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Friendship
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Friendship At what point do you call someone a friend in the lifestyle? Personally for me I do once you start calling/texting each other to see if you want to go for dinner, shopping, coffee or just to see how they are doing. It doesn't always entail getting together to "play". When something happens in a group of friends and you know someone is having a hard time you call/text them see how they are doing, help them get past the unpleasantness of what is going on and let them know you are there for them. Several months ago I had something happen that really bothered me and I confronted the person/persons and told them how I felt and told them I felt they were out of line and that what they said and did was hurtful to myself and my boyfriend. So esentially I stood up to them and since that time we have been ostricized from all activities and yet those two people are still very much involved in everything...Odd isnt it how the ones responsible are still "ok" to be around? But the one's hurt in it all are not. I will also say that the last several months have been very busy with work and travelling, vanilla world functions but through that I still would text/email/call certain "friends" to see how they were doing, they would talk be polite. But out of a large group of friends there were only 5 key people that continued to be what I call "friends". They get invites to parties, dinners etc and keep it very quiet since they know we are not invited and they do not want to hurt us. Sad isnt it that you stand up for yourself and get ostricized. Blushin |
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8/30/2009 6:07 pm |
Friend's are close ......Acquaintances pass like a sickness ! I see the Good in Everything ......Till I am shown different. People will talk & smile .....but conversation's become shallow. The Very atmosphere changes upon entering a Chat room . The ]-[US]-[ and the " Unspoken Word" ....yet tension remains. Even snake's alway's ssssssssmmmmmiiiiLLLLLeeeeeeeeee. If it Hurt's you .....it hurt's Your True Friend's I am known as a " //\//\aD/\\/\\a/\/ " in a certain chat-room. I Stand My Ground. If any ill befall these character's....... ...then they can Blame me . I Bless them for it . May they Reap 10 Fold what they have sown. I am NOT religious in the least ! I Stand against that too ! **H*u*N***N*** ......Stay Who You are ! You Did No Wrong! Others will come to that Realization, and See for themselves. Be True to You , and Your Labours will come to Fruitation. Trust is never given, taken , or sold......but Earned ! tY********H*u*N***N*** I BLeSS You 
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8/31/2009 12:43 am |
Hey Blushing...welcome to the club  now you know how I felt last year when all the shit(gossip) was flying about me and a few friends of mine and how everyone took sides believing who they wanted to and the shit fell on me(and them) and they(the people causing the shit to fly) ended up being invited and accepted to a lot of functions and private parties after that, the other friends that took my side were ostracized right along with me from further functions(and are still excluded to this day a year later)... it's not fun I can tell you... it's times like these when you do find out who your real friends are...and like you, I too, found out pretty fast who were my true friends...for me...getting together with friends is almost always for vanilla reasons... rarely for sex...like you, for most of my friendships It doesn't always entail getting together to "play"... which is a good thing because it shows that the friendship is based on truly liking the person(s) and not just the sex...lol.. They get invites to parties, dinners etc and keep it very quiet since they know we are not invited and they do not want to hurt us. Boy is this ever true...and to have someone tell you to your face that your not ostracized and that there are/have been no activities happening is an insult to my intelligence...I feel bad for you as a couple because it's harder on you guys...as there really is no excuse to give for not inviting ...as for me... they just say it was a party for couples only and no singles are invited to justify this behavior... as if I couldn't find a date to bring with me...lol... anyhow... I wish you luck...keep your chin up...and be true to yourself and your real friends... I just wanted you to know I sympathize...take care xxx
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Aw, hugs + kisses to you...and no need to thank us for anything. But we will take butter tarts! If we had our entire circle of friends over every time we had a party...we would likely be getting visits from the fire marshall about overcrowding the casa and traumatizing the neighbours.... So we have had to edit the invite list once in a while...its a hard thing to exclude someone...hopefully, you can put them at the top of the list next time...but I don't think that's the issue with you, Blushin... Part of the reason we have pulled back from functions and groups on Affairlook lately is the continued drama, the high school attitudes (if you hang with that person/persons, i wont hang with you) type of thing...its just ridiculous. Being mature adults (well....most of us), you would think that people would move on...but it doesn't look like that happens... Welcome to Capital Hills 90210.  