A MANIAC FOR PRESIDENT - a Blog Post by spunkycumfun

29519 posts
4/23/2015 9:33 am

A MANIAC FOR PRESIDENT

The election campaign has been electrified since the recent announcement that mcmaniac is running for the US presidency. The President-to-be-Elected has assembled an impressive campaign team, comprising kzoopair, [blog kathynj], normalisoktoo and [blog petitandnaughty].

His campaign has already launched a raft of policy proposals to ensure that mcmaniac becomes the 45th President of the United States and takes his rightful place in the White House.

To find out more what mcmaniac stands for, please see his [post 3615152], [post 3616075] and [post 3620486] posts, kzoopair’s McManiac for President, Orgasms and Weed and Campaign Links McManiac for President posts, [blog kathynj]’s [post 3615824] post, normalisoktoo’s McManiac For President Campaign Promotion 1 post, and finally but not least [blog petitandnaughty]’s Power to the Perverts McManiac Nation post.

As a transatlantic gesture of support, the Official Monster Raving Loony Party, a registered UK political party, has just announced its support to mcmaniac’s presidential campaign. The Official Monster Raving Loony Party will ensure that the party is put back into the Party!

The Official Monster Raving Loony Party’s slogan is "vote for insanity". Screaming Lord Sutch established the party in the 1980s. Since the suicide of Screaming Lord Sutch, the Official Monster Raving Loony Party is now under the leadership Alan 'Howlin Laud' Hope. Above are Screaming Lord Sutch and Alan 'Howlin Laud' Hope, who's on the right of David Cameron if unsure where the loony is standing!

The party has just published its Manicfesto for next month’s general election in the UK, a copy of which can be purchased from the party’s shop below. Here are the Official Monster Raving Loony Party’s election promises in full:

1. All University Tuition fees for women would be free as we are strong believers in Female intuition. (Due to gender equality laws we would include males as well.)
2. We propose to cancel stamp duty [a tax on buying houses] … stamps are expensive enough so we shouldn’t have to pay duty on them.
3. Besides leap years, there needs to be hop, skip, and jump years.
4. Parliament will be relocated to Wormwood Scrubs [a prison], reducing the commuting costs for most Peers and MPs.
5. We will reduce the national debt by selling the castles back to the French.
6. Tax payers to receive Nectar Points [loyalty card points] from HMRC [UK’s tax collection agency].
7. We can confirm that the Loony party was not notified of the EU budget demand of £1.7bn before George Osborne or David Cameron.
8. The BBC in keeping with their policy of not important news coverage will be televising the incarceration of Oscar Pistorius 24 hours a day. Yes you can see the riveting instalments of Oscar sitting in a cell for 5 years. You can see Oscar walking around his cell and his special hour of Recreation. Ping Pong exclusives … Don’t miss the Slopping Out Special Highlights.
9. The Loony Party being strong advocates of equal pay agree that the women workers of Asda [supermarket chain owned by Walmart] should have equal pay with the men. We have it on good authority that George Osborne also agrees with this, and to save needless court costs, has asked for the men’s wages to be reduced accordingly.
10. It is proposed that all, leaflets, brochures, circulars, manifestos, posters etc, used by any Political Party during an election, be collected up recycled and given to the local Food Banks for free distribution as toilet paper.
11. We propose to make unicorns a protected species.
12. It is proposed to introduce free travel on trams and buses for musicians as they bring joy into people’s lives.
13. All Food sold in fast food establishments should be clearly marked "May contain traces of real food".
14. All vegetables sold in supermarkets should be clearly marked "Strictly for oral use only".
15. We propose the removal of funding for weather prediction as they seem to get it wrong most of the time anyway. This money would then be redirected into an extensive scientific research scheme to find out what actually came first, the chicken or the egg?

The Official Monster Raving Loony Party is very happy for the US President-to-be-Elected mcmaniac to borrow these policy proposals for his presidential campaign provided he throws a big party in the White House on his inauguration with free cigars and Monica Lewinsky as the guest of honour, provided that Americans revert to the correct spelling and usage of English words, and provided the Statue of Liberty is renamed the Statue of Insanity with the exhumed body of Screaming Lord Sutch holding the torch!

There’s no need to ask any questions because all the answers are clearly set out above. The answer is to vote for a maniac!

kzoopair 73M/71F

25831 posts
4/23/2015 9:44 am

Oh, this is marvelous!

Absofuckinglutely marvelous! Or should I say "Fabulous"? (We can use the drag queen vote.)

Thank you, thank you, thank you Spunky! Christ this is funny! I will post a link to this directly!

Become a member now and get a free tote bag.

pal334 69M

45821 posts
4/23/2015 10:14 am

He does seem at least as qualified as the others

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