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Blogs > spunkycumfun > Sexy TIMES

SUCKER FOR A PUN  

spunkycumfun 63M/69F
29519 posts
12/20/2013 11:26 am
SUCKER FOR A PUN


I've just received a mail that read, "I am concerned about your obvious obsession with twerking", which was signed off by R. Swiggler! I love puns. Though corny, I can’t stop laughing when someone starts punning. Here are twenty of my favourite puns:

1. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
2. Did you hear about the man who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was only a soft drink.
3. Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
4. I know a man who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
5. I didn't like my beard at first, but then it grew on me.
6. What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
7. I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.
8. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
9. Velcro - what a rip off!
10. A woman walks into a cocktail bar and asks for a double entendre. The bartender says, “I’ll give you one!”
11. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not sure.
12. Jokes about German sausages are the Wurst.
13. Did you hear about the man whose left side of his body was cut off? He's all right now.
14. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
15. I stayed up all night to see where the sun goes, but then it dawned on me.
16. It's not that the man didn’t know how to juggle; he just didn't have the balls to do it.
17. I couldn't remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
18. Broken pencils are pointless.
19. I tried to catch some fog; I mist.
20. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

Tim Vine, an English stand-up comedian and brother of the television/radio presenter Jeremy Vine, thrives on telling puns for his comedy act. In 2010, he won the award for the best joke at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival – “I've just been on an once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.”

In 2004, Tim Vine broke the Guinness World Record for the most jokes told in one hour – he told 499 jokes, a world record that lasted for nearly eight months until the Australian comedian Anthony Lehmann (better known as Lehmo) told 549 jokes in an hour. For a joke to count towards the Guinness World Record, each joke must provoke laughter from a paying audience.

Do you love puns?
What’s your favourite pun?
Are you good at telling jokes?

pal334 69M  
45821 posts
12/20/2013 11:40 am

 I love jokes and puns, but I am horrible at telling them , I can never get the punch line correct
Please cum visit my blog,,,,,,,,,,,,pal334


lok4fun500 M
51906 posts
12/20/2013 12:19 pm

 Love puns and jokes!
I don't know if I can tell jokes...Never had a paying audience although I can provoke laughter!


openagenda 108M
6275 posts
12/20/2013 10:07 pm

 Mae West was infamous for hers:

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

Mae West


warmandsexy52 71M
13158 posts
12/23/2013 8:02 am

 Great puns!

warm xx


spunkycumfun 63M/69F
41171 posts
12/23/2013 8:46 am

 Thanks, or rather thanks mainly to the internet!


spunkycumfun 63M/69F
41171 posts
12/23/2013 10:45 am
    Quoting pal334:
    I love jokes and puns, but I am horrible at telling them , I can never get the punch line correct
That's always the problem with telling jokes, remembering the punchline!


spunkycumfun 63M/69F
41171 posts
12/23/2013 10:46 am
    Quoting lok4fun500:
    Love puns and jokes!
    I don't know if I can tell jokes...Never had a paying audience although I can provoke laughter!
For my joke-telling, I'd have to pay the audience to laugh!


spunkycumfun 63M/69F
41171 posts
12/23/2013 10:47 am
    Quoting scottv624u:
    Loved these puns! Have a great weekend!
I love a good pun too!


spunkycumfun 63M/69F
41171 posts
12/23/2013 10:48 am
    Quoting AmeliaCox:
    I mostly enjoy accidental puns, where the person who tells it doesn't realise how funny it is until others are rolling on the floor. I have no really good examples just off the top of my head and I have plenty of favourites, even parapsodokians.
    I'm quite good at telling jokes to small groups but a large audience just intimidates me too much to be able to remember punchlines. More than about 8 people and I can't function.
Accidental puns are the best. You can always claim the pun was deliberate afterwards!


spunkycumfun 63M/69F
41171 posts
12/23/2013 10:49 am
    Quoting  :
I can only remember two or three jokes at any given time, none of them particularly funny!


spunkycumfun 63M/69F
41171 posts
12/23/2013 10:50 am
    Quoting openagenda:
    Mae West was infamous for hers:

    I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

    Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.

    I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

    Mae West
Mae West came out with some hilarious lines.


spunkycumfun 63M/69F
41171 posts
12/26/2013 3:11 am
    Quoting  :
Glad you liked them.


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