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Blogs > HokieTiger > The boy with kaleidoscope eyes

I don't get how/why people do the "dating thing"...  

HokieTiger 43M
282 posts
8/14/2007 11:08 pm
I don't get how/why people do the "dating thing"...

Have you ever noticed that people don't act the same when they are dating/ looking for people to date/ going on dates? I've noticed that almost without fail people seem to be other people when they date. Everything seems so cliche and just really hard.
It seems like most poeple want to be happy, find someone they can be happy with, and share life; more or less. Though, when people date they become crazy selection machines. They think "I want this, I don't want that, I need this, I don't like that." And all it serves to do is make it hard to meet people and actually talk to anyone.
Noone makes friends like that do they?
I am just frustrated I guess. I really don't like being fake and I really hate all the red tape and pageantry of dating. Why can't two people just talk without having preconceptions of each other, what will happen, etc.

Does anyone else feel like dating gets in the way of itself? How does everyone else approach it? I'd like to think it's not something I'm doing, but I'm really starting to wonder about it.

I had a disturbing thought that I feel like George Costanza. I am always me and I don't often put on aires for anyone. I think I tend to rub people the wrong way when I meet them, but it's like when people get comfortable suddenly I'm a good friend. Has anyone ever seen that Seinfeld episode where George goes on about how he just endears himself after the magic # of dates. People hate him and then need him? I think I feel dirty that I had that thought (btw, I am nothing like George).
Or...I might just be full of shit

Hope you can't help but find happiness, and pain can't find you even with help!

Check out my blog and give me a look loves hokietiger
rm__loveplay 58F
Ask me for a photo
801 posts
1/22/2008 10:25 pm

 I decided to check out more of your blog...lol. I swear, you seem sort of like a mini-me. Only you're a boy. And white. And younger than me. With a better education...lol. Seriously, though...this is like several of my own blogs all rolled into one. A different perspective, to be sure...but some of the same basic concepts.

'Fake' makes me a tad nauseous. And if there's one thing I hate more than someone else seeming fake...it's feeling as if I'm being fake myself. So I try to avoid that at all costs. 'Dating' is not something I've ever really done for various reasons (I think you read my post), but I think I get what you mean. Like people often put on personaes they think the other person will be attracted to...or that they think is better/more attractive than who they actually are.

As for being selective...I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with that. Take a look around blogland and you'll see pretty much everyone is selective to some degree or other. I think the down side is that if one is too selective then they end up cutting themselves off from potential happiness with someone who doesn't fit into the box. I myself have certain 'qualities' that I look for in others before I can form the sort of close bond that I would have with a close friend and/or lover. Maybe this is why I have a smaller group of friends than I did when I was younger? Lol.

I think two people can just talk and get to know each other...but the thing with 'dating' is that everyone goes into it with some sort of preconceived notions of what they want to happen. You ask someone out for whatever reason (normally physical attraction) and you're hoping they will be the sort of person inside that you like. And you're hoping they like you back in the same way. That's what dating is, isn't it? Otherwise you're just hanging out. Right?

Am I over-simplifying? Have I missed something? I don't know...I've never really dated...lol. Mostly because of what you described.

Lol...I think it's funny that you mentioned George in this post. If you look at the very bottom of my profile I actually mentioned him. It was sort of a joke with some truth thrown in. I don't actually know you, but you don't really strike me as being of the same ilk as George. Actually, you seem like kind of a nice guy (am I wrong? lol). Easy on the eye. Communicative. Intelligent. Then again...this is blogland where some objects appear bigger and better than they do in the 'real world'....lol.


HokieTiger replies on 1/23/2008 12:25 am:
Look at you reading my old posts . No I'm good people, but then I suppose everyone says that don't they.

I don't think I'm like george. I tend to speak with lots of twistyness if you know what I mean. For many it rubs them the wrong way. Some see it as arrogant because I like to play with words and phrases. I'm just playing. Some think I can be an asshole because I like to play devil's advocate. I personally just think those people are a bit insecure.

George isn't me. It was just his 3 date rule where all women would like him. It takes people a little bit of exposure sometimes to get over any bad sort of first impression they may have had of me. That's what I meant.

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