We have had "words" with folks in the past, and we avoided confrontation with them for a while. We never asked or expected other friends to choose sides... But it got to the point that we said "hey, whats done...but why are we hiding our head in the sand?" We got back out there...were civil and friendly, (or at least tried to be...it was not always reciprocated..) and moved on. Everyone makes a choice ...fester or fly .... fight or flight... live or let live... you live and learn... you hope... Shit happens to everyone...we can literally and figuratively "rub" people the wrong way.... and be on the outs with a group of friends for a bit... but golly gee...one would hope.... as we do that our "friends" would want to spend time with us more than they want to avoid someone they didn't, and at least make an effort. I was truly hurt by somebody saying to me (not so subtly) that "if so and so is going...I'm not going..." and they didn't. It was their loss, not ours. Have you ever read The Sneeches...by the famous ditropan-free Dr Suess? "Now, the Star-Belly Sneetches had bellies with stars. The Plain-Belly Sneetches had none upon thars. Those stars weren't so big. They were really so small. You might think such a thing wouldn't matter at all. But, because they had stars, all the Star-Belly Sneetches Would brag, "We're the best kind of Sneetch on the beaches." With their snoots in the air, they would sniff and they'd snort "We'll have nothing to do with the Plain-Belly sort!" And, whenever they met some, when they were out walking, They'd hike right on past them without even talking. When the Star-Belly children went out to play ball, Could a Plain Belly get in the game? Not at all. You only could play if your bellies had stars And the Plain-Belly children had none upon thars. When the Star Belly Sneetches had frankfurter roasts Or picnics or parties or marshmallow toasts, They never invited the Plain-Belly Sneetches They left them out cold, in the dark of the beaches. They kept them away. Never let them come near. And that's how they treated them year after year." The story goes on...how the starless Sneeches went thru a machine to get stars on their bellies...so that everyone was the same again...then the Sneeches who had the star bellies went thru the machine backwards to take their stars off-and the only person that benefited in the end was the dude that got paid every time a Sneech went thru the machine. Ok...there was a point to me telling this story...but i forgot what it was... Anyway.... you need to audit that list of friends...if there is anyone on that list that you truly believe was your friend in the first place...call them up and invite them to Timmy's, if they take the time to join you.... have a good heart to heart. If they don't...move on! Don't make yourself the victim! ...and have your own party!!! (on my weekend off, of course...) D {=} Fun!!...that's what its all about, right?? 
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10/27/2009 9:33 pm |
That sucks! Did they even recognize that they hurt you? That should be the least they could have done.
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Knightrider they know and they dont care. Their lose  I have now surrounded myself with people I KNOW care and will be there when the going gets tough.Blushin
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10/28/2009 5:12 pm |
Bunch of jerks!! Good riddance to them.
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11/11/2009 9:28 am |
All things happen for a reason .. sounds like you are in a much better place now and know the people who are important in your life .. I have this on my blog, so you may have seen it, but thought it is worth repeating... People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person and how to live in that moment. When someone is in your life for a REASON. . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on. Then people come into your life for a SEASON. Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
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FunInKanata very well said and ty gives me something to think about. R Blushin
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8/1/2010 1:02 pm |
wish i had of read this before talking to you, those people realy need to learn a lesson on why you should go out of your way to not hurt someone mentaly or phyically. its just wrong. i am glad to know you had a few good friends who stood by you.
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Shows how valuable your friendship was to them. On the other hand, it also shows what a lack of respect they had for you, your BF, and the true friends that stuck by you. Aquaintances like that you don`t need. Shed their glamour routines, move on, and so much the better for you. I am certain that you have overcome this by now & have many new & valued friends who in turn value you greatly. I don`t flatter those types of egoes either. Anyone that I count as a friend remains just that, with a great value placed on their friendship. All the best to you, and friendship offered.
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2/12/2011 8:24 am |
My comments would be pretty much the same as the rest, glad to see you're the stronger one, hats off to you. Save a horse............
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