Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > community > AFF Headquarters |
What is the top complaint of women and couples on the site?
|
What is the top complaint of women and couples on the site? Looking for the female perspective here... Ladies, you are one --if not the most-- valuable elements of our community on this site. So tell me, what is your #1 complaint as a member here? Feel free to list out other issues or frustrations you have in general when using the site, but please make note of what your top concern is. I appreciate your participation here and look forward to learning more about what you think. Thanks! |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
The marketing or advertising department depicts the women here as less than ladies. Your membership numbers depend upon the women who frequent this site. Instead of treating us like sluts, try treating us as goddesses. Look at how popular the Anastasia dating site is and take a lesson or 10. Never ignore those who care for you you will have lost diamonds while you were collecting stones
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
My only real complaint is the way a lot of men talk to me on this site. As stated previously, they seem to be under some impression that we are free hookers and are obligated to screw them automatically because they paid for membership. Maybe provide them some tips on how to send respectful messages when they create their profile? And maybe encourage them not to post only a dozen cock pics and nothing else. Your cock looks the same from all directions and does not catch my interest. I also feel that since the men outnumber women so greatly, why not just offer free gold memberships to ladies to get them to sign on? I greatly appreciate my free gold, but when it expires, I'm not likely to pay to stay. I was perfectly happy as a standard member with popularity privileges, able to view profiles and do just about all but send messages and flirts. Offering free Gold to ladies might help some of the men who have simply given up. They send messages to fake profiles and then become greatly discouraged from receiving no real replies. If ladies are able to just contact them first, I think that would make everyone happy.
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Having been on this site now since 2003, my sentiments are echoed by the previous posters. Back when we joined in 2003 it was much easier to connect with serious people that were on this site looking to actually connect, moreso than just coming on the site looking to gaze at pictures/videos. Of course, back then, Affairlook was still in it's early developmental stages, and as with anything in life, as the years go on, you're going to find yourself with more and more people coming on board, many of whom have no idea as to why they're on here (Co-branding this site as alluded to above certainly hasn't helped one bit). The fact that there are now more fake profiles than ever, is a big issue on this site. In talking with others, it appears that many people on here begin to realize the whole webcam girl scam at an early part of their membership on this site. That there demoralizes many on this site, and as a result, you begin to notice a low quality overall of those on the site. When you are engaging people on here, and they begin to take notice that many profiles on this site aren't really what they say they are, then ultimately guys begin to take the site for more than just a joy ride, not really bothering to read up on profiles, and once they check out pics/vids, leading to less than pleasing introductory messages. It's got to the point for me/us that we had to put on our profile that we simply will not entertain the idea of replying to anyone that only has faceless cock/pussy shots. We take the time to fill out our profile as best we can, and in the process also make sure our pics match the description, and hope that it will engage people that are on the site who are serious about connecting, but more and more that does not appear to be the case. Despite the countless amount of warnings on our profile, we still keep getting a ton of unwanted emails from single guys that can't seem to read and just send cock shots, with their phone numbers, and asking if we're available to meet up that day for a quickie. There is truth to the fact that conversation is becoming a lost art form, especially this day in age with the amount of social media/networking around. While we are thankful for the advances made within the information highway, it too has taken a toll in the sheer amount of people that have access to it, to the point that not only this site, but many others on the internet have become diluted with the types that we'd never entertain in real life, let alone online. That's just my 2 cents. Mrs BlkWhtSwingers
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
#1: The fact that the site promotes female members as free whores. No wonder the men treat us like crap when you constantly promote it as they can "sign up today and get laid tonight". I could also promote "take the bus and get laid tonight". Either one COULD happen, but the chances are extremely slim. It sets up unrealistic expectations on the part of men, and sets females up to treated with zero respect. #2: Standard members should be able to read profiles. From a business point of view, why not set it up that they can view profiles, even if they can't email or flirt... it might entice them to join as paying members. Right now, they can't see the women they are missing out on. 2022... it HAS be better, right?!
