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Halloween Party
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You had a way better time than I... I've never been to party where all of that stuff happened. Maybe I didn't stay long enough?
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Straight parties are pretty boring, but if you work it right you can go home with someone or more rarely, you can be one of the last few people and get to hang with the hosts. But most people have parties to get to know people better, not to have sex with them. If you go to those parties looking for sex, you would just be a nasty lecherous stooge and I think nobody would invite you back. I have to say, gay people throw much more interesting parties than straight ones. First of all, they're much more hospitable and have great food at hand, and freely flowing booze and drugs. And those f*@king nasty poppers! It seems to be a big part of the gay culture in my experience. At Gary & Chase's place when the marijuana comes out, things are going to get freaky whether there's a party going on or just a few people over for a visit. I personally don't smoke weed though, if anything I might get some contact buzz. I've tried it though, and it just makes me nauseous. I find alcohol a lot more agreeable. Also their parties are the only ones where I've ever seen women tolerated there. Most gay men I know don't have much if anything to do with women except as friends. I find the gay culture very interesting for its sexual promiscuity and openness, and I'm in a sort of satellite member position being that I'm bisexual and have 8-10 casual gay friends. Infidelity in gay couples is rampant but I think when it happens to my friends, they seem to accept and expect it more, being as they are men and understand about the male sex drive. I'm probably being a bit pessimistic about human nature here, but I wouldn't say that infidelity is any higher for gay men than straight ones. And I'm even willing to make a stretch and say that infidelity among women is also quite high, otherwise I wouldn't have been so lucky over the years picking up the slack for some of the women in couples that we knew. It is a fairly simple matter when you know a married woman who complains to you she doesn't get enough sex, that if you tell her how good she looks, give her thoughtful gifts (books especially), and nurture that relationship she will fall into bed with you. She wouldn't open the door by mentioning needing sex if she didn't. When I was married and trying to be discrete, I preferred married women because they truly know how to keep their secrets. If you are friends with a gay couple you will find that most of them like group sex or at least threesomes, and from talking to people this seems to be a symptom of accepting the male sex drive. I know another couple in Danville VA, I went to college with one of them, and after lots of painful infidelity issues (my friend is very attractive and is 8 years younger than his partner so he has no trouble hooking up), his partner started opening up in order to keep him interested. So they have different single or married bi or gay guys over (sometimes it's me), several times a month and play with them. So I tend to find and nurture relationships with people who are keen on group sex, be it straight or bi. There's a lot more of it out there than you think. The only problem is that you can't be terribly picky. The first time I was involved in a group of horned up men, I was way too picky and rejected almost everyone and obviously I wasn't invited back. Through experience I found there are plenty of ways where it's exciting that other people desire you, and it's pretty harmless to let them touch or stroke you, and it's an easy matter to do it in return. I'm pretty circumspect about who I will perform oral sex on, and a bit less picky about receiving it, but oddly when I'm in the mood to be boned I'm a whole lot less picky about who does it, because once they have a condom on and they pass the no visible sores inspection, you just need to pick a guy who is thin enough to do the job without damaging you. Probably that's a bit too much information. I'll move on. With each person you politely draw the line or direct where you are willing to go with them, and I've found they always stop at the line and get what pleasure they can. Some people just disgust me, and it's not usually strictly physical but a sort of clingy stalker desperation on their part, and I am practiced at being as assertive as I need to be to keep them away. I'm not mean to them, they need to grow some style before they can score.
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I forgot to mention that if you want to meet nice straight couples and get invited to their groups if they have any, you should go to a nudist park and chat people up. A large proportion of them are swingers even though sexual activity in the public areas is strictly forbidden. I've been a member of a nearby park for about a decade, and if you're socially adept, you can meet all sorts of interesting people. Again, you might have to stray a little from your comfort zone, but without the risk you don't get the rewards.
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Thanks for the info. I think it's pretty cool how people are willing to give advise, or help to total strangers on this site. I think face to face conversations are a little harder to do this type of thing until you build up a comfort zone. I'm learning it helps to share some of your stuff first, then their stuff come out. I don't have a lot of friends out of work, and have trouble telling my personal stuff to people I see everyday, and who can gossip to everyone else at work. Although, the more stuff I tell, the less I care who knows... It's kind of liberating!
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It is kind of liberating to blog about the stuff you have private in your professional life. I have a bunch of friends like David who don't have a clue about the bi or group stuff. It's always a bit awkward to explain stuff to them during the day. For example, there is one bi sex group that meets every 3 or 4 months in Raleigh during the day, and I have to take a super long lunch. What story do you make up? Like, "Hey guys, I'm coming in at 5am because I'm going to an orgy at lunchtime and I'll be back around 4pm to get the rest of the stuff done." Sometimes I like to make a subtle yet freaky statement so they know I have some depth of weirdness there, but these normal folks don't ever pursue the matter.
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Heh. If they think you're a little weird, you probably COULD tell them where you were going, and they wouldn't believe you! I'm so full of it where I work that they used to not be able to tell when I was joking. Sometimes even now, someone will ask if I'm serious about something. It helps the time go by...
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Hmm, that's so sneaky it just might work. Though I think I won't mention it's a bisexual thing. I think if you don't have fun with your work it will kill you.
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