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| Blogs > rm_talldarkavg1 > AFF #1 Source for Useless Info |
New Sexual Inventions Could Be Coming
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New Sexual Inventions Could Be Coming Back on June 23, 2005 I wrote to you about the latest TallCo inventions. Reference Inventions You CAN NOT Live Without if you give a crap. I mentioned pine-scented helium breast implants, self-propelled suppositories, and other much needed items. Right after this post, TallCo® stock skyrocketed. It is time to not only let the company go public...but to announce next year's lineup of NEW INVENTIONS! Here we go, our Top 20 Invention maybe's for 2009. 1. Voice boxes with an accent. This way Steven Hawking and others can fool their friends when answering the phone. Or pass themselves off as European. Long overdue if you ask me. 2. A remote controlled remote control finder. Who can find that remote when you need it? I know I can't. This device will be on every male's wish list this Holiday Season! 3. The alcohol patch. Trying to cut back on your drinking? Here's your answer. Maybe you just need a quick buzz to get you through a lengthy DUI hearing...we've got you covered. 4. Talking car horn. Beep beep just doesn't work anymore. Our model is programmed with specific phrases from the factory in a human voice: "Hey Baby, I can't afford a Mr. Microphone." "Learn how to drive wanker. What are you...French?" "Excuse me I was parking there." "Get a ." "Cop ahead." "Honey I'm home, get everyone out of the bedroom." 5.Urinal auto-shaker. Talk about hands-free operation! Available in 2 models...female or male robot hands. 6. Large print alphabet soup. Great for old folks like me. Hey...we need to spell stuff too! 7. Solar powered flashlight. I know, you think this sounds stupid. Well partner...combine this handy item with our glow in the dark sunglasses and you'll never buy batteries again! One recharges the other. And you thought this was stupid. 8. Cat wax. Just something about a kitty that says wax me. 9. Vitamin and mineral fortified flavored pencils and pen caps. If you're gonna chew...get some nutrition and fulfillment! 10. Spring-loaded toilet seat. This one will sell like hot cakes. The seat stays in the down position until you pee on it. Then whammo...it pops up. She'll never complain again because when you're done...it returns to the down position. Available with the optional Urine Gutter. 11. Battery powered battery charger. Need to recharge batteries but the storm took out the power? No worries ever again! 12. Curved baseboard heaters. Ever wonder how to install baseboard heat in your igloo? We have! 13. Decaffeinated coffee table. Available in round and oval. No self-respecting yuppie should be without this sucker! 14. Handbag made from foreskin. Now, talk about fashionable! The kicker...if you stroke the purse...it turns into a suitcase! Hawaii here I cum. 15. Alcohol-flavored medicinal alcohol. We all know loads of medicines have alcohol in them, time to enhance the experience we say. Peppermint Schapps flavored Pepto Bismol. Malt liquor flavored mouth wash. The list goes on and on people. 16. Vibrating ketchup bottles. Never shake that pesky bottle again. It's done for you. Buy 2 and we throw in a FREE pint of ketchup thinner. Don't use ketchup? Toss 'em in your underwear! 17. Fake rhinestones. That's right...on a tight budget but have champaigne taste? TallCO® has you covered. These gems look remarkably like REAL rhinestones. 18. Dehydrated water. Stuck on the road and thirsty? Just add water and voila...you have water! 19. Our NEW education series books...Learn To Read. Yes sir! All the tools and tricks the pro's use are revealed in this 300 page book geared at getting you reading in no time. 20. Black highliters. Need to highlite something you really don't care about? Here's your solution partner.  [blog talldarkavg1] |
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Decaffinated coffee table, huh? I would have thought that yuppies would prefer cappaccino or espresso coffee tables  As for that remote controlled remote control finder, can I order one? Swallow's constantly losing my remote, granted he say's he hides it. I can just see the alcohol patch going over real well. "No offcer, I han't had antin ta drink! I no dumb 'nuf ta drink an drive, uh uh, not me, no way, I'm on da patch!  "  Blessed Be
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I'm still waiting for the Glass fly Swatters, people could buy them by the gross. Of course limited lifetime warranty would have to apply. As always Swallow
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11/12/2008 6:07 am |
Loving the list and I agree with everyone here - K you need to take your meds NOT just look at them in the bottle. BTW you can actually get a solar powered flashlight  Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
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Let me know how much that initial stock offering is I might be in for a big investment there. but until then, I really need the following .. can you ship UPS Next Day? 2- #2 12- #3 (if it works I might reorder a gross) 2- #4 2pair- #5...dont ask! 1- #6 already have #7 1- #14 no comment ......I know you have operators standing byjust one other request, could this please be delivered in a plain brown wrapper.  be well you crazy wonderful man tender hugs...m.
