10813 posts 3/18/2012 9:32 pm
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Insane In The Membrane.....
The way things go now in days, everyone seems to always say that they feel like they are just "Going Crazy". People are taking all kinds of drugs to try to feel "Sane"..... I say FUCK BEING SANE!!!!! I'd rather hold a healthy level of insanity. Well..... If you want to hols a healthy level of insanity too, there are just a few simple rules you need to follow.
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars..... See If they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom..... Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask "Would you like fries with that?"
4.Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "Inbox."
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions..... Switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish all your sentences with..... "In Accordance with the Prophecy."
8 Don t use any punctuation
9. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter, and ask, "Where is the fitting room?"
10. As often as possible, skip, rather than walk.
11. With a straight face, when you go out to eat, Order a diet water.
12. Specify that your drive-through order is "Dine in."
13. Sing along at the opera.
14. Go to a poetry recital and ask..... "Why don't the poems rhyme?"
15. Put mosquito netting around your work area, and play tropical sounds all day.
16. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're "Not in the mood."
17. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard".
18. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!"
19. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
20. Tell your over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
And Finally the last way to keep a healthy level of insanity.....
21. Tell everyone that you read about this from the acoustic version of Bach.
TIPS:
Make sure that you don't overdo any of these activities, or the men in white lab coats will come and take you away for real.
Do these things, not necessarily in the order presented, and DEFINITELY not one after the other. Allow some time to pass between each one so that people aren't thinking about your antics the last time.
Make sure that you always have a clear escape route if things turn ugly.
If you DO happen to see anyone in a white coat with orderlies flanking them, immediately end your conversation with the nearest inanimate object in a loud voice, and then run in the opposite direction as fast as possible.
WARNINGS:
May result in: friends and coworkers shunning you, loss of job, removal from restaurants, arrest, restraining orders, lawsuits and strange looks from complete strangers (as if that wasn't strange in itself).
May cause: Insanity (now there's a crazy thought), loss of sanity (oh dear), and chronic hemorrhoids (uh oh), as well as excessive and uncontrollable hilarity.
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES DO ANY OF THE ABOVE ACTIVITY WHEN TALKING TO A POLICE OFFICER UNLESS IT IS A SOCIAL OCCASION!
Don't do this during school because you might be sent to mental school.
Tings You Will Need"
A slightly deranged mind
Willingness to be considered a jerk, freak, weirdo, or<b> psycho
</font></b>Friends
Random Strangers
A disguise
No modesty, pride, or self-consciousness
Have Fun!!!!!
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Much Love, Respect and Great Adventures to Follow
 
 
       
Come Inside [blog massageman00]
Want a Bob? The Giveaway
Got a burning question? Ask Bob
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3/19/2012 4:42 pm
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I love it. I should make the INBOX for my fucking students.
Speaking of... you know what's easier than community college? You. 
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18009 posts 3/19/2012 5:15 pm |
Quoting cjcouple12:
I love it. I should make the INBOX for my fucking students.
Speaking of... you know what's easier than community college? You.
| Today, I'm easier then a 2 cent whore on half price Fridays |
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Much Love, Respect and Great Adventures to Follow
Come Inside [blog massageman00]
Want a Bob? The Giveaway
Got a burning question? Ask Bob
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