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
I agree to the extent that a lot of the male members of the site need long-term education in the social graces. I also agree with the women that making their profiles available through a site called "Fuck Local Sluts," et. al., does nothing to promote the idea that the women who join the site are, or want to be, anything other than receptacles for horny men. . Changing the behavior of these men is a lost cause, but better filtering of fakes and scammers would gt rid of some of them. Also, there ought to be a rule that no penis shots are allowed as a main profile photo. . I also agree with the woman who said that artificially inflating membership numbers with long-inactive accounts is not only misleading, but wastes server space. . In addition, I've heard it said that the site software must have been written using the same techniques used to develop the Obamacare portal...new glitches occur regularly, and what's worse, old glitches that have been fixed show up time and time again when other changes are made. . 
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
10/24/2013 10:34 am |
I am in agreement with some of the other woman on here.STOP pimping us out on all sorts of venues of your choice. Well as you can see your advertising has not worked.." join and get laid tonight" And if they sign in as a standard or not..this is a free brothel and you can fuck any woman you want. I know you can't get men to read profiles but they see a woman and a picture and think. oh there is one I can fuck tonight she is on the sight so she should want to fuc me, after all I have a cock and she has a pussy. Please let us decide what sight we want to me on. Yes I was on adultfriendfinders for a while..It was just advertised towards adults looking for other adults of similar interest and all interests. Since you very distasteful advertising..Yes men are signing up and lining up. only to leave as not getting what they are promised. I did not sign up to be pimped out or fuck any one..just because I am here. And will be leaving as I don't like be be continually insulted and degraded by the sight, and then of course the horny men. But I think the damage has been done..The sight is know by many as just a free hookers sight or a fuck for you sight. Not for adults of all interests. THIS IS NOT A FREE BROTHEL Have a great horny day LUV 
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
My main complaint is that I joined one site only Adult/Friend/Finder....and yet my profile and blog appear on hundreds of sites portraying me to some sort of slut. We should be able to opt out of appearing on the affiliate sites.  My second gripe is that we can no longer opt out of receiving messages by turning off the message box on our profiles. ~~Anais Nin~~
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
I think my top gripe would be that the site continually makes unnecessary 'improvements' which stuff up not only that part of the site but other parts as well. Not only that but it takes you lot so long to rectify all these glitches and major stuff ups. The other thing that annoys me about this site is that when a member emails customer service about an issue the response we get back makes it very clear that either there is no actual person reading the email or that all the staff in customer service are total idiots. I say this because more often than not the response we receive has absolutely nothing to do with our original email. For example someone might email CS to inquire about why a particular photo had been denied and the reply would be clear your browser or delete cookies. Linda
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Women are the most valuable, straight men have all the standard memberships, and gay men keep the place aflot with the most gold memberships and get the most substandard service. Makes sense to me!
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
*A note: just the fact that a few men feel sense of entitlement to respond to a question that wasn't asked of them to tell the women that what they think is wrong should give whomever is looking at this an idea of the attitude a lot of the women are talking about. Anyway...... There is my #1 complaint but I don't know that you can fix it so I'll talk about what can be done to get around it. My number #1 complaint is the useless messages I get in my inbox. The 18 year olds and 60 year olds who try t tell me age doesn't matter The married men The couples The guys who live 100 miles away but insist that it's no problem for them to drive it tonight to see me (for sex of course) The truckers and businessmen who think I'm a stuck up bitch for not meeting them (a perfect stranger) in their hotel for sex) In the past the cupid settings could be filtered more finely and we had the ability to have any mail that didn't match ou cupid settings to get dumped in a special folder. All of those emails I listed above would have gone into that folder and I would get around to it when I get around to it.Now i all gets dumped into my inbox and I have to go through them all. The problem I see though , is that you are selling access and if you give us back the ability to screen out the chaff in our message center, that will cut off access for a lot of men so I don't know what you'll do there.
