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WILLY-WARMER WORKER WANTED
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WILLY-WARMER WORKER WANTED  The Scottish comedian Chic Murray was on stage wearing odd socks. A heckler pointed this out to him, whereupon the comedian replied: “Yes, and I’ve got another pair exactly the same at home.” A lot of attention has been spent on the mystery of single socks in people’s wardrobes. One scientist, Brian J Reardon, developed the quantum theory of laundry using complex mathematical formulae. The chartered accountant, Marcus A Wide, formulated the one-sock theory of forensic accounting. A physicist, Martin Hachenberg, proposed the washing machine theory that states “socks are tunnelling from one machine to another.” I have quite a collection of socks; I love wearing brightly-coloured socks and I do my best to change my socks every day. But I have now amassed about ten single socks and, for months, I cannot track down their partners. Do you have a collection of single socks? If so, how long do you keep them hoping their partners turn up? And where exactly are those missing matching socks? Do you ever wear odd socks when going out? Last night, I think I have solved the mystery of my single socks. When I woke up in the middle of the night, I found my cock was wearing one of my socks as a sock-puppet. My cock is now the chief suspect for my missing socks. Now, I know what to do with my single socks. I now plan to launch a range of willy-warmers. But I need someone to turn my odd socks into willy-warmers. Please apply within if you want to be my willy-warmer worker. Have you ever worn a willy-warmer or been with someone wearing a willy-warmer?  |
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Just for the record....I don't wear socks so have none to wash or lose!  I do however wash socks in my daughter's house.....and try to pair them up....I also know exactly where the odd socks go in her house....the feckin dog takes them and eats them!!! I'll be a willy warmer worker....I have a very good eye for measuring!!!  ~~Anais Nin~~
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I don't wear mismatched socks! All my white socks are the same, so as a hole appears in one, I still have a match!! I have my own willy warmer....a pink/white crocheted one!
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 . I was going to get one of these made for me, but the lady that was going to do the measurements did not follow through
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Everyone has a collection of single socks. The thing I hate the most, is just after you give up on finding that matching partner and throw the single that you have out... the missing partner then makes a sudden appearance. Find pleasure in giving pleasure
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Now I know where that sock ended up! Ty for finding it! hugsssssssssss V Do you have a collection of single socks? If so, how long do you keep them hoping their partners turn up? I try to find the partner and if not it is used for cleaning next. And where exactly are those missing matching socks? a few Do you ever wear odd socks when going out? never.. Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Dear Madam Thank you very much for your application for the vacant willy-warmer worker post. I'm pleased to inform you that your application has been successful, though references will need to be checked before you start work. Your first willy-warming job is below; I hope it's within your capabilities! Yours sincerely spunkycumfun [image]
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Just for the record....I don't wear socks so have none to wash or lose! I do however wash socks in my daughter's house.....and try to pair them up....I also know exactly where the odd socks go in her house....the feckin dog takes them and eats them!!! I'll be a willy warmer worker....I have a very good eye for measuring!!! I've just made the first prototype of a willy-warmer and I'd welcome your expert feedback.  [image]
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I don't wear mismatched socks! All my white socks are the same, so as a hole appears in one, I still have a match!! I have my own willy warmer....a pink/white crocheted one!
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I'm inclined to believe your alien-black hole theory on disappearing socks.
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. I was going to get one of these made for me, but the lady that was going to do the measurements did not follow through
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I suspect some of my socks have been unwittingly taken by other men at sex parties.
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Everyone has a collection of single socks. The thing I hate the most, is just after you give up on finding that matching partner and throw the single that you have out... the missing partner then makes a sudden appearance.
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I have one or two solo socks lingering... I hold onto them for about 5 years and if their partner doesn't reappear, I consign the poor, forlorn creature to the rubbish bin. The washing machine or clothes dryer has eaten their partner. I have never worn odd socks out but have worn the sock for the left foot on the right foot and vice versa. I elect each sock from each pair to either the right or the left foot, only. I know how nutty that sounds.
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I have solved the problem. I bought a box of large safety pins. I started out one pair at a time when to took the dirty ones off. I clipped them together with a safety pin until they were all fastened. The safety pins don't rust and they haven't left large holes in the socks so far.
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Do you have a collection of single socks? If so, how long do you keep them hoping their partners turn up? If I don't find their partner within a month I toss them out. And where exactly are those missing matching socks? Good question?  Do you ever wear odd socks when going out? In an emergency maybe but I don't recall doing that recently! 
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Now I know where that sock ended up! Ty for finding it! hugsssssssssss V Do you have a collection of single socks? If so, how long do you keep them hoping their partners turn up? I try to find the partner and if not it is used for cleaning next. And where exactly are those missing matching socks? a few Do you ever wear odd socks when going out? never..
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Dear Elisabeth Your references have testified for your considerable willy-warming abilities. I very much hope you can start work immediately. Yours sincerely spunkycumfun
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That takes some doing, even for a Great Dane, to eat all those socks! Thanks for the news story.
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