elementary school version and a middle school version. We made the rounds near the end of the school year to promote the library and the summer reading program. So now you know! Here's another Bob Monkhouse joke: "People always say: 'You're a comedian, tell us a joke.' They don't say: 'You're an MP, tell us a lie.'"
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Most of today's television game shows seem so silly and so contrived. Wish they'd bring back the old Hollywood Squares gang! Alright, Jeopardy is pretty funny... mostly because I keep inserting my own SNL jokes when I watch. Here's another Bob Monkhouse joke: "When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up, what did he go back to?" Thanks for stopping by.
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I quite like Game shows but I've never participated in one....my favourite at present is "The Chase". Here's another Bob Monkhouse joke: "What do gardeners do when they retire?"
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Not really! none! NO! Here's another Bob Monkhouse joke: "Marriage is an investment that pays dividends if you pay interest."
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Do you enjoy television game shows? Not really. If so, what’s your favourite game show? I don't have one. Have you ever participated in a game show? Thankfully, no. Here's another Bob Monkhouse joke: "A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away."
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I've not heard of the Price is Right, not because it's dated but I don't think it crossed the Atlantic. I'm a few years older than you! Here's another Bob Monkhouse joke: "I want to die like my father, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers."
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