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How many black highlighters can I order? And, folks, he ON his medication. Peace and love is where it's at.
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Thank you, but I can think of a couple things better. [blog talldarkavg1]
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 after reading you...I'm firing my writers![blog talldarkavg1]
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Decaffinated coffee table, huh? I would have thought that yuppies would prefer cappaccino or espresso coffee tables As for that remote controlled remote control finder, can I order one? Swallow's constantly losing my remote, granted he say's he hides it. I can just see the alcohol patch going over real well. "No offcer, I han't had antin ta drink! I no dumb 'nuf ta drink an drive, uh uh, not me, no way, I'm on da patch! "[blog talldarkavg1]
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I'm still waiting for the Glass fly Swatters, people could buy them by the gross. Of course limited lifetime warranty would have to apply. [blog talldarkavg1]
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Loving the list and I agree with everyone here - K you need to take your meds NOT just look at them in the bottle. BTW you can actually get a solar powered flashlight [blog talldarkavg1]
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Let me know how much that initial stock offering is I might be in for a big investment there. but until then, I really need the following .. can you ship UPS Next Day? 2- #2 12- #3 (if it works I might reorder a gross) 2- #4 2pair- #5...dont ask! 1- #6 already have #7 1- #14 no comment......I know you have operators standing byjust one other request, could this please be delivered in a plain brown wrapper. be well you crazy wonderful man tender hugs...m. [blog talldarkavg1]
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How many black highlighters can I order? And, folks, he ON his medication. [blog talldarkavg1]
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 the 60's were great. Who knew the effects were long lasting?[blog talldarkavg1]
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The iPhoney has nothing on these! <- Profile photo courtesy of Bonding with coworkers
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14. Handbag made from foreskin. Now, talk about fashionable! The kicker...if you stroke the purse...it turns into a suitcase! Hawaii here I cum. and here I am with a serious purse fetish-I own about 20 and no I don't coordinate my outfits to my purse(that's my shoes), well only on special days and yes my boyfriend is afraid #1 and #3 had me rolling too! xoxo T  Let me offer u comfort, rest,& peace.
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The iPhoney has nothing on these! [blog talldarkavg1]
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14. Handbag made from foreskin. Now, talk about fashionable! The kicker...if you stroke the purse...it turns into a suitcase! Hawaii here I cum. and here I am with a serious purse fetish-I own about 20 and no I don't coordinate my outfits to my purse(that's my shoes), well only on special days and yes my boyfriend is afraid #1 and #3 had me rolling too! xoxo T[blog talldarkavg1]
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11/12/2008 3:01 pm |
Please let me know as soon as #14 and #9 go into production and are available for sale on your website...... Thank you very much.  
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Please let me know as soon as #14 and #9 go into production and are available for sale on your website...... Thank you very much. I penciled you in. With my nubby, but tasty, pencil.[blog talldarkavg1]
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OMG...don't mess with those bloodsuckers! Just send me a blank check and I'll handle all the details. [blog talldarkavg1]
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I'm dying from all these photos. [blog talldarkavg1]
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I'm thinking we need an endorsement deal with you! [blog talldarkavg1]
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11/13/2008 7:40 am |
#3 and #10 almost choked me you crazy man  roaming the cyber streets of blogland  
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#3 and #10 almost choked me you crazy man [blog talldarkavg1]
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How about a remote control bra unlatcher? Press a button and them puppies are FREE!!! Power fly unzipper for those auto flush toilets. Solar powered toilet paper unroller. Auto install condoms!! Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature. Marilyn Monroe
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