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
I first came to this site, about 11 years ago. Women have ALWAYS complained that we do not appreciate being advertised as free fuck-tonight whores. This site advertises to men that they will get laid the night that they sign up, by willing sluts. They come on the site, they treat us exactly the way that you tell them they can treat us. They are rejected. Then they are hostile and rude. You establish the environment, they behave accordingly. And it isn't just these "affiliate sites" that are at fault - and those are a WHOLE SEPARATE COMPLAINT. It's Affairlook advertising itself. [image] By the way, when I ran the search for Affairlook ads - I came up with photos of TONS of members. People I recognize and could tell you their handles. THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE!!! 
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
 "No FullOn, don't do it" "Yes, FullOn, yes. Do it, you know you want to!" "No FullOn, it would be wrong. It's not her fault. Don't mock the afflicted" "Do it, FullOn. How can you resist that which you desire?"Oh, alright then... "Spam blogging" ?  I know I'm just a man, not a valuable element. (Really ladies, nobody objected to that? Nobody wondered at the attitude of ARF thinking you are "valuable" to them?). I know I wasn't invited to comment and my opinion is worthless... But I've read the comments and I'm pretty sure that the women who think "spam blogging" is the most serious threat to civilization as we know it are in a distinct minority!
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Aryana, I was outright attacked for posting information that is being posted by almost every woman so far. NO, not all women see it, but most do. The fact that men act like they are somehow 'owed' sex by us because you, the site, promised it to them, is just beyond appalling. We get messages that are so below the bottom of the ocean's own bottom that you wonder how do these men even function in a day??? SERIOULSY... there are beer commercials that if you drink THAT beer the Swedish Bikini Team parachutes out of the air instantly, or the OTHER beer that if you open it then it starts to snow indoors!!! They are ADS and we all know that, so there are no men disappointed that there is no bikini team, they have a brain. HOWEVER....and that is a large however... when it comes to sex men CHOOSE to believe THAT ad as it is what they WANT to happen i.e. a place full of hot women that f*ck any guy no matter how ugly, disgusting, smelly, illiterate, and ignorant he is we will just run to service him with no questions. I participated in an online magazine article for the site way back and a man even then said that there is no such place and that this site is basically a fantasy. What makes it worse is that you now advertise even worse and they come here thinking we are Stretch Armstrong dolls and want to shove every disgusting item then can find inside our vaginas and have all their buddies do us with them and of course get to f*ck all our friends too. Their vulgar emails show it. NO ONE would say that to anyone in person, or at least I HOPE NOT, as they would get slapped instantly. This site doesn't care, they let them do it and promote it. . I for one did NOT get a gold membership to be called a slut, whore, tramp, c*nt, b*tch, or anything else because I REFUSE to service you as you THINK the site said you would get. I have seen with my own eyes in the chatrooms, in blogs, in articles, and in emails the constant overtone of men thinking ** this is a SEX site b*tch ** and we are not supposed to have to talk or interact at all as if this is a sluts-r-us drive through. SORRY!!!! I am sure they wouldn't want anyone in their family treated that way, and just because a woman likes or wants sex does not mean she is not deserving of RESPECT. . I know of a few men on here that specifically state that ** We (women) know what the site is and if not we learn quickly after singing up. If we are so disgusted then leave. By staying you are okaying it. ** Ummm...WRONG!!! On all counts that is so wrong. If you truly want the women to leave that don't like it you will be left with pretty much the fake profiles, a few hoookers, and the rest would be men. More men are willing to screw anything with a hole that lets them than women and they get p*ssed when they don't get that on here when a woman says 'I wanna get to know you'. The idea of NSA (no strings attached) has been seen as NSA (never see again) and we know it. Men thinking NSA means I don't have to talk to you, take you to dinner, or any contact prior to letting me stick my dick in you and get myself off is rampant on here. I KNOW NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE THAT!!!! THANK GOODNESS!!! Unfortunately there are more of those on this site with the ads of "get free sex instantly" on here than one cares to know. . I am sorry for this to be so long, truly I am, but I just can't help but say it along with the others and repeat that I did not sign up to send 'no thank you' messages for hours on end to men that didn't match ANYTHING "I" wanted at all. This site is not about MEN getting what they want, it should be about PEOPLE having a good time. Some of the best blogs on how to behave on here are written by MEN... yes MEN. The good men suffer from the a**holes that log in thinking this is a whorehouse warehouse. They get frustrated as they didn't get their free instant p*ssy then fill the blogs and chat convos with 'this place sucks, no one here wants to f*ck' because that is what they think it is. COMMON SENSE should say it is an AD like the beer commercial, but with the photos and the fakes and all the rest, they fall for it and the entire site pays for it. First contact should not be a dick shoved in your face and 'wanna f*ck' for the only words. Quasimodo had a dick and women are usually not blind to everything once they see a dick.
