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BORING SEX
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BORING SEX  It’s often said that sex with the same partner gets boring over time. Generally, the longer a couple are together, the less sex they have. Of course, there are exceptions, but let’s just car-park the exceptions and focus on the general trend. In 2005 Alexandra Brewis and Mary Meyer, two anthropologists from the University of Georgia, wrote a paper, ‘Marital coitus across the life course’, published in the Journal of Biological Sciences, which makes for fascinating bedtime reading! Brewis and Meyer examined over 90,000 couples across 19 countries from Africa, America and Asia. They found that declining sexual frequency over time is shared across all countries and is not peculiar to certain countries or cultures. Brewis and Meyer wrote: “It is found that declining coital frequency over time seems a shared demographic feature of human populations, but whether marriage duration, wife's age or husband's age is most responsible for that decline varies by country. In many cases, coital frequency actually increases with women's age into their thirties, once husband's age and marriage duration are taken into account, but in most cases coital frequency declines with husband's age and marital duration.”  Brewis and Meyer’s findings were supported by research conducted by three American sociologists, Vaughn Call, Susan Sprecher and Pepper Schwartz in the 2005 paper, ‘The Incidence and Frequency of Marital Sex in a National Sample’, published in the Journal of Marriage and Family. The three researchers suggested that “after age 50, the relevant question is not how much a couple’s sexual frequency declines, but whether they continue to have sexual intercourse at all”. Psychologists often use habituation theory to explain why couples have sex less the longer they’re together. Habituation is a term to describe how people stop responding to a stimulus when they’re exposed to the same stimulus for a long time. Basically, as two people get used to each other over time, they are less likely to be sexually aroused with each other. As a result of habituation, Arthur Aron, a psychologist from the University of Toronto, advised long-standing couples to “avoid the extremely strong lure of the familiar” if they want to spice up their sex lives. It seems it’s not about spending more time together but about spending different times together. Does sex with the same partner get more boring? If part of a couple, how has the frequency of sex with your partner changed over time? Or, when part of a couple, how did sexual frequency change over time? My theory why sex gets more boring over time is that in time we are all dead and necrophilia is dead boring! Below is a Claudia Burlotti photograph, Anna and Roberto at Home.  |
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 . Having said that , I am now seeing several ladies, so I guess boredom is out [image]
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6/13/2014 4:53 am |
And that supports my belief that monogamy Is not the way to go. Saying that when I left my marriage of 26 years we were still having sex very frequently but mostly it was boring lol An orgasm a day , makes you so much happier at work and play
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In my world sex with the same partner gets better and better. Though other issues like broken trust derail it. I love the comments... pal334's pic: now THAT is a workout hahaha LisaLipgloss: Yay!! Somebody else with the same numbers. I told my ex that "women hit their sexual peak in their 40's" and he told me no, 30's. Though by the feel of things... 40 is right  Back to the topic: I do see how Life can mess up a sex life. Kids, jobs, morgages... just the everyday-ness of life can suck out one's energy. But I still believe it can (and does, for me) get better and better.
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Poor old Roberto - he'll need a nap by the time he's got Anna out of her anti-sex armour! 
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Same partner what you have to do is spice it up to keep it going hard and long... and good.. hugs V Great post here spunky... Maybe a FFM or MFM.. that would do it! Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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I think it all depends on every aspect of a relationship....if you still love your partner the sex won't be boring....if you're in a rut....forget it!!  ~~Anais Nin~~
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If Sex is boring, you are doing something wrong. I can see it become maybe routine, but boring.  My 2 cents anyway.Find pleasure in giving pleasure
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My sex is never boring. My sex drive is still in high gear but, yes, the sex has fallen to the wayside over the last 10 years.....but I was "lucky" today".  First time this year!
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. Having said that , I am now seeing several ladies, so I guess boredom is out[image] 
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Haha, great post S... I know that sex loses its lustre in long term relationships where the sex engaged in lacks variety of positions and other activities. I hope your mouth is feeling a lot better after your extraction or at least will by tomorrow morning at the latest. 
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sex definitely does phase out through time. married to same woman, lots of different things tried but still infrequent Thanks for stopping by.
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The sample of 90,000 couples from many different countries is massive suggesting the research findings are broadly true. But I suspect that members of this site aren't representative of the wider population when it come to sex!
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A man's increasing age was picked up by researchers to partly explain why couples have less sex over time but it wasn't the biggest factor to explain why sex with the same person gets more boring.
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And that supports my belief that monogamy Is not the way to go. Saying that when I left my marriage of 26 years we were still having sex very frequently but mostly it was boring lol
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As you rightly say, imagination is essential for a good sex life. I suspect this site's members are not typical of the wider population when it comes to sex!
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That's great to hear. I think members of this site will be quite atypical of the wider population when it comes to sex.
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I have met a few older teenagers (19 year olds, specifically) in the last 3 years on this site who report having sex at least every second day. They have plenty of other horny and relatively undiscriminating teenagers and a fair number of horny cougars to keep them getting their fill. They also say that they have younger brothers and sisters who are pretty sexually active. When I was in my teenage years, although I wasn't very well liked, I was a popular piece of action. I was fairly discriminating though and had a rotation of about half a dozen partners. Teenage promiscuity is nothing new.
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In my world sex with the same partner gets better and better. Though other issues like broken trust derail it. I love the comments... pal334's pic: now THAT is a workout hahaha LisaLipgloss: Yay!! Somebody else with the same numbers. I told my ex that "women hit their sexual peak in their 40's" and he told me no, 30's. Though by the feel of things... 40 is right Back to the topic: I do see how Life can mess up a sex life. Kids, jobs, morgages... just the everyday-ness of life can suck out one's energy. But I still believe it can (and does, for me) get better and better. When it comes to sex, me thinks that this site's members are perhaps not typical of the wider population.
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I've also had more sex in the last ten years of my life than the first ten years of adulthood.
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Poor old Roberto - he'll need a nap by the time he's got Anna out of her anti-sex armour!
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Same partner what you have to do is spice it up to keep it going hard and long... and good.. hugs V Great post here spunky... Maybe a FFM or MFM.. that would do it!
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I think it all depends on every aspect of a relationship....if you still love your partner the sex won't be boring....if you're in a rut....forget it!!
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I've never tried tantric sex. But if it involves reading a book while on the job count me in!
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If Sex is boring, you are doing something wrong. I can see it become maybe routine, but boring. My 2 cents anyway.
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Quite right, talking to your partner is always the way forward to spice things up.
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