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Hurricanes Suck & So Do We
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Hurricanes Suck & So Do We I was watching the news and they were interviewing pinheads in the path of Hurricane Dean. They were going to ride it out. I started thinking and asked myself, "Why haven't I ever seen mice balls?" I got sidetracked. I asked, "What's wrong with these people? Didn't they hear of Katrina?" Then it hit me. Obviously, men are the problem. Who the hell is going to be afraid of a hurricane named Dean? There are too many positives associated with the name Dean. Jimmy Dean, Dean's Foods, James Dean, Dean guitars. You hear Dean's coming...you don't run in fear. You straighten the place up and light scented candles. Katrina. There's another real fear striker. Katrina is way too perky to be a hurricane. No wonder nobody fled when they heard Katrina was coming. Katrina is coming ? They hung out figuring they'd get laid. Rumors spread about how hot Katrina is. Guys anxiously awaited her arrival. Tuxedo rentals shot through the roof. You see, our method of naming hurricanes is just wrong. We need names that scare people. Would you flee Katrina...no. Flee Helga The Ball Cutter...hell yes. Flee Dean...no. Flee Bill Clinton's Penis...hell yes. Flee Andrew...no. Flee Valdispar The Entrail Slasher...hell yes. Flee Annette...no. Flee Scary Spice...hell yes. I understood when they decided it was sexist to name hurricanes with only female names. I agree. But who the hell is now in charge of name selection? Take a gander at the names this guy selected for 2007 and tell me, any of these puppies scare you? Andrea Barry Chantal Dean Erin Felix Gabrielle Humberto Ingrid Jerry Karen Lorenzo Melissa Noel Olga Pablo Rebekah Sebastien Tanya Van Wendy I think not. OK , you know me...on occasion, a tad disenchanted with the system. Here are my names for this season. Names that may make you take notice and possible run in fear. Ass reaper Ball crusher Cooter roto rooter Drive over your testicles Entrail remover Fuck you up Gonad hit with a mallet Hairy hairy hairy vagina Intestine fondler Jack the Ripper was gay compared to this one Kill you in a country jinite Lysol in your<b> urethra </font></b>Mimes Naked cast of Roseanne Opie Taylor's homicidal twin Pat Buchanan Queer eye...in your shower Russel Crow is your neighbor Sucked off by Rosie O'Donnell Tip with alimony payment Vagina monologues W Bush for 4 more years Got any others?  [blog talldarkavg1] |
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Hey, Karen can be a real bitch. And, as an illustration of your H name . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . creamy8787 I had to do the dots to get it away from my eye.  Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.
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Blogger on here named Dean who has been talking about this weather condition. I'm going to go link this post on his post for him to read! 
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Spunky I like it. [blog talldarkavg1]
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Daph...I never saw Karen as a real bitch. Am I missing something?  As far as the picture you included...I have not been able to eat since looking at it. Let you know if intestinal dilemma follows. [blog talldarkavg1]
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Now be nice. And no, I don't want and would run from Ball Crusher. I have a unique perspective on this. I contact and exchange some very limited information and theories with the hurricane research people in Florida, Minnesota, and Colorado. For instance I think that the modeling of the eyewall needs to begin with four dimensional math. And there is just the very faintest, the tiniest sliver of possibility, that this hurricane was named for me, a gentle thorn in their side. Dean
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Thanks AB...does he carry a gun? [blog talldarkavg1]
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8/21/2007 9:53 pm |
How about Skanky Fish Smelling Slut. Daphne, why'd you post that pic? That's just a whole lotta fur. Ma! Get the weedwacker!! GossipJunkie "Dance like nobody's watching"
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8/22/2007 5:30 am |
I've none to add but I'll say this being here in the midwest and with tornado season has me scared to death and I know if one touches down near me my ass will be crying like a pussy in my bathtub clickin my heels together wishin I was back in Zoo York roaming the cyber streets of blogland  
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How about Hurricane "British cooking" now if that don't scare the bejammers out of yuh nuthing will. As always Swallow
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Sailor I bow to your knowledge. The hurricane center at the school, Colorado Literature & Information Technology (CLIT) is renowned for their work. Well done. [blog talldarkavg1]
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New you have potential son. I will pass your name along to the muckety mucks at hurricane central. [blog talldarkavg1]
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Curious...you have seen the light. Bless you son. [blog talldarkavg1]
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Junkie...after reading your hurricane name not only did I flee in terror...I couldn't re-enter the room for an hour without spraying Glade. [blog talldarkavg1]
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Squirter...I think you and New may make a great tag team. I'll recommend both of you. [blog talldarkavg1]
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Dig, tornadoes are a special midwestern treat. Nothing says good morning like air raid sirens! [blog talldarkavg1]
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AF...you're coming alone nicely. [blog talldarkavg1]
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Swallow...indeed. Bubble & squeak...yikes! [blog talldarkavg1]
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*giggles*..Oh I have to agree about the names...this was too good ..thank you 
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Shy...my pleasure. [blog talldarkavg1]
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new sent me over here to read this and i loved it .....too funny.....thanks for the laughs......have a great night
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Thanks Lucky. Drop in again sometime. [blog talldarkavg1]
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LOL Wet. I as too timid to go the Nun route. My hat is off to your courage! Thanks. [blog talldarkavg1]
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Get...would we use a hieroglyph instead of the name? [blog talldarkavg1]
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8/23/2007 3:36 pm |
You make a good point! I have to question why we even bother to name them? Can't we just use the Dewey decimal system?
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LOL Truman. I love obscure references. Was the guy that invented that system the one that ran against Harry Truman or Huey & Louie's brother? [blog talldarkavg1]
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