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
PLEASE.. do not leave or have anything deleted. I for one appreciated your input. Although I disagree with having people vote on anything on another person as it DOES get abused, it is just wrong, you did have a positive attitude towards minimizing the problem. It is a difficult thing to get so many men to think that they have to be polite to what they perceive as whores/sluts, but they need to realize women that like sex are not whores/sluts. The site NEEDS to stop saying we are whores/sluts. . As for your idea of do nothing and let them show their colors, I again repeat, I didn't sign up to answer no thank you only to get slammed and insulted by men who, had they READ the profile, would have known they had no chance in the first place. Then we get repeat messages that get consecutively worse as they don't get answered. I don't have a secretary to answer the myriad of emails I get. Men don't get the messages we get so they have no clue they are in the midst of some 100 emails or more to some women. I have blogs that show the types of emails we get at Rdy's Info Blogs to show what we get and what you are up against. Many have no clue. Some even think we 'owe' them a no thank you even if they ignored the entire profile and they know it. I DO outline some of the BEST messages as well. NOT ALL MEN are horrible here... please.. do not stop posting.
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
BeatriceBenedict, I agree with much of what you say and want to state that I was personally told about a year ago when I made comments about the way men approach women on this site and gave examples and ideas on what to say and do to show them different ways to contact us that it was, and I quote, "a sermon" and a turn off. I was attacked because I had a friend that had an Ice Breaker that gave ideas on how the site worked and all and right out of the gate I was attacked because one of the blogs listed started with the lines "Welcome to the site, a must read for newbies". A man responded angrily with "Why did you send me this? I didn't contact you." I still stand by the opening line of Welcome to the Site should have said much to this ignorant person, but I was told that it was wrong and again it sounded like a sermon. I find it vastly interested that anyone TRYING to help and give some HELPFUL advice that if it ventures away from "this is a sex site b*tch" and the demand for instant sex that it is considered a sermon and WE as women are told if we don't like it then to leave the site. I was called a man hater because I said I didn't like the way men did this and totally was yanked out and dragged across the floor by my virtual hair for simply stating that I found that it was a great idea for someone to give helpful advice in their Ice Breaker. H*ll, I was even told that calling a member a newbie was insulting now. In regards to not posting a dick pic, I was told that those men MAY find what they want and it is not my place or anyone else's to suggest different. I was told that to approach anyone with this advice was NOT being interested in HIM, but rather interested in poking their nose into his business, telling him how to approach and act toward women, not toward you, because you don't want him to approach you at all, but EVERY single OTHER woman on the site. . I found it vastly interesting as this is only the tip of how I was raked over the coals, that it was MY fault or OUR fault as women that somehow because we were on this site that we should sit back, shut up, and do as we are told or leave. We should expect this and do nothing as that IS the way it IS just like you said and no one should ever try to change it. I am sorry, just as I said then I will repeat now. If no one ever spoke up about sl*very, then it would still be an institution. If no one ever speaks up then change NEVER comes. I may like sex and want it. Many women may like sex and want it. NO ONE deserves to be treated like less than a human because of that nor should they be expected to have sex with anyone and everyone be they married/not married, in state/out of state, old/young, fat/skinny, ANYTHING. . I am constantly told that by having settings that weed out or stop someone from being able to contact me that "I" am somehow the problem. That man, regardless of who he is, WANTS to contact me and I should let him do so or HE gets discouraged and will not be happy. TOUGH F*CKING CHIT!!!! I am not here to entertain anyone, screw anyone I don't want to or like, nor have to send a polite reply to anyone that just ignored my entire profile because he is so ignorant that he thinks this is an online whorehouse. I was told to blame the site not the men. I BLAME BOTH!! The site makes the ads, many men do not act that way. Many MORE men DO and it isn't just because the site says 'get laid in 24 hours'. That is something inherently wrong with them and as you stated our society. The idea of 'hooking up' and 'NSA' now seems to be the way people interact and the art of talking and socializing is getting lost in the 'I want it now f*ck you' attitude that permeates everything. What someone else wants should NEVER override what someone else wants... EVER!!! . I had ideas on how to cut down some things. Make a set of options for "A - accept all flirts/winks; B - accept only flirts/winks that match my Cupid settings; C - don't accept any flirts/winks". It went over great, till I was told I was being unsociable and should not stop anyone from contacting me. IF I DON'T WANT TO SCREW A MARRIED MAN THEN I SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECLINE THEM CONTACTING ME!! It only, in my opinion, makes the frustration and rejections to them worse. They are setting themselves up for that rejection and if they didn't have the ability to contact me at all then they would NOT be rejected now would they? I so hate reading profiles claiming we are rude and horrible and disrespectful if we can't reply to ALL our emails and politely say no. Again, F*ck that!! I shouldn't have to tell the guy from 2000 miles away that is married that my profile is clear and I regret to inform you that I will not be f*cking you on any night as politely as "I" can be so "HE" doesn't get his feelings hurt. Usually they reply with now I am no longer the hottie that he would die for and go miles and miles to please and treat like a queen to I am a fat, ugly b*tch, a whore that is just leading men on, and a c*nt like myself should get off the site. . This is an Adult SOCIAL network, not a whorehouse. There are blogs, articles, groups and things here as well as people just doing chat, exhibitionism and voyeurism, and just about anything sexual that is NOT just meeting someone for sex be it instantly, one time, or long term. I am so sick of "this is a sex site b*tch" and being told to get off the site if I am not going to run to service HIM (whoever he is). Yes, there are unsolicited HATE emails sent by men to women on here that have any type of a profile that eliminates them from being able to f*ck her. Sad and pathetic... it is totally on the men for that behavior, NOT the site. They hit send, they chose to write it. The site can have any ad they like, but in the end it is that person that chooses to write vitriol and send it. I think people should take responsibility for themselves not just pass the blame on to others.
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
In my case it's the messages. Which are not mails anymore. Furthermore it's too easy to send messages, WITHOUT READING THE PROFILE. As the site refuses to make changes to the current message center (= no real folders, no real filters etc), and the advertising is what is, at least make it possible to send a message ONLY through the profile page! This way some chance people might see what I'm looking for. And what I'm not. Most of us are normal, real women, not hookers, not waiting for all the guys to contact us. Just the matching ones. And yes: add the marital status among the most important preferences. This is often the most important factor. Only universal or also in Scotland Where to start my day or is it month Of course I39ll change I39ll do whatever you like Heatseeking missiles  Squirter's life
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
"No FullOn, don't do it" "Yes, FullOn, yes. Do it, you know you want to!" "No FullOn, it would be wrong. It's not her fault. Don't mock the afflicted" "Do it, FullOn. How can you resist that which you desire?"Oh, alright then... "Spam blogging" ? I know I'm just a man, not a valuable element. (Really ladies, nobody objected to that? Nobody wondered at the attitude of ARF thinking you are "valuable" to them?). I know I wasn't invited to comment and my opinion is worthless... But I've read the comments and I'm pretty sure that the women who think "spam blogging" is the most serious threat to civilization as we know it are in a distinct minority! Some only for blogging. For different reasons  Only universal or also in Scotland Where to start my day or is it month Of course I39ll change I39ll do whatever you like Heatseeking missiles Squirter's life
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
BeatriceBenedict, HOW FUNNY that it is the same person saying that to you as well. The self proclaimed 'men get what they want and women just go with it or leave' guy, it doesn't surprise me. YES, I don't blame everyone on one place or person, but the posting of "get laid tonight in 24 hours" after you sign up and seeing all the dick shots, porn, and no faces now coupled with all the ads and crap from Penthouse on here they think that it is acceptable. No, it is not acceptable. I believe whole heartedly that we should be able to control our content of what we receive and see on here should be more in our hands rather than be told that the site wants us to interact more. Well, I will interact.... with whom "I" want to, not who the site says I have to. Even if you are here for just straight up sex one should have some modicum of class and respect and send something more polite than 'wanna f*ck' and a photo taken so close you can see their bladder down the urethra of their dick that is purple from them choking it in an attempt to make it look larger because after all we are women and we only see larger dicks. NO, we avoid larger dicks!! (get the pun there) If I wanted to go out and meet a dick, an a**Hole, or a boob I don't need to be here to do that. They are everywhere. The internet has such potential to connect people yet it seems as you said no matter the venue if you are a woman on the internet using a site you are a whore/slut and not worthy of respect. That mentalitly NEEDS to change as well as the idea that if a woman likes or wants sex she is somehow less in deserving of respect. Guys, if you want to get laid do NOT INSULT US with this type of behavior. It won't get you anywhere and it only makes us less likely to meet the good ones because you ruin it for them. This morning again I had an invite to network even though my profile says clearly I don't want one. HIS profile clearly states he doesn't want any men i.e. "LADIES ONLY!! I am not into men sorry." Ummm.. I wrote him and said, seriously, "if you want YOUR profile respected then freaking RESPECT OTHERS!!" I just don't get how or why so many people think their preferences over ride anothers and that this is a 'sex site' and you are here ONLY to f*ck.. if not.. get out. SORRY.. it is not an online whorehouse. Even if I was here looking for sex we ALL have the right to say NO and not be obligated to meet and/or especially f*ck anyone!!!! Getting bent out of shape because you can't have THAT girl is only childish and totally pathetic when you lash out and insult them for it.
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
I am going to make a note here because I can already see it on the horizon. Once women started complaining about the cock shots, the men started blasting back with 'but women have gyno shots too". YES! That is correct, many do. Many of us do not. I totally understand that men are more visually driven than women for the most part, but the idea that because you want to see our boobs we must reciprocate and want to see your penis is NOT always true!! Most of the time it is not. I know the comment of 'if you have THAT as a photo what did you expect" is going to land as well. To a point I agree, but I also think that you get ONE FIRST CHANCE... and if you ruin that then you are done. So THINK before you hit SEND as just because a photo of a woman is something that doesn't mean you become the most vulgar guy on the planet and expect her to want you for it. Being sexual and having sexuality and just blunt blatant crude are two different things.
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Ms BeatriceBenedict made some excellent points, particularly putting the problems of this site in the wider context of society in general. However this site is complicit in those problems... Just follow the money. We have to remember that the purpose of this site is not to meet our ideas of what we want from it (and in particular it has nothing to do with meeting like-minded people). It is all about making money for Various. That's why Aryana calls women "valuable elements". The presence of women on this site (regardless of the "get laid tonight" ads) is why men join. Without men paying for membership there is no site. And women are used (via Icebreakers for instance) to encourage men to pay for membership. It's the same old story when it comes to sex: women are exploited for their earning potential. I fully understand women's objections to the way A.F.F advertises itself, and I fully understand their concerns about the sister sites - I share those concerns because I'd never join "Fuck a Slut" and I don't particularly want to be associated with men (and women) who would. It's obvious that when people enter the site through different doorways they will have a different attitude to what the site is all about. What surprises me is the lack of complaints about the content of the site itself - not the way it portrays itself, or the people it attracts, but what it's selling. We are all members of a site that "employs" (I have no idea what their contractual arrangements might be) an army of sex workers - the "pay to chat with a real life model" women. Now I don't want to argue over the moral aspects of being a sex worker, or the financial benefits, or even the "empowering" nature of being paid to show your bits on a cam, but I do think there is a question about the atmosphere that is created by the site selling these women. It doesn't even matter how much revenue A.F.F gets from these sex workers, it is the fact that they are part of an "adult dating" site when really they have no place there and should be on a "cyber prostitution" site. I believe that "pay to chat with real life models" is plain, simple objectification and perpetuates the economic domination of women - "I've paid twenty dollars, now wank yourself off". Is that really the caring attitude of a site who wants to look after its "valuable elements"? This is only one aspect of the site that contributes to an overall atmosphere. Now I'm not a prude, and I'm not a sensitive flower either. I can choose to ignore the close up photos of genitalia without getting too upset by them. I can choose to ignore the stupid, rude, crass, unthoughtful behaviour of people on this site without it worrying me too much. I can choose to ignore the less savoury aspects of sexual behaviour (as I see it) without judging others for their preferences. However, while I have been on this site it has ceased to become an adult dating site and has morphed into a site that is only interested in selling sex products to frustrated men. Maybe it is naive to expect otherwise. After all, none of these complaints is new (with the exception of the atrocity that is spam blogging); nobody has come up with anything that hasn't been said many times before. And yet nothing has been done to achieve the idea of a more "female friendly" site. P.S. Given the massive imbalance between the numbers of men and women already on this site, just why does it advertise exclusively to men?
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
I am going to make a note here because I can already see it on the horizon. Once women started complaining about the cock shots, the men started blasting back with 'but women have gyno shots too". YES! That is correct, many do. Many of us do not. I totally understand that men are more visually driven than women for the most part, but the idea that because you want to see our boobs we must reciprocate and want to see your penis is NOT always true!! Most of the time it is not. I know the comment of 'if you have THAT as a photo what did you expect" is going to land as well. To a point I agree, but I also think that you get ONE FIRST CHANCE... and if you ruin that then you are done. So THINK before you hit SEND as just because a photo of a woman is something that doesn't mean you become the most vulgar guy on the planet and expect her to want you for it. Being sexual and having sexuality and just blunt blatant crude are two different things. Or tell you to use the photo filter - job done! You cannot tell people how to behave without them telling you how you should behave. And I doubt very much that it's possible to "educate" people on this site, after all, who should decide how other people should behave? It is impossible to generalize - some women insist on cock shots, some men are not "more visually driven than women". But... if men whose emails consist of "wanna fuck" never get responses from women who don't like that approach; if men who send cock shots to women who don't like them never get laid; if men who are abusive get blocked (and banned)... then maybe those men will learn to adopt a more different strategy. And some of the points raised here would help while this process takes place - better email filtering for one. However I'm not sure that anyone can tell people how they should behave.
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
If you tell men not to have cock shots then they will point out that women post gyno shots - of course they will! Or tell you to use the photo filter - job done! You cannot tell people how to behave without them telling you how you should behave. And I doubt very much that it's possible to "educate" people on this site, after all, who should decide how other people should behave? It is impossible to generalize - some women insist on cock shots, some men are not "more visually driven than women". But... if men whose emails consist of "wanna fuck" never get responses from women who don't like that approach; if men who send cock shots to women who don't like them never get laid; if men who are abusive get blocked (and banned)... then maybe those men will learn to adopt a more different strategy. And some of the points raised here would help while this process takes place - better email filtering for one. However I'm not sure that anyone can tell people how they should behave. . I most definitely think that helping us with filtering out who can contact us i.e. married/no married/out of state/in state/too old or young can no longer email you if you set that as your cupid settings, is a GREAT step in the right direction. For the record, many men post dick shots because they see so many OTHER men doing it. If everyone was jumping off a bridge and killing themselves would you do it to?? I am betting not.
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
And this is a PERFECT example of what me and Beatrice are talking about. I NEVER said "ALL MEN" or "ALL WOMEN" nor did I say "TELL THEM" not to post cock shots. I specifically said many or most or for the most part in my sentences i.e. men are more visual than women for the most part. The only people I know that slam back with how WE should behave has been in my experience only those that had their behavior questioned and were too ignorant to take it as constructive criticism and use it as a learning tool. They would rather state that they have the RIGHT to shove their dicks in our faces and if we don't like it tough crap. Not everything is a "sermon", but it is helpful ADVICE. I was clear that yes SOME women DO like those photos, MANY do not. You may doubt it is possible to 'educate' anyone on this site, but that doesn't mean you look the other way and let it keep getting worse. WE DO have the right to say you will behave with respect when dealing with us. If you do not have that respect then we will not deal with you at all. If you had an inbox full of nothing but what you did NOT want you would quickly leave the site as many do. As a woman it is not attractive and gets old quickly to keep seeing 'wanna f*ck' and a dick shot and nothing else. No one learns to adapt or change their tactics unless someone TELLS THEM what it is that they are doing wrong. You can't fix something unless someone TELLS YOU that it is broken. Trust me, you CAN get kicked out of a bordello, and the behavior that is wrong there should also be wrong here. Ignorance is not an excuse. . I most definitely think that helping us with filtering out who can contact us i.e. married/no married/out of state/in state/too old or young can no longer email you if you set that as your cupid settings, is a GREAT step in the right direction. For the record, many men post dick shots because they see so many OTHER men doing it. If everyone was jumping off a bridge and killing themselves would you do it to?? I am betting not. Really? For the record, how on earth do you know that? How many men's profiles do you think that men look at before deciding to post a cock shot? Cock shots and photos of gaping vaginas shouldn't be an issue any more. They are a red herring - if you don't like them then use the filter. Take responsibility, don't let them "shove their cocks" in your face. That's an example of precisely how the site should work - filtering out those aspects that you don't want to see, based on your preferences. "If you do not have that respect then we will not deal with you at all." Well "we" is a generalization, but I think that we can all agree with "treat me with respect or I will not deal with you at all". And the point is that it is your idea of what is respectful that determines whether you will reply. An approach that you find disrespectful might be just what another woman wants to hear! But by ignoring them you do tell them that their behaviour is not appropriate for you.
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
"For the record, many men post dick shots because they see so many OTHER men doing it." Really? For the record, how on earth do you know that? How many men's profiles do you think that men look at before deciding to post a cock shot? Cock shots and photos of gaping vaginas shouldn't be an issue any more. They are a red herring - if you don't like them then use the filter. Take responsibility, don't let them "shove their cocks" in your face. That's an example of precisely how the site should work - filtering out those aspects that you don't want to see, based on your preferences. "If you do not have that respect then we will not deal with you at all." Well "we" is a generalization, but I think that we can all agree with "treat me with respect or I will not deal with you at all". And the point is that it is your idea of what is respectful that determines whether you will reply. An approach that you find disrespectful might be just what another woman wants to hear! But by ignoring them you do tell them that their behaviour is not appropriate for you.
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
As with the majority, it seems, I think it's ridiculous to make viewing each others profiles a paid option only. Email contact, watching multiple webcams, viewing larger pics - those are all logical upgrade options. I very much like the suggestion of having the contact made directly through the profile thereby increasing the chance they actually read the profile. I also would like my email filtering back, please. When it comes to marketing, again I'm with the majority. Stop advertising the women on here as sluts, suggesting (directly and indirectly) we'll fuck anyone who asks or even offers to pay (yes, it happens a lot). Thanks for asking, hopefully we'll see some improvements from the consistent responses noted by your members, both male and female.
|
Become a member to create a blog
